He falls in step beside me, and I begin thinking of ways to get rid of him.
“Is there anything you need?” I ask.
“Nope.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Nope.”
Dammit.
“Oh, right, maybe you can take the cart to the counter, and I’ll meet you there?”
He gives me a confused expression. “Why?”
I grit my teeth. “Oh, just to miss the lineup.”
“Thought you said you were nearly done.”
“I need tampons!” I cry loudly. “I can’t get them when you’re standing right next to me.”
I dare to turn my eyes towards him, and his face is blank. Then, suddenly, he bursts out laughing. His head falls back, and his chest rumbles. That awful prick. I wish the ground would open and swallow me whole. My entire body tingles with shame, and I drop my head, so he can’t see the flush in my cheeks.
“You think that’s going to bother me?” he chuckles, reaching over and taking my chin, tilting it up to meet his expression. I feel my body break out in light trembles all over. His hands on me. It takes away all rational thought.
“It bothers me,” I whisper. “I don’t really know you, and...”
He shakes his head. “Darlin’, go and get your girly things. I’ll meet you at the counter, yeah?”
He gently drops his hand from my chin, and flashes me another heartwarming smile, before turning and taking the cart from my grips. Dying with shame, I find the tampons and pick the smallest box I can find, before heading back to the counter where Jackson is unloading all the food.
“You plannin’ to cook with all this?” he asks as I place the box on the counter.
“Yeah,” I nod. “Unless...you don’t want me to?”
He meets my gaze. “Didn’t know you knew how to cook?”
I shrug, reaching in to help him pull the items out. “I love cooking.”
“Well, you won’t hear me complaining.”
I chuckle. “Most men don’t.”
He grins at me, and my heart stutters. God, he’s beautiful, there’s just no other way of putting it. He’s pure, masculine beauty. We both look away quickly, and I feel my heart continuing on with its stupid little flip flops.
Why do I keep feeling like this around Jackson?
I have no right. Not when I’m betraying him the way I am.
~*CHAPTER 6*~
SERENITY
The small warehouse my father is hiding out in, is less than desirable. It’s old, crappy, hot, and it smells really bad. I walk through the main gates a week later, well past the date I was meant to come back. I know Hogan will be mad, but I had to find the right time to get out, and today was the only time I could do that. It took a lot for me to even find the courage to come back here, and if it wasn’t for my friend, I probably would have attempted to run.
I get deeper inside the warehouse, and groan at the heat. Yuck. I notice Janine right away on the bar. We’ve been friends for a long time; she’s the Old Lady to one of the well-known members, Derek. Her little daughter, Ebony, is the only reason I come back to this place. The poor girl would have no hope without her momma and me. We try to keep her away from as much as we possibly can.
“Sea!” she cries, rushing around the bar and over to me.
We leap into each other’s arms, and cling. I feel tears burn under my eyelids, but I hold them back. I could never let anything happen to this woman, or her baby. I lean back, and grip her short, red locks.
“You cut your hair!”
“This morning,” she smiles. “You like?”
“Love.”
She frowns, reaching out to touch the fading bruises on my face. “He’s a fucking pig.”
I smile weakly. “Yeah, I know.”
“One day honey, we’re going to get out of this god forsaken place.”
“We are,” I assure her. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“For now though,” she groans. “That no good son of a bitch is the only thing keeping Eb’s and I on our toes.”
She’s referring to Ebony’s dad, and I can’t blame her really. All of Hogan’s guys are scumbags. Each and every one of them. I’m sure he went around the world and picked every jerk, pig, rapist and woman basher he could and created an MC club.
“Where is Eb’s?”
“With her grandma.”
I nod. “My father?”
She jabs her thumb towards a door in the far left corner. “In there, and he’s in a mood.”
I feel my heart thud, but I still give her a smile. “Isn’t he always?”
