“Didn’t you notice the strange look the calm one gave me when I held you?” he said.
“Eamon?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Not the chatty one. And not the twitchy one. The other one.”
“Eamon.”
“He was watching your every move, but when you tried to get past me and I grabbed you, he finally broke his concentration and was distracted by the scent in the air. At that moment, I noticed it too. They can’t smell you over me.”
“They’re here in the school?” I said as I finally caught their scent. It was barely there, but I could smell it now. They were getting closer.
“But you’re safe with me,” Grey replied, wrapping his fingers with mine. “As long as we are together, all you have to do is hold my hand.”
My skin pulsed from his touch and tingled all the way up my arm and spider-webbed across my chest. Consuming my whole body in his warmth. We sat down on the bed, still holding hands. He seemed calmer now, the deep furrow of his brow relaxed, and there was even a hint of a smile on his lips. Why was I always infatuated with his kissable lips? I had to get my mind back on my safety and the safety of my family—and get my mind off all the parts of Grey I wanted to kiss.
“Why can’t they smell me?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “And I don’t care why. I just need you to be safe.”
His hands were rough on my delicate skin, but it was utterly arousing. I was trapped in that moment. So many emotions poured through me. My emotional turmoil raged like a bull crashing into itself.
“I can’t live without you, Ashling. I tried.”
Did he actually just say the words I had been dying for him to say? I finally got my wish, yet it wasn’t enough to heal the hurt I had endured. I was still bloody angry at his betrayal. I thought all I needed was for him to come back to me, and yet here I sat, and it wasn’t enough. I was still angry.
My breath rasped in my throat. “I love you, but I just can’t forgive you so easily.” I looked down at his hands—they were shaking in mine. I was hurting him. The pain was clear all over his face. “I’m sorry, Grey. I’m not sure I can trust you.”
I stood up, letting his hand drop back to his side. I walked to the window and slipped outside, silently dropping two stories to the ground. The ground sponged with my weight, releasing the smell of the frozen earth. I started running for home. I heard the thump of something falling behind me. I turned back to see Grey leaping up from a crouch; he looked just like a wolf in his movements. He was by my side in the blink of an eye. I ran harder than I had ever run before, faster than I thought I was able. My cheeks grew wet with my tears, and I rubbed them away.
He matched my pace, running next to me, side by side. He reached over and linked his fingers with mine. The heavens opened up and the sky cried with me. As though Old Mother was weeping for my soul and washing away my pain. Old Mother always reclaimed what was hers.
I caught Mund’s scent across town, and we followed it north to my home. There was no sign or scent of Adomnan as we neared the house.
We leapt up onto the porch as Baran’s Land Rover screeched into the driveway. The smell of burned rubber filled the air. Mund appeared from inside, standing over us. The look of disapproval on his face was overwhelming. I would regret this memory if Grey hadn’t been in it. Before Mund could say anything, Baran appeared behind us, and his large shadow cast over all of us.
“Care to step inside?” Baran said through gritted teeth.
We all obeyed. I dropped my gaze to my feet, and there it stayed.
“Can anyone explain to me why I had to drive all the way to the school, only to catch your scent leaving the school, then to have your scent die out instantly in the middle of the street? I thought you were dead. Don’t you ever, ever do that to me again,” Baran said.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Sorry? Sorry!” he said. “Then why do you keep disobeying me? Do you want to die?”
“No, Baran it’s just that . . .”
He interrupted me, “Damn it, Ashling, how can anyone be expected to keep you safe when you are told to stay at school and then you leave?”
“Baran,” Grey stepped forward. “We had to flee, they were in the school.”
“Do you think you can protect her, Grey? You know, I like you, kid, and secretly I’m rooting for you. But it’s time to grow up here. This is life and death, not playtime at the park. Those are werewolves out there, and they will stop at nothing to get Ashling. You are nothing more to them than a moist, fleshy wall between them and what they want. How long did you think you could stand there before they tore you apart?”
