I finally looked up, and saw his face through a blurry haze. Sapphire light glinted behind a wall of tears.
“Erik?” I whispered, confused. The arms didn’t feel quite like Erik’s, too thin. No sensation of calm or peace washed over me like when I was with Erik.
“No, Talia,” Edmond whispered.
Not Erik. Not Erik, because Erik was back at the cottage, unconscious. And Donavon was dead.
“Put her up front, in the pilot’s cabin. Have one of the medics give her a sedative. I’ll be up there as soon as I’m sure we’ve gotten everyone,” Crane said.
I felt Edmond walking up the gangplank. I was vaguely aware of the others already on the plane, but I stared at them without really seeing. Many were injured, some were grievously wounded, but that wasn’t important. Donavon was dead.
Edmond spoke to someone in a low voice; I didn’t bother listening. Whatever they were talking about was inconsequential. I felt a sharp prick in my bicep; I couldn’t muster the energy to care. Then, darkness.
Chapter Fourteen
My throat was raw, and when I tried to swallow, shards of glass seemed to rake against the soft tissue. My eyes felt like they were bugging out of my head, and they stung when I tried to open them. My neck was stiff; I rolled it to release the tension, and my chin rubbed across something scratchy on my shoulder. Gauze, I realized. Why was my shoulder wrapped in gauze? I tried to sit up, but every muscle protested.
“Rest, Ms. Lyons. You must be exhausted,” a voice said in the darkness.
“Dr. Patel?” I mumbled, confused. Was I back at the cottage? That wasn’t right. The last thing I remembered was … oh god, Donavon.
“They gave you a sedative on the plane. President Crane thought it best. I can give you another if you prefer?”
“No, thank you,” I whispered.
“If you change your mind, send a comm and I’ll come back. Once you’re feeling up to it, there are quite a few people that would like to see you,” Dr. Patel said.
I didn’t want to see anyone. I wanted to close my eyes and never open them again. I didn’t want to live in a world where I had to tell a little boy that his daddy was dead. Alex was now an orphan, like me. Then again, he probably knew. He’d been there after all. Just like when Kandice was murdered.
“I don’t want to see anyone right now,” I replied.
“That is understandable. I will let them know.” Dr. Patel started to walk away.
“Doctor?” I called after him into the darkness. I couldn’t see well, my eyes were too swollen, and I wasn’t entirely sure where I was. “Am I in Erik’s room?”
“Yes, Ms. Lyons. I wanted to put you in a hospital bed, but President Crane thought this the best place for you to wake up.” I made a mental note to thank Ian the next time I saw him.
I waited until I heard the door shut before crawling out of bed. My eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness and by the time I’d taken three steps, they’d adapted. I padded to Erik’s bedside. I’d lied to Dr. Patel – there was one person I wanted to see.
The monitors all beeped and hummed steadily, an unpleasant reminder that Erik’s condition was unchanged. The chair was still there, but holding his hand wasn’t sufficient. I needed to be closer to him. Carefully, I climbed into his hospital bed, cognizant of the IV and the electrodes monitoring his vitals. I wedged myself between the rail keeping Erik from falling out of the bed and his side. Then I draped his limp arm around my waist, and rested his hand on the curve of my hip. I buried my face in his neck, and cried myself back to sleep.
Fingers stroked the scar on my hip from where I’d cut out the tracking device TOXIC had implanted in me for my solo mission. I knew I was dreaming, but I went with it anyway. I imagined they were Erik’s, and before long they startled tickling my stomach. Smiling, I kissed the underside of Erik’s chin, and he groaned softly. I beamed, I liked it when he did that. I kissed along his jaw, keeping my eyes shut, not wanting to do anything that might bring me back to reality.
The hand stroking my stomach moved back to my hip, gripping my side. My lips trailed kisses towards his mouth. When our lips met, it was pure bliss. The last time we’d kissed felt like ages ago. I rolled on top of him, careful not to hurt him before remembering that in a dream that wasn’t possible. His hands encircled my waist, and then began running up and down my sides. His mouth moved to my throat and I tilted my head back, letting my hair cascade down my back.
