And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
He looks toward the ground as I stare at him wordlessly, unable to believe what I’ve just heard. Of course I know that poem; it’s one of my favorites. But to hear Kieron speak the enchanting words of Lord Byron directed at me…
“Thank you, that was beautiful,” I whisper, not knowing what to say. How does one properly express the euphoric, dream-like state I’m in?
He glances up, almost shyly. “I was hoping you wouldn’t think it was totally corny. Certain parts really struck me as…well...I hope it’s all right I shared that with you.”
“It’s more than all right, I love it.”
He grins shyly. “I like how I don’t feel stupid telling you things like this. If I told anyone else how much I liked poetry they’d think I was a total wuss.”
I smile. “I don’t think you’re a wuss at all. I love poetry. It’s powerful and deep. Most people just don’t get it.”
“But you do.”
“Yeah…I get it…” My words fade away.
“Can I read you one more?” he asks. But this time he doesn’t look shy or embarrassed. He looks almost afraid. “This one…well, it’s more about me. How I feel.”
“Please do,” I urge.
I sense his hesitation, and he looks away, unable to meet my gaze. He’s quiet for so long, I begin to fear he’s changed his mind.
“I’ve never told this to anyone before…read the poem, I mean.”
“I’d really like to hear it,” I say softly.
He takes another deep breath and fixes his gaze on a headstone. “Okay…here it goes, it’s called We Wear the Mask. Do you know it?”
I shake my head.
He pauses briefly, and then begins to speak…slowly, quietly. There is a marked change in his tone. When he recited the first poem he sounded confident, strong, and lyrical. Now he sounds sad and remorseful, almost haunted.
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
My breath is short as he finishes. “It’s about hiding your pain and unhappiness and pretending everything is good and normal and wonderful when it’s really not. Pretending to be one way, when you’re really another way.”
“Yeah, I got that,” I whisper. Why did he say this poem was about him?
What is he hiding?
What mask is he wearing?
Chapter 14. Liora
“What do you wanna see?” Corinne asks, scanning the marquee. Her round eyes are wide with excitement, and I’m happy to see she’s back to her normal self. It’s only been four days since the gruesome discovery at school, and I’d been concerned about her, especially since we hadn’t seen each other since then.
She was so thrilled when I called her last night and reminded her about our plans. I tried to match her excitement, but the truth was, I was sad. Sad because even though it had only been a few days, I hadn’t seen Kieron since that afternoon in the cemetery.
Being with Corrine helps to take my mind off him, if only for a few hours. It felt a little strange at first, coming here with her. Although we’ve spent time at school together for the past few years and talked on the phone occasionally, this is the first time we’ve actually hung out away from school.
“It’s your birthday…you decide,” I say as I lick my chocolate ice cream cone. We’d just walked to the theater on Main Street after eating lunch at the diner down the block.
“Well, I don’t want to choose something you won’t like…I want you to have fun, too…”
“Anything you pick is fine. Promise.”
Corinne squints her eyes, pondering her choices. I glance at the list of titles and almost drop my cone when I see one titled Demon Desires.
Good God, please don’t pick that one, I pray silently. I’ve never seen any movie or TV show with demons that’s anything short of cringe-worthy. Viewing them is downright painful sometimes, with their cheesy, pathetic caricatures of demons and their lifestyles. Grossly misinformed.
“Okay, I want to see Demon Desires,” she says.
Of course you do.
“It’s supposed to be a horror, are you cool with that?”
More like a slapstick comedy you mean. “Sure, whatever you like.”
I could kick myself. Why didn’t I just say that horror movies give me nightmares? It wouldn’t even be a lie, really. This lame movie probably will give me nightmares…daymares, whatever.
It’s my treat, so I step up to the window to buy our tickets. I try not to choke on my words as I say, “Two for Demon Desires, please.” But Corrine is happy, and today is about her, not me. I just have to put my demonic issues aside for a few hours.
As it turns out, I barely make it six minutes before I start laughing at a ‘scary’ part. Corrine shushes me with an annoyed scowl, but I can’t help it; it’s just so ridiculous. I mean really, the music, the makeup…and seriously, why are Hollywood demons always so ugly, with horns and glowing yellow or red eyes? Well, I have to admit some demons have yellow eyes, and a few have red eyes, sometimes…but certainly not all of them. And I’ve never seen any with horns…well, except a few of the creatures…like the satyrs.
“How’d you like it?” Corinne asks as we exit the theater two torturous hours later. I shield my eyes from the bright sun.
“It was all right, I guess.”
“I thought it was awesome…imagine falling in love with the man of your dreams only to find out he’s a demon and he wants you to bear his evil spawn? That would totally suck, huh?”
“Totally.”
We walk toward my car. “So what do you want to do now?” I ask, unlocking the doors.
Corrine slides in the passenger side and snaps on her seatbelt. “Um, I dunno…do you want to hang out more?” She sounds almost shy, but hopeful.
