It was my second day in Missoula, and Jacqueline had managed to get the day off so we could spend some more time getting to know one another. We bundled up because the weather man predicted snow and then I convinced her to take me snowboarding. Turns out she had never been before.
“So wait, you’re telling me you’ve never been snowboarding before?” I asked, staring her down like she had two heads.
She shook her head no.
“What about skiing?” I asked, as we drove to what Jacqueline called “Snowbowl”.
Again she remained mute, just shaking her head.
“Sledding?”
She didn’t bother acknowledging my question this time. Just looked forward with an uncomfortable, sad expression etched across her face.
Instantly I felt guilty. “Hey,” I said lightly, grabbing her left hand in mine. “I’m sorry for pushing.”
She glanced at me quickly with a fake smile, then back to the road. “I didn’t have the greatest upbringing. I haven’t experienced a lot of things—sometimes I feel extremely naïve in this big, bad, world.”
“That sounds like a challenge,” I replied, my mind racing. “What else haven’t you done?”
“That list could go on forever,” she laughed uncomfortably.
“Give me a few.”
She sighed, exhaling loudly. “Camping, flying, swimming.”
I looked back at her, unable to hide my shock.
“I didn’t have role models to teach me those things…not to mention I have about one friend in the world.” Her response sounded so sad it tugged at my heart strings.
“That’s a lie…and you know it. You have at least four friends in this world.”
I watched as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry, make that four…they can still be counted on one hand…”
I hadn’t realized I was still holding onto her hand. I squeezed it lightly then. “You have so much time.”
She nodded, without bothering to respond.
I couldn’t imagine my life without adventure, risk, or adrenaline. It saddened me that Jacqueline hadn’t been able to experience any of those things I had taken for granted…but I vowed I was going to be the one to change it all.
“Tell me about your family,” I said, realizing I knew very little of Jacqueline. Everything had been such a whirlwind I hadn’t even stopped for a moment to take it all in. I knew she had kind of dated Parker, lived in Montana, loved horses, was bipolar, and beautiful. But that was about it. “Do you have any siblings?”
“No,” she said stiffly. “My mother is in jail and my father skipped out when I was a little girl.”
It was all beginning to fall into place. No wonder she hadn’t experienced anything in life. “Who do you spend the Holidays with?” I asked, knowing Christmas was weeks away.
“My best friend Travis and his family. I’ve been doing that since I was emancipated.”
I inhaled deeply.
“Too much for you to take in?” Jacqueline asked, looking back at me.
I shook my head no before answering. “It’s just sad.”
“Please don’t,” Jacqueline said softly.
“What?”
“Please don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve accepted my shitty life and existence and when people begin pitying me it just takes me three steps back.”
I swallowed silently. She was more broken than I had anticipated. “Tell me about Travis,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood.
“He’s been there for me since the beginning. He’s seen me at my best and worst and still accepts me. He’s the best person I know.” The way she spoke about him, and the way her eyes lit up made me worry there was more to their friendship than she let on.
“Have you two ever…” I trailed off, my mind racing with all the possibilities.
She basically scoffed in my face. “Travis and me? No…we’re just friends and that’s all we’ve ever been. He’s like my brother…”
It eased a little of my tension, but I still wondered how Travis felt about their friendship. I had trouble being friends with females without someone’s feelings and heart getting involved.
“Enough about me,” she said suddenly, catching me off guard. “Tell me something about you.”
“What do you want to know?” I asked, eying her curiously.
“Anything.”
I racked my brain for something, anything I could tell her of the same caliber to what she shared with me. “When I was fifteen, my mother said she was going to the store for milk and would be right back. I never saw her again…”
I had never told anyone that story. Not even Madalynne. Sharing the story with Jacqueline felt right. Especially with how much she had been through in her life.
“I’m sorry…” she replied almost instantly, an empathetic look taking over her face.
“For the first few years I blamed myself for her disappearance, wondering if there was something I could have done. I had no idea if she left our family by choice or if something terrible happened to her.” Remembering that dark time had tears stinging the back of my eyes. I quickly looked out my window, determined to blink them back.
Jacqueline remained quiet, almost willing me to continue telling my story.
“It affected my brother worse. He was only nine at the time. He searched for her for close to ten years before my father convinced him she was never coming back. My father has since remarried…but not knowing what really happened to her almost destroyed us all in different ways.”
Jacqueline was the one squeezing my hand then. Letting me know she was there for me. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For sharing something so personal with me. I know how difficult it must have been to tell me that.” She smiled lightly at me.
