I shimmy into a pair of small shorts, and tie my top up at the waist. I bundle my hair onto the top of my head, and get started. I throw some music on to help. The kitchen, living room, and dining room take me two hours to clean. The bathrooms take another two. By the time I am around to cleaning the floors, I am soaked from head to toe, smelling like bleach and god knows what else, and I’m exhausted. I’m on my hands and knees, scrubbing old stains off the kitchen floor when they come in. I don’t even hear them over the music, or my cussing about the filth. I hear a loud, “Holy fuck!” and spin around, slipping and crashing into the cupboards. My head takes a pretty hard knock, and for a moment I lay there dazed.
“Fuck, are you ok?”
I open my eyes with a wince to see Jackson leaning over me, offering me his hand. With a flush to my cheeks, I take it. He helps me to my feet, and his arms go around me to steady my body. It’s then I realize the position he just saw me in. I was on my hands and knees, ass in the air, scrubbing. Jackson just got a good view of my ass. When I’m steady, Jackson lets me go and is giving me a very strange look. I feel my heart begin to thud, oh no, he’s angry at me. I’m such an idiot. I notice then, that he’s not alone. No, he’s with Muff, and I realize not only did he see my ass, Muff did too. I know this, because Muff’s grinning at me. My cheeks flush and I begin to babble.
“I’m sorry, I was just trying to earn my keep and do the right thing. I didn’t mean to make you angry, Jackson...”
“Princess,” Muff begins, cutting me off. “He ain’t angry.”
I give him a confused expression. “But...”
I look to Jackson, who is still staring at me, his eyes blazing.
“He’s givin’ you that look, baby, because your shirt is...um...”
I quickly glance down, horrified, wondering if my shirt has lifted and I don’t even know. Instead, I see that it hasn’t lifted, no, it’s much worse. It’s become see through. I am only wearing a thin, white sports bra and a white top, all of which are soaked because of the water and bleach. I am high beaming Jackson. My nipples are hard - I blame the cold - and they are sticking out. I squeal and quickly cover my chest, cursing for being so stupid. I take a step backwards, slip, scream, and Jackson reaches out, gripping me quickly and pulling me forward...again. I land with a crash into his chest, and oh, his body is pressing against mine in the most sensual way. I can feel every inch of him and I like it. This could NOT get any more embarrassing. First he sees my ass, then my hard nipples, and now our bodies are rubbing together and I’m getting all hot about it.
I am wrong about it not getting worse.
When I move, I realize that Jackson is hard.
He. Is. Hard.
Oh Jesus. I yelp, shove out of his arms and turn, muttering apologies and mumbling curses under my breath. I hit the stairs, slip again, cry out, curse and scurry up on my hands and knees.
Someone kill me now.
The last thing I hear before slamming the door behind me is Muff’s booming laugh.
~*~*~*~
SERENITY
I hide in my room for the next two hours. What else can I do? I can’t show my face downstairs. I know they’re still there, because I can hear them chatting and laughing. I’m clean, wearing a dark top that has no chance of showing nipple, sitting on my bed listening to my stomach rumble. I’m hungry, all that exercise and cleaning does that to a person. I rub my belly, contemplating if it’s worth going down and facing my shame, when someone knocks on my door. I jerk, and open my mouth to whisper a ‘come in’ when Jackson opens the door. Too bad if I was naked.
Our eyes meet, and my heart begins to thud. God, I wish it would stop doing that.
“Thought you might be hungry, just lettin’ you know there’s food downstairs.”
“Thank you,” I say in a small voice. “I’ll come down soon.”
He nods and goes to turn, but I find myself calling his name. He glances at me over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry about before.”
He turns back towards me, and gives me a small, gorgeous grin.
“Ain’t no problem darlin’, what you did was real nice.”
“Not about the cleaning, but the, err...”
His grins gets bigger. Oh my.
“It ain’t every day a man gets a nice view like that to come home to. Don’t you worry about it, made my fuckin’ day.”
