"I'll do my best, Cupcake, but I can't make any promises. You know how they are."
"I do, so thank you for whatever you can do."
"You bet."
He leans down and presses a soft kiss to my lips. "You're going to be great, Luce. Trust me, okay. Believe in your talent. Own that shit. Sing your fucking heart out, just like you did on the fake stage."
I nod. "I love you."
One side of his mouth kicks up in a half smile. "I love you too."
Meggie sighs then bats her eyelashes at me. "He is so very dreamy."
I laugh. "Oh fuck off you bitch."
"Nice mouth, Lucy. What if the press had been standing there?" Cage admonishes.
Now that I feel three inches tall…
"Sorry."
"You have to be careful. They're just looking for a reason now. You're a target with all the shit going on."
I nod. "I said sorry and I meant it."
He nods. "We've got to keep this under control and that means I'm going to be tough on you. I don't want to, but I have to. I don't like what's happening to you and since you're one of mine, I'm going to do what it takes to make sure it stops today."
"Thank you, Cage."
He nods. "Let's go. We're all set up." He gives me a sidelong glance. "Celeste, Spenser, Carmen, and Simone are already back there."
I cringe. "You know, I'd say I was sorry about stealing her, but that'd be a lie and I don't like to lie to people I care about."
He nods and smirks--just barely. All business today. I look at Sera who raises her eyebrows. I just shrug.
We get to the back room where Cage has us set up for the day and Spenser and the girls rush forward.
"Good. Nice choice in outfit."
I look down at my skinny jeans, black boots, and black Avenged Sevenfold tank layered with a pink one..
"Just a touch up on the hair and a smidge of liner on the eyes."
"Wow, I did pretty good today."
"Nicely done, Lucy. Sera--" he pauses. "Get in there with Simone now. You need serious work."
"And to think you called me a bitch."
"Huh," is all I can think to say.
Carmen comes at me with eyeliner and eye shadow, then runs a flat iron over my hair before a quick spritz of Spenser's magic spray.
Spenser works on Jace's hair a bit while Carmen heads over to Meggie. Sera walks out fifteen minutes later looking like a million bucks and Simone moves to Trace. She looks him up and down. His black hair is cut short, a lot like Jesse's is now. He's wearing an Volbeat t-shirt, worn jeans, and boots. He is the definition of a true rocker.
"Wow," she whispers.
"Pretty, isn't he?" I ask.
"Yeah. Those green eyes and those thick lashes. Whew," she mutters as she walks off and Trace grins.
"I'd kill for your eyelashes," I tell him.
"Kill for your boyfriend's," Spenser grumbles.
"Yeah, his too. Why is it men have such awesome eyelashes and we have to mascara the hell out of ours to try to even come close?" Meggie asks.
"No clue," Sera replies.
Celeste and I go over times and schedules and PR stuff. I have no idea what she's talking about so I hand her my phone with my calendar, itinerary, and email. She walks off to the conference room and takes a seat, getting right to work. I already love her.
Jesse catches my gaze and smirks.
"Lips!" Spenser announces.
"Kiss first," Jesse interrupts and gives me a gentle lingering kiss. "You've got this."
I nod. "We totally do."
"That's my girl."
Spenser whips out some pale pink lip gloss that smells like bubble gum.
"Hey Spense, you got any of that strawberry flavored lip gloss Lucy wore that one night…" I hear Jesse ask and I laugh.
"All right people, let's go," Cage directs and the members of Blush head into the sound room.
I grab the headset resting on the stool in front of my mic and wrap it around my neck.
"Here's what's happening. Right there," he points, "is the camera. There's another back by Trace and another over behind Meggie. All three will be on and all three will be live. We're going to keep it live for the first hour to give the public a taste of what you're made of."
"Those fuckers will be eating their words," Trace says with a nod at me. I smile and give him wink. He points his drumstick. "We got this shit."
I look to Jace who grins. "Whitney whore is going down." I breathe a sigh of relief at his words. I was so worried he was angry with me.
Meggie adjusts her guitar strap and bounces on her toes. A pink and purple guitar with her name written in cursive beneath the strings. Classic Megs.
Sera tilts her neck one way, then the other, cracking and stretching. Hot pink guitar slung over her shoulder, she lifts her arms and stretches out her back and sides. It's her routine. Next she leans forward, careful of her guitar as she touches her toes.
"Two minutes," I hear Cage say through the sound system. I hadn't even realized he left the room. I see Damian out there and he gives me a wink. I smile and wink back. He's such a sweet guy. It'll be fun touring with him when the time comes.
"One minute. Act natural. Either I or Nate here will tell you what's going on. Thirty seconds."
I adjust the headset, leaving one ear uncovered so I can hear what's going on around me.
Cage holds up three fingers, then two, then one. He mouths live.
"Let's start with Breathe," Nate tells us. "We'll play it straight through then see if we need adjustments. This isn't the way normal recording sessions go but it's what we've got for the first hour.
I nod and adjust the headset over my ears. "Trace count us off?"
He hits his sticks and we're off.
