Cami was staring at me expectedly, waiting for me to break the silence and pose the question I always did at this time. But I wasn’t feeling it.
“So how have you been?” I found myself asking instead. Small talk seemed like a safe route to take.
The alcohol was doing its job. I could feel it slowly seeping through my body as my bones felt incredibly hot and then numb as usual.
Cami was surprised by the conversation to be quite honest, I never bothered to ask her any questions normally—I was sure she was having a field day in her mind.
“Good…” she finally replied. I could see her agitation growing by the minute…unfortunately, I was enjoying it.
Just tell her you’re not feeling it and dip out. My inner voice had a point, but my legs were feeling like jello.
“Cami…how long have we known each other?” I spoke up again.
“Two years,” Cami answered, showing a hint of more interest.
“Two years—and do you know what? I don’t even know your last name.” It was true. In the two years I had known Cami I hadn’t bothered to find out anything about her. And yet, she hadn’t gotten the hint yet?
“It’s Trammel,” she said with a tight smile. I could tell she was growing more irritable by the second.
If there was one thing in the world Cami and I did have in common—it was our love for mind-blowing sex. But nothing, and I repeat, nothing compares to sex with the person you love.
There is added passion and heat; a different type of energy; and even a different type of communication. After experiencing sex with Maddy, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to settle for mind-blowing sex again when I could have the former.
Cami was staring half-expectedly at me and half-annoyed. And the only thing going through my mind? I wanted to apologize to Jacqueline for signing off without a goodbye after she was so open and honest with me. The one thing I had been so scared of was now the one thing pulling me back towards her like a magnet.
“What are you thinking about?” I heard Cami’s soft voice near my ear, her breath tickling me.
“A girl,” I replied, honestly.
Cami looked excited for a moment, assuming I was referring to her.
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” I blurted out, then was immediately met with a death glare from hell.
If looks could kill…
She remained silent—just staring me down with that icy stare of hers.
“Go fuck yourself,” she finally hissed before proceeding to pour the rest of her drink over my head. “Don’t bother calling Bennett, I won’t pick up!” She said angrily, still calling me by my last name, something she was used to doing in bed, before stomping out loudly.
You deserved that douche bag.
Seven – Leave a Message at the Tone
Jacqueline
Tonight was not a good night for me. Honesty was overrated. All I could think of was how I scared away the one guy I had seen potential in since Parker and had probably ruined my chances. Who would want to be with a broken bi-polar freak like me anyways?
My depression was kicking my ass quite literally and I felt like I had been run over by a train.
I spent over an hour attempting to curl my hair as a way to cheer myself up, but when the curls became difficult I threw the iron at the mirror; shattering it into a million pieces. Bad luck, I’ve heard.
I couldn’t trust myself tonight and some online distractions sounded like exactly what I needed.
Not expecting anything when I signed into Facebook, my breath caught in my throat from a message in my inbox from Lee.
My emotions were all over the place. I wanted to strangle him—I wanted to find out why—but most of all, I was curious.
I opened the message against my better judgment.
I’m an ass—I’m sorry. Forgive me?
It was short and sweet and to the point. I found myself smiling, but then remembered how he had been making me feel the past few days.
Yeah you are.
It seemed simple enough, until I noticed that Lee was online and my heart rate spiked again. I could tell he was already writing back.
Tell me how much of an asshole I am over the phone. 808-337-4986.
He was making my blood boil. You’re not ready for that.
Try me, he replied.
I almost felt bad for him. If he even saw what I had done to my mirror, he would have run the other way. But I wasn’t one to break away from a challenge, so before I even processed what I was doing—I was dialing the number he had given me.
“Whoa, I didn’t expect you to actually call me. I figured you would text—but hi,” he answered in one long breath. His voice was sexy and mysterious. But I couldn’t forget why I had bothered to make the phone call in the first place.
“You’re an ass,” I blurted into the phone. Somehow, it didn’t make me feel any better.
“We’ve established this already. You sound sexy when you’re mad,” Lee replied; which only fueled my rage more. Was he making fun of me?
“I think I’m going to go before I say something I’m going to regret,” I began to hang up the phone when I heard Lee interject.
“Awww, but where would be the fun in that?” He asked in a low voice.
This boy was driving me crazy. “Is everything a joke to you?” I asked dryly.
“No Mrs. Serious Pants—but would it kill you to lighten up?” He was pushing my buttons—one more push—and I wasn’t going to be able to contain my anger and frustration—I was going to go postal on him.
