“I haven’t said yes yet.”
24
Kellin
Day Twelve
Back into the mountains—this time in Tennessee—hiking. Every time Misty’s hand brushes mine, I have to stop myself from grabbing hold of it. I’ve had a lot of moments like this. A lot of foreign reactions and weird thoughts.
Like “accidentally” losing her sleeping bag so she’ll be forced to share with me again.
Or “unintentionally” dropping her cell phone into a large body of water just so I don’t have to watch her texting, wondering whether or not she’s talking to him.
Or, my latest idea, “mistakenly” pumping diesel into Roh’s truck instead of gas so I’ll have a few more days with her.
It doesn’t stop there. When she smiles, I find myself wanting to lean in and kiss her again. The same goes for each time she talks, or eats, or does anything that involves her mouth.
Every time she touches me, I want to pull her close and wrap my arms around her.
I’m constantly fighting against all of my instincts.
And in the back of my head, there’s a clock silently ticking down at all times.
“The clouds are really dark over there,” Sadie points out. “Are we going to make it back to camp?”
Roh looks up, assessing the cloud situation. “Probably not,” he replies. “Nice choice on the white tank top.”
“Okay,” Misty announces. “I need to know. Why did you say you were gay when you’re clearly not?”
Roh grins at her, unabashed. “Do you really want to know the answer to that?”
“YES,” both Misty and Sadie say in unison.
“Well I can’t tell you yet.”
Misty pauses, shooting Roh a suspicious glare. “Why not?”
“It’s not time yet.” He says it with finality, refusing to budge.
“But you do admit you’re not gay?” Sadie clarifies.
“I’m not gay,” he agrees. “I love women. Deeply.” He smiles at her wickedly, making sure she understands his innuendo. Evidently she does, mirroring his smirk with eerie accuracy.
I press into Misty’s side, pushing her slightly off course. “Come on,” I whisper close to her ear. My fingers wrap around hers and I pick up the pace, pulling her along with me. “Let’s give them some space. All their overt sexual overtones are not pretty to watch.”
“I know,” Misty agrees, easily keeping pace with me. “I wish they’d just do it and get it over with.”
My brows shoot up, my eyes sliding over to her. Her cheeks are pink. I can’t tell if it’s from our quick pace or embarrassment over her statement. She glances my way, our gazes locking, and I wonder if her heated skin has nothing to do with either.
Thunder booms and echoes overhead. I can feel it vibrate through the ground. The scent of rain fills the air and I know we aren’t going to make it to the shelter of the tent.
I guide her under the low hanging limbs of a tree, pushing her close to the trunk just as the downpour begins.
Misty’s eyes close, her eyelashes resting on her still flushed cheeks. Her chest rises as she inhales a deep breath, releasing it slowly through her lips. “I love that smell,” she breathes.
A drop of water hits her forehead, followed by another and another. They run down her face, dripping from her nose. She smiles, looking upward as several more hit her face. I take the cap off my head, placing it on hers.
As the rain makes its way through the leaves, pelting me in the face, I can’t move. I can’t stop staring at her. She looks sweet as hell in my hat. I want to slip under the cover of the rim and reenact the kiss we shared the other night.
I rest my hand on the tree beside her shoulder, leaning closer. She shivers as goose bumps trail down her arms. Her eyes are hidden under the hat, but I watch her lips part. I hear her breath hitch.
“What are you guys doing? Come on,” Sadie yells. I jump, startled by her intrusive voice. She waves, gesturing for us to hurry. “It’s getting bad.”
She has no idea how true that statement is.
25
Misty
Day Fifteen
It’s the day we go back to reality.
The realization hits with sickening force.
I’ll still have the remainder of the summer left with Kellin but it won’t be the same. We’ll both be working. He’ll be at his place. I’ll be at Hope and Mason’s. It’s just not the same.
I didn’t know how much I missed him until this trip.
