“How does he know my father?” I didn’t mean to phrase it that way; I’d meant to ask her if he knew my father. But sometime between Nevada and now, I’d come to believe that he did. The only question left was how.
Penny glanced nervously toward the open door. She could hear the men coming for her. She was scared, but not for herself. Her concern was for me.
“Talia, listen to me. Look inside of yourself, all of the answers are there. You just need to be willing to accept the truth.”
I didn’t get a chance to ask her what that meant. A team of Operatives, led by Mac and Erik, stormed into the ruins. Mac and another man seized Penny, forcing her to the floor. Erik pulled me out of the way.
“You can’t trust him. You can’t trust any of these people,” she screamed in my head. “Please just listen to me. Find Ian. I promise, I’ve always been your friend even before we met in the Hunters’ Village.”
I shook my head, trying to clear Penny’s voice as it forced its way in. All of her mental barricades were down, and the rush of thoughts and images was suffocating. It suddenly became hard to breathe, like her memories were physically crushing my lungs. The weight of her mind caused my knees to buckle, and I fell to the ground. Broken glass tore through my jeans and ripped my flesh. The pain brought the room back into focus, but I couldn’t hold on to it.
Erik’s arms encircled me from behind, cradling me to his chest. The room no longer existed. All I saw were Penny’s memories dancing like clouds through my head.
“Force her out,” Erik whispered in my ear.
The sound of his voice helped me summon the strength to do just that. I pushed against her mind until the weight of her consciousness lifted, the effort causing me to collapse into Erik’s arms. A low keening started in my throat and built to a blood-curdling scream that tore my vocal chords as I processed what I’d just seen. Erik tried to calm me, but I was past the point of reason.
Mac and his men were dragging a struggling Penny to her feet. Every Operative not actively trying to contain her had his weapon trained on Penny. Her hair was quickly turning dark red from a wound on her scalp. Her cheek was already swelling from where one of the men had slammed her into the floor. When she opened her mouth to speak, Mac’s elbow connected with her temple.
I watched, horrified as she slumped against one of the men holding her. I wanted to cry out, tell them to stop. But I couldn’t. What had I expected to happen when I sent Erik for Mac? Had I thought that he would politely ask her to accompany him to interrogation? If he wasn’t so concerned about me, Erik’s hands would be around her throat, choking the life from her.
“Everything is okay now,” Erik soothed, running a hand over my hair. He was still attempting to calm me, but his words had no effect. They weren’t true. Everything was not okay. Everything would never be okay.
The horrible sound coming from my mouth died off as the Operatives carried a now-unconscious Penny up the hallway. I watched their retreat until my vision blurred and the angry black dots connected. Then, I passed out.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Calloused fingers tickled my arm. The sensation was pleasant, and I didn’t want it to stop. I felt a slight tug on my head while someone played with my curls. I smiled. Erik must be impatient, waiting for me to wake up so that we could go have breakfast. I turned into him, reaching for his warm body. A sharp stinging sensation shot up my arm when the back of my hand made contact with cold metal. My eyes shot open, and clear blue irises fluttered into focus. Not Erik. Donavon. Antiseptic filled my nostrils, but when I tried to wrinkle my nose, I found that I couldn’t. Something was in it. Frantically, I clawed at the plastic tubing.
“Easy, Talia,” Donavon whispered.
“Am I in Medical?” I asked drowsily.
“You are. You have been for a couple of days now,” he answered, still stroking my arm.
“A couple of days? Why does this keep happening?” I moaned.
Donavon chuckled softly. “Dr. Thistler said that the overload of emotions, coupled with the fact you hadn’t taken your medicine, sent you over the edge.”
“Overload of emotions? But we just kissed,” I said, confused. I thought back to the night on the ledge. Erik was right; he did overstimulate me. I smiled at the thought. Erik was going to have to learn patience. Where was Erik? I frowned. If he was the reason that I was now in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and a breathing machine, the least he could do was sit by my sickbed. A serious talk about his priorities was in our future.
“Kissed?” Donavon asked, looking confused now.
“Where’s Erik?” I demanded.
Hurt clouded Donavon’s clear eyes. His jaw hardened and his lips pursed into a thin, angry line at the mention of the boy who he considered his rival.
“We’re on lockdown. Dad sent him back to Headquarters until further notice.”
Wasn’t I at Headquarters? Then I remembered Donavon saying something about Dr. Thistler; if she was treating me, then I was probably at school.
“What is the last thing you remember?” Donavon asked, speaking slowly, enunciating every word.
I had to think. I remembered being in Erik’s room at Headquarters. We were lying in his bed, kissing. There was paper everywhere. Then I remember standing in the doorway to his room. He was about to tell me that he loved me, but I’d stopped him. Why had I stopped him? What could’ve been more important than hearing those words come from Erik’s lips? Penny......
“Oh, my God,” I gasped, trying to sit up. The machine next to my bed emitted a long, alarming screech. The beeps on the heart monitor stopped being individually distinguishable. Every excruciating detail came rushing back.
“No, no,” I moaned, the all-too-familiar tears stinging the backs of my eyes.
