Breathless, I stagger backwards, my breath hiccupping out of my body. Not looking, I trip over a stone but manage to catch myself. “You…lie.” My voice is deep and guttural, a feral warning.
Then the air shifts, blurring his face until I see Lev standing before me, his white wings unfurled behind him. His ocean eyes peer at me, the blue deeper from the pooling tears. “And I am sorry.”
“You bastard!” I fly at him again. This time, my palms have curled into fists, and with my eyes open, I strike out at him, remembering the day he “died” and every day since with so much clarity I can’t breathe.
I’m shaking hard and crying and hitting him as he tries to grab me and entangle my body in his arms. But I won’t let him. I won’t. I don’t want him touching me.
“Get away!” I scream, jerking backwards.
“Stop fighting me,” he pleads. “I need to talk to you.”
I jerk free. “No. You deceived me. You let me believe you were dead. And now, suddenly I’m supposed to jump for joy because you’ve come back dressed like some cocky cop who wanted to look out for me?” I step back, blinded by tears. “Go to hell.” I start to walk away.
“Elizabeth, you’re in danger. I can explain.” I whirl around. “I don’t give a damn, Lev. About anything. Don’t try to protect me, and don’t come near me. I never want to see you again.”
I run then—not to my Jeep but to the woods beyond the cemetery, hoping I’ll get so lost I won’t be able to find myself again. It’s dark and the trees seem to thicken around me. My steps are erratic because of the uneven ground and I can’t see anything. My foot tangles in the undergrowth and I fall, my head hitting something harder than itself.
Chapter Thirteen
My head swims as I sit up, trying to orient myself in the darkness. My vision is blurry, and I probe my forehead, wincing. I’m dizzy, but I need to get up and get a move on. The last thing I need to happen is for Lev to find me like this. I’ve been saved often enough for a lifetime. Still, it takes me longer than it should to get up.
From behind me, I hear the thud of footsteps in the grass, telling me I’m not alone. I force myself to rise and feign feeling nothing, even though my head pounds viciously. Taking a deep breath, I grit my teeth.
“I said to leave me alone, Lev. And I meant it.” Yet when I whirl, it’s not Lev standing there. In fact, with my blurry vision and tears, the only thing I can tell is that it’s a woman.
“Lizzie? What are you doing out here?”
I blink until my vision clears enough for me to recognize Sarah. She wears a black tank top which ends just above her navel, and her black jeans appear as a second layer of skin. Her long blonde hair falls in waves around her shoulders, the moonlight glistening off it.
Not sure I want to talk to anybody, I start to back away, but that’s when the world tilts, and I fall, my vision swirling once again unpredictably around me. I can’t seem to make it stop.
“Lizzie?” She steps closer, but I pretend I can’t hear her, hoping she’ll give me a few moments to collect myself so I can slip away. That’s not going to happen, I realize, as I hear her talking into a cell phone. My head is swimming, so the words blur together. And the longer I lie there, the more I feel like I want to sleep, which is probably not a good idea. Then again, there is no Lev in blackness. I don’t have to think about all the stuff I can’t change and how none of it makes any sense. So I let my eyes close.
It seems like only moments later I feel hands touching my face and a guy calling my name. At first, I start to panic, thinking Lev has found me, but Lev is dead. Still, something feels wrong with that; my head hurts and my thoughts are scattered.
“Lizzie, can you hear me?” He sounds concerned, and I know that voice. I just can’t place it.
“Go away. My head hurts.”
“Yeah, well, that’s why you need to wake up. You’ve probably got a concussion and shouldn’t be sleeping.”
I’ve just about written that voice off as part of my imagination and drifted back to sleep when hands begin jostling me, which only adds to the misery in my temples.
“Lizzie, wake up. Come on.” The voice is too loud to ignore, and despite the pain, I force my eyelids open and blink until my vision comes back into focus. The voice belongs to Kane, and judging by the frown on his face, he’s plenty worried.
“Damn. Good to see those eyes. Let’s get you up off the ground and away from all the creepy crawlies, okay?”