I slip out of the tent, careful not to wake Sadie, and find Kellin lounging in his chair. His posture is relaxed, but the expression on his face is anything but peaceful.
“Morning,” I whisper as I tiptoe through the damp, cool grass toward him.
He doesn’t return the greeting, instead, “I was thinking…Roh and I have an attic.” He sits forward, resting his arms on his knees. His shirt pulls tightly across his back and shoulders in this position, drawing my attention. “It’s not much,” he continues, unaware of my inspection. “But there’s a mattress up there and storage for your stuff.”
He finally looks up at me, his eyes studying my face. “You could stay with us. The mattress isn’t the best, but it has to be more comfortable than a couch. And there’s a hell of a lot more privacy than my brother’s living room.”
“You want me to move in with you guys?” I clarify, shocked.
Kellin’s gaze is penetrating. He nods tightly. “Come stay with us for the rest of the summer. We’re fun, we’re pretty good about not keeping the toilet seat up, and we’re fucking awesome. Also, sexy.”
I laugh, but it dies off quickly as I let the scenario run through my head. I wouldn’t have to say goodbye yet. I could still have him for two more months.
“Is Roh okay with this? Did you already discuss it with him?”
“No, not really. But trust me, he’ll be good with it.”
“I don’t clean,” I say. “At least not well. I don’t really cook, either. And I like to sleep late. I’m a terrible roommate.”
He grins at me, his dimples denting his rough cheeks. My tummy does a little flip. I wonder if he has any idea just how beautiful he is. Those damn green eyes and gorgeous smile get me every time.
“I lied about the toilet seat thing, so it’s okay. We’re pretty shitty roommates too.”
~*~
After everyone was dressed and fed, we packed everything up and took one last hike before heading out. Even though I knew it was the last, I wasn’t dejected like I was when I woke up. I noticed Kellin’s mood seemed to lift after our conversation this morning as well.
I don’t know how I should feel about that.
But I know right now, in this moment, I’m happy.
Roh pulls into Sadie’s parking lot, cutting the engine. But he doesn’t move to let her out of the truck.
“It was really nice getting to look at you these past two weeks,” he says peering at Sadie in the rearview mirror. He offers her one of his mischievous grins, giving his lip ring a little flick with his tongue. “I also liked getting to know your brain.”
“Right back at you.”
“And I’m really sorry about Duke,” he says as he opens the door. He pulls the seat forward, making room for Sadie to step out.
“Who?” She glances at me for help, but I’m as clueless as she is. Until Roh shoots me a confused look.
“Your dog? Duke?” His nose crinkles and he tips his head to the side. “You didn’t have a dog named Duke, did you?”
She presses her lips together, shaking her head. “Um, no. I was bitten when I was three. Been a cat person ever since.”
“Wow,” Roh breathes. He rests his arm on Sadie’s shoulder as he peers into the truck at me. “I expected more from you.”
Ignoring him, I scoot across the seat and hop out to hug Sadie goodbye. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, bitch.” She tugs me closer, holding me tighter, and whispers into my ear. ??
?Don’t forget you’re supposed to have fun this summer. Take a chance. Take lots of chances. And get laid. Get lots of laid. Follow your heart—and your vagina. Neither will ever steer you wrong.”
“That sounds like sound advice,” I tease.
“I’m so serious, Misty. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by or one day you’ll wake up and regret it.”
26
Kellin
“What the hell, Kel?” Mason sighs heavily into the phone after I explain Misty’s new living arrangements. “Hope is going to be pissed. Why do you do this to me?”
“I have to try. I can’t stand by and let her go marry that asshole without at least knowing.”
He expels a loud, harsh breath and I know he’s losing his patience. “He’s not an asshole. He’s a really nice guy—and he’s her boyfriend. And what do you need to know, exactly?”
