“Alina?” he asked.
“Joey is sick now too,” she said. “A doctor is on the way.”
“Oh God, that’s terrible. Christina is getting worse. She can’t breathe. I sent for the doctor again.”
“I am sorry, Ugo. I can’t come in the morning. I can’t take Joey to Maria’s in this condition.”
“I understand.”
“I’ll stay in touch,” Alina said.
Neither Alina nor Ugo wanted to voice their fears, so they both stayed at home with their children, and each in their own way prayed that this was not the dreaded disease that they feared, polio.
Chapter 56
Lotti
A day didn’t go by that Lotti didn’t think of Lev. She missed her true love, and all of her friends. The other women in the building where she lived were kind but distant towards her. During the day she worked and that kept her busy. But when night came she was alone and terribly lonely in the small apartment she’d once shared with Lev. When she’d first started her job she had tried to make friends, but rumors had circulated about her marriage to a Jewish man, and it caused the others to keep their distance. Every day Lotti brought her lunch to work and sat alone at the end of the long table in the lunch room. She was only thirty-six, but she felt much older. Perhaps it was the loneliness that made her feel so old and tired. Perhaps it was that she had resigned herself to the fact that she would never love again. But when she felt exceptionally lost she talked to Lev in her mind, and sometimes she could even hear his voice in her head. During the long winter nights, she would recall some of her fondest memories, the times when she and Alina had worked at the orphanage together. How wonderful it had been to spend the day working with her best friend then coming home to Lev’s warm arms at night. Now, here she was, alone, a woman of pure German blood but hated by her own kind. And yet, if Germany lost the war, things would be even worse for her. Because if the Russians came into Berlin, she would be treated as a Nazi. No one would believe her that she had been against the Nazis from the beginning. All they would see was a German woman. And from what she’d heard, the Russians were just itching to get into Germany. They wanted to punish the women for the loved ones they’d lost during the war. People were speaking in whispers everywhere. They were saying that Germany was not doing well. Well, Lotti would be glad to see the Nazis destroyed, but she also knew that she would go down with them. No matter what she said or did she was doomed either way. Damned Hitler and the Nazi Party. They had destroyed her life and taken everything she loved.
Then at the end of February of 1945, a young girl came to work at the hotel where Lotti worked. She was a little pixie of a girl and her name was Bernadette. Bernadette couldn’t have been more than seventeen, and in some ways she reminded Lotti of Alina. Bernadette kept to herself. Lotti noticed that she sat alone at when she took her meals and didn’t seem interested in joining the group of young girls who met every day at lunch time and giggled together at the other end of the table. Instead Bernadette just ate quietly and spoke to no one. This intrigued Lotti, and at this point in her life very little intrigued her. One afternoon Lotti saw Bernadette sitting alone and decided to walk over and introduce herself.
The worst that could happen would be Bernadette would ask her to leave. And Lotti had heard that before from plenty of other women.
“Hello, I’m Lotti Strombeck. I work on the phones. Can I join you?”
“Sure, I’m Bernadette Schmidt.”
Lotti sat down. “I work on the switchboard.”
“I am in housekeeping. I clean the rooms, the toilets too. It’s a job, you know?” Bernadette said; her voice was bitter.
“Yes. I understand.”
“It’s sometimes a filthy job. But at least I have a little bit of money coming in.” Bernadette smiled wryly.
“We have a position open on the switchboard. It opened last week. One of the older ladies passed away. Would you like me to ask if they would consider hiring you?”
“Would you? I would love that. I would love to work on the phones instead of cleaning up other people’s messes.”
“Of course. I’ll ask Mr. Mueller today right after lunch.”
“It would be a lot easier than my present job, that’s for sure.”
Lotti did as she promised and Mr. Mueller agreed to set up an interview for Bernadette for the following morning.
Bernadette came in looking like a delicate flower. She wore a white blouse and navy skirt. She and Mueller were in his office for a quarter of an hour before Bernadette came out smiling. She walked over to Lotti and whispered, “Thank you so much. He hired me! I start on Monday.”
Bernadette and Lotti became fast friends. To other people Bernadette was not friendly, in fact she hardly spoke. She answered when someone asked her a question, but for the most part, she kept her head down and did her work.
Two weeks later Lotti invited Bernadette to come over for dinner. Bernadette was glad to accept the invitation. It was a Friday evening and Lotti stopped on her way home to pick up a sweet roll from the bakery. A rare treat, something she would never have purchased for herself. But she was looking forward to having company and it seemed fitting to celebrate Bernadette’s new job. Then she raced back to her apartment to prepare dinner. Bernadette arrived on time with a thick rye bread that she’d purchased on her way over from the bakery on the corner.
“I’m so glad you came,” Lotti said as she ushered her new friend into the apartment.
They had a simple dinner of soup and a thick piece of the bread that Bernadette had brought. Then Lotti took out the sweet roll and cut it in half, giving her guest the larger piece.
“So, the women at the hotel talk, as you know,” Bernadette said. “I have heard that you were married to a Jew.”
“Yes, it’s true,” Lotti said. “I loved him very much.”
“Where is he now? In a camp?” Bernadette asked.
