“I thought…I convinced myself that I was keeping it under control when I only got high after Alicia went to bed. But then the crave started hitting me during the day and I’d take Alicia to a neighbor’s house for a couple hours while James and I got high. Then it was; put her in her bed or play pen and go get high. And then after a while it was; ‘she’s two. She doesn’t know what she’s seeing.’” Her voice broke and she swallowed back tears.

  “James came over with some crack cocaine one day. I’d just made Alicia lunch and she was in her high chair watching her favorite cartoon show on TV Well…” She gulped. Tears dropping like fat rain drops. “James and I started smoking, sitting on the couch, watching cartoons with Alicia.” She still remembered the song playing in the background and Alicia’s tiny voice singing along ‘…if all the raindrops where lemon drops and gum drops oh what a rain it would be; standing outside with my mouth opened wide…’ “I remember coming fully awake. Alicia wasn’t in the highchair. James was still there nodding. Every time before, she’d be in front of the TV, even if she did manage to climb out of the highchair.” Nicole sniffed down more of the tears and continued in a hoarse voice, drops dripping from her chin and splashing her shirt.

  “This time, though, Alicia was lying on the floor with…with crack rocks falling out of her mouth. I screamed, picked her up and ran to one of my neighbors. You see, I was so fucked up I didn’t even think to call 911. My baby hung on for two days…” Nicole defiantly swiped her wet face while Marty refused to look at her.

  “My charge somehow was reduced to child endangerment and I got two years probation. I never asked for it, didn’t care at that point and to this day can’t remember how and why it happened. James got 18 months in prison for brining the drugs into the house. When the Judge looked at me, I saw in her eyes such contempt. She told me that what made my case so bad was that I did have an education…that this was a choice I had made. I don’t remember any of the events around that time but what that judge said to me will forever be seared in my brain. That was the very second I died. And the person that walked out of that courtroom was not the same person that walked in. No handcuffs, no jail sentence…but I was better off dead. The judge hadn’t lied. That had been my choice.”

  Marty looked at her then. Tears dropped from his eyes, too. “Nicole, I am so sorry, baby…” She looked down at her hands.

  “Although they didn’t set a punishment for me, I set my own…it was more a goal. I must finish my schooling, have a career and have a home. Until I’ve done that my life is not my own. Then I’m going to write that Judge and tell her that Alicia didn’t die in vain.

  “That’s why I don’t have a car and I live in a shabby little apartment and school is my life. That’s why…”

  “Why you can’t accept help?” Marty said solemnly.

  “I don’t quite know who I am. The person here now is no one I ever knew before. I’m not the girl who lived in the projects or Alicia’s mother. I’m kind of…nothing; just a person trying to facilitate an ends to a means.”

  Marty stood slowly. “I had no idea.” He pulled her into his arms. Nicole was amazed that he could stand to touch her after what she’d just told him. Gratefully, she allowed it. The door to Alicia was cracked open finally.

  “Nicole. I want you to hear me.” He was holding her tight. “I’m not going to ask you to lean on me. I’m going to ask you to let me lean on you.” A small sob escaped her. “At first I thought it was me that was helping you, but now I know that it’s just the opposite. I need you. I need you.”

  Nicole raised her arms and wrapped them around Marty’s neck.

  “You feel this way even after the horrible story I told you?” She asked, face hidden in his neck.

  He pulled back and looked deeply into her worried eyes. “I want to be with you. That’s all I care about.” This time when he kissed her it was gentle and reassuring. She became liquid in his arms.

  “Nicole,” he croaked, pulling back from her.

  “Yes, Baby?” She responded, eyes hooded.

  “You’re fired.”

  “What?” Her arms dropped away from him and she stepped back confused. “Are you joking?”

  Marty’s eyes were apologetic. “I’m sorry, Nicole. I can’t have a personal relationship with one of my employees-”

  Nicole’s mouth dropped in disbelief. “You’re serious?”

  “If I worked that closely with my girlfriend, then it would be chaos-”

  “You’re going to fire me?! You could just work days-”

  “But then I’d never see you-”

  “Well FUCK that!”

  “I know of another job-”

  “Oh my god…” She turned away from him and began to pace. “Oh my god, you are such an asshole. After what I told you and how important it is for me to work-”

  He tried to touch her but she side stepped him. “Baby girl, hear me out. I know-”

  “Will you reconsider what you just said?” She asked simply. He was already shaking his head.

  “I can’t do that, Baby. No, but-”

  He heard her chuckle. “Well what if I don’t want to be your girlfriend?” His face paled. “But I do.” She said softly. His breath came out in a rush of relief and in one quick motion she pulled off her shirt, than unhooked her bra. Marty’s eyes moved from her eyes to her breast where they lingered--then back to her eyes. What was she doing?

  Nicole placed her hands on his chest where she lightly pushed him back until he fell back into a sitting position onto his bed. He didn’t know what to do. One minute she was spitting fire, and the next she seemed to be controlled by desire. She knelt down on her knees, positioning her body between his knees. She ran her hands up his thighs and his muscles tensed slightly.

  “Take that off.” She commanded while tugging at his shirt. He quickly swept it off. Her fingers slid to his crotch and Marty’s exhale was audible. She slowly unzipped him, slipping her hand boldly into his shorts where she pulled out his rapidly hardening cock.

  Marty gasped in surprise. Nicole eyed what she held in her hands hungrily. Then her eyes met his and Marty leaned back on his elbows and decided to just watch.