“Shhh. Just relax. She’s where she belongs,” Donavon said, wiping at the tears with his rough fingers.
“How could she be a spy?” I wailed.
Donavon didn’t get the opportunity to answer as Medics rushed into the room, responding to my out-of-control vitals. The first one through the door shoved Donavon aside. The Medic reached for my IV and plunged a syringe full of yellowish liquid into the port. The medicine quickly reached my bloodstream, and my flailing limbs stilled, now heavy with the chemicals. Suddenly, moving required too much effort. I sought out Donavon, now standing against the far wall. He smiled and nodded reassuringly.
Once my vitals returned to acceptable levels, the Medics retreated just as quickly as they’d come. Donavon moved back to my side.
“Why don’t you try to sleep?” he suggested gently.
I shook my head vehemently, fighting the drowsiness. “I don’t want to. No more sleep,” I slurred. It was a losing battle.
“It’s better this way,” Donavon whispered, stroking my cheek.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the two scars on his palm. “Sorry I bit you,” I mumbled.
“It’s okay, I deserved it,” came his quiet reply.
Then I lost consciousness again.
I spent another week in Medical. Most of my time there was spent in a drug-induced slumber, under Mac’s orders; he thought it best that I recover my strength without unnecessary distractions. He didn’t allow me many visitors, and I felt like I was back in my bedroom at his house, cut off from the outside world.
Donavon came every day. By unspoken agreement, we didn’t discuss our fight further and put our mutual, lingering animosity aside. He sat with me while I slept. Even though I was barely conscious, I always felt his presence, and I actually welcomed it. In one of my more lucid moments, he told me that he’d talked to Erik and let him know that I was okay. He passed on Erik’s sentiments of concern, despite the fact it obviously pained him to do so. I regretted that I’d been too chicken to just tell Donavon the truth from the beginning that we would never get back together. I wanted to call Erik myself, but Mac wouldn’t approve it. He said that once that I was feeling better he’d reconsider.
M
ac came every day, too. He congratulated me on uncovering the spy. He informed me that Toxic had launched a full-scale investigation to determine how deeply the Coalition had penetrated. So far, Penny hadn’t cracked under psychic interrogation, but he assured me that it was just a matter of time. Mac had the good grace to refrain from suggesting that I question her myself, and I was glad. The thought of being in the same room with her caused my blood to boil and my heart monitor to spike.
Gretchen came to visit several times as well. She didn’t say much. Mostly she just sat with me, but I appreciated her company when I registered it. She was the least stressful visitor that I could ’ve asked for. When we did talk, she never mentioned Penny. Instead, she teased me about my relationship with Erik. If it had been anyone else, I probably would have thought she was being nosey, but I knew that she was just trying to improve my mood. She’d always hoped that I would marry her son, but really, she just wanted me to be happy.
Dr. Wythe made a couple of very unwelcome visits. He asked probing questions that I didn’t feel like answering. I usually fell asleep midway through our sessions, and when I woke, he was gone. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to avoid him forever, but the drugs at least helped to prolong the inevitable.
Donavon snuck Kenly in towards the end of my stay in Medical. She rambled about all the training she’d been doing in my absence, and assured me that Donavon was a suitable substitute until I was back on my feet. Despite the progress that Donavon insisted she was making, I knew in my heart that she would never be ready in time. Her crowning achievement – preventing me from breaking my leg – hadn’t been hers at all. I now knew that it had been Penny who kept me from falling. I enjoyed Kenly’s visit, but she reminded me too much of my ex-best friend; I asked Donavon not to bring her again.
When the trifecta of Mac, Dr. Thistler, and Dr. Wythe were finally convinced that I could function without the help of drugs or machines, they agreed to let me move back to Mac’s house. It wasn’t my first choice, but it was certainly better than the hospital. Dr. Thistler insisted that I be under constant supervision, so returning to my room in Instructor housing was out. In the aftermath of what happened with Penny, I was still in no condition to go before the Placement Committee, so returning to the Hunters was not in my immediate future either.
As soon as I was settled in my old bedroom, I begged Mac to let me call Erik; I needed to hear his voice. I wanted to tell him about the accusations that Penny made before he and Mac had barged in – the accusations that nearly mirrored Crane’s. But I knew that I couldn’t. All of my communications were being monitored and recorded, and I had no intention of making the statements part of the official report. If I’d thought that Mac had me on a short leash before, now I would be nearly tethered to his side.
Surprisingly, Mac agreed to grant me phone privileges, on the condition that I use his communicator. I didn’t see the point, but my own had been confiscated – ostensibly to review all the messages that I’d ever exchanged with Penny. Mac assured me that it wasn’t because I was under any kind of suspicion; it was, after all, protocol.
“Hello? Tal?” Erik’s relieved voice came through the communicator.
Tears welled up in my eyes when his tiny holographic image appeared. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t even know what to say.
“How are you feeling? The Director won’t let me come see you. We’re on lockdown here until after the sentencing. They even recalled all the Hunters out on missions.”
“I’m okay,” I sniffed. “I wish you were here.”
