Emma.
Emotions swamped her—loss, heartache, sadness, regret—but the strongest, the one that had always been there, even through the pain, was love.
She trailed her fingers softly over the four letters etched into his skin, blinking back tears that seemed to come out of nowhere, and looked up at him, kneeling above her, his eyes as blue and fathomless as she’d ever seen them. “Oh, Alec.”
He lowered his mouth back to hers, and she opened to his insistent kiss, opened her mind to possibilities she’d never thought she’d have again, opened her heart to the only man she’d ever loved.
His hands streaked down her sides and around her front to free the snap on her jeans. In one swift move he pulled them off her legs and dropped them on the floor. She groaned as he kissed her again, as his hand moved down her belly. And when his fingers slipped between her legs, she trembled, held on to his shoulders tighter, and rocked into his hand until the pleasure overwhelmed her.
He drew back from her mouth long before she was ready to stop kissing him. Startled, she opened her eyes only to realize he was wriggling out of his jeans faster than she’d ever seen him move.
She watched as he wrestled his wallet from his jeans, pulled a condom free, and ripped it open with his teeth. But the need to feel him overpowered every thought, and as soon as he was sheathed, she reached for him, pulling his body back over hers and his lips right down where they belonged. “Come back here.”
He groaned as his tongue slipped into her mouth. And when his bare flesh slid along hers and his familiar weight pressed her into the mattress, she opened her legs and kissed him harder, drawing him inside her, right where he belonged.
She trembled at the way he filled her as if they were made for each other. Her body felt on fire, her skin ultrasensitive. Kissing her harder, he began to move.
“Ah, Raegan . . .” He kissed the edge of her mouth, her cheek, moved to her ear and sucked the lobe between his lips. “Need this. Need you . . .”
She needed him too. More than she’d realized until this moment. “Don’t stop.” Her eyes slid closed when he hit the perfect spot, sending sparks all through her body. “Don’t let go.”
“Never could,” he rasped. “Ah God, not gonna last. Come with me, Raegs.”
He groaned, and when she felt him grow harder inside her, the pleasure ignited, sending a shock wave all throughout her body. “Oh yes, Alec . . .”
She cried out as it consumed her, was unable to do anything but let it pull her under. In a daze, she heard him grunt, felt every muscle in his body tighten. And knew the shock wave was consuming him too. Exactly as it should. Right along with her. The way it had always been.
He stilled against her, his hot breath fanning her neck and shoulder where his face was tucked against her. Slowly, she became aware of the comforter beneath her, his sweaty skin against her, and the twitch of his back muscles under her hands. She realized something else too. That this wasn’t a fantasy or a dream. Alec was on top of her, still inside her, and she didn’t want to ever let him go.
She had absolutely no idea if he felt the same.
She knew their meeting with the Ramirezes had affected him. Knew by the way he’d been watching her that he’d felt something. Knew whatever that something was had pushed him to kiss her in the living room. But did he want more? Did he want any of the same things she did?
Panic rushed in. A panic that came out of nowhere and stole her breath. A panic that was rooted in the fact she’d barely survived losing him once. If this was just his needing comfort because he felt sad . . . if this was nothing more than casual sex—no matter how incredible it had been—she was in trouble. Because she wasn’t anywhere near as confident and put together as he thought. And he had the power to destroy her if she wasn’t careful about what she said and did right in this moment.
He pushed up on one hand and looked down at her, his face flushed, his eyes sexy and sated and . . . assessing. “Sorry that was so fast. It’s been a while for me.”
Oh no. She couldn’t think about how long it had been for him or whom it had last been with. Not when her heart was already racing on a roller coaster. She focused on a mole near his collarbone. “It was fine.”
“Fine.” His eyes narrowed. “I see that wasn’t the only thing that was fast.”
She didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, and right now she didn’t want to ask.