If the world weren’t spinning like some crazy amusement-park Tilt-a-Whirl, I’d tell him I could stand on my own, but I can’t. Not yet. And the last thing I need is to fall and hit my head again. Kane’s not really taking any chances as he sweeps me into his arms and slowly carries me from the trees. He’s blurry, and I close my eyes, sickened by how out of focus everything seems.
“You need to stay awake,” he reminds me, his gaze fixed straight ahead, minding where he walks.
Instead of answering, I try not to think about the swaying motion of his stride that only seems to add to the uneasiness of my stomach.
“Lizzie?” Kane asks, pausing to look down at me. “Not sleeping, are you?”
“No, sir,” I whisper. “Not sleeping.”
“Good. Do you want me to call your family before we go to the hospital? It’s a long drive.”
“No! You can’t!” That about shakes me out of his arms, and I struggle, hoping maybe he’ll put me down. I’m not sure what I’m expecting after that, but I can’t go to the hospital. And he can’t call Jimmie or Griffin, either.
“Lizzie, you’ve got to calm down.” His grip around my body tightens, and I know he’s not going to release me, no matter how hard I fight. “You’ve got a lump on your head, and we really need to take you to a doctor and get you checked out.”
“You don’t understand. I can’t. I just had a fight with my guardian, and right now I don’t want to see him. I’ll be okay. Honest.” I try to squirm out of his arms, but his hands are cinched tightly, and I’m figuring it would take a small miracle for me to break free. “Please,” I whisper, feeling myself tearing up.
“You’re right. I don’t understand.” His fingers gently ease up, not that he’s releasing me or anything, but I can tell he’s unsure what to do. “But you must have hit your head pretty hard, and that’s dangerous.” He keeps scrutinizing me, looking for signs my head is going to fall off or something.
“Look. Things are really rough at home. I’m not kidding, and if I go to the hospital, they’ll call Jimmie. I can’t face him.” I know my eyes are begging him, and I hate feeling that way, but I don’t have a choice. I can’t do this.
Gritting his teeth, he slowly puts me on my feet. “Let’s check for bleeding first, and then we’ll see how you walk.” He pulls a flashlight out of his pocket and nods to me. “Where did you hit your head?”
My fingers probe my scalp until they skim over a sensitive raised area. “Ouch. Here.” For the first time, I realize Sarah stands wordlessly beside him. It seems that without Jayzee, she really is quiet.
Nodding, he slips the back end of the flashlight into his mouth, parts my hair, and looks at the area. A moment later, he pats my hair back into place.
“Well?”
“No blood.” He shakes his head like he’s already regretting something. “All right, start walking.”
I’m so eager to get his approval, saving me from seeing Jimmie I start walking so quickly I almost trip over a tree root winding out from the ground. Kane must be expecting this because quicker than I can brace myself, his fingers grip my arm and steady my balance.
“Not so good on the walking part, though,” he mutters, shaking his head.
“I did that sort of thing before I hit my head, so you can’t hold that against me,” I lament, knowing just how clumsy I really am.
At the edge of the woods, I stop, suddenly wondering whether Lev is still going to be out there. My whole body tenses, and that insane hurt rips through me again, almost sending
me running back the other way. Pretty much the only thing keeping me in place is Kane’s hand, still wrapped around my arm. It seems the boy knows me far too well.
“Something the matter? Does your head hurt?”
His voice is rising from the calm toward a sense of near panic.
The cemetery is empty, thank God. “No,” I say. “I’m fine.”
We continue walking, and part of me should be flattered that Kane is still holding my arm, worrying over me, but I’m not. There’s so much hollowness inside, and I can’t shake it. Still, I can’t take his fingers against my skin. It makes me feel vulnerable; people touching me does that. It’s like I can bury my emotions only so far, and if someone strokes my arm, that’s it. I fall apart.
“You don’t have to keep holding onto me. I’m not going to fall.” Just ahead, I see two vehicles, mine and Kane’s, in the otherwise empty lot.
“Sure about that?” Kane asks but releases his hold anyway.
“You didn’t drive?” I ask Sarah, puzzled.