“You’re walking a thin line—better check yourself,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Before I wreck myself?” Lee asked, and I could clearly picture the grin plastered across his face as he delivered that line.
He was met with a disconnection.
Eight – Surprises and Sucker Punches
Lee
“It feels like we haven’t seen you in forever man.” Avery releases me from his hug so Austyn can take her turn at me.
She practically topples me over as she jumps on me and gives me the tightest hug ever. I can’t help but chuckling. “I missed you too.”
I have been traveling almost non-stop since the cruise where Austyn met Avery—and while they’ve spent almost every waking moment together since and their relationship has only blossomed…I’ve made sure not to stop moving. When I do, I am forced to remember that I can’t have my happy ending like that. Taylor is not here to enjoy it with me. I wonder when the day will come when she doesn’t cross my mind a million times or where I don’t picture her face before I go to bed at night.
“We’ve been worried about you,” Austyn says softly.
I scoff loudly and obnoxiously. “You’re worried about me? Tell me little cousin, what has got you so riled up?”
“Have you been drinking?” Her eyes squint as she tries to make the assessment of me.
I had. On the plane I had managed to flirt my way into three complimentary travel bottles of vodka. I made sure they didn’t go to waste. I might have joined the mile high club with the stewardess who had snuck them to me…but I was not telling.
Austyn has somehow managed to inch closer to me, inhaling my breath. “Oh my God, you are drunk!”
I roll my eyes. “And you’re overreacting mother.
Austyn glares back at me. “Don’t play the asshole Lee, leave it to the experienced.”
It is like a punch in the gut to hear her say this.
“We’re worried about your drinking.” It is Avery who speaks now, but his voice stays low and calm.
“Why?” I press. “Because I have the occasional beer with dinner? Whoopty-doo.”
“It’s more like a case of beer with dinner,” Austyn says gently.
“I’m a drunk—so what?” I want nothing more than to shut the conversation down altogether.
“You need help Lee,” Austyn continues, “You’re an alcoholic.”
I shoot a glare in h
er direction. I can’t believe she just went there. “I’m out of here!” I reply huffily, grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair.
“Don’t you ever want to settle down Lee? Start a family…fall in love?” The way she asks the questions make it seem like I had never fallen in love the first time. Like Taylor’s entire existence was a lie. It breaks my heart.
“I found love—and it was stolen away from me,” I hiss through gritted teeth.
“Look man, she is only trying to help,” Avery takes a stand between us.
“Well you can tell her to mind her own business—in fact, why don’t you heed that advice as well?” My words feel like venom as I spit them at my cousin and best friend.
“Don’t do this Lee, you know we didn’t mean any harm,” Avery warns me, still calm during the storm.
“Too late,” is all I get out as I slam their front door and walk out into the snow.
I had been thinking about Jacqueline a lot since she hung up on me. I didn’t know what it was, but there was something about her feistiness that drew me in like a magnet.
I loved that she was unpredictable. I loved the fact that she would keep me on my toes. I felt like being spontaneous and enduring the consequences later, so I booked a surprise last minute flight to Montana.
I had every intention on discussing the idea with Jacqueline—but before I knew it, I was at the airport, backpack in tow.
When my feet hit the ground in Montana I dialed her number.
No answer.
I deserved that. I did. I dialed it again, anxiously, hoping she didn’t look at me as some kind of desperate freak.
Still no answer.
I decided to resort to texts. I’m in Montana—surprise.
She responded within seconds. Um what?
I figured an apology in person was necessary. It seemed like the most foolproof way to get her to agree to meet me.
Are you insane? She asked.
I surely hope not, I joked back.
You really hopped a flight to Montana to apologize for being an ass?
Yes?
Her answer took me by surprise. Well you certainly get brownie points for the stunt.
I smiled to myself, excited she wasn’t going to continue snubbing me. So you going to come pick me up or leave me stranded at the airport all by my lonesome?
Do you have a place to stay? She asked, without bothering to answer my previous question.
I’m not completely inept, I responded. I booked a hotel room.
How long are you planning on staying?
Could you just cool it with the questions—and come pick me up? Or are you stalling for other reasons? I could imagine her cheeks turning a rosy pink at this.
Be there in twenty; and she wasn’t kidding; no later than twenty minutes after our texting session had seized and I could see her walking up to me through the crowd of people.