“Fifteen days, Mason. It took me fifteen days to fall in love with her again. All I could think about yesterday was bringing her back to your place. I kept imagining that moment when she’d get out of the truck and walk through your door. And how it would make me feel to watch her walk away from me. I knew I loved her when just the thought made my chest ache. It felt like when dad died. I know it’s not the same thing, but—shit—it felt the same. It was that same sense of hopelessness. That same feeling of loss.
“I have to know if she feels the same way. By the end of summer, if she doesn’t love me, then I’ll let her go.”
“You’re so much like Dad,” he murmurs. “I wish you knew.” He’s quiet for several seconds as he considers all angles. “You know, love isn’t a bucket that empties and gets refilled.”
“I’m not following,” I say puzzled.
“You said you fell in love with her again. Love doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t run out and need refilling. It’s like a well. You draw from it. But the supply is endless.”
“I still don’t follow, dude.”
“You said again, jackass. You fell in love with her again. Either you never loved her or you never stopped. Love. Is. A. Well. You fall deeper.”
I close my eyes and let his words sink in. And I feel the truth of them.
“I fell deeper,” I agree.
“Hope has always wanted you two together,” he replies and I can hear the smile in his voice. “She was pissed over the whole incident at the reception. But I know she’ll jump aboard the Kellin train, but she’s not going to be happy about Misty staying with you. No matter how old Misty gets, she’ll always be Hope’s little cousin.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” I promise.
“No. Don’t do that.” He sighs again, this time as if he pities his poor, dumb, baby brother. “You’ll never win her over that way. We Patels were born with special gifts—nice faces, good bodies, dirty minds, and unwavering persistence. Utilize what God gave you.”
“You’re encouraging me to seduce her?”
“Nobody buys what they don’t want. And for the record, I never said the word seduce. You did. I said utilize your natural talent. I want that distinction clear in case this ever comes up with Hope.”
I chuckle. “Got it.”
“Where is she while we’re discussing this?” he asks as an afterthought. “Your place isn’t that big.”
“Shower. A commodity we didn’t see a lot of while camping. She may never come out.”
“Do something nice for her when she does. Make her some hot chocolate or something.”
“I can do that.”
No. Not hot chocolate.
I hurry off the call with my brother and head for the kitchen. I’m really glad we stopped and picked up some basic groceries on the way home. I pull two glasses out of the cabinet and set them both on the table. Then I set out two napkins, two spoons, and the gallon of milk. And then I set a large can of powered Nesquik in the middle.
Roh pads into the kitchen for a bottle of water, eyes my setup on the table, and having heard all about Misty and my code word for sex, shakes his head and walks right back out.
“My mom gave me that table,” he calls over his shoulder. “Try not to break it.”
I feel my eyebrows shoot up. I wasn’t thinking about doing it on the table, but now that he put the thought in my head, I’m intrigued.
No.
I’m not trying to have sex with her. Yet. I’m just trying to remind her of when we were younger. Back when she wanted to be with me.
I hear the squeak of the bathroom door and sit back in my chair casually. Misty walks into the living room, her fingers working her damp hair into a ponytail. My eyes rake over her form, dressed in a pair of pajama shorts and tank top.
Her shirt rises as she loops the band into her hair, and my gaze follows the curves of her hips, trailing up her stomach. She pivots, noticing me in the kitchen, and she smiles.
“Feel better?” I ask.
“Yes,” she breathes, coming toward me. And then her feet stop abruptly, her eyes zeroing in on the contents of the table.
“Thirsty?” I ask. She doesn’t answer, but her eyes flick up from the table, moving over my face. “Would you like some Nesquik?”
Her lips twitch and she continues forward. I watch her movements as she pulls the other chair out and sits across from me. “I haven’t had any in a while,” she says, nonchalantly. One brow arches in challenge, letting me know it’s my move.
“Me neither,” I offer. “And it’s been even longer since I’ve had a cup with someone else.”
“You prefer to enjoy your Nesquik alone?”
