“How can there be a boundary for caring?”
“You are supposed to only interact, marry, and befriend wolves within your royal status, with the possibility of royal or noble mates upon your father’s discretion. But you aren’t even to speak directly to lower packs. It’s lowering yourself to our level.”
“And you believe that?”
“I choose to play their games.”
“Well, I choose to be your friend,” I replied. The indignation poured from my lips.
Baran tried to hide his smile. “Ashling, you should know and understand your place. You need to understand the ramifications of the things you defiantly choose to do. Even if Grey were truly a wolf and one of us—which he is not—you couldn’t love him. Killian is no longer of royal blood. You wouldn’t be permitted to even speak to him. And he would be stoned to death for even daring to look you in the eye. It’s best it ended now, before your father and the counsel learned of it. They would kill him for the offense.”
That my own family would kill Grey was more than I could bear. “What is wrong with these people?” I said. “You’re my friend and my only protection, and you aren’t supposed to be allowed to talk to me? Why would they send me with you if we aren’t even supposed to speak?”
“Your father asked me to protect you because I’m hard to track and even harder to kill.”
“Why?”
“I’m a dire wolf, Ashling,” he said. “The Killian pack was created to protect, so I’m nearly twice the size of your father and twice as strong.”
“Then why didn’t you protect your family?” I asked.
A sad smile crossed his face. “I was just a boy then, not nearly full grown.” He sighed. “I lost everything that day, my brothers, my parents, my pack, and my lands. When we lost our status, I even lost my betrothed.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“And so am I,” he said. “If it weren’t for your father, Brenna and I would be lost too.”
“I hate my father.”
“Don’t hate him. I don’t agree with the laws, Ashling, but you can’t change the whole world in a day.”
“Well, I don’t agree with any of it,” I said.
“Ash, you shouldn’t say such things,” Mund said, entering the room. “You endanger Baran’s life when you do.”
“But these laws are ludicrous,” I said.
“I agree. Baran is a trusted friend to me and Mother, and he can be your friend. But just remember where you are and whom you are with so you don’t endanger his life. I’m sorry you have to learn all these lessons now. Father decided you had to be hidden from everything in order to keep you safe until you were sold in marriage. I am sorry I failed you. I should have taught you more. There was never enough time.”
“Mund, I don’t want to be sheltered anymore. I want to know everything. I want to find my place among these ashes of life. I want to make a difference.”
“Good,” he said. He messed up my hair, then walked toward the door. “I always knew you would change our world—but you have to be smart, Ash. Learn Father’s rules, so you can break them. I’ll be glad to be by your side when you do it.” And with that, he was gone again.
The whole world was against me, but I would overcome this. I would make them all see they had been wrong. There wasn’t anything wrong with me. If I fell now, it was because I let myself fall. I wasn’t going to let Father and his stupid rules drown me. I knew what I wanted and I knew who I was, even if I had to fight the whole world. I felt empowered.
“Do you think you can get some more rest?” Baran asked.
“I can. Sweet dreams, Baran.”
“You too, my little ylva,” he said with a smile, and walked out the door.
My only remaining guest was in the shadows outside. The energy that flowed through my veins made me want to jump out my window, march right up to that shadow, and tell it to bloody shove off. Who did it think it was, standing out there, waiting every bloody night? Was it actually Adomnan, or some other wolf he sent to watch me? Adomnan had a twisted soul, but he was patient. But what was he waiting for? Was he waiting for me to make the first move? Maybe that was part of the trap. Well, he could just keep on waiting.
I could just surrender myself and let this all be over, but I wouldn’t do that. I would never surrender. I would never be Adomnan’s pet, I could never endure it. I had to flee before he attacked my family; I would have to run away to free everyone from me.
Did Grey actually think he could live without me forever? We were bonded to each other. There was no way to live apart now. We were meant to be, and there was nothing his father could do to change it . . . or my father, for that matter.
The sun was on the horizon, and my shadow was gone with the night. Figuring I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, I decided to get up and get ready for school. It was the last school day before the winter break . . . I could do one more day. I quickly got ready, straightening my hair, and grabbed my black leather jacket on my way downstairs. No one was up yet. I walked as quietly as I could to the kitchen, tossed a bagel into the toaster, and opened the fridge.
“Looking for something?” Mund asked.
I spun around to see him sitting at the table. Had he been there the whole time? He was already ready for school as he studied my appearance. I had to admit, it was very dark for something I would normally wear.
“So . . . you look different,” he said as he tossed a tub of cream cheese to me.
I turned away, busying myself with my bagel. “Yeah, I feel different today,” I said as I shoved my bagel into my mouth.
“How has it been going with Grey?” he asked.
“He won’t speak to me,” I said.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to rough him up a little?” he said with a smile.
“I can handle it myself, thank you,” I said. “I’m off to school.”
“Me too,” he said, standing up and following me to the door. “I’ll see you there.”
“Yep.”
