She chewed her lip and sighed. Maybe she needed to bend a little here. Without interrupting him, she went to the back porch and lit a candle. Holding it aloft, she went out the back door and lifted the cellar door.
Descending into the darkness with only a small flame was like walking into a black hole. The dank odor rushed at her and left her feeling off balance. She reached the bottom of the rickety stairs and held up the candle so its puny light pushed back the shadows. The pickle barrel didn’t appear to have been disturbed.
She set the candle on a shelf, then pried off the barrel lid and thrust her hand into the pickles. The pungent aroma filled her nose. For a moment she feared they were missing, then her fingers snagged the oilcloth. She pulled it up and unwrapped the cloth. The coins were all there.
She heard the stairs squeak and whirled. A large shape moved toward her. “Who’s there?”
His figure loomed in the shadows. “It’s me. What are you doing?” Nate’s voice was husky.
“Getting the coins.”
“No need. They’re safe where they are for now.”
The steps groaned one last time, then he was beside her. She held them out to him, but he closed her fingers back over the coins. “You don’t have to give them to me.”
“I want to. I’m sorry if I made you feel I didn’t trust you.” She stared at the money in her hand. “I’m beginning to realize I am much too fond of being in charge.”
“We have a lot of adjusting to do. It’s not going to happen all at once.”
Nate’s presence made the cold air feel warmer. Though the cellar was hardly a romantic spot, Lucy found herself wanting to move closer. To rest her head on his chest. To relinquish her solitude. Was that what becoming one meant? When one bled, the other cried out? Though she loved her siblings, she’d never felt that sense of union.
“Last chance.” She held out the coins.
He gave them a cursory glance. “Put them back. It’s too dark to see them anyway.”
She turned back to the barrel and replaced the coins, then dropped the lid back into place. She wiped the vinegar from her hands on her apron, then took the candle in her right hand.
His warm hand gripped her left one. “Let’s get out of here. There are better places to talk.”
His tone was so prosaic that she couldn’t help the disappointment that shot through her. Did he have no desire to hold her, to brush his lips across hers? “As you wish,” she said, keeping her voice impersonal. She left her hand in his and allowed him to lead her up the stairs. He so unsettled her that she lost her balance until he steadied her.
“Careful.” He gripped her hand. “I need to build new steps. These tilt. I don’t want you to take a tumble with your hands full.”
At least he cared a little. Enough that he didn’t want her hurt. In the yard she tilted her face up to him. “Why don’t you want to at least see the coins? After all, they are worth a fortune.”
The moonlight illuminated his grin. “Maybe I should have looked at them. Jed says they look like regular silver dollars. Nothing that special. I can’t imagine someone paying that kind of money just to put them in a drawer somewhere. That kind of hoarding doesn’t make sense.”
“When does acquiring more and more land translate to hoarding?” she countered. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wanted to snatch them back.
He stiffened and dropped her hand. “Land has a use. We can run more cattle and expand our business.”
“Why?” She tried to ask her question in a genuinely curious tone without any condemnation. “If we have enough to live, why do we need more?”
He opened his mouth, then shut it again. “Good question, Lucy. Pa has always drilled it into my head that the Stanton spread is going to be the biggest cattle ranch in Texas.”
“So it’s all about power?”
“Maybe. More land meant more cattle. More cattle meant more jobs for men and a productive life. I’ve never analyzed it.”
She started to ask him if he didn’t trust God to provide when it struck her that she was the same way. If she was going to talk to him about his trust issues, she needed to work on her own first.
NATE STILL CAUGHT a whiff or two of vinegar from Lucy’s small hands even though she’d washed them the minute they got back inside. He poked at the fire and added two more logs before joining her on the rug in front of the fire. “Why aren’t you in the chair?”
She sat watching the flames with her knees hugged to her chest. “I like to sit on the floor. It feels more homey.” She scooted over to make more room for him.
He stretched out his legs and leaned back on his elbows. The braided rug was rough against his palms. “You miss Indiana?”
The firelight illuminated her pensive expression. “Not really.” She hesitated. “It feels like we belong here. I know that sounds odd when we’re still strangers to the area, but it was like coming home.”
He sat up and scooted around to face her. “You asked me in the cellar why I wanted more land. What are your dreams, Lucy?”
Her eyes widened and she caught her lower lip between her teeth. “I’ve never had time to have a dream. I tried to keep my brother and sister safe from one day to the next, to feed and clothe them and make sure they were content.”
“I think something more than their welfare pushed you to agree to my father’s suggestion. If you dare to uncover it.” He studied her expression as he issued his challenge. So beautiful and yet he still hadn’t learned much about her.
She pulled her knees more tightly to her chest and propped her chin on them. “I want a family,” she said after a long pause. “I love Jed and Eileen, but they will go off on their own someday. I’ve never felt as though I belonged anywhere. I want a family and a home where I belong.”
He absorbed her words. “You’ve never felt you were in a place of permanence?”
Her eyes brightened. “That’s it exactly. I’ve felt that whatever state I’m in is bound to change soon. The very uncertainty has made me long for security. For a place that is all mine. A family I can nurture and love.” She swallowed.