I felt your stare and I wanted to run"
I felt your glare and under the mid-day sun
When I walked on by I saw your eyes close
When you breathed me in, I froze
My heart stops whenever you're near
My senses are crazed out of fear
Fear for my vulnerable very breakable heart
Falling for you wouldn't be smart
I breathe you in as I stand next to you
I breathe you in as you tell me what you feel is true
I breathe you in when you tell me it's love
I breathe you in but it's never enough
It's never enough.
I'll always want more than you can give
You'll always hurt me more than I can forgive
I want a love that's true
I'm sorry to say that isn't you
No matter how much
I breathe you in as I stand next to you
I breathe you in as you tell me what you feel is true
I breathe you in when you tell me it's love
I breathe you in but it's never enough.
It's never enough.
You can't give me love.
It'll never be enough
"Great job," Cage tells us as the last chord fades.
"Nice guys," I say looking back.
"Hell fucking yeah," Trace says and I let out a laugh, Meggie, Sera, and Jace joining in. There's no censoring this feed.
I look at Jesse through the glass who's standing with his arms crossed over his chest, one side of his mouth tipped up in a smile.
Dimples I mouth to him and he winks.
"Let's run it through again then we'll just sing through a couple songs. After that we'll record normally," Cage tells us.
"Sounds good." I take a drink of water. I nod to Trace letting him know I'm ready whenever they are and I, again, adjust the headset and wait for the count.
***~~~***
When Cage looks through the window and runs a hand across his neck we know they're cutting the feed. I breathe a sigh of relief. I hated every second of it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing in here or how recording is supposed to go and we had to do some fake shit just to prove ourselves.
I turn around, pulling off the headset.
"I'm sorry guys, I really am. This shouldn’t be happening. None of it. We're here to play music not to have to deal with petty bullshit from some jealous girl who didn't get her way when she tried to steal my and Meggie's boyfriends in high school. I swear I feel like I'm twelve." I shake my head. "You don't deserve this. Not one second of it. I hope what we did today showed everyone what we've got and what we're made of. It was us. No gimmicks, no voice fixing crap. Just raw and uncut Blush. It's who we are and it's what we're going to bring to each and every concert. We have nothing to prove to anyone but ourselves. I'm done trying to fix what isn't broken. If another dramatic episode flares, so be it. We ignore it and do what we're here to do. We make music."
They all murmur their agreement and Trace hits his sticks together and yells, "Fuck yeah. Lucy fucking Russo can sing the hell out of any song put on her plate. If you couldn't, I wouldn't be here."
I nod. Trace goes on to praise the other band members and Meggie bounces with pride. I sit on the stool and take another drink of water. When I turn toward the glass, Jesse's got a big-ass grin on his face as do the rest of the guys, Spenser and the girls, Damian, Celeste, even Cage and Nate.
"Um, what did I miss?" I ask.
Cage points to the camera and I see the red light is still on. I smirk and shrug.
"Well America, you just saw Blush at its finest. This is us." I sweep an arm around to the others. "Take us as we are. We're just five normal people who want to make music and hopefully entertain you while we're doing it." I shrug.
"Three seconds, they say." I wink. "Have a good one people."
"We're out," Nate says with a chuckle. "I couldn't have planned that any better if I'd tried."
"Trace swore a lot."
"It's the internet. Fuck it," Cage says. "Let them fine me. That was brilliant." I shrug. "Take ten and then we really get to work."
I walk out of the sound room and Jesse hands me a peppermint Life Saver. "That was fucking awesome."
"It was okay. On Bring Me Closer I need to make the chorus edgier, you know?"
Jesse grins, his pride showing. "You guys are fucking kick ass. You all know your shit and not one of you gives less than two hundred percent."
"It's the only way I know."
He nods. "And that's why you're going to be a chart topper."
"They're going to give us a run for our money," Xander says.
"Fuck, we're screwed," Ethan says.
I laugh. "Shut up. There's no topping you guys."
Kennedy shrugs. "You just did."
"No, no. That was last night when I was on top…"
"Oh yeah," Jesse says, pulling me to him. "You know you could see part of your tats on camera."
"Oh boy. Mama Regina is going to have words for you later," Xander chortles.
"I'll tell her you got me drunk and talked me into it."
His laugh stops, his smile turns to a frown. "That's not even funny. Your mom's scary."
I nod. "She's going to have words for you, Xander."
"Lucy," he whines, trailing behind me as I head to the restroom.
What started out as a shit day has turned itself around within a matter of a couple hours, and Whitney whore was going to get what's coming to her. And to think I didn't have to even mention her. All I had to do was be me and bring it. Too bad what I brought was genuine and what she brought was bullshit.
I smirk and Xander gives me a look.
"What's going on in there, Luce?"
"Just thinking that while we just showed the world we're genuine and have nothing to hide, Whitney whore is going to be in a world of hurt. The media is going to crucify her."
"Yep. Especially after that jam session. There's no doubting Blush after that."
Nope. There's no doubting Blush. As Jesse would say, we've got this.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jesse
"I have a confession," Lucy tells me.
"You only love me for my cock."
She snickers and swats a hand at me. "It is impressive but no."
"I knew it. You only love me for my Life Savers."