An irritating, repetitive beeping invaded the happy haze of the dream. My eyes snapped open, and that was when I realized the heart monitor was going nuts. The beeps were so close together now that it sounded more like one, extremely long beep. I blinked my eyes, and stared down at the most beautiful sight in the world. Erik’s brilliant turquoise irises were gazing up at me. He was awake.
“Erik.” The one word burst from my lips on a wave of emotion.
His fingers were digging into my sides with so much force that I didn’t need to pinch myself to know this was really happening.
“Why are you here?” Erik demanded, hysteria making his voice crack. The monitors started to screech, responding to his accelerated pulse and spiking brain activity.
I tried to scramble off of him, but he held me firmly in place.
“What do you mean?” I stammered.
“I mean, why are you here? Did … did they get you, too?”
Get me too? Oh no, he thinks he’s still in prison.
“Erik,” I began calmly. “You aren’t at Tramblewood. We rescued you. Do you remember?”
“Is this a trick? Are you really her?” Erik demanded, shaking with so much force my teeth chattered.
“Erik, listen to me. I came to Tramblewood, to the cell, and got you out. Then we brought you here. You’ve been unconscious for days, but you’re safe. You’re with me and you’re safe.”
Confusion and fear flickered in his eyes, and my heart broke. What had Mac done to him? I tentatively leaned closer, until our faces were millimeters apart. “You are safe,” I told him, willing him to understand.
Behind me the monitors were screaming for attention. The room exploded in light, as the door burst open. I heard shoes pounding on the stone floor. Erik started to shake underneath me, and the monitors shrieked warnings.
“GET OUT!” I screamed, not bothering to look at the people who’d invaded our space.
Underneath me, Erik struggled to sit up, while at the same time keeping me in his lap as he twisted to position his body between mine and those he perceived as a threat.
“Don’t touch her!” he shouted, cradling my head against his chest. His voice was strong and clear, but I felt his fear. He didn’t understand what was happening. He was scared for both of us.
“Sedate him before he hurts her,” Dr. Patel ordered.
“NO!” I protested, my voice muffled by Erik’s chest. The approaching feet quieted with the weight of my command.
“It’s okay, Erik. We’re safe,” I assured him, rubbing his back.
Erik’s nerves were frayed, and taking control of his mind was easy. I met Dr. Patel’s uneasy gaze over Erik’s shoulder.
“Leave,” I snapped. “Let me handle this.”
“Do as she says.” It was Crane who responded. I hadn’t noticed him standing in the doorway. “The boy is terrified and he doesn’t trust anyone but her. You’ll just be prolonging the inevitable if you sedate him.”
Dr. Patel looked like he wanted to argue, but stopped himself. The medics he’d brought didn’t move.
“I’d suggest backing up slowly. Individually, they are both deadly. Together, they could kill us all where we stand without lifting a finger.” Crane’s tone was lazy, but when I caught his black eyes, I saw the trepidation. He worried Erik was physically too strong for me to control, and if Crane or the medics tried to intervene, the situation would escalate quickly.
The medics obeyed Crane, backing slowly towards the door. Crane was the last to leave, nodding to me before he closed the
door.
Erik released a shaky breath and slumped back against the mattress, taking me with him. I let him hold me. His desire to protect me seemed to clear his head a little. Erik wound his fingers through my hair, tugging on the curls to make sure they were real.
“Erik?” I whispered. “You are safe, I promise. I can’t imagine how scared you are right now, but you have to trust me.”
Only the too-fast beeps from his heart monitor told me he was still awake. “Erik, talk to me,” I pleaded.
“Was that Ian Crane?” he asked, his voice raspy.
I sighed, this was going to be harder than I thought. Not only did I have to convince him that he was safe, but that Crane was one of the good guys.
“Yes. We’re at his cottage, Coalition Headquarters, in California. He helped rescue you from Tramblewood. Ian’s doctors have been taking care of you. They healed you. Mac …” I let my voice trail off. I couldn’t bring myself to add “tortured you,” “experimented on you,” “nearly killed you,” “stole your blood,” or any of the million other atrocities.
