“Yes.”
“Well, how’s that workin’ for ya?”
“Not very well.”
“Not at all. You freakin’ woulda ripped her clothes off today if she’d a let ya.”
“True. Are you trying to help?”
“Think of it this way,” she said, ignoring me. “A two-liter of Dr Pepper.”
“A two-liter of Dr Pepper?”
“Work with me here, Riley. If it’s been shaken and you open it all at once, what happens?”
“It explodes.”
“Exactly. So how do you keep it from exploding?”
I pictured it in my head. For some reason, more than any other soda, Dr Pepper always exploded when you opened it. “Open it a little at a time and let the bubbles out.”
“Yes. Okay now, follow me here; you and Attie are bottles of Dr Pepper. All the time you spend together and the way you feel about each other is shaking your bottle.”
I started laughing at the analogy but caught her glaring at me. “Sorry. Go on.”
“You weren’t opening the bottle and letting any bubbles out, so the pressure kept building to the point that you exploded. You’d never touched her like that before, so when your pressure point was at its max and you touched her, you literally exploded.”
“I see what you’re saying.”
“Trust me; I’m not suggestin’ that you guys mug all over each other all the time. You need to respect some boundaries—lots of boundaries. But dear Lord, there isn’t anything wrong with showing each other a little bit of affection. Let some of the air out of the bottle so ya aren’t so dang explosive. You can be intimate and physical without being sexual. Focus on ways of doing that instead of trying to avoid each other altogether.”
“As weird as it sounds, that makes a lot of sense. I was being respectful of her and my parents. I wanna be there when she needs me at night without her worrying that I’m gonna try to make a move on her.”
“That’s sorta my point, Riley. I can’t imagine many things more intimate than holding someone you care about while they’re hurting. You aren’t gonna be thinking of making out with her in those times. It’s an intimate moment, but it isn’t sexual in nature, and you’ve grown closer through that type of intimacy than you ever could by having sex.”
“True.”
“You two need to sit down and think of ways to be together without ‘being together.’ You know what I mean?”
“Yes.”
“Seriously, Riley, all this ‘we’re not an item’ stuff is driving everyone bonkers. I don’t even think your parents are buying it at this point. They would have to be blind not to see the sparks.”
“We’re that bad?”
“Yes.”
“You know, you’re pretty good at this advice thing, Tammy.”
“You aren’t the only person who’s been in counseling. We’ve all got issues.”
“Well, that’s a relief. Thanks.”
“Sure. But know this, you act inappropriately and I will kick your butt.”
“I’m sure you will. You and Chase both.”
Anne came around the corner. “She’s fighting falling asleep until you get there, Riley. She wanted to talk to you before she fell asleep.”
“I’m going right now.” I gave Tammy a kiss on the cheek. “You’re the best, but I’ll never look at a bottle of Dr Pepper the same again.”
“You guys talked about Dr Pepper?” I heard Anne ask as I ran past her.
I climbed into the back of the car and lay down next to Attie. “I’m here. I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”
She started mumbling. “No, I want to talk to you. I want to make sure you’re all right. I don’t want you upset with me for overreacting.”
“I’m all right. I’m not upset with you; how could I be?”
“But—”
“Go to sleep, Charlie, we can talk about this tomorrow.”
Her eyes shut and then quickly opened again. “Do you really think you’ll still want to go out with me?”
“More than ever.”
“What’s the matter, Tammy?”
“That’s the worst night’s sleep I’ve ever had.” She sat in her chair curled up in a ball. Part of her hair was hidden beneath a yellow bandana; the rest was sticking out every which way. “I can’t even believe I agreed to this.”
“Sorry,” I sympathized with her. “Camping not your thing?”
“Holiday Inn isn’t even my thing.”
“You and Attie have that in common.” I laughed and then looked around at everyone.
“She’s with Anne. They’re in the tent talking.” She patted the empty seat next to her. “Cop a squat.”
Matt and Curt joined in the cooking extravaganza, and I watched as Matt destroyed three eggs in the process of trying to crack them open.
Chase had the patience of a saint. “Heck, man, we’ll just make scrambled eggs. It’ll be easier. Just crack them open and throw them in this cup; then mix it up real good and toss it in the pan. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Tess kept glancing over at Matt, ready to take over the egg cracking duties if necessary, but she stood back and let him struggle through.
“Just be careful not to get shells in there, Matt,” she told him.
“Okay,” Matt replied as he concentrated on his duty.
Anxious to see Attie, I looked toward the tent.
“Riley,” Tammy whispered, “be prepared. She looks worse today, so don’t freak out or anything when you see her. You’re probly gonna cry again, so ya may wanna do it now so ya don’t cry in front of her.”
“I’m not gonna cry again. I’ll be good.” I tried to assure her that I could keep from becoming emotional, but I didn’t even believe myself, and before I knew it tears were welling up in my eyes.
“I knew it.” Tammy snickered as she reached over and squeezed my hand.