Her blue eyes and blond hair stunned me to silence for a moment. I broke into a wide grin, unable to contain myself. She was better looking in person than I had pictured. She was wearing a red peacoat and brown leggings paired with tan cowgirl boots. Her straight, long blond hair cascaded over her shoulders effortlessly.
“Jacqueline?” I asked, even though there was no doubt in my mind that it was her.
“You can call me Jacquie you know,” she giggled nervously.
“Jacquie, I’m Lee and I’m a recovering ass.” I took her soft, delicate hand in mine and kissed it gently.
She chuckled some more. Seeing her smile was enough for me. It made my trip worthwhile.
I don’t know what came over me. Like I said she was a magnet and before I could stop myself I had mashed my lips to hers. I felt her surprise, then a moment of reprieve. The warm and fuzzy feeling I instantly felt throughout my body was numbed when I felt her rip her lips away from mine and deck me right across the jaw.
Could you fault me for trying?
Nine – A Bet Lost
Jacqueline
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked, incredulously.
To be honest, it hadn’t angered me in the slightest. It had just taken me off guard. In fact, I was positive Lee noticed me begin to kiss him back. But he had no right to be kissing me like that. We knew hardly anything about one another and I felt like he thought I was easy.
I mean, how many other girls had fallen for his smooth ways?
He rubbed his jaw, his facial expression a mix of shock and amusement; his hazel eyes shining even brighter. “You have one hell of a right hook.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. He looked so innocent, so powerless in the moment. I broke out into a round of chuckles. “Come on Smooth Operator, I’m going to show you where I live.” And with that I turned on my heel—leaving him wide-eyed and open mouthed behind me.
When we were both buckled in and on the road, Lee broke the silence. “You’re like the craziest girl I’ve ever met.” My heart dropped into my stomach.
This was it—he hadn’t even set foot in my state for longer than thirty minutes and I had already scared him off. I was really some kind of freak.
I slammed on my breaks, causing Lee’s body to jerk forward. He put his hands up to stop him from flying into the dashboard. “Just rip it off.” Was all I said as I stared at him, unable to move.
His eyes grew wider when he saw the lights of cars behind us. They were honking, swerving, cussing, and passing us. “Are you really going to sit here—in the middle of the road? You’re going to get us killed!” There was real fear in his voice and it was enough to feel validated.
“If you’re going to break up with me—you should just do it now. Get it over with.” I looked him in the eyes this time.
“What? We’re not even dating…” Was all he could muster up in response. He was still nervously watching the commotion in the rearview.
I had created quite the pile-up. Cars were flashing their brights, honking, and motioning me to get off the road.
I stifled a laugh and floored it out of there.
“You’re insane,” Lee said again, only this time it was in a low whisper.
I tore my eyes off the road to meet his, watching as mischief and mystery danced across them. I might have been hallucinating, but I think I also saw Lee turned on. He kept biting his lip, and running his hand over his fuzzy shaved head.
“Pull over.”
“What?” I asked, puzzled as to what his motives were.
“Pull over,” he repeated in the exact same tone and I kid you not—I had never been more turned on in my life.
Before I knew it, I had taken his advice and we were parked outside a local park I used to frequent. It was late, around eight at night and it was dark; not pitch dark though. There were no patrons around. I put the car in park and was sure my heartbeat could be heard across the world.
Lee unbuckled his seatbelt when I parked and shifted in his seat to face me. “I’m not going to kiss you again until you ask for it.”
I looked at him, my jaw down to my knees. “What makes you think I would let you kiss me again?” It was all I had been fantasizing about since he had stolen the first kiss from me. It consumed my every thought. But I was not going to tell him that. I was going to remain strong.
“Oh, when I’m done with you—you’re going to be begging for it,” he said in the cockiest tone I had ever heard.
“Cocky much?” I asked, snidely.
“Confident,” Lee responded calmly, grinning back at me.
And then I could feel his warm breath in the crook of my neck, just below my ear, dancing on my skin. My breathing became shallow, and I wondered how he knew where my spot was instantly and the crazy things it would do to me.
If his lips or tongue made their way anywhere towards my neck I was a goner for sure.
I was holding my own. My poker face had not wavered, but my madly beating heart and breathing were a dead giveaway.
“How ya doing over there?” Lee whispered in my ear.
>
“I’m fine, absolutely fine,” I gulped out, attempting to sound confident.
That’s when his lips found the bottom of my ear and he kissed it and gently sucked on it, causing me to literally bite my tongue off as I squealed with pleasure.