Her words stirred something inside him, a nameless longing for what she talked about. “I’ve only had my father and my brother. Three grumpy men trying to rub along together as best as we could.”
She released her knees and knelt in front of him. “We want the same thing then, Nate. I think we can find it together if we try. We’re both—lonely.”
With a shock, he realized she was right. He’d always had his father around, but there weren’t many moments when he’d felt connected on more than a work level. “I didn’t realize I was lonely until you said it. How did you know?”
“I saw it in your eyes the first time Eileen took your hand,” she said softly.
“She’s too sweet to ignore.”
“You haven’t been around children much, have you?”
He shook his head and glanced toward the little girl, sleeping peacefully on her cot. One small fist was curled under her cheek. His heart contracted. “Only in the most casual way at church or the neighbors’.”
“You’re older than Roger?”
“By a year. We grew up together and were rounding up stray calves by the time we were eight.”
“I was cooking and cleaning like an adult by about that age myself.” She leaned a little closer. “Have you ever seen a real family in action? Both parents, children around the dinner table, everyone supportive of each other?”
It was difficult to think with her so close. He couldn’t look away from the intent expression in her blue eyes. “I don’t believe I have.”
“I saw a touch of it at my aunt’s house today. Though her husband is gone, his presence was felt. And my cousin is so close to her mother. I didn’t want to leave them.”
The O’Briens were his closest neighbors, and Margaret hardly had an ideal relationship with her father. On the other side were the Larsons, and he vaguely remembered going to dinner there when
he was a youngster. The table had been full, but conversation had been stilted. The children were expected to keep silent, and they’d eaten quietly, then were shooed outside to play.
“Do you think we can do a better job?” she asked, her voice wistful. “I read Little Women a few years ago, and I realized I wanted a family like that. One that laughed and played together.”
“Little Women? Is that a novel?”
She nodded eagerly. “I brought my copy with me if you’d like to read it. It’s about four sisters during the Civil War. I wanted to be part of that family. Even though they were as poor as me, they were rich in family. And their last name was March. That was close enough to Marsh to make them feel like my own sisters.”
“I’m not much of a reader. Other than the Bible.” He cleared his throat. “Though I’d read it if you’d like me to.”
“We’re going to do this, aren’t we, Nate? Become a family?”
“We are. It won’t be easy though. We’re still strangers. But I want to remedy that.” He glanced toward the table beside her chair. “I’d like us to start by reading the Bible together as a family in the evening.”
Her eyes went wide. “Oh, I’d like that! Where shall we start? Proverbs 31?”
He smiled. “I think the Bible has things to teach both of us, not just you. Let’s start in Ephesians.”
“I don’t quite remember what all is there. It’s about families?”
He nodded. “Husbands are told to love their wives. I’d like to learn to love you, Lucy. I don’t think it will be hard to do.”
Her face was only inches away. Her lips parted, and he caught a whiff of her sweet breath. A strong urge to kiss her overtook him. He didn’t realize his arms were on her shoulders until he felt the fabric of her dress under his palms.
He pulled her closer and bent his head. His lips touched hers and he inhaled the scent of lavender that surrounded her. She was soft and warm in his arms, and he drank in the sweetness of her kiss.
TWENTY
Pa didn’t look as bad as Nate had feared. He was sitting in the rocker on the porch with the cat on his lap when Nate helped Lucy down from the buggy. Cowboys stared as the sun lit her face. Nate moved to block their view. How long would it take to get used to the way other men stared at his wife? She sure was a pretty little thing.
“Take your sister to see the kittens in the barn,” he told Jed. “I’ll have Percy call when chow is ready.” The boy nodded and led Eileen off toward the barn. Several puppies with round bellies rolled together in the grass by the porch as he offered his arm to Lucy and escorted her to the house.
“You kids are a sight for sore eyes.” Henry pushed the cat to the porch. “Sit down and tell me what you’ve been up to.”
Nate noticed he didn’t get up. His dad’s color was still a little off too. He pulled two other chairs close to his father’s. “How you feeling, Pa?”
His father waved a big hand in the air. “Better than I can convince Percy. He’s about to drive me crazy. I’m not an invalid. He’s been fussing over me like I’m a newborn calf.” He stared at Lucy. “My boy treating you okay, Lucy?”
She arranged her skirts and looked up with a smile. “Of course. We’re getting settled in. I have the cabin cleaned and organized.”
His pa stared at her with an intent expression. “Good, good.”
Nate stretched his legs out in front of him. “Listen, Pa, we have a problem and we need your advice.”
“You haven’t had a fight already, have you?”
Nate grinned. “We’re fine. At least for now. But we had a break-in yesterday. Luckily, Lucy wasn’t home. I think we need to find a good private investigator.”
His father straightened. “Investigator?”
“Lucy, you want to explain?” he asked. She nodded, and Nate sat quietly as she went over how she came to be in possession of the coins.
His father didn’t speak until she was done. “I don’t see what the problem is, girl. Your pa bought them fair and square. The coins are part of his estate now. They belong to you.”
