CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JOSH HAD BEEN trying hard to keep things light, to forget about the night he’d told Emma he loved her. He could rationalize—he could understand—that she needed more time, but his head and his heart were a considerable distance apart on the matter.
Emma had made the effort to come see him, and that said something.
He swung his arm around her shoulder as they strolled to his house. Winston greeted Emma enthusiastically when she walked in, but his tail drooped and he gave her a mournful expression when he realized that his pals didn’t accompany her. With a humanlike sigh, he trudged off into the kitchen.
Josh watched him go and shook his head. “I might have to adopt one of the Hansons’ pups, if this keeps up.”
“As you’ve said, they’re pack animals. I know Max is a lot happier since Theo’s come into our lives.”
“You, Theo and Max could just move in here... Sorry,” he added hurriedly when he saw the pained expression on her face.
“Speaking of the Hansons’ pups,” she said, changing the subject, “do you think one would make a good service dog?”
“I don’t know that much about it,” he said, as they walked into his living room. He gave her a considering look. “You’re serious about this?”
“I’m thinking about it. I can’t get it out of my mind.” She glanced away. “I want to do something that’s meaningful. Worthwhile.” She linked and unlinked her fingers in a nervous gesture. “I feel useless, not doing anything.”
He moved to sit next to her. “Don’t think that.” He heard the anger in his own voice and saw her cringe. Slight but there. He tamped down his frustration. “What about the work you’re doing for Elite Consulting?” he asked. “That’s going well, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I suppose. I like working for Arlene...but I’ve noticed a change in her. Something is different, and I’ve been afraid to ask her what it is. I wonder if I’ve made a mistake on something, or she’s just not happy with the quality of my work.”
The exasperation reared up again. To vent it, Josh rose and paced away. “I don’t like hearing you talk like that. Emma, you can do whatever you want to do. Richard was wrong. Morgan was wrong. Your former boss was wrong.”
When he turned back to her, there was a sad little smile playing at her lips. “Really? All those people were wrong and I was right?”
He shoved his hands into his pants pockets to keep from throwing them into the air. “Yeah. They were. If anyone hears negatives and criticism long enough, they’ll start to believe it. It’s time you started hearing the positives and believed in yourself again.”
Emma laced her fingers together again, and he noticed her hands were trembling. She rose, her eyes glistening. “I—I better go.”
Josh cursed himself silently for upsetting her, but he didn’t know what else he could do to get through to her. He took three long strides to stand in front of her and gently rested his hands on her shoulders. “Let’s not talk about that anymore, okay?” He stroked a thumb along the side of her neck. “Please stay.”
She nodded mutely, and lowered to the sofa again, perching on the edge, her back straight and stiff. “Can’t we just go back to the way things were? I don’t want there to be problems between us. I—I care about you a great deal. I’ve missed you...and how we were before.”
Josh reached for her hand and squeezed it. He understood what that admission meant, coming from her. Leaning in, he rested his forehead against hers.
“Can that be enough for now, Josh?” she continued. “Can—”
A loud knock interrupted her. Josh rose to answer it and returned shortly with the sheriff by his side.
Chad Atkins slid off his hat and nodded in greeting toward Emma. “Sorry to interrupt. When I saw your SUV out front, Emma, I thought it would be easier to catch you together.”
Josh gestured for him to sit.
Chad chose an armchair, crossed his legs at the ankles and rested his hat in his lap.
“What’s up, Chad?” Josh sat down beside Emma. “This obviously isn’t a social call.”
“No, it isn’t.” Turning his attention to Emma, he asked, “Have you had any further problems since the incident in the forest?”
She shook her head.
“All right. That’s good.”
“C’mon, Chad. What aren’t you telling us?”
Chad’s gaze met Josh’s. “Those shell casings I found in the forest?” Josh nodded. “They weren’t recent. They’re weathered. They had to have been there for a couple of months, probably since the start of the hunting season.”
Emma’s hand tensed in Josh’s.
Chad looked back at her. “Unfortunately, they don’t help us move forward to determine who injured your dog. One of my deputies and I have questioned a number of the local hunters, and we’ve come up empty there, too.”
“Where does that leave us?” Josh inquired.
“Back at square one, I’m afraid. I went out there with one of my deputies. I wanted to check with you, but your gate was locked. I hope you don’t mind, Emma, but we wanted to have a look.”
“No, that’s fine.”
“Well, we found reasonably fresh footprints leading off the path.” He turned to Emma again. “Do you stay on the trails when you go through the woods or wander off them?”
“I stay on them mostly,” she confirmed. “Especially when I have the dogs with me.”
Chad nodded. “The reason I ask is the footprints were relatively small. It could be a man who wears a small shoe, or a woman who wears a large one. Josh, tell me again about, ah...that former friend of yours.”
“It wasn’t her,” Josh said curtly.
“How can you be sure?” Chad asked.
Josh glanced at Emma. “Because she called me this week.”
Her lips firmed into a straight line. He understood what she might be thinking. He would have told her, if they’d been talking the way they used to.
