orto wear!"
"That's impossible. DoItAlls never break down."
"We can't live without it!" screeched Cousin Aurelia. "We're millions ofmiles from Boston! We're marooned with that monster!"
* * * * *
Burgee's long, low house was indecently plain, without even so much as agimcrack or bit of gingerbread decoration. Its many wide windows lookedout over a lake set with islands. Its living room had broad, cushionedcouches and indolent chairs--all suspiciously comfortable.
In exactly such houses, Charles knew, in the wicked old days, a fateworse than death had been practically part of the fixtures.
"We shouldn't have let him persuade us," he worriedly told Betty."Perhaps we'd have starved, but at least Cousin Aurelia wouldn't havelocked herself alone into a strange pirate's bedroom!"
"We've been here all afternoon," Betty pointed out, "and he hasn't triedanything yet. Besides, he helped carry those cases of hers and he gaveher the keys himself. It's peculiar. Oh, Charles, do you supposethat--that it's _me_ he's after?"
Before he could answer, a robot came in, a practical, old-fashionedmodel with four arms for waiting at table.
"Dinner is served." It snapped its aluminum jaws. "Come to the diningroom, please."
Reluctantly, they obeyed.
"Whatever you do," whispered Charles warningly at the door, "don't lethim ply you with liquor."
The captain stood at the head of the table. He was in full eveningdress, with a heavy gold-nugget watch chain across his muscular middle.He smelled faintly of mothballs and looked very respectable.
The Buttons examined the table. There wasn't a sign of absinthe orbrandy or even champagne. There was nothing but water.
"It's too bad your cousin won't join us," said the captain, seating themcourteously. "I hope those cartons of hers have something tasty insidethem."
"They contain Dr. Stringfellow's Vegetable Remedy and Tonic forGentlewomen," replied Betty primly. "It is said to be very nourishing."
Their host shuddered. Recovering, he clapped his hands sharply. "Oh,steward!"
"Aye, aye, sir!" said the robot, appearing with a big silver tureen andsetting it down on the table.
The Buttons drew back.
"I can see you don't trust me," laughed the captain. "So we'll serveeverything out in plain sight. You can shuffle the plates if you wantto." He proceeded to ladle out a clear, fragrant soup. "There. Takewhichever you want."
The Buttons selected their plates. They picked up their spoons, dippedthem nervously, made rowing motions.
The captain ate heartily, talking away between spoonfuls. He told themthat Sugar Plum was surrounded by an ionized layer impervious to DoItAllwaves. He said he had no use for such gadgets, or for the Age whichproduced them.
"And why," he demanded, "did we become fake Victorians? Why are we worsethan the real ones? I'll tell you. Because space was too big. It madepeople feel puny. They wanted a hole to crawl into--something small,safe and stuffy."
As course followed course, he told them how he had retired from piracyafter homesteading Sugar Plum. Alone with his robots, he had dismantledhis vessel, using its engines for heating and lighting. He had done agood deal of exploring.
The robot served something like lobster, and something like grouse, anda roast which might have been venison. It served vegetables in pink,pear-like clusters and long, golden pods. It served a crisp, succulentsalad.
Charles picked at his food, watching Betty with growing uneasiness.First, her appetite seemed to improve. Then her eyes started to sparkle,and the severe little corners of her mouth began to relax. Leaningforward intently, she became more and more absorbed in the captain.
"--and so here I've been ever since," he said, as he finished his salad,"and Sugar Plum's just about perfect. Of course, it gets lonely attimes, but--"
Abruptly, Betty's hand darted out, grabbed the captain's beard.
"_Beaver!_" she shouted, laughing and pulling. Then she settled back,blushing. "I've wanted to do that for years."
Charles reeled. Here was a crisis! He started to rise; hesitated. Ofcourse, he was shocked to the core, but, "Great Scott, she's pretty!" hethought; and at once he felt guilty.
He stood up, trying hard to look angry.
"Elizabeth," he announced, "you will leave this room--er--instantly."
"Why?" giggled Betty.
"Because _ladies_ do not pull gentlemen's beards."
The captain was holding his sides and rocking with laughter.
"Now, now," he protested. "Let her get it out of her system. 'Beaver's'a splendid old custom. It's almost Victorian."
Betty dimpled, resting her chin on the backs of her interlaced hands."Don't pay any attention, Captain Burgee. Charlie's a horrid oldfuss-pot. Why shouldn't I yank at your beard? I like you."
"Betty, the man is a _pirate_!"
"Not any more. He's retired. You heard him say so yourself. Anyhow, Ilike him. I think he'd make an awfully nice husband for Cousin Aurelia."
Charles reached for the water, and drained his glass in a splutteringgulp.
"I think so, too," the captain agreed, looking pleased. "I thought so assoon as I saw her. She's exactly my type." He sighed. "But she does seema little unfriendly. Do you suppose a guitar and some old-fashionedsongs at her window might--well, make her want to get betteracquainted?"
Charles thought, "Not that sour old prune!" Surprised at himself, heswallowed the words just in time.
Betty snickered. "Poor Cousin Aurelia! I simply can't get over herstaying locked in with nothing but Vegetable Remedy. Why, it tastes justlike shoe polish. And it's all because she's scared to death to eat ordrink anything here. She believes that Sugar Plum's really an--anuninhibited planet!"
She stopped. She stared at the captain. "What's the matter?"
"I'm afraid," he said, looking very serious, "that you don't understand.Your Cousin Aurelia is right."
Betty wilted. "You can't mean it!"
"I don't know exactly what does it. Maybe it's something in the waterand air and food--"
Charles stared at the plates on the table in horror.
"It's nothing you need be afraid of," the captain went on. "You see, itseffect just depends on the kind of person you are way inside."
Betty began to perk up. She eyed Charles appraisingly.
"Is Charles the right kind of person?" she asked.
"I'm sure he is, and your cousin is, too, though she keeps it prettywell hidden. If they weren't, Sugar Plum would soon let us know it,believe me." He grinned. "And now let's all go a-courtin'. I'll get myguitar and call Herman."
He went to the door and whistled, and instantly a large reddish creaturecame lolloping in. It saw the guitar and blinked eagerly.
Betty linked her arm in the captain's. "Come along, Charlie."
Charles fumbled around. He was scared.
Then Betty looked over her shoulder and smiled. It was a completely newsmile. He had never seen it before. It made him tremble withapprehension.
"You know," she said softly, "I think it'll sort of be fun beinguninhibited."
Charles knocked over a glass, and his chair, and he paused only to drinksome more water.
"So," he shouted, "do I!"
"I suspected you might," said the captain.
* * * * *
Together they went out on the porch and sat down in a swing; and, for afew moments, in silence, they watched Sugar Plum's two moons sailingthrough the strange, perfumed sky. The larger was celadon green; thesmaller, off-white, was glowing, gleaming.
Finally, "Cousin Aurelia?" called Betty.
"Betty, are you out in the dark with that man?"
"Charles and I both are. But he isn't a pirate any more and he's reallyquite nice. Besides, he's going to sing to you."
"You tell him to go away--far away. I've barricaded the window and Ihave my sharp scissors. I warn you, if he makes one false move--"
"This is where
I came in," remarked Charles.
The captain settled back, tuned his guitar, and started to sing in awarm bass-baritone, with Herman whistling a tenor obbligato through hisnose. Betty and Charles thought the effect was charming, even if Hermandid tend to go a bit flat on the high notes.
First, the captain sang _Down by the Old Mill Stream_ and _SweetGenevieve_. Then he tried a number of sentimental arias from the