She shook her head. “They might not, though. What if the man who sold them to Dad got them illegally?” She glanced at Nate. “I was thinking about what you said, Nate. About how if they’d been stolen the true owner would have shown up with the police. But what if the man who sold them to my father was part of a gang and sold them by himself? His partners might be the ones trying to get them back.”
“If that were true, he wouldn’t have taken such a paltry sum for them. He would have known their worth.”
She chewed her lip. “I hadn’t thought of that. Perhaps you’re right.”
His father leaned over and patted her hand. “It’s admirable that you don’t want to possess illegal goods, Lucy, but don’t worry about it. I’m sure the law is on your side. Think what we could do to expand our holdings with that kind of money.”
“It’s Lucy’s property, Pa. She can do what she wants with it.”
His father’s expression turned thunderous. “Ridiculous,” he muttered. “A man knows what’s best for his family.”
Nate stared at his father. He’d never seen him take such a contemptuous tone toward women. But then, they hadn’t been around women much. “It’s Lucy’s say.”
“Is it the right thing to do?” Lucy asked. “I’m more concerned with what’s right than what’s legal.”
His father’s scowl deepened. “What will satisfy you? We will get this settled, then you can spend that money without qualms.”
Lucy glanced at Nate then back to his father. “To find out if anyone has reported them missing. That would help. And to see if the Indiana police know anything about the man who was killed.”
His father glanced at Nate, and Nate nodded. “That’s why I need a good investigator.”
“Or the police,” Lucy put in.
“You sure don’t want to talk to the sheriff here,” his pa said. “I’ll see what I can find out. An investigator might want to see the coins and take imprints so they can be identified. Can you bring them to me?”
Lucy tensed and Nate realized she didn’t want to unearth the coins. “Let’s see what the investigator has to say first. He might just need to know what they are. Jed said their father said they were 1804 Dexter dollars. That might be enough to track them.”
His pa’s lips tightened. “It might take a few days to hear back.”
His father was used to having his every command obeyed. He and Lucy were sure to tangle at some point. Nate wanted to be around when that happened. Two such strong-willed people couldn’t get along forever. “Thanks, Pa. Let us know what you hear.” He glanced at Lucy, who sat with her hands folded in her lap.
She held his gaze, then turned hers to his father. “I met my aunt and cousin yesterday.”
His father bristled. “I hope you didn’t allow them to smear your new name.”
“Of course not. They are much too genteel to air their grievances.”
“They have no grievances. Not against me or any other Stanton. I bought that land fair and square.”
Nate decided to change the subject before his father had another heart attack. “Any news on our bull?”
The older man shook his head. “I reckon we won’t get him back. Best be looking for a replacement. I hear Zeller has a strong bull with good lines he might be convinced to sell.”
“I’ll check it out. How much do you want to spend?”
His father shrugged. “Use your own judgment. We want our brand to mean something. If that means we have to pay big bucks for a proper bull, we will.”
Sure as the world, Nate would buy a bull, and his father would find fault with either the bull or the price. “When you’re feeling better, we’ll look at him together. I might go to Dallas and look at some at auction next month.”
“We need a replacement sooner than that.”
Nate started to argue, then decided against it. His father was determined to be obstinate today. Was it beca
use he saw his strength slipping away and wanted to exercise his control to compensate? Sympathy stirred in Nate’s chest. Someday he would be older and weaker too.
HENRY FOUND AN investigator but had said nothing more about needing to see the coins. Lucy tried not to think about them in the cellar for a few days. The men were out in the fields today but close by, so Lucy decided she would fix a nice noonday dinner for them. They were going to be cutting calves so they’d be tired and hungry when they came in. She set a chicken on to boil at eight, then cut noodles to dry.
Dinner was ready by one. Lucy kept glancing worriedly through the window but saw no sign of her menfolk. By one thirty she was becoming angry, and by two she was downright livid. In fact, if the men didn’t come in soon, the noodles would be overcooked and the chicken would be dry as chalk. It was the height of inconsideration to let this fine food go to waste.
“We might as well eat without them, Eileen.”
Lucy lifted her sister onto the chair, then ladled up rubbery noodles and stringy chicken. It tasted as bad as it looked. Eileen picked at her plate, and Lucy finally gave her a piece of warm bread spread with butter and jam. By the time she put Eileen down for her nap, Lucy’s anger was white-hot. She rehearsed all the things she would say to Nate when he got in. And Jed. He knew better.
She started to dump the remains of the meal into a dish to give Bridget when she got back with the men, then stopped and stared at the food. They would just have to eat it. Where she came from, food was a precious commodity. If it was not the best now, maybe that would teach Mr. Nate Stanton to be on time for a meal next time.
Lucy put the pan back on the stove to stay warm, then felt the clothes hanging around the cabin. They were dry, so she took them down and folded them. She carried Nate’s up the ladder to his room. His bed had not been made, and she clicked her tongue at her forgetfulness. She would have to remember tomorrow.
She threw the covers up over the bed, and her foot hit something under the bed. Curious, she knelt and peered in the darkness. A battered metal box, about six inches by eight inches, was the only thing under there. She laid a hand on the cool surface and pulled it to her. For a moment she hesitated. Maybe it was something private. But she was his wife, and they should have no secrets from one another.