“Sure, I have a few more hours if you want.”
“Wanna cruise around the mall?”
“Sounds good. I wouldn’t mind looking for some new tops,” I say, surprising myself. I’ve never been one for shopping; that’s Lucky’s department. She’s the fashionista. I prefer not to stand out or be noticed, hence the ‘all black all the time’.
“Oh, I just wanna walk around and look at stuff,” Corinne mumbles. “I don’t have any money to actually buy anything. But, of course, you can if you want…”
“It’s your birthday. We’ll find you something cute…my treat.”
“Liora, no. You don’t have to…I didn’t mean for you…”
“I insist. No arguing.” I pull out of the movie theater parking lot and head toward the Riverdale Shopping Center fifteen miles away. I don’t know where my sudden urge to bond with Corrine is coming from, but making her happy is making me happy. So I’m going with it.
“Liora, can I ask you something…something kinda personal? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Corinne asks as I merge onto the highway.
The tone in her voice puts me instantly on guard, and I grip the wheel tight. Please don’t push it, Corrine… “Sure, what’s up?”
“Umm, I was just wondering…have you ever, you know…done it with a bo
y?”
I exhale and press my lips together to keep from laughing. That’s just about the last thing I expected her to say right then. “No, I haven’t…Have you?”
She looks down at her lap and fidgets with her seatbelt. “No, but I want to. I want to be in love. I want love like those people in the movie had…crazy love.”
Good grief. “Well, not to sound like your mother or anything, but you know that sex and love aren’t the same thing. And insane love isn’t necessarily good love, either…”
“I don’t know whose mom you think you’re channeling, but it’s definitely not mine,” she says with a grimace. Well, at least she has a sense of humor about her wanton mother.
“I just mean,” she continues, “just imagine being so super crazy in love with someone that nothing can tear you apart, no matter what…no matter how awful or scary or horrible or anything. I want someone to love me like that…and then that’s where the sex would happen. Obviously.”
Obviously. “Yeah, I mean, it would be cool to be in love and all, and have someone be super in love with me…but not like those people…in the movie I mean. That was just creepy and all kinds of wrong.” My eyes stay focused on the road ahead. I rarely drive on the highway, so I’m more concerned with the cars flying past than I am with Corrine’s deluded sex life.
“I guess…”
I glance over my shoulder as I change lanes, and catch the disappointed look on her face. “Her feelings for the demon weren’t real… she thought she loved him, but did she really? He possessed her to feel that way about him. And he killed her family and friends when they discovered the truth about him. I don’t think that’s someone I would want to love…”
“Yeah, I know…I wasn’t talking about that part necessarily, just…when they were together…how much he loved her…so much so that it made him do all these crazy things…”
“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I ask, trying to steer her away from the crazy movie she apparently now thinks represents some sort of romantic ideal.
She blushes and pushes up her glasses. “No, not really.”
“Well, you will one day. And when you do, I hope you want someone who treats you better than that dumb guy in the movie.”
“Sorry,” she mumbles, looking out the passenger window.
I’m confused. “Sorry for what?”
“Sorry I made you watch that stupid movie.”
Oh, great. Now I’m coming off like a righteous bitch…taking that movie waay too seriously. It’s not her fault it offended me personally on so many levels. She thinks we’re just having a girly-bonding chat over a make-believe fantasy story, and I go and get all sanctimonious on her. No wonder I don’t have any friends.
“Oh, come on, I liked it,” I lie. “I just don’t think that I would exactly want to model my love life after it is all…I mean demons…eww.”
“He was pretty sexy when he was pretending to be a human, though,” Corinne giggles. “I’d almost be willing to overlook the whole demony-thing to have a guy that good-looking be interested in me.”
I send her a sideways glance and wink. “Be careful what you wish for… you never know what might come creeping in your room late at night…”
She laughs. “I know, I know, you’re right. That movie was pretty lame, I guess…I mean, who ever heard of a demon that looked like some sort of male underwear model? Puhleeze.”
I have to smile. That was the only part the stupid movie actually got right. As a rule, demons, male and female, are far more beautiful than normal humans. And humans are so weakened by beauty, they’re practically powerless against it; it’s in their DNA. So physical perfection is in ours. That’s just how things work. When She takes over, even I become more attractive than I normally am. I know, because I’ve peeked in her world once or twice and have seen the way the guys look at her…with such lust and desire. Especially her friend, Bones. No one ever looks at me the way they look at Lucky.
“Totally ridiculous,” I laugh.
******
We take a break from window shopping and head to the food court. I order corndogs and a strawberry lemonade, and then pay for Corrine’s Chinese food, even though she keeps insisting I’ve done too much already. I’d bought her a charm necklace earlier and got such a kick from her squeals of delight. After all, what good is the money I have from Lucky’s extortions if it doesn’t make someone less fortunate happy?
We sit off to the side of the food court, by the planters. The mall is crowded today, and I see a few faces I recognize.