I was disgusted with myself. “I’ve become a complete bawl bag.”
“You’re in love. We all act like complete idiots when we’re in love. My brother’s girlfriend loves Neil Diamond, and now he listens to him all the time. I’d much rather have him walk around crying instead of listening to ‘Love on the Rocks’.”
“Well, Tammy, I hate to tell you this, but I like Neil Diamond too.”
“You cry and listen to Neil Diamond? Then, Riley, you are in fact a hopeless case.”
“Come on, Tammy; have you not seen The Jazz Singer? It’s a great movie.”
“Riley, the man has sideburns that reach his jawline!”
“You’re thinking of fat Elvis. I don’t think Neil Diamond had sideburns like that.”
“He was around in the seventies, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Then he had the sideburns.”
“I’m Netflix’n the movie, Tammy, and we’re watching it together. If he has sideburns in the movie, I’ll buy you a Route 44. Deal?”
“You’re on.” She reached out and shook my hand. “I’ll take a Diet Coke.”
“What, no Dr Pepper?”
“Nah, goes straight to my thighs.”
“Breakfast is ready!” Curt announced.
“Dude, why did you get to announce it?” Matt asked. “You didn’t do anything but pour coffee.”
As the two of them began throwing a barrage of insults at each other, I noticed that Anne and Attie were coming out of the tent. Tammy was right—Attie’s face had swollen during the night, and a yellow tinge surrounded each wound. With her feet still wrapped in gauze, she wobbled on her heels in an awkward attempt at walking.
Jumping up, I ran to her.
“Hey, Riley,” she said wit
h a large grin.
“I’ll get her, Anne.” I reached over and scooped Attie up in my arms.
“My hero,” she teased. “All you need now is the helmet and shoulder pads.”
“No, Charlie, I think you need the helmet and shoulder pads, or at least you did yesterday. You’re lucky you didn’t lose an eye or something.”
“Stop torturing yourself. I’m fine.”
I placed her in the chair next to Tammy. “Hey, chick,” Tammy greeted.
Tess handed her a plate of food and cup of orange juice.
“Thanks.” She took a sip and then instantly brought her fingers to her lip and winced.
“Are you all right?” Tess sounded panicked.
“It’s the juice. It stung a cut on my lip; that’s all.”
I felt like a bigger jerk with every passing second.
“So what are the plans today, guys?” Curt asked.
“Well, we planned on hiking, but … ” Matt’s voice trailed off as he looked toward Attie’s feet.
“You guys go ahead; don’t miss out because of me. I brought a book. I can hang out, relax, and read.”
All three girls offered to stay, but Attie refused their offers.
“I’m staying,” I announced. “I wanted to talk to her anyway.”
“No. Good grief, we live together; we’ll have plenty of time to talk.”
I wasn’t sure if she wanted to avoid an inevitable, uncomfortable conversation or she didn’t want me to miss out on the fun. “No use in arguing, Charlie; I’m not going.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “You sure are stubborn.”
“Not as stubborn as you,” I corrected as Chase planned the day.
“We can hike for a few hours, and then this afternoon we can go out in the boats again,” he said. “Attie doesn’t need to walk to do that.”
“Thanks, Chase,” Attie said.
“Hey, everyone, guess what today is.”
“Riley, don’t you dare,” Attie whispered under her breath.
“What day is it?” Anne asked.
“It’s Attie’s seventeenth birthday.”
“What?” Tammy screamed. “It’s your birthday? Why didn’t you tell us?”
Attie shrugged as her face turned red.
“What do you want for your birthday? Tess asked.
“Umm … ” She glanced over at me and grinned but then looked away. “Um, a tetanus shot maybe.”
“Really, Attie, what do you want?” Tess asked again.
“I don’t need anything. Honestly, being here with all of you is present enough. I’m having the time of my life.”
“Well then, you’ve got some pretty low standards for fun,” Tammy quipped.
“No doubt,” Curt said.
“But there is a problem,” Attie announced.
Everyone’s eyes were drawn to her as they waited for her to continue.
“I have to go to the bathroom. I’ve been holding it since I got here, and I can’t wait anymore.”
Chase stood with his mouth hanging open. “You haven’t gone to the bathroom in a day?”
“I was a little preoccupied,” she snapped.
“I need to go too,” Anne announced.
“Me three,” Tammy added.
Chase evidently hadn’t been camping with three princesses before. “You’ve got to be kidding me?”
“I’ll take them, Chase,” Tess announced. “It’s time for a lesson in peeing in the woods.”
“I can’t even begin to tell you how much I don’t want to do this.” Attie almost cried at the thought. “I’ve never missed a toilet so much in my entire life.”
“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. You just have to watch out for the snakes.”
“Snakes?” The girls sounded terrified.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry,” Tess said. “They’re more afraid of you than you are of them.”
“Sounds like a load of hog wash to me,” Tammy said, yanking the bandana off of her head.
