“Third, little to no physical contact when you’re in the house.”
We all caught Riley roll his eyes.
“It may sound harsh,” Joshua spoke directly to Riley, “but trust us, with as much time as the two of you will be spending together, touching each other all the time will not make this easier on you. The more ‘familiar’ you are with each other, the more difficult it’s going to be to resist temptation when you’re alone.”
“This is beyond embarrassing,” I admitted out loud.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Attie.” Marme reached over and patted my arm. “We’re on your side. Plus, we can’t ignore the elephant in the room. We’ve all been teenagers, and it was hard enough without living with the people we were dating.”
“Fourth,” Joshua continued, “each of you will meet with Nicole and me weekly. It won’t be a counseling session as much as it’ll be a debriefing. I would hope that if you’re struggling in any way with temptation or anything like that, you’d bring it up during our time together.”
Pops spoke up again. “Molly and I are your parents, so we realize you won’t be comfortable coming to us with issues. Having Joshua and Nicole for that will be a great outlet for you two.”
“I won’t share anything with your parents unless I ask your permission first.” Joshua walked over and placed his hands on my shoulders. “I don’t see that needing to happen, but I’ll warn you now that if I feel this spinning out of control I will intervene.”
I looked up at him. “Yes, sir.”
“We’ve already agreed that if this becomes too difficult, one of you will be living with us.”
It was all common sense to me.
“Fifth … ”
“There’s more?” Riley was growing impatient with the boundaries.
“This is the last one,” Joshua assured. “You’ll attend church every Sunday and youth on Wednesday nights.” His eyes darted back and forth between Riley and me. “So can we all agree to the rules?”
“Yes,” Riley and I spoke in unison.
“All right then, you have our blessing,” Pops announced.
“Why do I feel like we should have popped open a bottle of champagne after you announced that?” Marme asked.
“Because you’re as excited about the two of them dating as they are,” he informed her.
“True.” She nodded her head and clapped her hands. “I really am. I think you’re adorable together.”
“Oh yeah, one more thing,” Joshua announced as he made his way over to Riley. “You hurt her and your dad and I will hurt you. Got that, Riley?”
I giggled.
“Me?” Riley squealed. “She’s the one with the power here.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“I’m much more involved in this than you are.”
“What?” I asked. We’d forgotten that there were other people in the room.
“It’s true. You have a much better chance of breaking my heart than I do of breaking yours.”
“That’s not true. Just because I wasn’t on the bandwagon as early as you were doesn’t mean I’m not completely on it now. If this ship sinks, we’re both doomed.”
“You two better shut your mouths,” Pops interrupted. “Or I’m calling the entire thing off now. That’s all we need, two heartbroken teenagers moping around our house.”
“There will be no heartbreaking going on,” Riley announced. “We’re meant to be.”
“That’s so sweet.” Nicole was gushing. “Remember when you used to like me like that, Josh?”
“Give them time, Nicole. They’ll get sick of each other before long,” he teased before kissing her on the nose.
“All right.” Pops clapped again to bring the room to order. “This court session is now over.”
“Thank God.” Riley rolled his eyes and slunk farther into his chair. “That was brutal.”
Pops ignored him and continued, “So when’s the big official first date?”
Riley sat back up in his chair, and a grin spread across his face as he looked back over at me. “What do you think?”
“I think you haven’t even officially asked me yet,” I answered.
He smirked. “So, Charlie,”—he leaned across the table as he spoke—“will you go out with me?”
“On a date?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “An actual date.”
Again, it was as if there was no one else in the room.
“I’d love to.”
“Thank God.” He laughed as he laid his head on the table. “You have no idea what a relief that is to hear.”
“You’re a doll baby, Riley,” Marme announced. “Who could say no to you?”
Riley looked back up at me and grinned. “Tomorrow night then?”
“Sounds good.”
“Goody, we get to go shopping for an outfit!” Marme said.
“Oooh, can I come?” Nicole asked.
“The more the merrier,” I said.
Pops got our attention again. “Well, I have a gift for you two.”
“I love gifts!”
“We know,” Riley teased.
Pops walked into his bedroom and returned with two large beanbag chairs.
“What in the world?” Riley asked.
“Well, since you can’t go into each other’s rooms, I figured we could put them in the upstairs hallway so you can hang out up there when you wanna get away from us without getting totally away from us.”
“Good thinking, babe,” Marme said proudly.
“Wow, that’s a great idea. Thanks, Dad.”
“Trust me, you two, I’ve put as much thought into this as you have. Now granted, I’ve focused on how to keep the two of you safely away from each other rather than what you’ve been thinking about. I believe I even contemplated plastic bubbles at one point.”