“Oh, no. I definitely prefer to share it with someone else. It just hasn’t worked that way in a while. So I’ve been forced to chug it solo.”
A laugh burst through her lips. Her hands curl into loose fists on top of the table. “Chugging Nesquik. That sounds messy.”
I shake my head, filling both glasses with milk. “I usually do all my chugging during my morning showers.”
“Oh, my God. Stop.” She laughs again. “This is too much info.”
I look at her very seriously as I offer her a spoon. “I’m just talking about chocolate milk.”
I pop the lid off the powder, tipping it toward her. She dips her spoon inside, taking a heaping scoop. As she stirs it into her cup, I release a quiet, but obvious moan.
“Oh, yeah,” I utter. “That’s real nice.”
“Stop it.” She tries to sound stern, but her wide smile ruins the effect.
Once both glasses are made, I clink mine with hers, and wait for her to take a drink. She raises the glass to her lips, taking a sip. I do the same.
“Our first time having Nesquik with each other,” I muse.
She grins at me, her eyes bright with amusement. “Was it good for you?”
“The best I’ve ever had.”
27
Misty
I roll onto my back, staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling. A smile forms instantly to my lips as realization makes its way through my groggy brain.
The smell of something delicious hits me, making my stomach growl. Thinking about eating makes me think about the kitchen. And Kellin sitting in the kitchen, waiting on me last night.
And Nesquik.
And thinking about Nesquik reminds me of our many conversations when I was eighteen.
Thinking about those conversations remind me of how much I looked forward to those moments. His texts, his calls.
And how much I loved him.
My phone vibrates somewhere on the bed. I feel around, patting the sheets, trying to locate it. Luke’s face smiles up at me from the illuminated screen. A mix of emotions twists my stomach.
I slide my thumb, answering the call.
“Hello?”
“Good morning,” he says brightly. “Did I wake you?”
I stretch my legs and wiggle my toes beneath the blanket. “No. I was just thinking about getting up. I smell food cooking. What’s up?”
He laughs softly. “I missed your voice. I miss your face too.
Can I come see you?”
“When?” I feel my body temperature rise several degrees as I try to work this out in my head quickly. I haven’t told him I’m staying at Kellin and Roh’s place yet. In fact, I wasn’t sure I would tell him at all. And I wasn’t expecting to see him.
Not that I don’t want to see him.
“Today. I can be there in six hours. I’ll get us a hotel room, stay the night, and take a personal day tomorrow. We can spend the morning together and then I’ll head home in the afternoon.”
I start at Newton’s Pizza tomorrow evening and Kellin goes back to work in the morning. I was looking forward to spending our last little bit of free time together. But I haven’t seen Luke in weeks. Maybe a romantic twenty-four hour getaway with him will ease my confusion and get me back on track.
“Okay,” I agree.
“What’s Hope’s address? I’ll program the GPS right now.”
“I’m not at Hope’s,” I correct him. I bite down on my lip, waiting for him to reply.
“Where are you, Misty? Should I not come out?”
Though the questions alone don’t imply anything, his tone makes it clear what he’s asking me. And it irks me in an overwhelming way. I know I came here to have one last crazy and wild summer. But I didn’t leave home with the intention to have sex. I haven’t had sex with anybody. And I haven’t acted on any of my tangled feelings for Kellin.
I haven’t taken advantage of the way Luke gave me his blessing to be a summer slut in any way.
I’ve done nothing wrong.
I haven’t done anything.
Permission or not, it pisses me off that he thinks I would. That just because he said it was okay to have sex with other people it was automatically okay with me.
At the same time, I know I’ve thought about it. And what do I expect him to think when I willingly packed up and took off as soon as he mentioned it.
Maybe he really wanted me to stay. Maybe he was expecting me to tell him my oats didn’t need any sowing. Maybe this has been really difficult for him, not knowing. Wondering. Waiting. He already wants to see me after only two weeks, and that speaks volumes.