One corner of his mouth curved in a sexy smirk. He lowered to his elbows and brushed the damp hair away from her temples. “I almost forgot how fast your brain can flip from pleasure to pondering.”
She frowned, still staring at the mole. “I’m not pondering.”
His smile widened. A mesmerizing Cheshire grin she saw from the edge of her vision and which made her blood hot all over again. “Yes, you are. Your brain always worked faster than mine.” He leaned down and kissed her. “Don’t think, wife. Just let it be. Just feel.”
His lips moved to her ear, and she shivered at the wicked sensations rushing over her skin, but the pain cutting through her heart kept her from getting lost in him all over again. “I’m not your wife, Alec. Not anymore.”
He eased back and looked down at her, but this time there was no humor in his eyes when they held hers. There was only truth. A truth that rocked her way more than his body ever could.
“You’ll always be my wife, Raegan. A piece of paper doesn’t change that.” He reached for her hand and placed it over his heart, right where the word “Emma” was etched into his skin. “I don’t have any answers to the questions rolling around in your head right now; I just know I want to be with you tonight. Because I miss you. I miss us. I miss this.”
Tears burned her eyes. “I miss us too.”
He lowered his mouth and kissed her. Tears streamed down her temples as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. Tears rooted in hope and fear and love.
Whole, broken, fragmented, or shattered, it didn’t matter how he came back to her. She’d take anything she could get. She just wasn’t sure if he had anything more than tonight to give.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Alec rolled to his side in the middle of the night and reached for Raegan, only to find her side of the bed empty.
Pushing up on his elbow, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around the dark bedroom. “Raegs?”
No sound met his ears, and nothing moved. The adjoining bathroom was dark and quiet as well. A whisper of unease tickled his spine as he climbed out of bed and reached for his pants from the floor. He’d seen the worry in her eyes after they’d made love, knew she was probably overthinking everything right now and trying to figure out where they stood.
His heart skipped a beat as he rose and pulled on his pants. Where did they stand? He didn’t have a clue. Nothing between them had really changed. She still needed to believe Emma was alive, and even with everything they’d uncovered the last few days, he was still pretty sure his father was the one who’d taken their daughter. They hadn’t found any proof that Emma’s disappearance was linked to these cases. Which meant neither of them was ever going to convince the other to change their beliefs, and no matter what happened between them here, at the end of the day they’d be right back where they were three years ago.
Except . . .
Pressure formed beneath his ribs, a pressure that brought his palm up to rub against the spot. Tonight, being with her again, was the first time in a long time anything had felt right. He wasn’t sure he wanted to give that up. Wasn’t sure of anything except that he didn’t want to think about tomorrow yet.
Unable to find his shirt in the dark, he opened the door and moved into the hall. A light shone from the living room, so he headed that way, then drew to a stop when he spotted Raegan at the stove in the kitchen, flipping something in a pan with a spatula, her back angled his way, her sexy body covered by nothing but his black T-shirt.
Heat rolled through his belly as he watched her lift whatever she was c
ooking to a plate, the T-shirt pulling up to reveal her creamy thighs and long, toned legs. Her auburn hair hung halfway down her back, and her slim arms flexed in the oversized garment with her movements.
God, she was beautiful. More beautiful than she’d been six years ago when they’d met, because her body was curvy and filled out in all the right places now. He knew part of that was because she was older, no longer the twenty-five-year-old who’d been obsessed with working out. But another part knew it was because of her pregnancy, because carrying his child had changed her body from that of a girl to a woman, one he wanted more of right this minute.
Quietly, he crossed the living room and moved into the kitchen, his heart pounding, his blood warming with every step, and slid his arms around her waist from behind.
She startled and turned to look up at him. “Alec. Geez, you scared me.”
“Sorry.” He brushed his nose against her hair, drawing in a deep whiff of her sweet jasmine scent. She even smelled incredible. “That bed is cold without you in it.”
