Beside her, Alec nodded.
“There’s not much more you two can do here tonight,” Bickam said, drawing Raegan’s attention. “Why don’t you head home? It’ll be a few days at least before we get any kind of results. I’ll call you as soon as I have any news.”
“Thanks.” Alec shook Bickam’s hand and turned to leave, but Raegan’s feet faltered, and when she looked back at the dirty toy, she didn’t want to let it out of her sight.
“Come on, Raegs.” Alec tugged at her elbow.
She finally turned away from the toy and followed him out into the hall. But the minute they were alone, everything started to shake. “Oh my God.”
He drew her against him. “Don’t do it, Raegan.”
“Alec.” She gripped his elbows and looked up at him. “It’s her bunny. You know it’s her bunny.”
Doubt crossed his features. Doubt and fear. But she didn’t let it deter her.
She held on tighter, pleading with her eyes, with her grip, with her voice. “You know it’s her bunny. You saw it. It’s the same one she used to drag everywhere. It’s the same one she used to tuck under her arm when she snuggled with you on the couch.”
His gaze searched hers, full of apprehension and pain.
“It’s hers, Alec. I know it’s hers.”
“Maybe,” he finally whispered.
Tears blurred her eyes. Tears of hope and of relief. She slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his chest, the beat of his heart strong, steady, real. As real as that rabbit.
“Maybe, okay?” he said louder, closing his arms around her. “But it doesn’t mean anything. Even if it’s hers, it won’t tell us where she is. It won’t tell us if she’s alive or . . .”
He swallowed hard, and just the fact he couldn’t say the word anymore gave her a strength she hadn’t felt before.
She lifted her head and gazed up at him through blurry vision. “She’s alive, Alec. I feel it. I know it. I know you feel it too.”
“Raegan.” He framed her face with his hands, his eyes still pained but insistent. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up here.”
“She’s linked to that boy they found in the car. To that girl we saw at the hospital. I know it.”
“Those kids were missing for a day and week. Not three years. Even if she is alive, she could be anywhere.”
“We’ll find her.”
“Raegan—”
“I know we’ll find her.” She closed her arms around his waist again and pressed her cheek to his heart. “This is a sign, Alec. A good sign.”
He wrapped his arms around her again. Tight. So tight. “I want to believe that,” he whispered. “I really do.”
For the first time in three years, her heart, which had been empty for so long, slowly started to fill. She closed her eyes and this time didn’t let any of the doubt in. “You will. I’ll make you believe it. I promise.”
Alec hadn’t slept. He spent the night wrapped around Raegan while she dozed, but he couldn’t get his mind to stop spinning long enough to relax. All he could focus on was that stupid stuffed animal. All he could see was the hundreds of times he’d watched Emma drag it through the apartment. All he could think about was the dozens of different scenarios she could be in right this moment if she really was alive.
If she was alive . . .
That was the kicker, right? If. He hadn’t lied to Raegan. He wanted to believe their daughter was out there somewhere. But every time he tried, a new sense of fear grabbed hold and wouldn’t let go—one focused on who she was with, what they were making her do, and what would happen to her if he and Raegan never tracked her down.
“Wow,” Ethan said through the receiver pressed to his ear, pulling him back to his current conversation. “Have you told Mom and Dad?”
Alec frowned from the couch where he sat, dragging his attention from the hall and the sound of Raegan’s shower running in the bedroom. “What do you think? I wouldn’t be telling you if you hadn’t called to make sure I hadn’t lost my shit with Raegan.”
“And have you?”
Classic Ethan. Always pushing. Alec scraped a hand through his hair. “No. You’ll be thrilled to know she put me in my place the other night.”
“She’s the only woman who ever could. I’m not worried about Raegan. She’s a survivor. I’m more concerned with how you’re handling all this news about Emma.”
“What news? We have no news. All we have is a stuffed animal that may or may not be hers.”
“Come on, Alec.”
He knew what Ethan was getting at. Alec looked down and scratched the back of his head. “I want a drink bad, okay? But I’m not going to have one.”
If he’d heard the news alone, if he’d been out of the country when he’d gotten that call from Bickam, he might have gone straight to an airport bar and gotten tanked. But he wasn’t about to do that now because Raegan needed him.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
The shower shut off, and Alec lifted his head, peering back toward the hall once more. “Look, I gotta go. Raegan and I are heading out in a bit to do some interviews.”
“Okay. I won’t keep you any longer. Just one more thing. How are things between the two of you?”
How were they? Hotter than hell and better than they’d been in three damn years. “Fine.”
“You and your ‘fines.’” Ethan sighed.
“They’re good, okay? We’ve talked some things out.”
That wasn’t a total lie. They had talked a little. And kissed and made love and slept wrapped around each other like neither wanted to let go.
“That’s good to hear. It’s long overdue.”
Alec frowned because he heard the giant “but” coming. “I hate when you use the therapist tone. Just spit it out already.”
“But,” Ethan said, “she’s a trigger for you. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”
A mixture of appreciation and irritation rolled through Alec. “Well, don’t be. I’m not going to do something reckless.”
“Those have always been your famous last words.”
