She got up and began getting dressed. Her mind was racing but she couldn’t come up with a solution.
Well, maybe I don’t have an answer right now, Alina comforted herself, but if I want to be independent, I have to keep going to the English classes. I can’t worry about what Ugo will think of my bruises. I won’t miss my English class because something in my appearance might upset a man. My son’s future is at stake.
Alina combed her hair and put on her hat. Then she dressed Joey and the two of them quietly slipped out of the house. Joey was on his way to Maria’s and Alina was on her way to meet Ugo and go to class.
Chapter 54
Alina
Maria was wonderful with Joey. She refused to accept money for watching him. So, Alina brought her gifts. Today she’d made a batch of cookies for Maria, which she wrapped in a pretty kitchen towel.
“Hello, Joey! Hello, Alina,” Maria said when they walked in.
Maria was pregnant again and her belly was getting big. She and her family were poor, but they were rich in love, and that was something Alina missed. Once upon a time her life was filled with love. When she’d lived with her parents, who she missed desperately, and her sweet little sister who by now would be eighteen years old, a woman. Alina couldn’t imagine Gilde all grown up, and the idea brought tears to her eyes. Gilde was no longer a child and she’d missed all of those years with her, years she could never get back. Then she thought about Lotti, her dear friend and mentor. Lotti, I pray for you and Lev every day and I wish more than anything that I could sit at your kitchen table and talk to you, hear your voice, at least for a moment…. But of course there was no way to talk to Lotti. In fact she couldn’t even get a letter into Germany to Lotti. America was deep into the war.
American troops had landed in a bloody battle at Normandy in early June, only two months ago.
But most of all she missed Johan. Not because she was in love with him, but because he was in love with her and she knew that as long as he was alive he would have protected her. However, as much as she missed Johan, she would never allow herself to lean on anyone the way she had leaned on him. The day he died Alina knew for the first time what it was like to be alone in the world. And marrying Trevor had turned out to be worse than being alone.
Joey loved going to Maria’s house. The first few times Alina left Joey, he’d cried when Alina left for class, and she’d been sick with guilt. But now, as soon as he saw Maria he reached his chubby little toddler arms out to Maria, beckoning her to pick him up. Maria constantly told Alina to stay after class and have coffee with the other students. “Joey is fine here,” Maria would say, smiling. And Alina knew it was true, but she felt guilty because she wasn’t really with all of the other students. She was with Ugo. However, Alina didn’t know how to explain the friendship between herself and Ugo to Maria. The same way she couldn’t tell Maria about her terrible marriage or the bruises on her face. But Maria never asked and Alina was glad that she didn’t. She thought that perhaps Maria knew or at least had some idea, but she was too kind to ask.
That day, Ugo was waiting patiently on the sidewalk a block away from Maria’s apartment. Alina loved turning the corner and seeing him standing there, dressed in his nicest clothes, smiling, happy to see her. Sometimes, she thought, he reminded her of Johan, the way Johan had been so understanding, but more often, he still reminded her of her father.
“What happened to your face?” Ugo frowned as he looked at the bruise.
“Nothing. I fell.”
“You fell and hit your cheek? Hmmm. You expect me to believe that?” Ugo asked, shaking his head.
“I am asking you to respect my privacy.” Alina could not meet his eyes.
“There is no privacy between us, we are friends. Alina. You know that you can tell me anything.”
“Yes, Ugo. I know.”
“Then talk to me, please. Is your husband hurting you? Is he hurting Joey?”
She shook her head. “Just stay out of this please, Ugo. I know what I am doing.”
“You expect me to stand by and let some man hit you and not do anything to stop it? You should know me better, Alina.” He stopped walking and firmly put his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him.
“I don’t want your help. If I wanted your help, I’d ask for it,” she said, more harshly than she’d wanted to.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Then he released her shoulders and looked away.
They walked in awkward silence all the way to the English class. She took her seat, he took his, but neither of them said a word to each other. Class began, but Alina couldn’t concentrate. She was trying to protect Ugo from serving time in prison. If he had the chance, she knew he would physically assault Trevor. And if Trevor survived, she had no doubt he would file charges. As they sat at their desks, Alina could see Ugo in her peripheral vision. He was writing something in his book. Her heart melted a little for the man who meant so well. If she really studied him, he wasn’t handsome, not in a classic sense anyway. His nose was too big, his jaw too strong, his cheekbones jutted out. But he was kind and she knew he cared about her. He meant well, and she was sorry for having been so abrupt with him earlier.
The young female teacher was holding up a vase and saying “vase” as the class repeated the word after her. Just then, a woman opened the classroom door and entered without knocking. She had hair the color of ripe strawberries and a tight black dress with high heels. The teacher frowned at her for interrupting class.
“Can I help you?” the teacher said curtly.