She nods, and we hug once more before I head to Hogan’s office. When I get in, he’s sitting in his chair, staring out the window. Taking a deep breath, I clear my throat. He spins in his chair, and his eyes grow wild. I know how angry he is that I’m late, but I had to make up some excuse about going into town to buy some fresh clothes. Addi wanted to come, but I was lucky that Cade growled and said it was his afternoon with her.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Hogan bellows.
“I...I couldn’t get out.”
He slides his chair back, and stands, storming over and gripping my hair. I cry out. My eye burns as the ripping pain cascades through my body.
“Don’t, please, I’m sorry.”
“Waste of fuckin’ time you are, always fuckin’ wastin’ time. I gave you a specific order, and you didn’t fuckin’ follow it!”
His fist drives into my ribs, and I scream. I twist and turn, struggling to get out of his grips.
“Waste of fuckin’ air.”
He hits me again, and I’m sure I hear one of my ribs snap. I scream again, and my legs buckle as the pain becomes too much.
“I said you better have something, I gave you a fuckin’ week, but you’re fuckin’ useless.”
“I have something,” I scream between tears.
He drops me to the floor, and I wince and roll.
“Speak,” he bellows. “God help me, I’ll fuckin’ kill you.”
“T-t-t-they think you’re dead.”
A loud, booming laugh escapes his throat. I lift my head to look up at him through my tears. What the hell is so funny about that?
“Stupid fuckers! What else?”
“T-t-t-that’s all I got. They think you’re dead, they think they’re safe.”
“Fuckin’ perfect!” he laughs again. “Now get up, get out, and get me something else. Find out about security, find out about their rides, schedules, anything I need to work in an attack.”
“Please, just let it go. They have families and...”
His foot hits my ribs. I make a gurgled, screaming sound, and roll away from him.
“Don’t you fuckin’ question me! You know what I’ll fuckin’ do. Now get up, go and get what I need, and report back in a few weeks. You get every fuckin’ thing I tell you. If you don’t, that baby you love goes swimming.”
I nod, and tears stream down my face as I get to my knees and push myself up. I wobble towards the door, not looking back. I get out into the bar, and Janine rushes over, wrapping her arms around me. I wince in pain, and more tears flow.
“Oh honey, we’re going to find a way out. I promise.”
“I have to go,” I croak.
She pulls back, swiping some tears away. “I promise.”
I nod, and turn and leave the warehouse. When I’m on the street, I feel my knees begin to buckle. The pain in my ribs is worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. Each step is agony; each breath feels like I’m inhaling fire. Step by step, I walk until I can wave down the nearest cab. This takes me an hour and a half, and by the time I get into the cab, I am panting, sweating and gagging in pain. I rasp out Jackson’s address, knowing no one will be home. They can’t see me like this. It’s well into the evening now, but Jackson is never usually there until late.
When I arrive at his house, I thrust a twenty at the cab driver who barely gives me a second glance. I hobble out, feeli
ng vomit rising in my throat from the pain. I fumble with the keys Addison gave me, and unlock the front door. As soon as I step in, I hear screaming. I lift my head and blink through my tears to see Jackson buck naked, standing with a shocked look on his face. Muff is doing the same thing, and there’s a woman on the couch, bent over it, naked, and panting. Oh...OH. They were...oh...they were having sex. All of them. All three of them. Holy shit. I hear the frantic shuffle of clothing as they scurry to get dressed.
If I wasn’t about to lose the contents of my stomach, I’d probably scream and blush, running out of the house muttering apologies, but I can’t even make myself turn. My head is spinning, and sweat is trickling down my face. My vision begins to blur, and I suddenly feel hot all over. My stomach churns, and I begin gagging. Thump. Thump. Thump. It’s all I can feel, all I can hear. I reach out to try and grip something, anything to stop me falling, but there’s nothing around.
“Serenity?” Jackson says.
I feel my eyes roll, and as if in slow motion, my body begins to fall forward. Jackson is there, I don’t know how. His arms go around me and my face crashes into his sweaty, hard chest. As his grip tightens around my mid-section, I let out a piercing scream. The pain that shoots through my body is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.