He brushed her hair to the side with his hand, nipped at her throat, then pressed a kiss against the tender spot.
“Oh.” Her body tensed, only to relax back into him, just as he wanted. “Um . . . I was hungry. I tried not to wake you.”
He glanced past her to the grilled cheese sandwich on the plate in front of her. “If you’re hungry, I’m sure I can find something to satisfy you.”
She turned to look up at him, her cheeks shifting to a soft shade of pink, and he knew by her reaction that she’d cued in to what he meant. But instead of smiling, worry rippled in her eyes. A worry he knew was the real reason she’d left him sleeping alone in that bed.
He slid his hands back to her waist, maneuvered her around so her back pressed against the counter, and moved in at her front. “You’re thinking too much again, Raegan.”
A frown pulled at her lips. “One of us needs to.”
“Why?”
“Because this”—she lifted her hands and dropped them on his biceps—“it makes no sense.”
“When did it ever?”
The cute little lines between her eyes deepened, causing him to laugh.
He brushed his lips over the spot, then trailed kisses down the left side of her face until he reached the corner of her mouth. “I don’t want to think about yesterday.” Moving across her jaw, he kissed his way to her throat. “Or tomorrow.”
Her eyes slid closed, and a sigh slipped from her luscious lips.
He pushed her plate out of the way and lifted her to sit up on the counter. “Right now I only want to think about you.”
Surprised, she opened her eyes and gazed down at him.
He stepped between her legs and pushed the edge of his T-shirt up her creamy thighs. “And about how hungry you make me.”
Her eyes glazed over with lust, and she groaned as she leaned down and kissed him, drawing his tongue into her mouth and wrapping her arms around his neck.
Yeah, this was all he wanted to focus on tonight. Just her and him and nothing else. His whole body tightened when he discovered she was naked beneath his shirt. She sucked in a breath when he touched her and kissed him harder. His erection swelled as he teased her. He just wanted to focus on her. Her and the way she made him feel. Everything else could wait.
He kissed the corner of her lips, nipped at her jaw, and worked his way down her throat. She groaned and tightened her arms around his shoulders. A ringing sounded from the living room, interrupting his plans to show her just how hungry she made him.
Lifting her head, Raegan looked past him toward the couch and in a breathless voice said, “That’s not my cell. It must be yours.”
He didn’t care who was calling. Sliding a hand around her neck, he pulled her mouth back to his. “Whoever it is can wait.”
She opened to his kiss again. The ringing stopped. Pushing the shirt up to her waist, he slipped his hand beneath the soft cotton and palmed her breast. Her groan deepened, and she kissed him deeper.
His cell phone rang again, causing her to jerk back from his mouth.
“Dammit.” He didn’t want to answer it, but he didn’t want it to keep going off and distracting her from what he was about to do either. Reluctantly, he withdrew his hand, letting the cotton fall to her thighs. “Don’t you dare move.”
A wicked smile pulled at her lips. “Turn that thing off, and I won’t.”
Spotting his cell on the coffee table, he grasped it, flipped it over, and was just about to power it down when he read Jack Bickam’s name across the screen.
His chest tightened. Wide-eyed, he glanced toward Raegan. “It’s Bickam.”
Her cheeks paled, and she immediately climbed off the counter, crossing quickly to his side. “Answer it. He wouldn’t be calling in the middle of the night unless it was important.”
That was exactly what Alec was thinking. Swallowing hard, he pressed the phone to his ear. “McClane.”
“Alec, it’s Jack Bickam with the FBI. Sorry to bother you so late, but something came up down here at the crime lab that I wanted to run by you.”
The words “crime lab” didn’t do a thing to ease the knot suddenly twisting in Alec’s gut. “Yeah, okay. What is it?”
“Two days ago, a two-year-old boy was abducted from his yard in North Portland. He showed up the following morning in the backseat of an abandoned car we found out on Highway 26.”
“Yeah, Raegan told me about him. What does that have to do with me?”