“I must speak to Ugo Blok. I was told I could find him here,” the beautiful redhead with the almond-shaped, gold-flecked topaz eyes said in broken English. Her voice was a little too loud and the way her body trembled gave Alina the indication that she was distraught about something. Alina studied her and decided that she was quite beautiful. She wore black silk stockings. No one Alina knew owned silk stockings because they were very difficult to come by. Her magnificent red hair was caught up on one side with a shiny gold clip.. Looking at her madeAlina feel inferior, especially since she was asking for Ugo.
Ugo rose to his feet. His voice cracked as he asked, “Klara, what are you doing here?” Then before Klara could answer, Ugo said “Excuse us please,” as he took Klara’s arm and led her outside the classroom door.
Alina leaned back in her seat. This woman must be his ex-wife.
Klara. Ugo had called her Klara. Now Alina knew her name. Alina was ashamed of herself, but she couldn’t help but be jealous of the striking woman. She had no right to be. After all, she’d been pushing Ugo’s affections away for months now. She leaned her head on her hand and looked down at the desk just in case anyone was watching her. She didn’t want them to see the range of emotions that were flitting across her face. She hated to think that Ugo and Klara might be reconciling their marriage, even though she had no right to feel that way. But even if they were, that was still no reason for her to come here to his classroom to find him. Why had she come? Money? A million questions were running through Alina’s mind. But the most disturbing of them all was that she had to face that she might be losing Ugo. All of the feelings she’d been denying for him were now flooding her heart and mind, and a deep pang of fear stabbed the pit of stomach. Until today, Alina believed that Ugo would always be there waiting for her no matter what. Now she was not so sure, and as much as she was afraid to love him, she was also afraid to lose him.
The teacher was still speaking to the class, but Alina wasn’t listening. Her palms were sweating; her face was flushed. All she could do was wait until Ugo returned. And even then, what could she ask him? She had made it quite clear to him on several occasions that she never wanted another serious relationship with a man. It was true, wasn’t it? Alina wanted nothing more than independence, her own money, her own home, a place to raise Joey where he would be safe from Trevor. That was why she’d been rejecting Ugo’s affection. If she left Trevor and married Ugo, then she would be
taking Joey from one man who was not his father to live with another man who was not his father. Over the past several months she believed she’d come to know Ugo well enough to know that he would not be cruel to her son. But still she had no guarantee. And if she married Ugo and put her savings together with his, she might end up penniless again. Alina bit her lip and tried to make sense of her life. After Joey was born, everything changed. Where in the past she could afford to make mistakes, now she had to be sure Joey was cared for properly. Letting a man into her life threatened that security. Damn it Ugo, you are not what I want, she thought. Alina tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying. But it was hard to focus. Her eyes kept traveling back to the door, and she wondered what was going on outside between Ugo and that woman.
Finally Ugo came back in. He gathered his books together and picked them up. Then he leaned over and whispered in Alina’s ear.
“I need to talk to you, can you come outside the room for a minute? I don’t want to disturb the class.”
Alina nodded and got up. The teacher gave them both a look of disdain for disrupting the lesson. They walked out the door and into the hallway.
“My daughter is very sick. I have to go and see her. Klara needs money for a doctor. Apparently, she has spent everything she earned. I don’t care what she does with her money.
“In fact, I don’t care what she does at all. But I have to go and help my child.”
His hands were shaking. It broke Alina’s heart to see Ugo this distressed. Ugo had never shown such weakness. He’d always seemed so strong and in control.
“Let me come with you,” Alina said, surprising herself. She was always pulling away from him, but now something in the trembling of his hands made her want to reach out to him. To comfort him, to help.
“Alina.” He turned to look directly into her eyes. “I can’t ask you to do this. You do realize where I am going? My daughter lives with her mother in a house of prostitution.”
Alina felt her face flush with heat and embarrassment. But Ugo was so vulnerable. “I’ll go. I want to go with you.”
She saw the raw emotion come over his face, and at that moment she knew for certain that he was truly in love with her. Alina took his hand and squeezed it. A million emotions raced through her mind and body. She’d sworn to herself that she didn’t love him. In fact, she’d convinced herself that she wasn’t capable of romantic love. Her devotion, she told herself, was only to her child and there was no room in her heart for anyone else.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Ugo’s voice cracked.
“Yes.”
“Then come with me.”
“Let me go back into the classroom and get my books,” Alina said.
When they left the room and walked into the hall, Klara had left. She had already gone back to her house.
“Do you know where this place is?” Alina asked.
“Yes, I know,” Ugo said. Even in his pain, he took her books and carried them for her. It was a natural instinct for him, and Alina was touched that he kept his manners as a gentleman even now when he was under such distress.
Chapter 55
Alina
Alina was expecting the bordello to be an obvious house of ill repute. She had anticipated something outlandish and vulgar. But it was nothing of the sort. In fact it was an ordinary two-story brownstone in a less prestigious part of town. Ugo knocked on the door and Alina and Ugo were ushered in by a woman in a flimsy robe with her hair in pin curls. Other girls were sitting around a kitchen table looking disheveled. Alina thought that the prostitutes would all be as glamorous as Klara. But then she realized that Klara had dressed up to go out. It was ten thirty in the morning. The girls were probably not expecting company until the late afternoon at the earliest.