I stood, walked over to him, and gave him a hug. “We’ll be good. I promise.”
“I know you will.” He kissed me on the top of my head. “All right, let’s leave these two lovebirds alone for a little while. They’ve got a big date to plan.”
I jumped onto the counter as everyone but Riley filed out of the room.
“Does this feel strange to you?” he asked from his seat.
“Totally. I hope the anticipation wasn’t better than the reality is.”
He leaned toward me and spoke in a hushed voice. “I’ve already kissed you twice, Charlie. I can say with one hundred percent certainty that the reality will be much better than the anticipation.”
“But the mystery will be gone,” I warned.
He sat back in his chair and chuckled. “Trust me, you are and always will be a complete mystery to me.”
“You, on the other hand, are an open book.”
“I realize that. It’s disgraceful but true.” He stood and walked toward me but stopped a few inches away. “So what do you wanna do for our first date?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been on a date before.”
“That’s a lot of pressure on a guy—being the first date and all.”
“I’m sure you’ll be the guy for a lot of my firsts.”
“Good to know.” He acted as if he licked the tip of an imaginary pencil and wrote in the air. “Should we start a list? For a few of these we’ll have to wait until we’re married.”
“Riley! First of all, that’s not what I meant, and secondly, we haven’t even gone on a date yet, so I don’t think you should be talking about marriage. That’s a little overconfident and unrealistic, don’t you think?”
“I’m an open book, and I’m gonna tell it like it is. Ten years from now, our kids are gonna be running aroun
d this house.”
“Kids?”
He nodded. “Oh yeah.”
“We won’t still be living with your parents, will we?”
“No.” He laughed and shook his head. “They’ll be babysitting.”
I put my hand on his face. “You’ve lost your mind, Riley Bennett.”
“You’re breaking the third rule,” he informed.
I yanked my hand away. “Sorry.” I hopped off the counter and walked past him toward the refrigerator. “Just for the record, I’m not getting married until I finish undergrad.”
I felt him walk up behind me as I opened the fridge door and grabbed two bottled waters.
“You’re gonna be on that accelerated program, right?” He was so close that his breath was warm on my neck, and the sensation caused chills to run down my spine.
“Riley,” I spoke without turning to face him, “it’s probably not a good idea to stand that close to me.”
“Why?”
“It makes me want to break rules one, two, and three.”
He moved away from me, and I heard him laugh as he left the kitchen.
“Don’t you want the water I got out for you? It’ll cool you off.”
“You keep it.” He laughed. “Sounds like you need it more than I do.”
“You called?” Jesus asked as soon as I put my ear buds in.
“I did. I assume you heard the conversation that took place downstairs.”
He sat down on the bed next to me. “Of course.”
“Well, it’s great to have their permission and everything, but I wanted to run it by you too. Riley and I like each other, and we want to go out, but—”
“I know.”
“So how do you feel about it? Are you okay with that?”
“Would it matter if I wasn’t?”
“Yes, it would matter. If you told me not to do it, I wouldn’t. I know you would tell me no if it were in my best interest.”
“I appreciate that.”
“It’s true.”
“I know it is.” Jesus smiled at me. “Riley’s parents, Joshua, and Nicole have been praying about this for months. As they told you, this is no surprise to them—or to me. They’ve put a lot of thought into their boundaries, and they’ve consulted me about it as well. They feel at peace about it because I feel at peace about it.”
“So you’re okay with it?”
“Yes, as long as you follow the rules. If you ever decide to be deceitful or not follow the guidelines, I’ll feel differently, but I don’t see that happening. You two are good kids, and like I said before, I believe that you’re good for each other.”
“I believe that too.”
I was relieved that Jesus was accepting of our relationship.
“But something else is bothering you. Why don’t you talk to me about it?”
My mind wandered off for a few moments, and I sat in a trance as I thought about Jesus’s words to me at the river.
He read my mind. “We haven’t spoken since our talk at the river. I don’t think you and I ever came to any resolution about it.”
“Evidently, I need to deal with some forgiveness issues. Is that what you think my nightmares are?”
“Yes. Your subconscious has a way of speaking to you even when your conscious mind doesn’t want to listen.”
“And you can help me with the whole forgiveness process? Honestly, I thought I’d already dealt with it all.”
“Ignoring and forgiving isn’t the same thing. Just because you don’t think about it on a regular basis doesn’t mean you’ve forgiven. Refusing to accept that your father has abandoned you doesn’t mean he hasn’t.”
“I guess that’s true.” The reference to my father brought tears. “Why isn’t he coming back?”
“Because he’s hurting and he isn’t thinking clearly right now.”
“Will he ever?”
“I can’t tell you that. But calling him today was a big step. Releasing him of any obligation to you will allow him to begin to forgive himself, which in turn will start the healing process for him.
