"We're not items."
"That's not how I meant it and you know it. I have to have some time, some space to process this. This isn't the usual 'Dad, meet my boyfriend' moment."
"Do you still want me to stay?"
Jack pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tight. "Silly girl. Of course I still want you home. I just need time."
Chapter 12
Sydney was in no rush to go back to the main house. She needed time to process everything that had happened, and even though she felt guilty that she was leaving the men hanging, she still strolled over to the stables.
Roman snickered when she rounded the corner to the stables. He hung his head over the stable door, sniffing at her palm, probably hoping for a sugar cube or two. She rubbed along his nose before opening the door and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Hey, boy," she crooned softly. "Wanna be my shoulder to cry on?"
She considered taking him out for a ride, but the men would sure as hell follow her as soon as they heard Roman gallop away from the 4D. They'd think she'd bolted again. Not that she would blame them. It had certainly become a habit of hers. Instead, she dragged a small stool into the corner of the stable and flopped down onto it.
Letting her head fall back, it hit the wall and she closed her eyes. Confusion reigned while she tried to group her thoughts into some kind of order. She could almost touch her dream, virtually taste it, but she needed time to process her thoughts. After the emotional conversation with Jack so many things were racing through her head. Nothing about this trip home had been what she imagined and now she had some decisions to make.
Her father didn't exactly to object to their threesome, but others would. Just like Pax said, it wasn't normal. It didn't stop her wanting it though. Could she ignore other people's prejudice and live with Pax and Caleb permanently, ignoring the stares and whispers?
Roman nudged at her chin, demanding her attention. She swatted him away, smiling at the horse's whine in protest.
Jack's reaction hadn't been quite what she expected.
He'd been calmer, and far more willing to listen. He was still stunned and obviously didn't approve. However, she had hope he would… eventually. She would need to be determined to live through his short-lived disapproval. And that decision had to be made now.
"There you are. Baby, we were worried."
Startled, Sydney's eyes shot open, watching Caleb enter the stable. His boots thumped on the wooden floor, disturbing the straw. He took his hat off, squatting down in front of her before he spoke again. "That bad, huh?"
Shaking her head, she reached out for his hand. "It wasn't what I thought it would be."
"Is that good?"
Sydney shook her head again, exhaustion weighing heavy on her shoulders. "I don't know what it is. Dad's upset, confused by what the fuck we're all doing and I have no real explanation. All I could say was that I wanted you both—always had."
"Did he ask you to leave?"
"No, of course not. But he isn't too thrilled either," she said, shoving at his shoulders and stalking across the stable away from him. "I'm just trying to figure out how this all works and what I do next so that we can all move forward."
Caleb righted himself, moving over to her as he lifted his palms in mock surrender. "I'm sorry. Pax and I were just so concerned. You've been gone a while, but we wanted to do as you asked and leave you and Jack alone. My heart didn't start beatin' again until I found you in here."
Knocking her forehead against the wall, she groaned. "This is such a mess."
"Doesn't need to be, baby. We'll work through this. It's not as bad as you suspected, right?" His hand rubbed her shoulder, exerting the smallest amount of pressure so that she turned around to face him. "I love you, Ne-Ne. I never stopped." His lips met hers, softly at first but then more forcefully. It stopped all conversation. His hand gripped her waist tightly, hauling her hips to connect with his. She tasted the hunger on his tongue and felt the need rolling off him. Caleb wanted confirmation of her feelings.
She'd bet he expected her to leave again and he sought solace the only way he knew how.
Sydney fumbled with the hem of his shirt, pushing her hands underneath and laying her palms flat against his abdomen. Probably not the best idea to be with him right now, but she needed him like she needed oxygen at that moment.
Caleb nipped harshly at her bottom lip, growling and pushing her harder into the wall. His dominance reared its head now that they were alone. She expected it from Pax, but she needed it from Caleb and he responded with relish.
The way he bit at her mouth aroused her beyond anything she'd experienced with him before. The tighter he held her, the more she ground against him and the more he crushed back. She whimpered when his lips left hers to torture her neck.
"Shush," he crooned in his velvet smooth voice. "You'll scare the horse."
Scaring Roman would draw attention to the stables and she didn't want an audience right now. She tried to move away from him even but Caleb held her firmly.
"Where do you think you're goin'?"
"You said it yourself, the noises will startle Roman. We can finish this later."
Caleb shook his head very slowly. "You're goin' to have to be very quiet then, aren't you? I don't intend to pause this here."
Sydney grinned, unable to stop the growing arousal currently building within her body. She held her lower lip between her teeth, shooting him a hooded gaze. He rewarded her with a slow lick of his lips. His stare became one of a predator stalking its prey, and she loved being that prey. She wanted his devouring.
"Can you be really quiet?" he asked then demanded. "Take your panties off."
Lowering his head to her neck, he traced his nose slowly up and down it before growling into her ear, "Do it."
A loud moan slipped from her mouth, for which she received a tap on her nose with his finger. "Silence."
Caleb stepped away, but only long enough for Sydney to remove her panties. He snatched them from her and placed them in the back pocket of his jeans, playfulness glinting in his eyes.