My mouth drops open, and he turns and leaves. Did Jackson just say my ass and nipples, made his day? My entire body breaks out into tiny little goosebumps. What is happening here? Did Jackson just give me a moment of flirting? Or was he just being honest? This is bad, this is so bad. I can’t feel a connection towards the man I am lying to...can I?
Shaking my head, I stand. My stomach is growling loudly at me, and there is just no way I can ignore it. I make my way downstairs, and see Muff and Jackson sitting in the living room, drinking beer and eating Chinese food. The steps creak as I get lower, and they both turn to start at me. Such beautiful men, the both of them. Jackson is tall, dark and handsome, but Muff is so fair, so different. They’re both incredibly nice to look at.
“Food on the counter,” Muff says, nodding his head towards the kitchen.
“Beer in the fridge,” Jackson adds.
Is that an invite? I’ve never been able to sit with men and just talk. Back home, the men had their place, and we had ours. We were treated like dogs; we weren’t treated with any kind of respect. Not like this. These guys, they’re so gentle compared to what I’m used to. I feel odd, and yet so warm at the same time. I walk over and serve myself some food, and then I take a beer, before sitting on the small recliner over from the guys.
“So, Serenity, you got yourself a man?” Muff asks, spooning food into his mouth.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Really?” he says, like that’s so shocking to him.
“They’re not so great where I come from.”
“Why?” Jackson asks, his eyes piercing mine.
“They’re abusive, mean, and just not honorable. I guess you could blame the people I hang around with, but still, I prefer not to go near the men.”
“Fair enough,” Muff says. “Some men are jerks.”
I laugh softly. “Yeah.”
“You study?” he continues.
“No, I wanted to, but...”
“But what?” Jackson adds.
“Well, we couldn’t afford it, and I wasn’t allowed.”
“You should do it,” Muff says gently. “Fuck everyone else.”
I smile at him. “Maybe one day I will.”
Jackson leans over, gripping his beer. “What did you want to do?”
“I wanted to be a nurse, I know it’s lame, but...”
“Helpin’ people ain’t lame, darlin’. It’s a gift, and you’re sure sweet enough to have that gift.”
I smile at him, unable to hold it back. It’s a smile filled with gratitude and emotion. “Thank you.”
“Just sayin’ what’s true.”
I turn away before he sees the expression of want on my face. My heart begins to thump steadily. I’m so confused. I’ve been here only a few days, and Jackson is getting to me in a way no one has before. It’s one of those instant attractions that you have no say so over.
“Well, thanks for dinner you two,” Muff says standing. “But I got business to attend to.”
“Bye Muff,” I smile.
“Later, beautiful.”
“Later man,” Jackson says.
Muff gives us one more grin, before leaving. It’s then I realize I’m now alone with Jackson. Standing quickly, I take my bowl to the sink and finish the last few mouthfuls before washing it and putting it up to dry. I turn to Jackson as I walk out.
“Thanks for that.”
“Don’t have to run, I don’t bite.”
My heart feels like it stops beating. He wants me to stay?
His eyes swing up to mine, and hold my gaze. “There’s some scary shit on T.V, b
ut you can watch it with me, if you want.”
Oh god, he’s offering to watch movies with me. I feel my knees wobble as I walk over and sit on the couch beside him. We’re quite a distance away, but I can feel his presence like he’s sitting right beside me. He turns the volume up as the movie begins to play.
“You aren’t gonna scream, are you?”
I laugh nervously. “It’s highly possible, considering I’m scared of the dark...”
He gives me a look. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. It’s childish, but it’s true. I probably won’t sleep tonight, because I won’t be able to turn out the light.”
He chuckles.
“It’s not funny,” I protest.
“It’s kind of funny,” he grins, “a grown girl gettin’ scared over this bullshit.”
“This bullshit is very real!”
He laughs, and the sound is like music to my ears. I smile and drop my head back.
“So, what’s his real name?”