I arrived at the school, and grounds were dead silent. I was forty-five minutes early for school, and not a single other car was in the parking lot. Mund didn’t follow me directly—he stayed to kiss his family goodbye. He seemed to trust me more now. I finally had a moment to myself where no one was hiding in the shadows, waiting to eat me alive. Just then, I heard the rumble of a motorcycle approaching and watched Grey pull up next to my car.
17
Eyes of the Night
I couldn’t believe he was still riding his motorcycle. It was so cold, but there he sat in all his masculine glory. His messy hair was even wilder. His brilliant green eyes were greener. His lips were more inviting. The longer we were apart, the stronger I felt the pull toward him. My desire was written plainly across my face.
He dropped the kickstand but stayed seated on his bike. His eyes probed into my soul, as though he had asked me to dance. I got out, walked over, and stood next to him; I couldn’t walk away. He was intoxicating to me. I needed him, but I couldn’t get any closer either. I would be in his arms again. Everything about him made my skin tingle. If only he could see what he really was.
“Grey?” I asked.
“I just had to see you,” he said.
The pain in his green eyes was clear. I knew he missed being mine. We hadn’t been alone together since our last kiss. Either Mund or the teachers had their eyes on us at all times. We had gotten in a lot of trouble for that stunt, but I didn’t mind. Our classmates began to fill the parking lot around us. No one seemed to notice the odd stillness between Grey and me.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I am now that I’m with you,” he said, half-smiling at me.
Mund’s scent drifted through the air. He wouldn’t be happy I was standing here with Grey. I heard him approaching, every step calculated and planned. He was casual in appearance, but the stiffness of his back and the tension in the air were heavy.
“What is this half-breed doin
g here?” Mund asked.
“Mund, don’t,” I said.
Grey and I were frozen in the center of a lie, unable to do anything but stare at one another. Mund seemed cold as steel to me, while I could feel the heat rolling off Grey’s skin. When I was away from him, I swore I was going to avoid him and let him live. Then when he was here, I could hardly keep my wits about me. His presence filled my mind, clouding out any rational thought and leaving the overwhelming desire to be near him.
Emma and Beth walked over, breaking my concentration. Emma was upset, but Beth looked as if she were going to burst with anger and smack Grey right in the face. I loved her spitfire attitude. None of us moved and no one said anything. It was eerie and unnatural, but everyone around us pulsed with energy.
Suddenly, the charge in the air was thick with the threat of danger . . . something bad was coming. Grey jumped off his motorcycle and pushed me toward Mund and the girls, putting himself in front of me. I was sandwiched between Grey and Mund. What could possibly make Grey turn his back to Mund? He had to sense the rage inside Mund and have some sense of self-preservation. What could possibly make him endanger himself? I searched the crowds of students and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. How did Grey sense what was coming before Mund or I did? I intertwined my fingers with Beth and Emma’s, giving them a quick squeeze of reassurance. I didn’t know what was coming, but I knew it wasn’t good.
The crowd parted, and out walked Adomnan, flanked by Eamon and Bento. My heart sank to the ground at the sight of them. They looked completely out of place here. Dressed in fine velvet jackets, dark jeans, and collared shirts. They looked decadent and dangerous at the same time. It was a beautiful juxtaposition, worthy of a painting by a master.
I could feel everyone watching now. Their curiosity and whispers broke into my own thoughts, muddying the waters of my mind. Adomnan’s smile was pure evil. There was no mistaking his happiness at our reaction.
Grey stood so close in front of me, I could feel his hair when the wind blew.
“This isn’t the place, Adomnan,” Mund said.
Adomnan just smiled.
“You need to leave.”
“What? No hello for an old friend?” Adomnan asked.
I wanted to vomit. Just looking at his face made my skin crawl. He scared the shit out of me.
Bento twitched with anxiety. He seemed uncomfortable with all the humans seeing them. He must not have trusted Adomnan’s ability to keep the situation from escalating. But it was Eamon who looked the most out of place; he watched me with curiosity. His attention wasn’t on all the humans around, his brothers, Grey, or even Mund. He studied my appearance, from my straight hair to my leather jacket.
“Beth, Emma . . . why don’t you guys go into school? We have to talk to our old friends for a moment,” Mund said. I let go of their hands, and they slowly and reluctantly walked toward the school.
“Playing with your food, Ashling?” Adomnan said. “A little beneath you, don’t you think? They are food, after all. And what does his little fleshy body think he can do to protect you from me?” He gestured toward Grey, appalled by his mere presence but not directly speaking to him.
We didn’t move, and I didn’t take his bait to start the fight. I didn’t know how strong Grey was or what he was capable of, but I didn’t want to find out either. I didn’t want him to get hurt. If he died, I would die. With our physical connection, his fighting could kill us both.
Adomnan continued to egg me on. “What would your father say about your new little friend? I could save your father the trouble and kill him right here, if you want. It would be more humane that way. Your father would instead use the old punishments and stone him to death over several days or use him as bait in the Bloodrealms. I could do it quickly for you, as a personal favor.”