Footsteps sounded in the hall, distracting Alec, and he looked up to see Raegan striding toward him dressed in slim jeans and a loose gray sweater, her damp hair hanging past her shoulders, and confusion pulling the brows over her gorgeous eyes together. Heat and need and a host of nerves coiled in his belly. “Look, I really gotta go. I’ll call you when I know more.”
“Okay. Stay strong, brother.”
“You too.”
He hit “End” and pushed to his feet, fighting back the burst of arousal he always felt at seeing her. As much as he wanted a repeat of what they’d done last night, now wasn’t the time. “Hey.”
“Hey. Who was that?”
“Ethan. Making sure I’m not driving you batshit crazy already.”
She smiled, a warm, for-him-only smile that made him even hotter. “And what did you tell him?”
“That if I am, I’m sure you’ll tell me.”
Her smiled faded. “At this point, I’m just happy you’re still here.”
So was he.
They stared at each other. He wanted to reach for her, wanted to lose himself in her sweetness and forget everything else for the next three hours, but didn’t. Ethan was right. She was a trigger for him. Not one that might push him to drink, but one that made him crave things he wasn’t sure he was strong enough for. And after the news last night about that stuffed animal, he was already feeling shaky and weak and unsure about everything.
“Well.” She pulled her gaze from his, looked down at his navy Henley, and bit her lip. And in that one small movement he saw that she’d wanted him to pull her in and kiss her just as much. “We should probably get going if we want to catch that social worker before we see the Colemans.”
Yeah. The Colemans.
She moved toward the entry and reached for her coat. His heart contracted with a mix of wants and needs as he watched. For her,
for Emma, for them. But mostly it squeezed tight because he realized he was lying to himself.
There was no way he could ever truly believe Emma was dead again. Not without proof. And that realization had nothing to do with what they’d learned last night. It had to do solely with the woman in front of him. With her unfailing belief. With her strength and compassion. With her hope that gave him hope and made him feel alive.
Raegan’s gaze narrowed on the brunette in the red pantsuit walking out of a run-down ranch in Northeast Portland.
“That doesn’t look like Murray,” Alec said in the driver’s seat of his truck, where they were parked on the street.
“Didn’t the receptionist say this was where he was supposed to be today?” Raegan asked from the passenger seat, not taking her eyes off the woman.
Alec checked the notebook where he’d jotted notes. “Yeah, she did. Maybe he switched with someone?”
A tingle ran down Raegan’s spine. “Maybe.” She popped her door and climbed out. “Let’s find out.”
She rounded the hood and joined Alec on the street. They crossed and reached the blue Ford Taurus at the same time as the woman.
“Hi, there,” Raegan said, putting on her journalist smile. “Sorry to bother you. We’re looking for Conner Murray. We were told by DHS that he had an appointment here today.”
A nervous look passed over the brunette’s face. “Someone told you he’d be here today?”
“Yeah,” Alec said. “Yesterday. He agreed to answer a few questions for a story we’re researching.” It wasn’t a total lie, Raegan figured, as Alec pulled out his Associated Press badge and held it up. Just a little white one. To get the answers they needed, she didn’t even care if he flirted.
“Oh.” The brunette’s face sobered. “Then you didn’t hear the news.”
That tingle down Raegan’s back intensified. “What news?”
“Conner was killed yesterday.”
Shock rippled through Raegan. “How?”
“Car accident in the hills outside Sherwood. The police still aren’t sure what happened, but his car went off the road and tumbled down a hillside.”
Raegan glanced toward Alec, catching the holy hell look in his eyes.
“Are you managing his caseload now?” he asked.
“Just until someone else can be brought on. It was too late to cancel his appointments for today. What story did you two say you were working on?”
“Missing children.” Raegan handed the photos of the three children they’d identified as being Murray’s cases to the brunette. “Do you recognize any of these kids, Ms. . . .”
“Johnson.” The woman took the pictures and flipped through them. “The first two, no. But the third one . . .” She held up the photo of David Ramirez. “He has an older brother, doesn’t he?”
“He does,” Alec answered. “Miguel. He’s almost eleven now.”
“Right.” The woman nodded. “I remember because I was trying to get his parents enrolled in the Family Support and Connections program when their younger son went missing. That’s where I normally work. Only they didn’t qualify because they weren’t US citizens. Do you know what happened to them?”
“They’re doing well. Both got their citizenship, and good jobs.”
“Oh, I’m so happy to hear that. It was so sad when David went missing. Losing a child like that can rip a family apart.”
Raegan’s heart pinched, and she couldn’t stop herself from glancing toward Alec. “Yeah. We’ve heard that.”
“You don’t recognize the other two children?” Alec asked.
“No, I’m sorry.” She handed the photos back to Raegan. “I have to be going. I have a couple other families I need to visit today.”
“Sure.” Alec stepped back so the woman could open her car door. “Thanks for speaking with us.”
The woman nodded and climbed into her car. As they watched her drive away, Raegan had another funny feeling. “What are you thinking?”
Alec looked down at her. “I’m thinking we might have missed a link. If the Ramirezes and the Willigs both had older children close to the same age . . .”
Raegan’s breath caught. “Then we should check the other families and see if they had older kids as well.”