He gave her a grim smile. “So she could tell me it’s over. If it means no more contact, I don’t care how she rationalizes it in her mind.” He turned back to Chad. “She couldn’t have cut Max. She was out of the country. The reason she said it’s over between us is she’s met someone. A Wall Street investment banker. She said he took her to Mustique for the week. You can check it out and confirm easy enough.”
Chad nodded.
“She did admit she came to my house the day Emma picked up Theo, but she said when she sped off she headed straight back to New York City.”
“So what now?” Emma interjected, her eyes darting back and forth between the two men.
“I’m still inclined to think it was a hunter you encountered in the forest, but just to be on the safe side...” Chad let the words hang for a few moments. “I’m going to have a chat with the guys from the NYPD. I’ve got to get going. “Remember, we’re due to have a couple of beers again soon,” he said to Josh as he rose and put his hat back on.
“Looking forward to it,” Josh said and walked Chad out.
* * *
EMMA TRIED HARD not to dwell on three things. She and Josh didn’t seem to be able to get the equilibrium back in their relationship, and it bothered her. On the surface, everything seemed normal, but there was something missing. She thought of it almost like a light dimming. It still shone, but not as bright. And she knew it was her fault.
Secondly, since the assignments from Pinnacle Communications had dried up completely, she wondered how long Arlene Greenberg would keep giving her work. That shift in their relationship had persisted and she wasn’t sure what had caused it or what it meant.
Finally, the sheriff had continued to inquire about the incident in the woods, but the local hunters either didn’t know anything or weren’t forthcoming. There were still no
leads as to who was responsible. To the best of her knowledge, the NYPD hadn’t given him anything that he could go on, either. The matter concerned her sufficiently that she and the dogs stayed out of the forest.
Without assignments to occupy her, to keep herself from dwelling on the negatives she did some more in-depth research on service-and-therapy dogs, and their training. She reached out to a member of the Operation Pawsitive Change team, and started a discussion about the qualification process of becoming a service-dog trainer. The more she thought about it, the more serious she became about adopting one of the Hansons’ puppies for that purpose.
She was making a sandwich for lunch, although she wasn’t feeling very hungry, when the phone rang. It was a blocked call, but with the mood she was in, she didn’t care who it might be.
“You’ve done it, haven’t you? Wasn’t enough what you’d already done, was it?” It was Richard but it had taken her a few moments to realize it, since his speech was slurred. She glanced at her watch. It was barely noon.
“Richard, are you drunk?” she asked, incredulous. He’d always enjoyed a drink or two, but she’d never known him to drink during a workday or get sloppy drunk.
“S’nothing. It’s not like I have anything important to do. Thanks to you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been pulled off the defense team. Morgan’s furious about the new charges that have been laid against him. He knows you were involved in making it happen, and he didn’t think it would be good to have me defending him ’cause of my relationship with you.”
Emma was stunned. She knew how much Richard’s career meant to him—it had cost them their relationship, after all. “Richard, I’m so sorry.”
“S’rry? You kidding? If you’d listened when I told you to leave things alone, just stay out of it? I’d still be leading the defense team. Now? I’m just a witness. The partnership is gone for me. Poof! Just like that! Gone, because of you,” he added bitterly.
He was definitely drunk. “Why are you calling me? What do you want?”
“Watch y’self, Emma. That’s all. It might not just be that damn dog that’s hurt next time.”
Emma froze. “Richard...what are you saying?”
“Nothin’. Just watch yourself.”
After Emma hung up the phone, she wondered how Richard had known about Max’s injury. Who had she told? She couldn’t remember. Could Richard or someone from Morgan’s defense team be watching her? Regardless, she heard the threat loud and clear and wondered if she should tell the sheriff.
She dismissed the thought. Despite how it had ended between them, she was certain that Richard wouldn’t physically hurt her or Max. The last thing she wanted to do was further antagonize Richard. That could only lead to more trouble for her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
JOSH HAD ALREADY ordered a beer and was sipping it slowly when Chad entered The Lookout, wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and their university’s bomber jacket. Josh rose and shook his friend’s hand as he walked up to the table.
“I have to say, I prefer seeing you in plain clothes, even if the haircut still shouts cop.”
Chuckling, Chad signaled to the waitress to bring him a beer, too. “Never got over your healthy respect of the law, huh?”
“Hard to believe we’re those guys who used to sneak beers out of our homes when we were fourteen and drink them behind the school.”
“Not to mention our attempt at forging IDs so we could get into a bar and check out the women when we were seventeen.”
“Yeah, fun times! We’re getting old, Chad, and what have we got to show for it?”
Chad’s face sobered and he took a long drink from his bottle. “That didn’t sound like idle banter.”
Josh glanced up in surprise. He hadn’t intended to let his melancholy show.
“Does it have something to do with our newest resident?”
As usual, Chad got right to the heart of the matter. Josh shouldn’t have been surprised. Other than his family, no one had known him longer or knew him better than Chad. He let out an exasperated sigh.