“Stop, stop!” I bellow, squirming in his arms.
“Hey, it’s ok. I got you.”
“Jack’s, I think she’s hurt.”
That was Muff.
I feel my back hit the soft couch a moment later, I’m not really sure how I get to it, and I hear Jackson bark at the girl, “Get out.”
I hear a protest, and then the shuffling of clothes before the front door slams. I open my eyes, and Jackson is leaning over me. I realize I’m still clinging to him, and I quickly let go. He presses a hand to my ribs, and I scream, squirming. Before I can protest, he has my shirt up. An angry, loud curse leaves his mouth; before he stands and kicks something, I am pretty sure it’s the coffee table.
“He found you again?” Jackson barks. “Where the fuck is he?”
I open my mouth to answer, but what can I say? I have to lie. I can’t tell Jackson he is in town.
“He...he didn’t find me. It’s...it’s just the old injury. I fell this afternoon, I was walking home and a car swerved, I had to leap out of the way and I landed on them. It’s hurting so badly. I don’t know why...”
Jackson looks down at me, narrowing his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me it was so bad?”
“Because it’s not your problem,” I cry. “You’ve done enough.”
“You could have punctured something if they aren’t healed right,” he barks. “So it is my fuckin’ problem if you die in my fuckin’ house.”
I close my eyes, and the tears finally fall.
“Jack’s, it ain’t the time to abuse her,” Muff barks. “She needs a hospital.”
“Get my truck, I’ll carry her out.”
I open my eyes wide, and shake my head furiously. “I can’t go to the hospital.”
Jackson leans down, scooping me up into his arms. “I ain’t givin’ you a fuckin’ choice.”
“Jackson, please,” I beg. “I can’t answer their questions.”
“You let me deal with them, but you’re goin’.”
“Jackson, please...”
He looks down at me, his eyes hard. “Enough.”
I open my mouth, but he gives me a look that has me quickly closing it again. He carries me out front as Muff pulls the truck into the drive. He gets out, leaving it running, and helps Jackson put me in the front seat. Jackson walks around and gets into the driver’s side, and Muff leans in, looking down at me.
“Sorry you had to see us like that,” he says, smiling down at me sympathetically.
I return the smile, though mine is a little wobbly. “Different strokes for different folks,” I croak. “It doesn’t bother me.”
His brows raise, and a small smile creeps across his lips. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I rasp.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
He winks at me, and then leans back, slapping his hand on the roof. “Take care of her boss.”
I turn to Jackson, expecting him to be staring out the windscreen, but instead he’s giving me a strange expression. It takes me a minute to realize he’s shocked that I didn’t react to the position I found them in.
“It doesn’t worry you?” he asks, throwing the truck into reverse.
“That you like threesomes?” I groan, resting my head against the headrest.
Breathe in and out, focus on easing the pain.
“Yeah.”
“Why would it?” I whisper.
“Most women find it...slutty.”
I close my eyes, letting out a deep, painful breath. “Well, I’m not most women.”
Jackson is silent a moment, before he murmurs, “No, you ain’t.”
~*~*~*~
SERENITY
The hospital is quiet, so we get in right away. The nurse asks questions, but Jackson shuts her down quickly. She accepts only my name. He tells her I am in trouble, and that kind of information can’t be given. She seems to accept this, maybe because Jackson is giving her a serious ‘don’t fuck with me’ look. She gets a doctor, who goes over me. He checks everything, straps my ribs, and gives me some good painkillers, and then we’re on our way home.
The ride is quiet. I’m grateful to Jackson for taking the time out to help me, when he really didn’t have to. By the time we arrive home, it’s well after midnight. We slip inside the house quietly, as Addi will no doubt be asleep. I turn to Jackson when he flicks the kitchen light on, and for a long moment, our eyes just meet and hold.
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
He nods, dropping his keys onto the counter. “Anytime.”