“So, have you heard anything new about what happened at school?” Neither Corrine nor I have mentioned the tragedy earlier this week, but it’s still on my mind. Tatiana is good for a lot of information, but human stuff…not so much. “I wonder if the police have any leads,” I add, nibbling the breading of my corndog.
Corrine grimaces and fiddles with her chopsticks. After dropping her noodles several times, she gives up, picks up her fork, and begins twirling. “I saw Jake Wheeler at the Suds-n-Spin yesterday. His uncle works for the Pine Canyon police department. Apparently they think the murders in Pine Canyon last week and what happened at school are related.”
“So it’s like a serial killer thing?”
She pokes at her sweet-n-sour chicken. “Guess so. But he says they think it’s more than just one person. And I guess they found some weird stuff that makes them think it’s not normal killings.”
I chuckle at her choice of words. ‘Normal killings’.
“Like what?”
“He couldn’t say much for details, just they suspect that it’s a few people at least, and that they’re into witchcraft or devil worship or something.”
My heart skips a beat. I slowly eat several French fries and drink some lemonade before speaking again. “What makes them think that?” I hope my voice sounds casual.
She shrugs. “Dunno, he didn’t really say. Just something they saw. Weird markings, maybe? I don’t really believe in that stuff. Probably just a couple of sick psychopaths…like that movie Kalifornia with Brad Pitt…you ever see it?”
I shake my head, and squirt some mustard on my corndog.
“It’s really weird. Brad Pitt plays a serial killer, and—”
“Corrine, focus.”
She takes a sip of her coke. “I don’t know what to say…that’s all Jake told me.”
“Do they know who the girl is yet?”
She shrugs again and stands up, gathering her trash. “He didn’t say anything about that. Look, I’m sorry, but I really don’t wanna talk about this anymore…it freaks me out too much.”
I nod, following her lead. We toss our stuff away and head back to the main mall. A few stores down, we pause to look at some pretty gowns in the window. Corrine grabs my arm. “Oooh, let’s go in there and try some on…just for fun.”
Ugh. I can’t think of anything less fun than that. But it’s still her day, so I follow her inside.
We enter the fancy boutique, ignoring the looks of disdain from the salesclerk who sizes us up and dismisses us, realizing there’s no commission to be made here. I laugh to myself thinking how differently she’d treat us if she only knew that less than one week ago, I had more money in my hand than she’ll make in five years. She greets us with an icy smile, then moves away to watch us from a distance, making sure we don’t do anything to harm one of her precious dresses.
“Ohhh, this one is so pretty,” Corrine says with a longing sigh. She’s holding up a long, pink frilly concoction that looks horrible with her dishwater hair and ruddy skin tone.
“Try it on,” I say. If it makes her happy, why not?
“Are you going to try on anything?” she asks.
“Mmm…dunno. Maybe, if I see something I really like,” I say, though I have zero intention of playing dress up. I just want Corrine to have some fun.
I wander through the racks of beads and satin, fingering several gowns. For a brief flash I imagine myself wearing one at a formal danc
e with Kieron. This one…the silver and rhinestone silky one. I hold the delicate fabric up to my body for a moment before returning it to the rack. Like that would ever happen. Ever. Unless, of course, schools start holding dances at noon. Why bother even fantasizing?
“So, what do you think?” Corrine asks hopefully as she emerges in the hideous pink dress. Its tight fit hugs her ample figure unforgivingly, but she spins around like a supermodel.
I smile at her. “You totally rock it.”
She sighs, looking at the price tag. “I mean, I know I can never buy something like this, and where would I even wear it? It’s not like I’ll ever have a date to the dance. No one’s ever asked me to a dance,” she mumbles, the corners of her mouth turning down.
My heart goes out to her. Funny how I’ve never thought of Corrine and me being in the same boat before.
“School dances are totally lame anyways,” I say, trying to cheer her up. “I’m never going to one, either.”
Corrine admires herself in the three-way mirror, and I catch the salesgirl eyeing us disapprovingly. “Yeah, but that’s your own choice. I’m sure guys would ask you if you’d put your guard down, ever. And what about Kieron? I’ve seen how he looks at you. I bet he’ll ask you if you’re nice to him.”
Just hearing his name makes my chest feel fuller. Corrine returns to the dressing room to change and I follow, leaning by the door. “I don’t think he’ll ask me. But even if he does, I can’t go.”
“Why not?”
“Because you know I can’t leave my grandma—”
“No, I mean why don’t you think he’ll ask you? I haven’t really noticed him even talking to anyone but you. Whenever you guys are by each other, you just look so, I dunno…right together. Like you match or something. It seems logical he’d ask you.” She doesn’t sound even the tiniest bit jealous or bothered by her observation. Considering how gaga she was over him, this seems like a pretty quick recovery.
“Kieron and I are just friends,” I say.
She chuckles from the other side of the door. “Sure. He was reading you poetry and took you on a romantic fishing trip? Trust me, he’s interested in being more than just friends.”