“I don’t know. I’m not one of you, but she means as much to me as she does to you, maybe even more, and I am hollow without her. I’d gladly die for her,” he said, his voice unwavering and strong. It sent a shockwave through my body.
“You will likely get your wish,” Mund said, taking a step closer to Grey, their noses almost touching. “I told you to butt out. Did I not make myself clear?”
I was tired of all the testosterone and fighting. It was exhausting. Tegan walked into the room with the sleeping baby swaddled to her. It was like a little baby hammock made of pink silk. It complimented the ivory silk dress Tegan wore. Looking at her, you would never know she had ever given birth.
“Baran, Mund, if you boys are done having your macho contest, please join us in the kitchen. I’d like to have a word with you. In the other room, please.” She smiled lightly and walked back out of the room with Mund right behind her. Baran followed quietly, leaving Grey and me alone in the living room. Grey cleared the ten feet between us in one beat of my heart and knelt before me.
“Ashling, I know you aren’t ready to forgive me. I let you down, but I won’t give you up. I’m yours.” He bent his head toward the floor in a bow. “I’m yours.”
“Do you even know how much you hurt me?” I nearly choked just saying the words.
“Would you both care to join us?” Tegan said from the doorway. “We are having a family meeting, and that includes you both.”
Looking at Grey, I grabbed his hand, and he followed me to the kitchen. I looked around the kitchen at my family—Baran, Mund, Tegan, Quinn, Gwyn, Nia . . . and Grey. They were so much more than I ever realized. They were strong and fearless, and they all sacrificed things for me. I owed each of them the world.
Baran’s jeans were dirty with oil and grime. His black T-shirt stretched across his chest with every cautioned breath. The resemblance between him and Grey was unmistakable too. The same thin, muscular structure; dark hair; and badass beauty.
“Well, we knew this day would come, and it has. The Dvergars found our Ashling. It took them far longer than I had imagined, but now we need to decide how we are going to react to their presence, as a family,” Tegan said.
“Tegan’s right. I’m sorry for my making decisions without consulting all of you, as I should have,” Mund said. “If Ashling chooses Grey after all he’s done to destroy her, that is her choice, and I respect it. I am not Father, and so if you want Grey to be a part of this, it is your decision alone, Ashling, and your weight to bear.” Mund paced back and forth between us, the frustration clearly visible in his tense posture. “Grey,” he said, “I need you to understand something.”
Grey nodded.
“As much as I can clearly see you love Ash, you have to understand that without her, we are all lost. Whoever claims her at her eighteenth birthday will rule over us. This isn’t just about the two of you and your wayward love story. It’s about an entire lost civilization reclaiming our right to survive.” Mund placed his hand on Nia’s head, lightly caressing her curly hair, and she cooed in her sleep. “There is a lot at stake, and I need you to fully understand if you stay in this room now, you are not only bound to Ashling, you are bound to all of us, and all of our fates reside together, with her.”
Grey knelt down, once again, in front of my family, bowing his head to them. “I belong
to Ashling,” he said. There was no question that what he had spoken was true and from the heart, but no one moved for what seemed an eternity as they waited for Mund to decide. Finally he placed his hand on Grey’s shoulder.
“As you should.”
The air whooshed out of my lungs. I felt relieved that Mund accepted Grey, though I didn’t trust myself with him yet. He stood back up and stood by my side. I lightly grazed my fingertips across his face. He turned to face me with a crooked smile, and his green eyes glowed with love and pride.
“I think we should leave,” Mund said. “We could hide for a time with our allies, the Sylla in Africa, while we plan our next move.”
“Maybe we should call the banners of all the Boru packs and protect Ashling at the Rock,” Quinn said.
“We could hide with our father at Castle Raglan,” Tegan said, and Gwyn nodded. “The Kahedin pack would protect us.”