He’s about to turn away, when I whisper, “Why are you helping me?”
Stopping, he turns and meets my gaze dead on. “’Coz you ain’t got anyone else, ‘coz I know how it feels to be trapped, and ‘coz I fuckin’ want to.”
God.
He wants to?
My heart begins beating so hard, I struggle to breathe. Jackson gets to me; he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. There’s been no one in my life that’s ever made me feel like this. I had a boyfriend for a few months, but it didn’t last. My father made sure of it when he found us naked, after a poor attempt at my first sexual encounter. My father beat him nearly to death. Pathetic, isn’t it? You have a father that hates your guts, but will beat any man that goes near you, just so he can push his authority. He wasn’t doing it out of love for me; he was doing it for his own benefit.
It’s terrible, tragic, and pathetic, but it’s the truth. I’ve been with my father, following his every command, since I was a little girl. I was never going to touch anyone at the club, and they learned very quickly to stop trying. I never got to go out much; I was forever babysitting, or working the bar. And now, my heart is pounding, my body is shaking, and if I’m willing to admit it to myself, my pussy is throbbing. Shit. I want Jackson. I. Want. Jackson.
This is so wrong.
But I can’t stop it.
I step up close, gently going up onto my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. His entire body jerks, and his hands shoot out to steady my body, holding me still. I shudder at the feeling of his hands on my hips, and the urge to press myself against him, is massive. I pull back, and for a solid few seconds, we just stare. I can see the lust in his eyes, and as much as I am trying to hide it, I know he can see it in mine. I lower my eyes to his lips, and Christ, I want to kiss him. He’s older than me. He’s the enemy. I’m lying to him. Yet, I want to kiss him.
Before I can think about it any further, my face is moving closer to his. I feel his fingers tighten around my hips, and his entire body stiffens. He makes a growling sound, and the moment my lips graze his, he hisses. God, his lips - soft, supple, and tasty. The kiss is no more than a graze, feather soft and light. I
feel only a moment of his lips against mine, before we’re interrupted and snapped back into reality.
“Daddy, is that you?” Addison calls down the stairs.
Jackson lets me go, and I stumble, taking two steps backwards before getting my footing. I let out a loud wince at the tightening in my rib area. Addison walks into the room, looking sleepy and disheveled. She doesn’t even notice that Jackson and I are panting and look anywhere but at each other.
“There you are Serenity; I was looking for you earlier.”
“I was having some pain. Jackson, um, took me to the hospital.”
Her eyes widen. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Daddy, you should have called me.”
Jackson tears his piercing gaze from mine, and stares at his daughter a moment before grunting, “I’m goin’ to bed.”
Then he’s gone. I hear his door slam, and I feel my heart ache.
“What’s his problem?” Addi asks, staring at the stairs he just disappeared up.
“I don’t know, maybe he’s tired.”
She gives me a look, and then sighs. “I can’t believe you were in pain and didn’t tell me.”
“It didn’t really come on until this afternoon. I’m ok now.”
“Are you sure?”
I smile weakly, and nod. “I’m sure. I’m going to get some sleep, ok?”
“Yeah, ok. Night honey.”
“Night Addi.”
I walk up the stairs slowly, and then I slip into my room. I can see Jackson’s light on, and I feel my heart thump. I hate that I want him. It’s so wrong. I have to cut it off, now. If he found out what I was doing, he’d likely kill me. I can’t hurt him like that. I can’t have any sort of feelings towards him. It would be so wrong.
I crawl into my bed, and pull the covers up over my body. It takes me a moment to find a position that doesn’t hurt. I’m lying down, light on, just staring at the roof when my door opens. I lift my head to see Jackson standing at the door, shirtless, panting, and giving me a stare so hungry it has me clenching my legs together to stop the ache. He walks in, stopping at the edge of the bed and looking down at me.
“Jackson, what...”
“You kiss a man, you do it fuckin’ properly.”