“No, he’s dead. I miss him every day,” Lotti said, looking at the floor. She had not spoken openly about Lev since she’d seen Taavi, and talking with this girl was bringing back so many memories. “Does it bother you?” Lotti cleared her throat.
“Does what bother me?” Bernadette asked.
“That my husband was Jewish?”
“I don’t care. I have nothing against Jews. That’s Hitler’s war, not mine. I have enough trouble just trying to survive, you know?”
“Yes, I do know. I feel the same way. But of course, you realize that befriending me might cost you the friendship of the other workers at the hotel. I’m an outcast.”
“So what. I don’t need their fake friendship. They sit and talk like they are best friends and as soon as one of them leaves the room they gossip about her as if she were their worst enemy. Who needs a friend like that? Not me, surely.”
Lotti nodded. This was a strange young woman. She had a beautiful young face, but her eyes were deep and dark, as if she’d seen more than her fair share of tragedy. But Lotti would not ask questions. She would listen.
“You can call me Berni.”
“Alright, Berni it is. Do you live near here?”
“I share an apartment with several women about four blocks north of here. It’s very crowded and I hate it. But my parents threw me out and I needed a place to live.”
Lotti didn’t want to pry, but the conversation was lagging She had to think of something to ask. “So, do you have a boyfriend?”
“Me, no. I have no interest in getting involved with anyone, not now … not ever.”
Not now, not ever? Lotti thought. Berni was so young to be so jaded. What had happened to this poor child?
They sat quietly and nibbled on the coveted sweet roll.
“So, you were married. You want to talk about it?”
“Well,” Lotti said, . “My husband, Lev, was my best friend. I loved him very much. But my parents rejected him. They threw me out too. I understand how hard it can be to get along with family.”
“You can?
??t know what I have been through. No one could understand,” Berni said, her eyes hard as glass.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“That’s all right then. You don’t have to discuss anything. We can just sit here and enjoy our time together,” Lotti said.
Berni nodded. Lotti saw that Berni’s eyes were no longer hard. They’d softened into a deep well of sadness. Lotti wished she could help in some way.
The evening was awkward and Lotti was convinced that the friendship between her and Berni would fade away. It didn’t. There was little talk between them. Berni was quiet and withdrawn, but she did kind things for Lotti, things Lotti hardly expected. When Berni brought food to work, she offered to share with Lotti. They sat together when they ate lunch. And even though the conversation was minimal, a bond was forming between them, and for the first time in a long time, Lotti felt she had found a friend.
They had more dinners together at Lotti’s apartment and occasional walks through the park and the Berlin zoo when they had the same days off. One afternoon as they were walking through the zoo, Berni stopped and held on to the fence. Her knuckles were white and her face was cramped in pain.
“What is it?” Lotti asked.
“Nothing, I’m fine.” Berni shook her head and began to walk again. Then she collapsed on the ground and Lotti saw a thin line of blood running down Berni’s thigh.
“Oh my God … help me, someone help me. This girl needs medical attention.”
Chapter 57
Alina
The doctor diagnosed Joey with polio. If Trevor had not been afraid of catching Joey’s illness, he would have never paid for a doctor. When Joey first showed signs of being ill, Alina and Trevor fought because he didn’t want to pay for the doctor to make a house call. Trevor had raised his voice and Joey whimpered. He stood in front of the door to Joey’s room insisting that if Alina just let the boy sleep he would be fine. A chill ran up her spine and Alina came to believe that Trevor wanted Joey to die. She glared at Trevor and looked deeply into his eyes. She knew she had to leave him. As soon as Joey was well enough, they would go. She had no idea where or how, but she would take the money she’d been hiding and run. “I’m telling you, Alina, you baby this child far too much. Leave him alone. Sicknesses make a child stronger. Your constant catering to him is making him weak,” Trevor said.
“He might be contagious, Trevor. You could catch this. You are not a young man. It might kill you,” Alina said, knowing that would scare Trevor.
Once she lit that fire in Trevor’s brain she saw his expression change. He was afraid for himself.
“Call for the doctor,” he said, and stomped out of the room.
“Give me the money,” she said. She could have used the money she stole from Trevor and she was planning to, but if she could get it from Trevor, well, why not?
Trevor went into his room and came back with a wad of bills. Alina grabbed it from his hand.
Then she scooped her son up into her arms and ran two blocks to the doctor’s office. Joey was burning up with fever. It was raining. The rain was pouring down in sheets. Alina’s hair fell drenched into her eyes, but she still kept going. She didn’t think she was strong enough to carry Joey like that. In fact, she’d never been able to do it in the past. But somehow, this time, she didn’t feel his weight. Instead this time all she felt was the urgency to get her only child the help he needed to survive. The doctor examined him and sent them home. “Polio,” he said. It was a hard go at first. The doctor could do nothing for Joey. Alina sat at his bedside wiping the sweat from his brow while bargaining and pleading with God for his life. She locked the door and did not eat or sleep. When Trevor knocked and had the nerve to ask if the doctor told Alina whether Joey was contagious, she told Trevor to go away. Finally after three days of walking on a tightrope between life and death, Joey slowly began to recover. His fever broke, and he was breathing more easily. Joey got well, but not completely. The disease had left him with some damage to the right side of his body. His arm hung limp and his little legs were slightly twisted. But he would live.