The smell of fear filled the room, suffocating me. I was furious. Adomnan was ruining everything. This wasn’t what I wanted to happen. “What about Grey?” I said.
“His place is here,” Quinn said.
Baran stood quietly watching my family bicker about where we were going next. His silence was eerie. I knew he had an opinion, but he chose not to share it. Every emotion rippled over my skin, but anger was the strongest.
“We leave at nightfall,” Mund said.
“No. We don’t,” I said. “We don’t run. We fight. There is nowhere I can go that they won’t find me. There is nowhere left to hide. Don’t you all see—this is where we make our stand.”
Baran smiled. “I was never one for running.”
“Ash, are you sure?” Mund asked.
I looked at my family, and the strength of their love was enough for me to believe. I finally belonged somewhere. I had a family, friends and home, and that was worth fighting for. Grey smiled at me, that wolfish grin I loved so much.
“We stay and we fight,” I said.
“Then I follow you,” Mund said.
“And I,” said Quinn.
Tegan lightly touched my face. “I can see you.” I knew what she meant. I was finally becoming the woman I was always meant to be. I was meant to lead.
My family began to wander away to other rooms to busy themselves with other things rather than talk, but Grey and I remained in the kitchen. I sat on the counter, studying every feature of Grey’s face. If I died in this fight, I wanted to be able to close my eyes and see his beautiful face with my last breath.
“Ashling, I love you. I want to be with you.”
“No.”
“I’m sorry I betrayed your trust.”
“I know. But I’m not ready.”
“You can’t push me away so easily,” he said with a mischievous grin.
I hopped down off the counter, and I ran upstairs to my room. He didn’t try to follow. I closed my bedroom door, shutting out everything and everyone.
The day had already broken to afternoon. Getting comfortable for the hours ahead, I slipped off my sweater and jeans, revealing my tank top and underwear. I sat down on my bed, and I pulled out Calista’s journal and all my translations to reread once again. I must have missed something.
After five hours of rearranging myself around my room reading, I knew three things for certain: I was in every way the wolf Calista had written of, the prophecy was mine to fulfill, and some wolf had to claim me. It was the last part that concerned me the most. I had no idea what wolf could possibly claim me, now that I had bonded with Grey . . . even though I hadn’t yet forgiven his betrayal. Could a member of my pack claim me? Did it have to be in marriage? A life in a cage would be far worse than death.
A light knock at my door, and Grey slowly stepped inside. “I thought you might be hungry,” he said, holding up a cheeseburger for my inspection.
“Thanks,” I smiled. “Come in.”
He shut the door and walked to my bedside table. Setting down the plate before turning back around to face me, I felt him suddenly alert to the fact that I was half-naked. I quickly wrapped myself in my blanket and sat back in the window seat.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of being away from you anymore,” he said, sitting on my bed facing me. “Plus, your brothers were starting to make me nervous.”
The distance between us seemed like nothing in my small bedroom. I could almost feel his ragged breath on my skin ten feet away. Our hearts sped up in synchronized beats. I hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten. I could make out the shape of his face, but no other details except his bright green eyes that glowed in the shadows, just as my shadow stalker’s eyes did.
I quickly searched the trees for him—the green eyes I’d grown so used to seeing, my dangerous comfort. But they were nowhere to be seen. The first night in weeks that they hadn’t been there. Slowly I turned back to Grey, and I jumped to my feet. My blanket fell to the ground, all modesty forsaken.
“Was it you?” I said, pointing out the window. “All this time, was it you outside my window?”
He crossed the room to me, holding my hands. His everlasting calm was more than I could take. I was confused and upset.
“You can’t just hang out outside a girl’s window. It’s weird.”
“I never left you,” he replied.
“What? Why?” I said.
“At first I was just curious about you . . . and then I couldn’t stand the idea of being away from you. I feared I’d lose you. I feared one night you’d just disappear. I sat outside your window every night, protecting you. It wasn’t until the night you woke up screaming that I knew it was coming; I smelled them on the wind. I wanted to burst through your window to comfort you, but Baran was already there. So I fell back to my position as an outsider in your life.”