The words that Penny had spoken before the cavalry arrived were still engrained in my mind, but the images she’d projected were fading. They were becoming dim watercolors of the originals, and I wanted to tell Erik about them before they were completely erased from my memory. Somehow, it was just like the way that I couldn’t clearly recall what had happened after the bullet struck me in Nevada.
“I know, Tal,” he soothed. “I wish I was there, too. I wish that I could hold you.”
“I wish that you could do more than hold me,” I said.
“Why, Talia Lyons, are you trying to have phone sex with me? And on the Director’s communicator, no less. You should be ashamed of yourself,” he teased. “Some Brain is going to appreciate an earful of very graphic details, if that’s the case.”
I gave a thin laugh. Only Erik would say something so ridiculous right then.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” I chastised. “I wish that you could take the pain away.” Right now, I didn’t care how weak needing him made me. I liked the numb detachment that the drugs provided me, and I knew that Erik could give me the same feeling without the side effects.
“If I was there with you in that big bed, there wouldn’t be any pain. Just never-ending pleasure,” he said suggestively.
“How did you know that I was in a big bed?”
“I’ve got a good imagination. Want to know what you’re wearing?”
I laughed again. I was pretty sure that whatever Erik’s overactive libido pictured me wearing would give the listening ears way too much good gossip for the rumor mill.
“Thanks, Erik,” I said softly.
“For what? Making you blush?”
“No. For being you.” Though I was indeed blushing.
“As soon as the sentencing is over, I’ll be there. The Captain and Henri have agreed to grant me some leave to stay with you. Even the Director said that it would be okay,” he promised.
I was shocked. Mac had agreed to that? He must figure that the best way to keep an eye on us would be if we were under his own roof. I almost couldn’t say that I blamed him after the way our earlier conversation had gone.
“What do you think will happen at the trial?” I asked, abruptly taking the conversation in a sharp turn toward serious.
Erik didn’t answer right away. I could tell that he was measuring his words carefully, trying to find the best way to tell me what I already knew.
“Well, um......,” he cleared his throat loudly. “There probably won’t be a trial. People accused of treason don’t usually get trials. And they’ll have at least some of the security footage from the ...confrontation. They know that she basically admitted to being a spy.”
“I see. Will I have to go?” I really didn’t want to be there.
“Probably. She’ll also be charged with conspiracy to commit murder.”
Oh, right, my murder.
“I’ve already asked for permission to go to the sentencing with you. Henri doesn’t think that the Director will grant it, but I’m trying.”
“Thanks,” I said, tears filling my eyes again. Dr. Thistler had ordered extra doses of my medication to dull the out-of-control rage that I’d been experiencing, but it actually left me more emotional than ever. I kept crying for no reason. At least that’s what the doctors and Mac told me. Secretly, I thought that without my anger, I was left with only the wounded feelings of betrayal and the loss of someone that I’d considered my best friend.
Neither of us spoke for several long moments, but I didn’t want to get off the phone with him yet. Just hearing his voice made me feel so much better.
“So ...about that phone sex. I’m thinking that you’re wearing something see-through. Purple, of course. Lacy, definitely lacy,” he said thoughtfully.
I choked on the mixture of my laughter and tears.
“I love you, Erik,” I whispered. “You don’t have to say it, too,” I hurried on, not giving him the chance to reply. “I know you were about to before, but I just wanted to tell you now, like this. I wanted you to know that it’s for real, and not because of anything that either one of us makes the other one say or do.”
“I love you, Natalia,” he said in a confident tone. Then he laughed softly. “Man, I’ve never said that before. To anyone. Feels kinda weird. Weird in a good way,” he assured me.
“I’ll see you soon,” I said tiredly. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, but my eyes were starting
to close.
“Call me whenever the Director lets you. I’m doing everything that I can to be there ...at the sentencing. Either way, I’ll be there before you know it.”
“Okay. I’ll do everything I can to convince Gretchen that I need something purple, see-through, and lacy,” I said.
“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep,” he playfully warned.
“I never do,” I mumbled, my exhausted body sinking deeper into the soft inviting mattress. After a week in the hospital, my old bed felt like heaven.
“Bye, Tals. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Mac let me sleep late the next day before impatiently barging into my bedroom without knocking, Janet in tow.
“Morning, Mac,” I greeted him sluggishly. I was still exhausted, and so not ready for his company. “Hey, Janet,” I greeted her more warmly.
“It’s afternoon, Natalia. And I need you to give an official statement now. We really cannot put this off any longer. The sentencing is in a couple of days, and the Judge will need it. It’s protocol,” Mac insisted. I hated protocol.
“And you didn’t think that bribing me with breakfast might get me to talk faster?” I said sarcastically.
“I shouldn’t have to bribe you. It is your duty as a Toxic Operative to give a report when you are involved in an incident. Under the circumstances, I have let it go for longer than normal, but it cannot wait any longer.” Mac was definitely short on patience this morning, and I didn’t blame him. The whole ordeal had been a nightmare for both of us. He’d been making daily visits to Tramblewood to question Penny, but always made sure to return at a decent hour so that he could see me while I was awake. I was sure that he wanted the incident behind him almost as much as I did.
“Fine. Where do you want me to start?” I replied shortly.