“For you, it’s the realization that you can’t control another human being. The only person you can control is you. Forgiveness is a choice, Attie. It’s a choice you will have to make every single day until it’s no longer an issue for you. And then, even when you think you’ve completely forgiven, something may happen, and you’ll have to start the process all over again.”
“Lovely,” I said sarcastically.
“When I command people to forgive others and to pray for their enemies, it isn’t so the other person, the offender, will benefit. It’s for the offended, so they will benefit. I want you to forgive your father for you, Attie, not for him. I want you to sleep at night, and I want you to be joyful again. Holding on to anger, hurt, or an offense becomes a burden and literally depletes joy from your spirit. I love you, and that’s not what I want for you.”
“So what, I pray for him, that’s it?”
“For right now, yes. Unselfish prayers. You pray for him to return to me, not to you. It’s my relationship with him that’s most important, not yours. But through having a relationship with me, he’s much more likely to reestablish a connection with you. You have to pray for what’s best for your dad, and right now that may not be what you think it should. Being here may not be what’s best for him, and quite honestly, it may not be what’s best for you either. I need you to trust me in this.”
“I do.”
“Look at your life now, Attie. Look how far you’ve come in such a short time. You have so much to look forward to; don’t let unforgiveness stand in your way.”
“I won’t. I’m ready to deal with it. How do I start?”
chapter 33
I slowly drove down East Noble Road until I found the correct house. Pulling the car to a stop, I took a deep breath before turning off the engine, getting out of the car, and heading toward the front door.
I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. In less than a minute I heard tiny footsteps running toward the door, and as it opened, a small towheaded boy looked up at me.
“May I help you?” He sounded very proper for a child of only four or five.
“Is your father home?”
“He’s in the garage. You can go back there,” he said before the door slammed shut.
Making my way across a trail of steppingstones laying in the grass, I found the garage on the side of the house.
“Hello?” I asked as I neared the garage. “Mr. King?”
“Come on in.” I heard a voice but didn’t see anyone. “I’m not interested in buying anything.”
I walked into the garage and found a man sitting at a workbench. His back was to me. “Oh, I’m not selling anything.” My voice shook, and I was about to lose my nerve. “I just needed to talk to you.”
He turned to face me, and as soon as he saw my face, he dropped his hammer. Mitchell King was in shock.
I ran over, picked up the hammer, and offered it back.
“Um, thank … thank you.” He stood and removed his baseball cap. “I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you at first.”
“Oh, that’s all right. I know you weren’t expecting me. I just decided to come by before I lost my nerve. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No. Of course not.” He swiftly removed some newspapers from a chair. “Would you like to have a seat?”
“Thank you.” As I sat down, he fell back onto the barstool. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“No. Not at all.”
“I don’t even know what to say. I just felt like I needed to see you.”
I noticed his hands were shaking.
&
nbsp; “Mr. King,” I continued as I looked down at my fidgeting hands, “I know this sounds insane, but I feel like I’m supposed to let you know that I forgive you for the accident. It may sound pompous of me, like I think I have the right to ‘forgive’ you or something. I wanted to make sure you knew that I’m not angry with you. I don’t blame you at all for the accident. I’m selfishly doing this more for me than you, and I realize that I’m rambling, but I don’t know what to say here. I just … I just want you to know that I’m sorry for any pain that you’ve experienced.”
Mr. King was silent.
“Right.” I stood and began to head out of the garage. “Well, I guess I’ll go.”
“No, don’t go,” he yelled after me. “I’m sorry; it was rude of me not to say anything.”
I sat back onto the chair. “I understand. I’d be shocked too if I were in your shoes.”
“I’ve tried to talk to you a few times, but Mr. Bennett didn’t think the timing was right.”
“I can imagine. He’s very protective of me.”
“I can’t blame him for that. You’ve been through a lot.”
“So have you, I would assume.”
“I didn’t lose a loved one, but I’ve had to try to reconcile the idea that I took the lives of a mother, wife, daughter, and sister. I’m so sorry for that.”
“We’re two people that are stuck in a horrible situation that we didn’t cause.”
“Well,” he mumbled, “you didn’t cause it anyway.”
“You didn’t cause it either, Mr. King. It was an unfortunate accident. My mom wasn’t paying attention, and you didn’t have enough time to respond. Nobody blames you. I know I don’t.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Mr. King—”
“Mitchell. Please call me Mitchell.”
“All right. Mitchell, I want you to feel absolved of any responsibility.” He wept as I spoke. “That’s a burden you don’t need to carry.”
“You have no idea what this visit means to me, Attie. The guilt overtook my life. This year has been a nightmare.”