“I am here to see my daughter. My wife is Klara Blok,” Ugo said to the woman with the pin curls.
“Oh yeah, the gal with the sick kid.”
“Yes, the child is my daughter. Her name is Christina Blok.” He knew Klara used Christina’s given name and she never called her daughter Lada. That was only his special name for their child.
“Stay right here. I’ll see if it’s okay to let you go up.”
The woman disappeared for a few minutes, giving Alina time to look around. There was a large living room with lots of chairs, two huge overstuffed sofas, and a shiny black piano. The red velvet drapes were thick enough to keep out prying eyes.
“It’s all right. The two of you can go on upstairs. It’s the fifth room on the left-hand side. The kid has an attached room to her mother’s. So, just go on into Klara’s room and she’ll direct you from there.”
They walked up the flight of stairs to the second floor. Ugo leaned over to Alina as he opened the door. “I can’t stand to think that my daughter is growing up here in this place with these women. I want her to come to live with me and my family. But Klara’s been fighting me about it and she has a better lawyer. I think he must be one of her customers that she met in this place. But maybe once Christina gets well, Klara might see how it would be better for her to be away from this house and these women. I am hoping she will finally agree to let me take my daughter out of here.”
Klara was standing in the doorway between the two rooms.
Ugo didn’t care that Klara heard him. He just glared at his exwife.
“She’s right in here.” Klara directed Ugo. Alina followed.
Ugo ran to the bed and knelt down beside his daughter while Alina stood helpless beside him.
The child was crying. “Shhh,” Ugo said, and he picked her up into his arms, held her close to him, and rocked her. He put his lips to her forehead. Then he turned to Klara. “She’s burning up with fever. Go and get the doctor. I’ll pay him.”
Klara didn’t speak. She nodded and left.
“Can I hold her?” Alina asked.
Carefully Ugo put Christina in Alina’s arms. The child didn’t recognize Alina and so she pushed away. Alina could see that the little girl wanted her father, so she put her back into Ugo’s arms. “I think you’re right, she’s very hot, she has a fever.”
Before the doctor arrived, Christina vomited on Ugo, but he didn’t seem fazed. In fact even with vomit all over his only suit jacket, Ugo still didn’t put Christina down. He kept pacing and rocking her.
The doctor arrived and began examining the two-year-old. Ugo whispered in Alina’s ear, “She looks so tiny lying there.”
“I know. She’ll be all right. You’ll see.” Alina tried to be encouraging.
“Her throat is very red,” the doctor said, “and she’s running a high fever. Keep her warm, make sure she drinks a lot of liquids, and wash her down with rubbing alcohol to bring down her fever. I’ll come back in a few days to see how she’s doing.”
Ugo stayed with Christina, not leaving her side.
Alina went home later that afternoon but returned with homemade chicken soup the following day.
Three days passed, and Ugo still did not leave his daughter.
Alina dropped Joey off for an hour at Maria’s apartment and came by to check on Christina every day. On the fourth day, Christina seemed to be getting better. She was smiling and more playful. She no longer had a fever, and both Ugo and Alina were relieved.
Once Ugo felt that Christina was well enough for him to leave her bedside for a few minutes, he went to talk to Klara and insisted that the brothel was no place for a child. He tried to convince Klara to let him take Christina home, telling her that it would be easier for her to work if she were free of the responsibility of caring for a child. “She will live with me. You can come to see her any time you want to.”
Klara was not convinced. She was still not willing to let Ugo take Christina.
That afternoon the doctor returned and said Christina was fine. She was well. Ugo felt it was time for him to leave the brothel. . But he decided from now on he would return at least once every week to visit with his Lada . He deserved to see his daughter gro
w up.
Alina was with Ugo when the doctor said that Christina was well, and the relief she saw on Ugo’s face touched her heart.
That night Alina was at home in the little room she shared with her son. Joey was asleep, and she was reading a novel in German when the phone rang. It was rare for anyone to call, so she ran down the stairs to answer the phone.
It was Ugo.
“Can you come quickly? Christina is very sick again. I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she can’t move her arm or leg and she can’t lift her head.”
“I can’t leave Joey with Trevor and it’s very late. I know you need me, but I can’t come until tomorrow. In the morning I can take Joey to Maria’s house and then come to you.”
“Will you? Will you please?”
“Of course,” she said.
And Alina would have gone, but during the night, Joey began running a fever and vomiting. He was coughing and throwing up so much that Trevor was concerned that the illness might be contagious, so he agreed to pay for a doctor.
Alina called Ugo. She had to call the brothel. He had given her the number when Christina had first gotten sick. It was late that night, but one of the women answered and called Ugo to the phone.