“I’ll take that as a yes. You want to talk about it?”
Josh considered how to best broach the subject. Directness was always his preference. “I’m in love with her.”
Chad’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned back in his chair. “Well, well, well,” he said, grinning. “That’s a first for you, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.”
Chad had another drink of beer, but kept his gaze leveled on Josh. “I don’t have to be an expert investigator to figure out you’re not happy about it. Hey, pal, we’re all destined to take the fall...sooner or later.”
Josh gave Chad a half smile. “You’ve managed to avoid it, at least since Janie Miller in university.”
Chad rubbed a fist over his heart. “Yeah, she broke my heart pretty good. But we’re not talking about me. Emma seems like a great lady, and she’s a looker, too. What’s wrong with being in love with her?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to be in love with her. It’s the complications.”
“I’m listening.”
It couldn’t hurt to get Chad’s perspective, Josh decided, so he gave his friend the gist of it. “So I’ve been trying to subtly help her rebuild her self-esteem. If that works, and she starts to believe in her professional capabilities again—and understanding she needs to work—will she just pick up where she left off with her career, and move back to New York City? And I lose her? Add to that, when I told her I loved her, I scared the heck out of her and it hasn’t been the same between us since.” He finished his beer. “Why can’t love be easy?”
“Nothing that’s worth having is. Let’s take it one problem at a time, shall we? First, she doesn’t look like the skittish sort to me. She’s handling the problems she’s experienced like a trooper.”
“Oh, she’s got backbone, I have no doubt about that. It’s only where her own abilities are involved that she’s fragile.”
Chad shrugged. “Okay, you’re working on that. I believe with time—and distance from her ex—her resilience will be restored. If you love her, as you say, investing time should not be a problem.”
Josh didn’t have to think about it. “Of course not.”
“Then let’s take her regaining her confidence and resuming her career in the city. That’s a tougher one. If she wants to continue where she left off, and you believe it’s the right thing for her, you need to support and encourage her. Otherwise, you’d be selfish and that’s not what love’s about.”
“And therein lies my dilemma. I don’t know if I’d survive in the city, let alone have a viable veterinary practice there,” Josh said with a scowl. “And when did you get so smart about love?” he added with a shake of his head.
“I understand it enough. You know, there’s an old saying—‘if you love something, set it free. If it returns, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.’”
Josh nodded again. “Yeah, that about sums it up, doesn’t it? I do love her, so I’ll have to back her...no matter what.”
* * *
EMMA FINALLY DECIDED to call Arlene. Much as she’d concluded when Daniel had first left a message for her wanting to talk, knowing—however hard it might be—was better than fearing the unknown. If Arlene didn’t want her to keep working for her, she’d rather be aware of it now, so she could deal with it.
The call only took fifteen minutes and now she knew where she stood with Arlene. Arlene had explained that the assignments had been a test of Emma’s capabilities, to make sure she was as good as Arlene had surmised.
According to Arlene, Emma had exceeded her expectations. What Arlene had been leading up to was deciding how best to get Emma to work for her exclusively. She obviously hadn’t known that Em
ma was no longer freelancing for Pinnacle.
Arlene asked to meet with Emma as soon as possible to discuss her proposal.
Putting her insecurities aside, Emma was thrilled. If Arlene sent more assignments her way, she’d have a bit of breathing space from a cash-flow perspective. And she was relieved that Arlene liked her work, when she’d begun to suspect it might just be the opposite.
Emma wanted to see Josh and tell him in person. He’d been so kind and understanding. She decided to surprise him at the clinic. Going into town would also give her the opportunity to stop by the post office to pick up her mail.
Emma hopped out of her X5 in front of the post office. The young man behind the counter turned toward the door at the sound of the chimes. His cheeks flushed a bright red.
Emma smiled as she greeted him.
“Good morning, Ms. Meadows.”
“Emma...” she insisted, as she had each time she’d come into the post office.
His flush intensified. “Ah, Emma... I’ll get your mail for you.”
“I’d appreciate it.”
He returned with a handful of envelopes of varying sizes—bills, personal correspondence, advertising flyers and a large manila envelope—and handed them to her. When her hand inadvertently touched his, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. As she walked out of the post office, she could hear his long-suffering sigh behind her, and couldn’t help but smile again.
Parking her vehicle in front of the veterinary clinic, she rushed in hoping she would catch Josh between appointments.
There were two people in the reception area, one with a beagle, the other with a Persian cat in a carrier. With Josh nowhere in sight and the examination room door closed, she knew he had to be with a patient.
“Hey, Emma,” Sherri greeted as she emerged from a back room.
“I need to see Josh for a minute.” Her gaze shifted to the people waiting. “Would it be possible,” she implored in a quiet voice, “before his next appointment?”
Sherri smiled at Emma reassuringly. “I don’t see why not. He’s a little ahead of schedule, as unusual as that is.” She gestured toward Josh’s office. “Wait in there, and I’ll send him in as soon as he finishes with Mr. Robertson’s Buddy. He shouldn’t be long.”