I lunged forward at Adomnan, trying to break past Grey to rip him apart. I wanted his flesh in my hands and his blood on the ground. I wanted to exterminate him like the rabid dog he was. But Grey sensed my movements before I even made them and blocked my path, holding me to his side, though his eyes never left Adomnan’s. His concentration was superior to mine. Mund had leapt down and was between them and us, a light growl tearing up from his throat.
“I told you Adomnan. This isn’t the place,” Mund said so firmly it felt like a decree from the Elder Gods themselves. “Grey, please escort Ashling into school. I’d hate for her to be late for class.”
“Mund, no. I’m not leaving you,” I said.
“Disobedient,” Adomnan said, shaking his head. “I could train her for you, Redmund.” His voice was dripping with cruelty, and his mouth twisted into a sick smile.
He disgusted me—I would never be his. I would die before I would submit to him, of all creatures on earth. He had to know I would die fighting, but maybe that was his plan after all. I suddenly felt like throwing up. Mund was shaking with rage, there were so many of him that I couldn’t focus on his form. He was nearly going to shift. Panic rippled through me, and I didn’t know what to do.
“Aren’t you a charmer,” Grey said to Adomnan.
Grey turned me toward the school and nudged Mund on the way. The nudge was just enough to get Mund to move with us. Mund walked backward, never letting his eyes off Adomnan. My legs felt as though I were walking on gelatin, but Grey’s strength held me together. His arm was wrapped around my back as we walked into the school; his arm felt so right there. Protected in the cloak of his arms. The parking lot had emptied, and they were gone, but their scent remained. It was only a matter of time before they really did come for me. Today was only a warning.
“Thank you,” Mund said to Grey. “For a moment, I wasn’t sure I could control myself, and this wasn’t the place. So thank you. But do everyone a favor and stay out of it. You’ll only get yourself killed and hurt Ashling in the process. You aren’t one of us.” Before Grey could respond, Mund ushered me away, leaving Grey standing in the hallway. No matter the distance, no matter how many people were around, I was alone if I wasn’t with Grey. It would always feel that way. A love lost.
“They found us. They will come back,” Mund said, dragging me down the hallway. His face was stricken with worry and anguish. “I’m sure they have already followed our scents to the house. Tegan and Nia are there. With Tegan and Gwyn protecting Nia, that leaves Quinn to . . .” Mund said, not able to finish his sentence.
“Go to them. Make sure they are safe,” I said. He shook his head no, but the panic on his face was plain. I knew he was torn between love for his family and his duty to protect me. I placed my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. “Come back for me when they are safe.”
He nodded and was gone. My hand lingered in the air where he had just stood. I hoped Mund would make it home in time, before Adomnan dared to show his ugly face. And what if he smelled the baby? Mund told me how Adomnan had went on a murder spree, killing all the babies of his enemy’s packs. He had nearly as many babies on his death list as adults. It made me sick with worry. I felt so overwhelmed. I wanted to help my family, but I didn’t know how.
I realized Mund had left me in front of the nurse’s office just as the door opened and the portly little nurse jumped back startled.
“Ms. Boru, can I help you with something?” she asked.
Half-smiling, I replied, “Yes, ma’am.” I held my stomach for dramatic effect. “I think I don’t feel well.”
“Oh golly,” she said as she swooped me into the small office, her tone completely changed. “Go lie down on bed four. I’ll be right there with a bucket.”
She was waddling around the office in frenzy. I didn’t hear a thing she said to me. I just lay there on bed number four and watched nothing and felt everything. Maybe there was something Calista had written that I had missed. Or maybe I translated it wrong. There had to be an answer to this . . . a foretold moment that could help me. Or maybe that stupid old journal didn’t hold a lick of truth. Maybe it was le
ft to torment me. There was no way to know what or who to trust anymore. I needed a break from this madness. At least it was the last school day before break and the Winter Solstice.
“Her temperature is one-o-two!” the nurse said. She was on the phone. Great. She must be talking to Baran. Just what I needed right now. And my temperature was always 102 degrees. “Okay . . . okay. Great.”
She hung up the phone and stared at me with her big eyes. She must have thought I was about to burst into flames like a phoenix and turn to ash. I had always envied the phoenix, with her ability to start anew. Instead I was a wolf, feared by man.
“Ms. Boru, your uncle will be here to take you home.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll be back in a few minutes. You’ll be okay, won’t you, dear?” she asked. I nodded, and she waddled away, her paisley dress waving goodbye to me. It was clearly too much paisley for one person.
I was finally alone again, I sighed.
The door slammed open and Grey darted in. His scent filled the room with his delicious pheromones, swirling through my senses. “You have to come with me,” he said. What was he doing here—trying to torment me further, or trying to be my knight in shining armor? “Now.” The urgency in his voice sprang me from the bed, and I was at his side, breathing in his scent.
“What’s going on?”
“They’re in the school. I can smell them.”
“There’s nowhere I can hide—they can smell me too.”
“Not when you are touching me,” he replied. What on earth had come over him? First he turned his back on Mund, and then he stands between Adomnan and me when he was directly ordered to stay out of it? Now he was convinced his scent hid mine. He had to be stark raving mad.