He never left. I couldn’t fully comprehend the depth of that statement. Even when I thought he had turned his back on our love, he had still stood watch, protecting me from harm. I wanted to scream. All this time I wasn’t sure if I was good enough for love, and it had been here all along.
Mund and Quinn burst into my room and stopped dead in their tracks, staring at our embrace, but Mund took two more steps into the room.
“I let you stay in this house. I am letting her choose you. But don’t be mistaken, she’s still my baby sister, and I will not hesitate to take your last breath,” Mund said. I suddenly realized my panties and tank top were hardly the apparel I wanted my brothers to catch me in while I was wrapped in Grey’s arms. I scooped up my blanket and covered myself. Quinn’s face was stretched so tightly trying not to laugh.
“Understood,” Grey said.
“Ash, get him some blankets from the hall closet. He can sleep up here, but on the floor,” Mund said as he and Quinn walked back out.
Quinn laughed from the bottom of the stairs. “And the door stays open!” he shouted.
18
Encounter
“I think your brothers really enjoyed that,” Grey said.
I smiled and crawled into my bed, pulling the blankets up to my waist. “Will you lay by me until I fall asleep?” I asked, daring to look him in the eye. “Sometimes I have bad dreams, and it might be nice to have you here with me, instead of outside my window.”
He winked and disappeared down the stairs. I lay there staring at the ceiling, at nothing, with a knotting feeling in my stomach as my nervousness filled my mind. Moments later, Grey walked back into my room wearing black fleece pants and no shirt. His muscular chest was exposed for my viewing pleasure . . . and it was a pleasure. A shiver coursed through my spine and my pulse raced. He lay down on top of the covers next to me, creating a barrier between our skin, but I could still feel his warmth.
I rolled over, wrapping my arm over his chest, claiming him as my own, and I rested my head on his shoulder. I breathed in his enticing scent, excitement filling every fiber of my body. He lightly brushed my hair out of my face. The gentle caress was sensuous.
His left wrist was tattooed with the blade emblem, his bra
nd. Bloodsucker. An icy chill settled on my heart. It was just another reminder of the dangerous game we played. I held his other arm and carefully unlaced the leather band, revealing his other tattoo. His right wrist carried the same mark as Baran, the mark of the Killian. But it was black; it wasn’t burned in the blood of his fathers. Instead, I was certain, he had been marked by his mother. It was her legacy and the only map she dared leave him.
“Why do you keep this one covered?” I said.
“I don’t know what it is. My dad said my mom tattooed it on me when I was two, right before she died. I don’t know what it means, and he couldn’t tell me either. He said if I didn’t know what it was, I shouldn’t go around showing it off. So I keep it covered.”
But I knew what it was, and I would bet his father wanted it covered because he knew too. I fought with the idea of telling him and decided in the end that truth always prevails.
“It’s the mark of the Killian, your mother’s pack.”
He looked puzzled as he studied his wrist. “How would you know that?”
“It’s the same mark as on Baran’s wrist.” I put my hand on the side of his face. “Grey, it’s time you knew the truth. Baran is your uncle, your mother’s twin brother.”
He pulled away from me as he sat up. He studied the two very different marks. One on each underside of his wrist, each claiming its right to him.
“You are of Killian blood, Grey. You are a member of Baran’s pack.”
“How can that be?”
“I guess your father fell in love with your mother without knowing what she was, and they had you. They each branded one arm with their lineage.”
I watched his face as the emotions raged over him. Everything he had ever known was a lie—it had to crush him. He lightly ran his fingers over his Killian Bloodmark before he lay down again, confusion clearly on his handsome face.
“I miss her,” he said.
“She left you the only way she knew would lead you home.”
He sighed. “So that’s why your brother called me a half-breed.”
“Mund can be a jerk sometimes,” I smiled.