Erik was still nervous, but his fear had dimmed some. “I’m not at Tramblewood?” He sounded like a child, and I almost wished he were still in attack mode like he had been when the doctors came in. Seeing him so vulnerable made my heart hurt.
“No, you’re in California with me. You’re safe,” I repeated the words, hoping they’d sink in.
Gently he pushed me off of his chest, holding me at arm’s length. His muscles quivered from the effort, and I eased myself off of to one side. I propped myself up on one elbow without breaking eye contact. He needed to see me, I felt that. Slowly, Erik reached his fingers towards my face, trailing the tips down my forehead, over my eyelids, down my cheeks. He lightly traced my mouth, my jawline, my collarbone. The more he touched me, the more he relaxed.
I sat still as a statue, while he cupped my neck and stroked my arms.
“It was real,” he mumbled, amazed.
“Yeah. I’m real,” I said smiling.
“No.” Erik shook his head, becoming agitated. “Before was real.”
My smile faltered. He was babbling nonsense. I tried to reassure myself the confusion was normal. He’d woken up in a strange bed, in a strange room, and then strange people had insisted he be sedated. Of course he was disoriented.
“This is real,” I said gently, kissing the tips of his fingers when he brought them to my mouth a second time.
“I saw you with him, with Crane. When I was at Tramblewood, I saw you two talking.” Erik squinted like the small amount of light coming through the parted curtains hurt his head. “And Penny was there. And this guy I didn’t know.” He rubbed his forehead. “Brian. His name was Brian, I think.”
“Brand,” I corrected automatically.
“Yeah. That’s it. Brand. So it was real? You came to Ian Crane for help. Penny, she’s alive? It was real?”
I nodded, aware the instant understanding dawned.
Erik stared at me, a mixture of disbelief and longing playing across his features. In his mind I saw the conversations between Crane, Penny, Brand, and me that Erik had thought were dreams until now. The visions were watery, and had a dream-like quality to them. He had spent all of his alone time viewing me. Watching me, continually, even though he’d thought it was all a hallucination. I blanched as a cloudy image of Donavon materialized in Erik’s head. The two had a conversation that Erik couldn’t recall, but he remembered feeling better after the other guy left.
“Kiss me,” he said suddenly.
I leaned down, bringing my lips to his. I felt him wince as his lips parted. The tear in his bottom lip still hadn’t healed completely.
“No,” he sent when I tried to pull back to keep from hurting him. The kiss became deeper. His arms snaked around my waist, pulling me closer. He ran one palm up my spine, caressing my hip with the other.
“I’m safe. With you. In California,” he repeated my words back, more to himself than me. I tangled my fingers in his thick hair. “I love you,” I sent. The kiss became more desperate, and I wanted to loss myself in Erik. I wanted to pretend like we were the only two people on the planet, in the galaxy, with infinite time to just be together.
The hand tangled in my hair pulled my head back a little too hard, and Erik began working his mouth down my throat. At first I reveled in the touch. I never wanted it to end. Erik wasn’t being gentle, and I started to get a little uneasy.
“Easy, tiger,” I said, moving my hands to his chest and pushing away. “I think we should let the doctor check you out. You know, make sure you’re up for this.” Erik grabbed my arms, pulling me to him. His fingers dug into my flesh, his knuckles turning white. The intensity of his actions frightened me.
“Erik, stop!” I said, more forcefully this time. I scooted back, putting as much distance between us as possible. His eyes wouldn’t meet mine, and an odd aura was coming off of him. “Erik, look at me,” I whispered.
When he finally lifted his gaze, I drew in a sharp breath. It wasn’t desire in his eyes, it was something more primal, more intense, and it scared me. This wasn’t my Erik. I reached for his mind. Angry, dangerous thoughts swirled through his head like storm clouds. I nearly fell off the bed in my haste to get farther away. The sound of me crashing into the chair I’d used for my bedside vigil seemed to bring him out of the trance-like state.
Erik blinked several times in fast succession, trying to clear the fog that clouded his mind. “I’m sorry, Tals,” he said hoarsely. “I don’t know what came over me. I just can’t believe I’m alive and we’re together.” He looked around the room, confused, like he was seeing it for the first time.