“Who?”
I watch as he leans back, and puts his arms up behind his head. Oh, those arms.
“Muff,” I say, my voice not coming out quite as strong as I would have hoped.
“Brian,” he says, grinning at me.
“Brian...seriously? That’s so...normal.”
He laughs again, “Yeah and that man is far from normal.”
“I like him, he’s kind of sweet,” I say, tucking my legs up and nestling back into the couch.
“Most of the girls say that.”
“Why?”
Jackson gives me a look from the corner of his eye. “You don’t know about Muff...and his nickname?”
“Well, I have a fair idea.”
Jackson gives a lazy, half smile. “He likes the...muff.”
I giggle, and then feel my cheeks flush. Oh god, I am talking about women’s bits, with Jackson. I turn my eyes back to the movie, feeling my skin prickle, just as some crazy murderer jumps out of a cupboard. I scream, spinning and burying my face into the couch. It takes me a moment to realize it’s not the couch, but Jackson’s arm. I leap backwards, eyes wide.
“Oh my god, sorry!”
He grins, clearly smothering a laugh. “Seriously? You’re scared of that?”
“He...I didn’t...” I cross my arms. “I didn’t see it coming!”
He snorts, and I realize I’ve shifted closer, and he doesn’t seem to mind. I tuck my legs back up, and I can feel his body heat running all over my body.
“Better close your eyes, scary bit comin’,” he warns, just as the girl opens the front door to see some creepy guy with a mask, and some awful weapon that I don’t give myself a chance to asses. I close my eyes, pressing my hands over my face.
“Is it over yet?” I mumble through my hands.
“Nah, he’s still chopping her up.”
“Jackson!” I cry.
“Truth,” he chuckles.
While my hands are over my face, I realize what I’m doing. It hits me like a brick. I’m sitting here, enjoying the company of the man I am going to lie and cheat. For a moment there, just a moment, I forgot what I was here for. I get to my feet quickly, feeling like a complete fool. I can’t be friends with Jackson, it’s just not right. Everything about this is so wrong.
“I should really go to bed,” I suddenly babble. “I don’t want to ruin the movie by screaming all night. Thanks, Jackson.”
“Serenity,” he calls as I turn rush up the stairs, but I don’t stop.
I get to my room, and close the door quickly, before pressing my back to it. This is all so risky, and stupid. I’m supposed to hate these people for what they did; I’m supposed to hate them just because they’re bikers. But I don’t. I can’t bring myself to see anything but some amazing people who aren’t out to hurt anyone. I lower my body down the door, and I sit there until I hear Jackson coming up the stairs. For a solid half an hour, I hear the shower running. I force any images of him naked and wet, out of my head.
When everything seems quiet, I creak open my door. The hall is dark. I creep out, desperate for a cup of hot tea. It’s the only thing that will allow me to get any sleep right now. I begin slowly creeping down the hall, when I run into a hard, hot form. Oh no. Not again. Jackson is half naked, I know because I feel his chest slam against my face. His skin is hot from the shower, and shit, he smells amazing. His hands instantly go up to my arms where he steadies me, and for a moment there in the darkness, we just stand there. I don’t leap back, he doesn’t let me go.
I find myself wanting to step closer, and without even knowing it, I do. I step forward until our bodies are flush, and my lips are only very lightly pressed against his chest. His fingers tighten around my arms, and his breathing deepens. One of my hands lifts and my fingertips just lightly graze the hard muscles on his chest. Oh god, everything inside me is throbbing, wanting to consume him. He steps back at the same time I do, and we both mumble an apology before rushing off. I’m ashamed of myself for not doing that right away. I let myself enjoy a moment with him.
And shit, that’s exactly what I did.
I enjoyed it.