It was several weeks before Alina returned to her English class. She had not called Ugo and he had not called her. Two weeks after Alina returned to class, Ugo showed up at the classroom. It was then that Alina learned that Ugo’s daughter had polio too, but she had not been as fortunate as Joey. Ugo’s daughter died. When Alina heard the news she felt sick to her stomach.
“I’m so sorry, Ugo.” Alina touched his arm, but Ugo looked away. He couldn’t meet her eyes. She knew it was because he hated to show pain and weakness.
“Thank you,” he said, clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders.
For several minutes there was an awkward silence.
“Joey had polio. He made it through. I mean, he is alive, but … it crippled him,” Alina said. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d brought the polio germs home to Joey after she’d gone to see Christina with Ugo. Dear God, her son, her only child. He could easily have died. She felt guilty for thinking of herself and Joey while poor, dear Ugo was in so much pain. He was her best friend and she couldn’t find the right words to say to help him get through this tragedy. If it had been Joey who died, she would be beyond despair right now. In fact, she wasn’t sure she would have ever been able to recover. It’s hard to say what one will do when confronted with such tremendous loss. She thought Again she glanced at Ugo. He still was not looking at her. She longed to take him in her arms and comfort him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. Alina was at a loss. She just stood across from him and shook her head, as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Ugo had not been able to spend much time with his young daughter before he’d lost her forever. It was frightening for Alina to think of how fleeting life could be, especially when it came to children, to Joey. There was no known treatment for polio. It was all a matter of luck, Alina thought. Some lived, some died. And when she was at home and she looked at Joey’s deformed little body, her heart would moan in desperation, because although she was filled with the deepest gratitude that he was alive, she couldn’t help but worry about how hard his life would be as a cripple.
Ugo pretended to be strong, but Alina saw the pain in his eyes. She could do nothing for him. And then they began meeting on the corner again and walking to class together. They never talked about Christina. Instead he attended class and quietly pushed through his sadness.
Maria and Alina had not met at the park for a couple of weeks, but once Joey recovered, she went to Maria’s house to explain why she hadn’t been around.
“Joey was too sick to come over here, and I didn’t want to expose your children to the disease, either,” Alina said.
Maria understood. She crossed herself and said a prayer.
“I am worried about Joey. How will he get through life? What kind of work can he do?” Alina said. “His body is so mangled.”
Maria was silent for a moment. Somewhere a crow cawed. Then Maria cleared her throat and took Alina’s hand. “President Roosevelt had polio and it didn’t stop him in life,” Maria said. “He is a great man and he is the president of the greatest country in the world, yes?”
“Yes…” Alina answered. But Roosevelt was one in a million. How would little Joey Powell get by? Joey had Trevor’s name, but that was all he had and all she wanted from his stepfather. Alina was the only one who loved that little boy. And now, with Joey being crippled, she would have to try even harder to make sure that he had plenty of money, because he would need to get a good education. He would never be capable of manual labor. His body couldn’t withstand it. She looked into the buggy where Joey had fallen asleep, and she knew that she would do anything for her son, anything at all.
Chapter 58
Alina
Alina was ready to leave Trevor. She packed what personal possessions she was able to take and moved in with Maria. She left Trevor a note, but was afraid to confront him. He had proven he could be v
iolent, and she didn’t know how he would react to her leaving. It was Maria’s suggestion that Alina bring Joey and stay with her. Maria told her that she and Joey were welcome to stay as long as they liked. But the apartment was crowded and Alina needed to find a job and a place of her own. Maria had offered to watch Joey while Alina worked. Maria even insisted that she didn’t want to be paid for babysitting. Alina was uncomfortable taking so much from her friend. After all, she was living with Maria’s family rent free. This couldn’t go on. Alina was desperate to earn money. Every day she went out looking for work, any kind of work. She found nothing. If she took an apartment and went through her savings, she would be in trouble. She had to find a way to earn a living.
Ugo was there for Alina. He was supportive in any way she would allow him to be. He offered to help her move the rest of her things, but she didn’t want to go back to the house and see Trevor. Thus far, Trevor had not found her. But, she knew Trevor would be angry, and if she brought Ugo with her, there was bound to be a fight. Because Trevor had so many friends in the police department, he could probably shoot Ugo and Alina and get away without being arrested. Then what would become of Joey? The material things she had to leave behind were not worth the price she might pay for going back and trying to take them. As time went on it was obvious to Alina how much Ugo cared about her, because he did wonderful, kind things like bringing a whole bag of groceries to Maria’s house when he got paid. He spent money on small toys for Joey.
He was so sweet and a part of her hungered for the touch of a lover, but she knew it would complicate her already complicated life far too much. However, once in a while, his hand would brush hers, or she’d smell the clean fragrance of his freshly washed hair and desire would send a little shiver through her. Desire? She’d never felt this way about any man before, not poor Benny, not Johan, dear sweet Johan, and certainly not Trevor.