“Nope.” She shakes her head. “I don’t have a car.”
Together we trudge carefully around the stones, heading for the lot. In the moonlight, Sarah’s hair looks like Lev’s, reminding me of everything I’m trying so hard to suppress. Even though Kane isn’t holding onto me, that doesn’t mean he isn’t hovering, and that hovering goes on until we get to my Jeep and I unlock the door.
“So now what happens, Lizzie? You don’t want to see Jimmie, so I’m doubting you’re going home. You can’t exactly stay in a cemetery, and Sarah’s aunt gets drunk more often than not. So where are you headed?”
Truthfully, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I fish my phone out of my pocket and realize it’s 10:30. There’re no missed calls, so the anger must be holding on Jimmie’s side, too. Suddenly I’m thinking the cemetery is looking better and better all the time.
“I don’t know,” I finally manage, folding my arms across my chest; the night breeze, which should be warmer, feels a little cold right now. “I’d thought about staying here.”
“Like hell,” he mutters. “You could have head trauma, and the last thing you’re doing is staying out here.”
I open my door. “It’s not like I have a whole lot of options, Kane. I can’t go home.” I slip behind the wheel.
“You can stay at my house. My dad’s gone for the week.”
I shake my head. “Thanks but no thanks,” I say, well aware of how much trouble that could lead to.
“This is a hands-off zone, Lizzie.” He shakes his head. “I know I’m teenage and male, but I can control myself. I just want to make sure you wake up in the morning. That’s it.”
My head is throbbing nicely now, and I just want to get somewhere I can settle in, at least for a little while. I’ve had enough of trees and stuff.
“Lizzie? What do you say?”
I finally nod, knowing I don’t have many choices. “Sure.”
“Good.” He plucks the keys from my hand and gently tugs me out of the Jeep. He gives my keys to Sarah.
“What’re you doing?”
“Not letting you drive.” I start to argue, but he holds up his hands. “Look, maybe you are fine. But just in case you’re not, you don’t really need to be behind the wheel, okay? Sarah will follow us to my place. She only lives down the street anyway”
Nodding, I reluctantly agree. The way my head is hurting probably means I shouldn’t drive, so I wait for him to open the passenger door. As Sarah gets into the Jeep, I ask, “You do know how to drive a standard, right?”
“Yeah.” She starts the engine as Kane walks to the driver’s side and gets in. A moment later, he slips his hand behind my seat and turns to back up. A moment later, we pull away from the cemetery.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask, leaning back against the headrest.
“Lizzie, not all guys are jerks. I don’t know what’s going on at home, and it’s really not my place to get in the middle of it, but I don’t think you’re planning to go home tonight. That said, I’m just giving you a place to stay to get your thoughts together.” He pauses for a moment. “And don’t go to sleep over there, or I will take you to the hospital.”
“Okay.” That snaps my eyes open, and despite my fatigue and headache, I watch the landscape blur into houses as we turn into Kane’s housing addition.
I immediately notice Kane comes from more money than I first realized as I see the stately two-story white structure ahead that reminds me of some of the mansions I’ve seen in New Orleans. Granted, it’s not as big, but the place pretty much screams money. The driveway and walk are lined with small lights, and a golden light fixture on the porch illuminates the regal front door.
“This is quite a house,” I finally manage as we pull into the driveway.
“Yeah, well, there’s only so much you can say about walls and furniture.” He opens his door, and I get out as well, suddenly nervous about getting out of the SUV. Unsure about actually heading up the walkway, I sort of hang back, my hand touching the door I just close more for reassurance than balance.
Sarah pulls in behind, gets out, and hands me the keys. “You might need these.” She starts down the driveway.
“You gonna be okay?” Kane calls after while sorting through his keys to find the one for the door.
“I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.”
He starts up the walkway but turns and comes for me. “You all right? Do we need to go to the hospital, after all?”
Once I see him reaching for me, I pull away from the vehicle. “It’s just been a long night. I’ll be fine.”