"Damn. You figured me out."
I nod. "I should have never shared my secret or my stash with you. It's all about the candy now," I say with mock hurt.
"Baby, you're sweeter than candy," she tells me with a wink.
"That was the corniest line I've ever heard," Jace tells her.
"I know, right? Wasn't it great?"
"You two are so weird, you realize this, right? It's not normal how naturally weird you are together."
"I happen to think we're a perfect pair of weirdness," she tells him. "Wait, what's that quote?" She looks to Sera who holds up her hands. "Don't even look at me."
She reaches in her pocket for her phone but comes up empty. "Shit. I forgot Celeste has my phone."
"Here, use mine," I tell her. She lifts her brows. "What?"
"Nothing," she says, shaking her head.
It's obviously something. "What is it?"
"I'm just surprised you handed over your phone like that. You didn't even look first to see if you had any texts."
"Do I?" I ask.
She swipes a finger across the screen then her lip curls. "Yes."
Well that can't be good. She thrusts the phone in my face and I take it.
Heather. Oh fuck. I keep my expression blank as I swipe the screen and open the message. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuck.
"Well, this isn't going to go well so I might as well just get it out there."
Her lips are pressed together in a straight line and she nods once. Jace and Sera have expressions of panic and Xander raises his brow at me.
"Uh, well, the message is from Heather."
"Dude," Xander says shaking his head.
"Who's Heather?" Sera asks while Lucy just looks out the window.
I'm not sure how to do this. God. I don't want to hurt her any more than she already is.
"One of the 'regulars'," Xander tells them.
Lucy stiffens and slides ever so slightly toward the edge of the sofa.
"What the fuck does she want?" Jace asks, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, hands balled into fists, expression one that isn't friendly at all.
"What does who want?" Ben asks as he hands me a beer. He hands Lucy one of the Pinnacle vodka drinks.
"Thanks Ben. I'll need another one of these."
"But that one is--" he breaks off as she downs the entire bottle. "--full. Yo, Kennedy grab a couple more of those vodka drinks, would ya?"
"On it!"
Jace swears under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fists, Sera and Meggie send me death glares, and Frank sits back with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What the fuck is going on?" Ben asks.
"Oh nothing much," Meggie tells him. "Just some skank-ass hoe named Heather sent Jesse here a text and he seems awfully uncomfortable about it."
"Dude," Xander says again and shakes his head.
"Again, I'll ask. What the fuck does she want?" Jace bites out.
"We were supposed to meet up and I guess I forgot to cancel."
"You guess you forgot," Lucy whispers. "I bet you forgot to 'cancel'," she says making air quotes, "with the rest of them like you said you would too, huh?"
"I did. Fuck."
She nods, not looking at me.
"I see how this works," Sera says. "Lucy can't even so much as look at another guy without you getting all worked up and trying to piss on her leg, but you can't bother to text your whores and tell them you're no longer available? And delete their numbers like Lucy asked?"
"It's not like that. I forgot."
"Convenient, isn't it?" Lucy asks and takes one of the drinks from Kennedy and chugs this one as well.
"What the fuck?" he asks. I just hang my head. What can I say? I fucked up. Maybe I'll say just that.
"I fucked up."
Lucy laughs humo
rlessly. "I can't even talk to Damian about our tour and you still have your whores on speed dial." Silence for a few seconds. "You know what, Jesse? I don't think this is going to work for me."
"What do you mean?"
"Just what I said."
"You don't mean that."
"Oh yeah, I do. Let me explain something to you. You promised to send a mass text and get rid of those… women."
"And she's using the term loosely," Sera scathes.
"And you also promised to delete their numbers. Every last one. But did you do any of that? Nope. So I can only sit here and wonder why that is. I trusted you to do that."
"Fuck," Trace mutters under his breath.
"Let me tell you why I think that is. I think it's because while you say you want this," she says pointing between me and her, "and while you claim to 'love' me," again with the fucking air quotes, "and while you made promises to me just this morning--" her breath hitches and my heart nosedives into my gut. I'm a fucking asshole.
She clears her throat. "While you made promises to me just this morning, I think deep down you didn't believe a word of it. You didn't believe in us so you kept your backups."
"No, that's not it at all."
"No? Then explain it to me."
"I forgot, Lucy. I was distracted with everything going on."
She nods. "I distracted you so much, you love me so much, you want only me so much that you can't send the text you promised to send to get rid of the whores you say you no longer want. Well, okay then. That's all settled. Yippee."
Jace cringes.
She stands up and I stand with her. She shoves me, catching me off guard, and I fall back into the sofa.
"What the fuck?"
"You stay here. I'm going to pack. Frank, please let Max know I'll need the car in about twenty minutes."
He nods and sends me a glare.
"None of you have to come with me. Actually I think I probably need to be alone."
"You know what? Fuck that, Luce," Jace says. "You go, we go. It's how we roll."
"Lucy, listen…"
"Sure. I'll listen as well as you listened when I asked you delete the whores," she says, turning and walking away. "You have a right to expect and demand those things from me, you said. You fucking said that to me." She walks toward the stairs.
"Fuck!" I yell.