I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it gently then.
“We’re here,” she whispered as we pulled up to the enormous mountain where we would be spending the day in the snow.
It was packed and buzzing as we exited her car and headed towards the entrance.
***
“Fuck snowboarding, fuck you, and fuck this!” Jacqueline hissed at me, her face red from the wind. I couldn’t help but laugh. It had to be the tenth time she had fallen on her butt. I never said snowboarding was going to be a piece of cake—and I had taught handfuls of friends the sport…but I had underestimated her.
She was spicy, bullheaded, and impatient. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…but I never pictured you a quitter.”
I saw rage cross her eyes under her goggles. “Quitting?” She basically screamed back at me. “I’ve fallen on my ass more times than I can count because of you! Not to mention I can’t even feel my fingers or toes—and it’s all your fault.”
I chuckled again. “So, you don’t enjoy snowboarding…but at least you got to experience it, right? Let’s focus on the positives here.”
“Stop laughing at me!” She shoved me angrily before stomping off in the opposite direction, away from her board, leaving it beside me.
“Jacqueline! I can’t carry both boards!” I yelled to her turned back.
“This was your idea genius, figure it out!” I heard her yell back over her shoulder.
I shook my head. Bi-polar didn’t suit her. And as much as I was beginning to fall for her, her mood swings were a huge turn-off for me. What I had anticipated to be a fun day had turned into a cold, irritating day. I wanted nothing more to be bundled up inside my hotel room, away from her whiny voice.
After managing to carry both boards, I turned in all my gear and found Jacqueline standing outside of her car smoking a cigarette. “I didn’t know you smoked,” I said as I approached slowly.
“I don’t.” She answered simply, taking another drag off the cancer stick.
“Then why are you now?” I asked, taking it out of her lips, and throwing it into the snow. Smoking cigarettes was a huge turn-off to me. That smell could seep into anything—hair, skin, clothes, her mouth.
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“What the hell?” She pushed me again roughly.
“You can stop being a bitch now.” I was losing my patience with her, one word at a time. “You know very well I had not anticipated you having such a terrible time at the mountain. I was only trying to enjoy our time together.”
She slapped me then, it was so loud, I was sure it was the smack heard around the world. I rubbed my face, gingerly. “I think I’ve had just about enough of your bi-polar ways for one day.” I didn’t bother giving her another glance as I climbed in the car.
“Oh no you don’t!” She screamed as she raced to my door, which I swiftly locked. She was banging on it. “Get out of my car!”
She was causing a scene and I watched as bystanders began to take interest into our little fight. After she became aware of the fact she hastily climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Get the fuck out of my car!” She was still screaming at me, but now we were in close proximity.
“Or what? You’ve already mastered slapping, pushing, punching...what else could you possibly do to me?” I knew my words had made an impact when I saw her look away quickly.
She started the car then, and we drove the entire way back in silence. I was surprised when I heard her sniffle. I looked over at her and realized she was crying. Even though she was the one in the wrong, my exterior suddenly softened at the sight of her crying. I didn’t say anything, just rubbed her hand softly which was resting on the gear shift.
When she pulled up to my hotel, I reached for the handle when she stopped me by throwing out her arm in front of me. “I’m fucked up…I know that. I’m sorry for being a bitch.”
“It’s okay,” I said out of habit.
“No it’s not. You didn’t deserve any of that back there. I really appreciate you trying to help me experience life more.” Tears were falling down her cheeks now and she was having trouble speaking without awkward pauses.
“To be fair, you did warn me…”
“It’s no excuse. I am going to begin taking my medicine again.” She wiped away her tears with the back of her sleeve.
“Why did you stop taking them?” I asked, curiously.
“They turn me into a zombie; devoid of any sort of feeling. They make me feel empty.”
“But would you rather be stable or unstable?” I asked the necessary question.
She shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter anymore…I obviously can’t be trusted off them. Plus Travis has been trying to convince me to get back on them for years.”
The thought that her best friend had attempted to help her for years and she tuned it out—only to listen to me, a stranger, intrigued me.
“Do you want to come in?” I found myself asking.
“I think I’ve done enough damage for one night,” she said softly, staring out her side window.
“Yeah, but I forgive you and I want to spend more time getting to know you.” I didn’t know why I was letting her off the hook so easily…but knowing somewhat of her troubled past, I couldn’t fathom not going easy on her.
“You’re wasting your time,” she replied.