Kissing her again, he leaned in, pressing his rigid body against hers. His fingers tickled the back of her neck, his thumb stroking down the front, before he danced them down to her breast. Sydney gritted her teeth, stopping another moan.
He cupped her breast through the fabric, circling her prominent nipple and muttering against her lips. She could barely hear his declarations they were so low, and her heartbeat so loudly she was certain the sound would alert Roman.
Pushing her hips against his thigh, she hoped for some sort of friction. However, he moved his leg out of the way. Frustration built and her whole body charged, seeking an outlet.
"I love you, Syd."
Her fingers skimmed across his chest under his shirt, feeling every muscle. His words were honest; the truth of them written all over his face. His feelings were too intense right now, simply too much to deal with after the talk with her father. Sydney wanted to get lost.
She trailed her tongue slowly along his jaw, the stubble rough against it. The taste of pure undiluted Caleb drove her into a lust-filled frenzy and his hand gripped her ass firmly, pulling her as close as she could get to him. His mouth moved back to her neck, his teeth latched against the flesh, and he sucked hard. Syd mewled, hitching her leg around his knee. His fingers immediately snaked to her wet pussy.
Caleb parted her folds and delved his fingers inside, groaning when he met her slick heat. He didn't stop sucking on her neck until she winced a little in pain. That would leave a mark, but she couldn't bring herself to care, especially when his fingers continued to play with her pussy. Her body hummed with desire for him, and right then, him alone.
Lowering her hand to his jeans, she unbuckled the belt, before popping each button open. Caleb pushed a finger into her when the last button gave free and her hand touched his hardened cock.
He cursed into her neck when her fingers wrapped around his shaft tightly. The
y rocked in unison against the stable wall, consumed by each other.
"Another?" he questioned.
Sydney struggled to comprehend what he referred to, and he pushed a second finger inside her. "Oh!" Her breathing grew heavy and fast. "I need more than your fingers. I need you inside me."
"I want you, too. I can feel how wet you are for me. So ready for my cock. Tell me you want me."
"Oh yes," she breathed. "Now."
He pulled his fingers from her body, making her want to cry. She watched in fascination when he brought his shining fingers to his lips and lapped at them, tasting her cream. Her legs almost gave way.
"I've missed your taste," he crooned, before lifting her up. He wrapped her legs around his body, and pressed her back flat against the wall. "I've been dyin' to fuck you alone, to have you all to myself."
Sydney bit her cheek to stop the loud moan that wanted to burst from her lips at his words. She found his possessiveness unbelievably sexy, and something she could get used to. Their time apart had changed him, she could see that now.
In response, she rocked her hips faster, scraping her fingernails along his scalp. All thoughts of the horses, Jack, and Pax were gone. Her world centered on Caleb and the way he made everything better.
"Condom," she hissed, hoping this would be one of those times he had one handy.
He smirked, pushing his hips closer to hers. He braced her against the wall and reached into his back pocket. Sydney took it from him, tearing it open with her teeth before handing it back. Burying his face in her chest, she waited until he covered his cock.
Groaning, Caleb thrust harshly into her. She squeezed her thighs and rocked along with him. The hair on her body stood on end, goose bumps splayed across her skin. She gasped for breath as he rammed her against the wall. Air hissed through his gritted teeth and he snarled between each pump.
Sydney clawed at his shirt, only then realizing that they were both still completely clothed. She'd only removed her panties.
Caleb's legs trembled underneath her, and he hitched her higher, slamming his cock into her aching pussy. She brought her mouth back to his, tasting herself on his tongue. At the same time, the throb between her legs started to spiral out of control. Caleb must have felt it, because he lowered his lips, took her T-shirt covered nipple between his teeth and bit down.
"I… I… oh, fuck…"
"Let go, Ne-Ne. Let me feel you come."
Her orgasm ripped through her. Screams left her mouth when it burst through her body, burning her insides in its wake. She sobbed, aftershocks racking her abdomen.
Caleb came seconds later, hissing and grunting into her chest. His teeth pulled at her T-shirt, he'd been reduced to a snarling primal beast, only needing his completion.
From the way he bucked against her, his had been just as wild as hers. Listening to Caleb's heavy breathing, she tried to restore her equilibrium. His cock still pulsed inside of her and his head nuzzled her chest. She tried to enjoy the moment but reality came back like a kick to the gut. This had been a small escape that she knew from the start couldn't make everything better. Her father still disliked her decisions, and she still had another life in another state. The time for hiding—for running away, had to end. She had to make some choices, regardless of who they would hurt.
As if sensing a change, Caleb lowered her feet to the floor. Cupping her face between his hands, he kissed her lips tenderly. "We should go and speak to Pax."
Sydney nodded, looking away while he tucked himself back into his jeans. "I'll follow you in. I just need a second. Okay?"
"You don't have to do anythin' alone, Syd. Pax and I meant what we said earlier. We're here for you. We want you."
"I know." She fought to keep her voice even. "We'll talk. I'll be in soon."