“Right. And check to see what programs those older kids were enrolled in, if any.”
“It’s also interesting that Murray turned up dead the day after we questioned him about those missing kids, don’t you think?”
Alec nodded. “Yeah. Very.” He pulled out his cell phone as they crossed the street back to his truck. “I’m gonna call Hunt and see if he can tell us anything about the accident.”
Hunt agreed to look into the accident for Alec, but as they drove into the Gorge to find the Coleman property, all Raegan could think about was the fact that two of the three families they were looking into had older children. And the fact that Emma had been an only child.
“I think this is it,” Alec said, pulling off the highway and onto a long gravel drive. The drive wound at least a mile up into the hills before a run-down home, overgrown with brush and weeds, appeared in the distance.
Raegan turned to look back the way they’d come. Through the trees she could just make out the Columbia River far below. “How long ago did you say they moved out here?”
“About four years ago.” Alec pulled the truck to a stop next to a beat-up Chevy 1500 and shifted into park. “Pretty sure this is where Brent Coleman grew up.”
The house looked like something out of The Silence of the Lambs, and Raegan couldn’t help but wonder if Brent Coleman’s ancestors had lived here too. She reached for her door handle. “You called him and told him we were coming out, right?”
“Yeah.” Alec pushed his door open. “Not exactly friendly, but he agreed to see us.”
Raegan joined him at the hood. A dog barked inside the house seconds before the screen door creaked open and a thin man with graying hair who looked to be in his fifties stepped out onto the porch. “Can I help you folks?”
Alec stepped forward on the gravel drive, but a bloodhound pushed past the man’s legs, howled, and streaked forward, rushing up to meet them with a rolling bark.
Alec moved in front of Raegan.
The man whistled and yelled, “Thunder! Get back here, you butthead.”
The dog barked once more, then turned and galloped back up to the porch.
Alec looked once at Raegan, then hesitantly moved forward. “Mr. Coleman? I’m Alec McClane. We spoke yesterday.”
Brent Coleman nodded. “Was wonderin’ if that was you. Thunder don’t like anyone with the press.” He turned with a wave of his hand. “C’mon in so we can get this over with. I got things to do.”
The look Alec sent Raegan said, See? Told ya. Not friendly. He moved up the porch steps in front of her, then held the screen door open so she could enter.
The inside of the house was just as bad as the exterior. Worn furniture filled a small living room decked out with light-brown wood paneling and brown shag carpeting Raegan guessed hadn’t been vacuumed in years. An orange-and-green-floral-print couch with wooden arms sat to the right, a gold recliner and a TV straight out of 1980s to the left. Brent Coleman flopped down in the recliner while Thunder the guard dog fell into a pile at his feet.
Alec moved to the couch and sat. Trying to ignore the mildewy scent, Raegan joined him.
“This is Raegan Devereaux,” Alex said. “Thanks for agreeing to see us.”
“Not entirely sure why I did.” Coleman reached for a tumbler on the table beside him, glanced at the ice and the little bit of golden liquid left in the bottom, and frowned before setting it down again. “My wife and I talked to a lot of reporters when Mary went missing. None of ’em ever did anything for us. Unless of course you two have some news, which is why you’re here?”
The little bit of hope Raegan heard in the man’s voice pulled at her heart, and when she saw the way his brows lifted, she realized he wasn’t nearl
y as old as she’d initially thought. Barely forty, she guessed, remembering how much older Alec had seemed to her when she’d first seen him at the hospital. Stress and worry could age a person way faster than time.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have any news for you.” Raegan tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and tried not to be saddened by the man’s slumped reaction. “We’re actually looking into several old missing-child reports in the area, trying to see if there’s any kind of link.”
“And have you found any?” Coleman asked.
“We’re not sure.” She glanced down at the folder in her lap. “You used to live in Northeast Portland, correct?”
He nodded.
“And your daughter went missing six years ago, is that right?”
“Seven in July.”
God, seven years. Raegan’s heart hurt all over again. “And she disappeared at a park?”
“At the zoo. I’d taken her there on my day off. The wheel on her stroller locked up. I took her out because she was throwing a fit about seeing the bats. She went running ahead of me to check them out while I fixed the wheel.” A dark look passed over his eyes as he reached for the empty glass by his side. “By the time I rounded the corner, the cave was packed with kids. I looked everywhere for her but couldn’t find her. Just that fast she was gone.”
The ice clinked in the glass, and from the corner of her eye, Raegan saw the way Alec’s gaze dropped to the floor, reliving, she knew, the moment he’d lost Emma.
Raegan looked back at Brent Coleman. “You told the police that your wife wasn’t at the zoo with you?”
“She wasn’t.” Coleman lifted the glass in his hand, tipped his head, and sucked back whatever alcohol was left, then set the glass back on the table at his side with a sigh. “Jules was shopping with her girlfriends that day. She’d just gotten this job at the mall, and she needed new clothes. I was glad, you know? I’d been working two jobs to keep things going, at the gas station and at the convenience store. And I was tired. But I wasn’t a bad parent.” He shook his head and stared off into space. “She never forgave me for losing Mary, though.”