“I’m not sure it has anything to do with you, but . . .” Bickam paused, and the hairs on Alec’s nape stood straight as he looked toward Raegan’s expectant face.
“Well?” Raegan mouthed.
“A forensics team’s been going through the car, looking for hair, skin, any kind of evidence they can use to identify the driver. So far we’ve got the lab running analysis, but the team found a bag in the trunk that led to my call.”
Alec’s heart pounded hard, and against the phone, his fingers shook. Part of him didn’t want to know, but he had to ask. “What was in the bag, Bickam?”
“Oh. Damn. Not what you think. Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It was filled with stuffed animals. Nothing more.”
Alec breathed easier and scrubbed a hand over his forehead. Nothing more than stuffed animals. The pressure building in his chest eased.
“The forensics team cataloged the items, but I didn’t take a look at them until tonight. I was going to wait and call you in the morning but thought you might want to know now. In the bottom of the bag we found a stuffed white rabbit with a red collar. And it isn’t new. It’s worn, as if it’s been held. A lot.”
Alec’s heart felt as if it came to a stuttering stop, right in the center of his chest. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna text you a photo. I wasn’t sure if I should show this to Raegan. She looked pretty shaken the other day at the ER. If—”
“She’s standing right next to me.”
“Oh.” Surprise echoed in Bickam’s voice. Since he kept up with them periodically about Emma’s case, he knew they’d divorced not long after she went missing. “Well, good. It should be coming through now. Have her take a look at it too.”
Alec’s phone buzzed, indicating he’d received a text. “Hold on.”
Pulling the phone away from his face, he paged to his text messages.
“What is it?” Raegan asked at his side. “What’s going on?”
Alec opened the picture message. And felt the room sway under his feet.
“Oh my God.” Raegan’s hand covered her mouth. Wide-eyed, she lowered her hand and looked up at him. “That’s Emma’s bunny. Where did they find it? Where—”
“McClane?” Bickam’s voice sounded from the phone.
Dazed, Alec lifted it back to his ear. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“I heard her,” Bickam said. “Any chance you two can come down to the lab tomorrow morning and take a look at this thing for me?”
“No.” Alec stared down at Raegan. “There’s no way we can wait until the morning. We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Raegan couldn’t take her eyes off the stuffed white bunny in her gloved hands, with matted fur and dirt streaking across one whole side. “It’s Emma’s. I know it is.”
Beside her in the FBI’s crime lab, Alec shifted his weight, jangling the keys in the front pocket of his jeans. “It might be. We don’t know for sure that it is. Let’s not get carried away just yet.”
His skepticism barely fazed her. “It’s hers. I remember when she pulled this button off beneath the bow. It went flying across the car. I saved it. I always meant to reattach it, but I just never found the time.” She turned toward Jack Bickam, standing behind her in slacks and a dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. “I have it in a drawer at the apartment. I can get it for you. You can see—”
“I don’t think that’s necessary, Raegan, but I’ll tell the tech.”
Alec pulled his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms over his chest, a grim expression on his face, the good mood he’d been in back at her apartment long gone. “Let’s say for argument’s sake this is hers.” He glanced at Raegan with a pointed look. “And I’m not saying it is hers.” He looked back at Bickam. “But if so, what can it tell us?”
“Well.” With his own gloved hands, Bickam took the toy from Raegan. Reluctantly, she let him have it, but her fingers felt cold when it left her grip, and it was all she could do not to yank it away from him. “We’ll run tests on it. See what we can find. If there are any hair or skin cells in the fur, we’ll find them.”
“Can you tell how long it was in that car?” she asked.
“Probably not.” Bickam set the rabbit back on the high counter behind Raegan. She turned to stare at it, unable to look away. “We’ll run what we find on the toy against what we found in the car. That might tell us if the same person who abducted that toddler was ever near Emma. Assuming it’s her toy, that is.”