Tentatively I inched forward, taking his outstretched hand between both of my palms. “It’s okay, I understand.” I tried to smile to reassure him. “Why don’t I get Dr. Patel, so he can take a look at you and make sure you’re okay?”
Erik looked hesitant, eyes darting nervously around the room again. I squeezed his hand. “You trust me, right?” I asked, putting a commanding edge in my tone.
“Of course I do,” he replied automatically.
“I trust Dr. Patel, Erik. He’s been treating you for days, and he patched up Henri, too,” I added for good measure. Bewilderment crossed his features.
“Henri? He’s here?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’ll explain everything after you let Dr. Patel take a look at you,” I promised.
Erik considered this, staring at me as if he once again thought I might be a hallucination. “Okay,” he finally conceded. He shot me the smile that made my heart melt, and the tension mounting between us lessened. Erik traced the veins on the back of one of my hands, concentrating way too hard. He was scared again.
“Will you stay with me? While the doctor is in here?” he mumbled, his words running together in a fluid stream.
I could feel him fighting his insecurities. It pained him to appear so vulnerable, but the thought of an unknown doctor touching him, injecting him with drugs, created a spike of panic the like of which I’d never experienced vicariously through him.
“Anything you want,” I promised, offering my own winning smile.
Gently I drew my hands back and went to the wall communicator. I quickly found Dr. Patel’s number and typed a short message. I hadn’t even made it back to Erik’s bed when a soft knock sounded at the door.
“I’ll get it,” I said unnecessarily. Obviously Erik wouldn’t be getting out of bed to greet the visitor.
Dr. Patel greeted me with a friendly smile when I held the door open for him. He must’ve been waiting in the hallway, I realized. I peered through the door before closing it. Crane, Brand, and two medics were talking in quiet voices. They didn’t appear to notice me, so I ducked back into the room and took a seat in an armchair.
“Mr. Kelley, or do you prefer Erik?” Dr. Patel was saying.
“Just Erik,” Erik replied. No trace of his earlier vulnerability remained. He was cool and in control, if not
detached, now. He’d erected a wall of protection around his mind, complete with flashing signs warning people not to get too close. Unfortunately, I was the only one who saw them.
“Erik, then. You have suffered massive internal bleeding, head trauma, and blood loss. Initially I was worried about whether you might wake up, but it seems my fears were unfounded.” Erik didn’t respond. “Would it be okay if I checked your injuries?” the doctor continued. “They are healing at a remarkable rate.”
Erik’s eyes found mine over the doctor’s shoulder. I nodded encouragingly, trying to mask the pain I felt at how untrusting he was.
“Sure,” he told the doctor stiffly.
I turned my head, staring at the wall like it held all the answers. I felt intrusive watching while Dr. Patel examined Erik’s injuries, particularly since I knew that he was practically naked under the quilt.
“Tal?” Erik sent.
“I’m right here,” I assured him, and forced my gaze back to the bed. Dr. Patel’s form blocked my view of Erik’s body. I was ashamed at how relieved that made me. I couldn’t handle seeing the bruises and stitched cuts. The last twenty four hours – hell, the last week – had been too traumatizing. I’d seen so much violence, and I really didn’t want to be reminded of the torture he’d suffered.
“You are healing nicely,” Dr. Patel announced. “How about I give you pain medication to take the edge off?”
“NO!” Erik shouted. Dr. Patel was already reaching into the pocket of his white lab coat, and Erik slapped his arm, sending the syringe flying across the room.
I jumped to my feet, scared of what might happen next. I crossed the room in three long strides.
“I don’t want drugs,” Erik said, fighting to keep his voice even.
“Of course. If you change your mind, have Ms. Lyons send me a comm. I’ll come back and check on you in a couple of hours.” The doctor seemed unfazed by Erik’s outburst.
“I want the IV out,” Erik demanded.
“That would be fine,” Dr. Patel said. He reached tentatively towards Erik’s arm, then thought better of it. “Would you like me to remove it? Or do you prefer to do it yourself?”