“Then let’s get you inside.” He nods toward the porch and together we head toward the house. The throbbing is a little more persistent, and I rub my temples, trying to ease the ache.
Sensing what is about to come, I beat him to the punch. “I’m all right. Promise. This isn’t anything that a couple of Tylenol won’t take care of.”
“Fair enough,” he responds and opens the front door. A second later, he flips on the light and gestures for me to follow him inside. I comply, awe-struck by the ornate entryway. Marble floors. A beautiful chandelier. Wow.
“It’s just a house, Lizzie,” he mutters and keeps going, forcing me to follow him to a staircase, adorned by a rich mahogany handrail. Various pictures of Kane and his family line the wall, giving me something to look at as we head up. Strangely, there are no photos of his mother I can see.
At the top of the stairs, I see a long hallway, and Kane leads me midway down before stopping in front of a closed door he quickly opens, reaching for the light switch. Once the bulbs flicker to life, I see a large bedroom with a canopy bed surrounded by mosquito netting. It’s a beautiful room, something not quite expected for two guys baching it out together.
“This is the extra bedroom. There’s an adjoining bathroom for you, stocked with whatever you might need.” He nods down the hall. “My room is the next one, so I won’t be far. I’ll bring you some sweats you can borrow for tonight.”
And then he turns away, leaving me to this room where I feel strange and vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong—the room is gorgeous, and I’ve been waiting for some place quiet—but this all feels so…alien. Everything is so topsy-turvey, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to process things, not with this aching head. Panic rises inside, and I walk to the bed and sit, unable to believe any of this is happening. If anyone had asked if I believed it were possible Jimmie would shift this way, I would have told him never. Jimmie might have been out of touch and way overprotective, but he was always there in my life, doing the best he could—until now. Griffin was supposed to be my best friend. And Lev? Nothing lasts forever, right?
I start shaking, and part of me that has nothing to do with hitting my head hurts from the isolation I can’t begin to shake. My whole body starts trembling, and I feel the rush of heated emotions taking over me. No matter how fast I blink, I can’t push back the tears. They pool in my eyes, the moisture growing until i
t flows down my face in silent rivers.
“I brought.…” Kane enters, clothes in hand, but his voice abruptly dies as he sees my face. His steps quicken and he strides to the bed and sits beside me.
“Hey, what’s going on?” His voice is soft, and he looks at me with eyes that want to understand. I’m expecting him to ask about my stupid head, but he seems to realize what’s happening has nothing to do with the fall I took. It’s all a part of something else which might, in its own way, hurt worse than a bump on the head. At least that wound is transient.
“It’s nothing,” I manage, my voice trembling with my body as I drag my hand across my face, interrupting the flow of tears.
“Like hell,” he whispers, reaching for my hand. “I’d know that look anywhere. You must be starved, right? I’ve been a bad host and all that.” He offers a crooked smile that tells me he knows I’m hurting. But he also knows I’m not ready to talk.
“Oh, definitely. I always do…this…when I haven’t eaten.” I try to put a lightness in my voice I don’t feel, but it’s empty.
“Well, woman, let’s hit the kitchen and see what we can find to ward away the gloom and doom, shall we?” He stands and reaches for my hand. My heart pauses for seconds as I panic at the thought of taking it, remembering how Lev and I seemed so eternal. Yeah, I think, that eternity came to a screeching halt, didn’t it?
“You can relax,” Kane says, offering a smile. “I don’t bite, and I’m not expecting anything. I keep telling you that, but I’m guessing there’s a bit of history I’m not privy to.” He lowers his hand and nods for me to follow.
“Yeah,” I manage. “There is a bit of history there. And I’d just as soon leave it behind.”
As I follow, I realize the aura that hangs around his back has returned, reminding me of Lev regardless of whether I want to be reminded or not.
“Consider it left,” he says. We walk into the kitchen, and he motions for me to plunk down at the table in the adjoining dining room while he sorts through the refrigerator. A couple of minutes later he returns with a plate of sandwiches and a can of soda, both of which he sets in front of me. “It’s nothing fancy, but it’ll take the edge off.” He sits next to me.