“Why didn’t anybody mention this part when we were planning the trip?” Anne asked.
Chase laughed. “I assumed you would know that there aren’t any bathrooms out in the woods.”
“My mind never went there.”
“Well, let’s get it over with,” Tammy said, standing and grabbing one of Attie’s arms. “Somebody get the other side.”
“I’ll do it, Tess; you be on the lookout for snakes,” Anne commanded as she took Attie’s arm and they headed toward the trees.
The guys and I were practically rolling on the ground laughing at the sounds that were coming out of the woods. I wished I could have recorded it and played it back for the girls when they could have a sense of humor about it. There were mixtures of screams, cries, and giggles. Oddly enough, I think the girls were enjoying themselves.
After the bathroom adventure, everyone got dressed and took off on their hiking expedition. They left us sitting by the river in separate chairs with our feet propped up on a single chair in front of us. I focused on her crimson toenails.
“I guess I should go ahead and start,” I announced.
“You don’t need to do this. I’m fine. I’ve moved on.”
“I haven’t, so indulge me and allow me get this off of my chest.”
“Riley, you don’t have to do this—”
“Charlie, please.”
“All right.”
“I don’t know what got into me yesterday. I mean, I do, but I don’t know how I let myself get out of control like that. You told me to stop more than once, and I ignored you. I can’t even begin to justify that.” Just saying it made me sick to my stomach.
Attie sat in silence as she looked out at the water.
“I think I set some darned near impossible expectations on myself. I don’t think I realized how difficult it would be to be around you all the time and never get to so much as hold your hand. I don’t wanna sound like a total pervert or anything, but it’s nearly impossible for me to be near you and not want to touch you. A hundred times a day I catch myself about to reach for you.”
She remained silent, her face was blank, and she bit on her thumbnail as I continued.
“So, yesterday when you were laying there in your bathing suit and I was that close to you with all of your exposed skin … well, I lost my mind. My fingers touched you, and it gave me a rush. I didn’t want the feeling to stop. I liked it.”
My anxiety reduced as she finally spoke. “I liked it too, Riley. I could have put up more of a fight. I could have stopped you earlier if I would have wanted to. Heck, I’d even tried to get you to kiss me a few hours before. I wanted you to touch me as much you wanted to.”
It felt good to hear her admission. “You did?”
“Yes.”
She continued, “It didn’t help that I was barely clothed, I realize that.” She nodded as she spoke, but her eyes were still on the water in front of her. “I did a lot of thinking on my excursion yesterday. I carry as much responsibility for this as you do. I know how you feel about me, and I was foolish to think that I could be dressed that way and talk like that while you were lying there next to me. I flirted and made no attempt to make the situation easier on you.” She shrugged. “I don’t know where this leaves us. I really don’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s possible that we just aren’t meant to be.”
“No, it isn’t. Don’t even say that.”
“Well, maybe we should stay away from each other for a while, keep a distance. You want to fulfill the promise that you made to yourself and your dad, and I’m not doing a very good job at making it easier for you. We only have a co
uple of weeks left until I move out; maybe we should let things cool off and then see where we stand. Maybe if we spend some time apart you’ll get some clarity about the situation.”
I shook my head. “Okay, this is not the direction I was hoping this conversation would go. I don’t like your plan at all; I hate it actually.”
“Well, what did you have in mind?”
“Honestly?”
“Of course.”
“I wanna admit to everyone that I’m crazy about you and put an end to all this suffering right now. I don’t think anyone’s fooled anyway.” I recalled my conversation with Tammy. “I need to sit down with Dad, tell him what’s going on, and that he can trust me with you.”
She was silent again.
“I’m willing to do it, to have the conversation as soon as we get home. But I’m at a point where I need to know something.”
“What?”
My heart raced as I got nervous. “There’s no secret to how I feel about you. You’ve known for months, and I’ve told you on more than one occasion. But you’ve never told me how you feel.”
As she continued to sit in silence, I felt like I was being tortured.
“Do you like me, Charlie, as more than a friend? I really need to know.”
After what felt like hours, her mouth finally opened, and she spoke. “I hate when I wake up in the morning and you’ve already left for the gym or to practice because I know that I won’t get to see you until late in the day.
“And if I’ve been away from you for any amount of time and I hear your voice, my heart starts to race.
“When you grab my hand to lead me somewhere, I always wish you wouldn’t let go, and I refuse to even think about the day that I’ll be moving out of your house because it makes me miserable knowing that you won’t be within a one hundred-foot radius of me on a regular basis.”
She paused and I remained silent. I wanted to hear her say more. These were the words that I’d been hoping to hear all summer, the words I wanted to hear from her all my life.
She continued in a whisper. “I was hoping that you would kiss me while I was lying in that tent yesterday; in a weird way I don’t want my nightmares to end because I don’t want you to stop sleeping next to me, and I’m freaked out that I haven’t even started my senior year yet and I feel all these things for a boy.