Caleb started to protest, but she ignored him and shooed him from the stable. Roman pushed his nose against her shoulder, huffing when she turned her back him. She pushed her fingers through her hair, gripping on it so tightly she cringed. Her head spun, but Sydney finally accepted that her decision had been made. In truth, she'd made the choice the day she realized how much her father had aged. She just had to tell Caleb and Pax.
Bidding Roman goodbye, she patted his neck gently and walked over to the main house. She took a deep breath before opening the door, not surprised to see both men at the kitchen table, focused solely on her arrival.
She closed the door and shot them a wan smile, but she didn't walk over to them. She needed to have some space while she conveyed her plans. Their touch could change those plans, and she refused to let that happen.
"I don't know exactly how to say this." She started, watching Pax's eyes narrow. "I'm leaving."
Chapter 13
Sydney glanced around the empty room that used to be her apartment. Everything she owned had been moved into the back of the moving truck, waiting for her to take it to her new home. Her real home.
Both men flipped out when she'd told them she had no option but to leave, though they calmed as soon as she elaborated. They'd wanted to come to Sacramento with her, to help pack her apartment up. Declining them, she made them to understand it had to be something she did alone.
Not because she had many people to say goodbye to, or that shame stopped her showing off of her men. Sydney wanted to close this chapter of her life by herself. Having been the one that started it—the one that moved away, she thought it important to make the fresh start the way she left.
Carla, her editor, thought she'd been joking when she called to explain exactly what had happened and why she'd been off the radar for weeks. To Sydney's surprise, Carla had been green with jealously, a totally unexpected reaction. However, she found it encouraging. The whole world didn't need to know she lived with two men, but as long as the people closest to her accepted it, she would be happy.
Her hurdle would always be her father, though he had promised to try. Sydney couldn't hope for more.
Nevertheless, he'd been overjoyed she planned to return home.
For good.
The last two months had been a whirlwind, from that early morning call from Pax to the mortifying moment her father had caught her and Pax in the field. She still fought to believe all of it had happened.
The sound of her cell chirping snapped her out of the daydream, and she grinned when she saw who called.
"Hey," she answered.
"Hey, baby. Pax and I wanted to know how long."
"Until what?" she teased, knowing exactly what he meant.
Caleb growled, causing her to shiver with desire. "Until your ass is in this house, naked, and ready for us."
"Oh." Her skin flamed.
"Yeah, oh! When Ne-Ne?" He sounded desperate, and instead of feeling suffocated, she reveled in it. "It's all in the truck. I'm about to lock the place up and start the drive home."
"Home," he crooned. "I love the sound of that."
"I love you."
"Ditto, baby." She heard Pax in the background.
"Pax said you need to drive fast… but safely."
"I'll see you later today."
Sydney ended the call, picking up the last box of belongings, and walked out of her apartment. She stepped down the stairs and tried to recall the name of one other person that lived in the building. She came up blank, and yet she could name the residents of every farm surrounding the 4D. It only underlined she'd made the right decision.
After dropping the keys off with the super, she climbed into the truck and began the long ride home.
Happiness swelled within her, only increasing with every mile closer she got. Pax and Caleb continued to text her as she drove through the night, and she'd even managed a chat with Jack. She'd been cautious, expecting him to be somewhat standoffish, but true to his word, he was working to accept her relationship. He even joked about how the men were pining after her. The teasing gave her hope.
About an hour from home, Sydney stopped to stretch her legs. She'd given herself the location as
the last chance to turn around. But she no longer held any reservations. The time for running away had come and gone. She knew where she clearly belonged—where she'd always belonged. Time away had only made her appreciate her home more. She thought of the wasted time, and all the memories they could have had over the years, if only she'd been honest with Caleb about why she couldn't marry him.
In hindsight, she reasoned they'd maybe all needed that time and space to grow. Also to realize what they had couldn't be considered a whim or a phase, they all truly loved each other. They still had a lot of decisions to make, but with certainty, she knew they could forge a way through anything as long as they were honest with each other.
The closer she got to home, the faster she drove, desperate to be in their arms again. When she pulled onto the gravel path that led to the 4D, she smiled. Pax and Caleb were waiting at the gates, both holding a bunch of flowers. The cheesy gesture made her want to mock the men. Nevertheless, the butterflies in her stomach went crazy.
She stopped the truck, jumping down from the cab and racing over to them. Pax shot her his pant-dropping smile and Caleb blew her a kiss.
"Welcome home, sweetheart," Pax drawled, lowering his cheek so she could kiss it. She gave him a quick peck, turning to give Caleb one, too.
"We missed you, baby," Caleb added.
"I've been gone just over seventy-two hours." She rolled her eyes. "You're both so dramatic."
They chuckled, bracketing her, and placing their arms around her waist. Caleb moved his lips to her ear, whispering softly before sucking the lobe into his mouth.
"We missed you. That's not dramatic."
Groaning, her knees buckled. About to kiss Pax, she stalled, noticing her father walking toward them. A small scowl marred his face, and she pulled away from both men.
Jack shook his head. "You don't need to do that. I've gotta get used to it, I suppose."
"Yeah, but—"