~*CHAPTER 5*~
SERENITY
I open the fridge, groan, and shut it again. There’s nothing left. I’ve been making do as much as I can, but this house is in serious need of a decent food shop. I don’t want to ask Jackson, though, because it’s so rude. I have my own money, but to get into town, isn’t exactly easy. I have no car, and wasting money on a cab isn’t the logical thing to do. I walk over the pantry and swing it open. The only thing in there is a few tins of spaghetti and some olives. Seriously? I sigh deeply, and shut it. I guess it’s a cab for me.
I’m just about to dial one, when Jackson walks in. He looks like he’s busy, and he doesn’t notice me right away. I feel my skin prickle, because I know how uncomfortable it must be having me here, especially after the other night. We’ve both been walking on eggshells since then. Jackson lifts his head, and notices me. He jerks a little, and then puts a small, weak smile on his face. “Serenity, didn’t know you were here.”
“I was just heading into town to get some food.”
He raises his brows. “There ain’t any in the fridge?”
“Um, no...”
Doesn’t the man ever eat at home?
“Well, I’m headed into town. You can catch a lift with me.”
“Oh,” I say, feeling my cheeks heat. “No, it’s ok.”
“What do you plan on doin’? Wastin’ money on a cab?”
“Well, um, yeah...it’s the least I can do. You’ve let me stay here and...”
He waves a hand, cutting me off, and grips his keys. “You had nowhere to go, my daughter inherited my soft heart, and so here you are. It’s fine.”
“I know, but I feel like I’m crashing your space, and...”
He puts a hand up, giving me a look. “I’m fine with it.”
Our eyes meet, and I quickly look away. “Ok then, I’ll just get my purse.”
“No.”
I stop and stare at him, confused. “No?”
“It’s my house, my fridge you’re fillin’. I’ll give you the money.”
“Jackson, no, it’s fine.”
He gives me a hard look. “I said I got it.”
I nod, defeated. He’s not going to back down; I know enough about bikers to know they aren’t going to give in if they set their mind to something.
“I’ll just grab a few things, and then I’ll meet you in the truck.”
I nod, hurrying outside until I reach his truck. I slide in the passenger seat, suddenly feeling nerves flutter about in my stomach. I don’t really understand why I feel this way; I just know it has everything to do with Jackson. He makes me feel tight in the chest. I struggle to breathe around him, struggle to keep a logical mind, and I don’t quite understand it. I’m deep in thought when Jackson slides into the front seat. I flinch, and turn my face so I’m staring out the window. I feel the truck reversing
, and a heavy, awkward silence fills the air. I feel like I need a topic of conversation, so I ask him the only thing I can think of.
“How did you become a biker?”
He glances at me quickly, before staring back towards the road. “It just happened. I had a rough life, and back then, the president was someone that was close to my family. When I lost my parents, he took me in. It went from there.”
“Do you ever regret it?”
He shakes his head. “Never, I have a family that I could never find anywhere else. Those guys, they’re my brothers, without them I’m not half the man I am now.”
I nod, understanding that. “I get that, it’s nice to have someone you believe in, the way you believe in them.”
“You don’t have anyone to believe in?”
I tense up. “I...I just had a different life. I never really got the chance.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
I shrug. “Life is life. We don’t get to choose how it goes, we just deal with it.”
“Right about that.”
We talk casually for the next half an hour. When we arrive in town, Jackson pulls up at the front of the little store and I get out. “I’ll come back when I’m done,” he says.
“Ok, thank you.”
He nods, and then drives off. Sighing with relief, I walk into the store. It feels nice to have a little freedom, even just for a moment. Right, where to start? I make a list in my head, and grab a cart. I go through, picking out everything I think we’ll need. I lose myself in my own thoughts, and I don’t even notice when Jackson comes up behind me an hour later.
“Deep in thought?”
I squeal and spin around, clutching my chest. “You scared me!”
He gives me a small smile. “Sorry. You nearly done?”
I go through that mental list again, and know there’s one thing I haven’t gotten. Tampons. It’s coming up to that time soon, and I’m not sure I’ll get another chance to come and get some. My cheeks flush, and I look away nervously.
“Um, I’m nearly done.”