I grabbed her chin then, tilting it towards me. “You’re not a waste of time to me. You’re not a lost cause. I’m telling you I forgive you and want to spend more time with you…now are you coming in or not?”
I didn’t have to ask again…she was out of the car quicker than I could have ever imagined. I guess I got my answer…
Thirteen – Don’t Look Back
Jacqueline
My breathing intensified, coming out in short stints. His fingers were cupping my face in the most delicate way. Our lips had been tangled up in one another’s since he invited me up and we hadn’t even taken a break.
We had been rolling back and forth on the queen bed, my legs entangled with his.
So far Lee had been the upmost gentleman, only kissing me passionately and deeply. He had stayed well behaved and his hands had remained in my hair or on my face, but I could tell he was getting worked up by each and every nibble on his lip, tug on his hair.
He was pressing into me with each and every kiss as if trying to discover new territory.
He climbed on top of me then, his hand sliding slowly down my arm, reaching for my shirt. He hadn’t missed a beat, still kissing me deeply.
His hands were reaching for the bottom of my sweater, sliding softly across my hip, making me shiver.
I hadn’t intended for it to go this far. In fact, I was pretty sure I wanted to wait a bit longer before going all the way. But while my mind was saying no, my body was saying the opposite. I found myself allowing Lee to remove my sweater revealing my black lacy bra.
He wasted no time kissing my shoulder gingerly before removing my bra straps, letting my breasts fall out naturally.
I saw the hunger in Lee’s eyes, the intensity—it was the same as the first night, the one in my car—but more so.
Lee took one of my breasts in his mouth and sucked and tugged gently on the nipple with his teeth, making me moan out with pleasure.
He was trailing my neck then with his tongue making me stir and shake against his touch. I was grinding against him.
He twirled me around so I was on top and I quickly lowered my lips to his, sucking gently on his bottom lip. I took note as he pressed roughly into me. His erect penis was hard to ignore.
Stop.
My mind was trying to convince me, knowing he wasn’t ready to experience all of me yet.
My loud moans kept me in place, making me forget why I wasn’t going to allow this to happen.
It wasn’t even until he reached for my belt that the sense finally got knocked into me.
“I can’t do this…” I trailed off breathlessly.
“What?” Lee asked, exasperated.
“You heard me. I can’t do this. I’m not ready.”
Lee looked at me incredulously, then back to the crotch of his pants. I had undoubtedly left him with blue balls.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Lee grumbled upset.
“I’ll let myself out.” And that’s exactly what I did after gathering my clothes, I made a swift exit without another glance.
***
Our time together was coming to its end and as diligent as I had been, I wasn’t sure I could hold him off this time, so I dressed in my sexiest stockings along with my lacy bra and matching panties. As long as he didn’t see my legs, it was fine.
We were at my house, on my couch aggressively making out.
Lee had come over hours earlier and we had watched Anchorman before jumping each other. He was laying on top of me, thrusting into me as he pressed his lips against mine.
Our tongues had aggressively wrestled until he softly took my bottom lip between his teeth and sucked on it lightly, causing me to moan out with pleasure.
I didn’t wait for Lee to take the lead then. I quickly pulled his sweatshirt off, surprising him. He was smiling naughtily back at me. He kissed me quickly then.
I ran my hands over his wife beater and his dark chest. Gripping my fingernails into his shoulder anytime he thrust against me.
He lifted my long sleeve shirt along with my tank right off in one fell swoop. Then laid me back down and pressed his lips gently along my stomach and then along my collarbone, raising goose bumps all over my body.
He picked me up, lifting me effortlessly into the air and carried me to my bedroom. He went to reach for the light, when I stopped him. “Don’t.”
He didn’t seem to pay it any mind. Just carried me to the middle of the room and then laid me gently on the bed.
He climbed on top of me in the darkness and we continued to make out passionately.
I felt his hands at the button of my jeans, but didn’t stop him his time—my hands were following his instruction.
I could feel the soft fabric of his boxer briefs as well as the hardness and stiffness of his dick.
I gently grazed the erect tip with my hand, enough to drive him crazy.
r /> My pants were off without another blink.
His fingers were exploring every inch of me and just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore he was kissing the inside of my thighs—making every inch of me tremble with pleasure.
And then I felt it—intense gratification, my body jerking violently from it.
The heat only increased from there as I felt him enter me, a burning, intense, rough pleasure unlike any other.
He was rubbing his hands up and down my stockings unaware they hid my scars. He was thrusting deeper and I was pulling him in closer, wrapping my legs around his body, only bringing us tighter.