  Gently, Nicole stroked the shaft, her eyes never leaving his. She leaned forward and her tongue snaked out and flicked the head of his cock.

  “Oh God…” He groaned.

  Nicole’s tongue traced a circle around and around the sensitive head.

  “Fuck!” Marty gripped the sheets blinking rapidly.

  She placed her lips around him before sliding her mouth down his shaft until he had pushed down her throat.

  “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Marty threw his head back in ecstasy.

  Nicole reached down with her left hand and lifted her breast. She removed her mouth from Marty’s cock long enough to snake out her long tongue and flick it around and around her taut brown nipple. She looked at Marty wide-eyed.

  His mouth parted slightly. “Shit…” He whispered.

  “Marty?” She purred in a deep sexy voice. “Can I have my job back?”

  He was nodding before she finished the sentence.

  She slipped his cock into her mouth as deeply as she could.

  “Fuck!” He yelled.

  Delicately she removed it from her mouth, “Baby? Can I have a raise?”

  “YES!”

  She wrapped her lips around him once again. Marty suddenly tensed, the orgasm hitting him by surprise. Nicole gripped his cock and watched him spurt clear into the air, a small grunt broadcasting each spurt of semen. It was like cannon fire! She let the mess gather on his tummy and she used her forefinger to trace along the warm creamy fluid while his muscles twitched involuntarily at her touch.

  He lay back on his the bed in exhaustion and Nicole took his discarded shirt and wiped him clean. She then joined him, on her belly, kissing his lips and chin and nose.

  Marty reached up his hands holding the back of her head while he kissed her deeply, taking her b
reath away. Effortlessly he changed positions with her leaving him on top. Again, he kissed her lips, her chin, her neck. His tongue snaked out, equally as long as hers and he trailed it down her breast and over her nipple.

  Nicole squirmed at bit, her pussy throbbing and pounding mercilessly.

  Marty pushed both breast together and then alternately licked and teased one nipple then the other. He watched her reaction intently.

  “Oh…damn.” She groaned, her eyes hooding slightly. He released one breast fingering the nipple while he sucked the other. Gasping, Nicole rotated her pelvis against his thigh.

  Marty suddenly lowered his attention, kneeling between her legs he hooked his thumb into her jeans and pulled them off.

  Marty couldn’t take his eyes from the mound of dark curls. With two fingers he gently stroked her slit, finding that she was wet and steaming hot. He looked up at her while he continued stroking with his fingers. Nicole’s eyes were two sexy slits. She gyrated her hips in time to his manipulations. He spread her lips and pressed his mouth onto her hot pussy.

  “Ohhh!” She gasped, hips jerking involuntarily. Marty’s tongue rapidly jack hammered against her sensitive clit. This he alternated between long slurpy licks, continuously gauging her reaction, barely taking his eyes from hers. Nicole threw her head from side to side.

  “Oh…shit!” She groaned.

  “Is that the spot, Baby?” He mumbled between mouthfuls of pussy.

  “Oh yes, Baby…” She cried deliriously. “You do that so goddamn good!”

  His tongue slipped into her as far as he could reach, pushing until the thickness was fucking her. Nicole’s legs spread further and she gripped his head holding it in place.

  Deep inside of her he began the jack hammering.

  “Oh…FUCK!” She yelled. Marty moaned and continued to beat into her pussy, her hips pumping into his face. “FUCK…” She yelled. Quickly he pulled his tongue out of her and hammered her clit, all-the-while never removing his eyes from her face.

  “Do you want my cock now?”

  Nicole gripped his bicep. “Yes, oh YES!”

  Marty positioned himself above her, cock heavy and bobbing. Nicole squirmed anxiously.

  He stroked himself a few times watching her watch his cock. His lip curled into a brief smile of pleasure.

  “Baby Girl?”

  “Uhm…what, Baby?” She moaned watching the motion of his hand. Marty bit his lip as he increased the speed of his stroke.

  “When you come back to work…” He sucked in his breath involuntarily at the sharp build up of pressure. He placed the head of his cock against her nether lips. Teasing he slipped it slowly into her tight opening.

  “Oh! God…” She thrust upward.

  “Will you give me two weeks notice?”

  “Oh fuck…Baby.” She thrust upwards again.

  Marty withdrew a bit. “Two weeks notice, Baby?” He plunged his cock into her completely and she sucked her voice audibly. He pulled back out almost completely and waited for her response. Nicole stared between them at his oversized cock poised for another re-entry.

  “Yes, Baby!”

  “Say it.” He plunged his cock into her once more but instead of withdrawing rubbed his pelvis against her enticingly.

  “Oh shit! Okay! I’ll give you two weeks notice! Now stop teasing and make me cum! PLEEEEASE!”

  Marty planted his arms on either side of her and pumped his cock in and out of her rapidly.

  Nicole’s insides tensed and before she knew it a volcano erupted. She threw her head back against the bed while the orgasm overtook her. Her mouth opened and she called out Marty’s name in a wild voice. Over and over she moaned as he worked his cock in and out of her until she was nothing more than a bundle of nerves. She froze and shuddered with an aftershock.

  “Shit.” She moaned softly. She wrapped her arms around Marty as he withdrew his still erect cock from her and lay on top of her body carefully.

  “You fired me again.” She said half accusingly, half amused that he had flipped the script on her.

  “You’re quitting.” He mumbled into her neck, sleepily. “Or else we’re going to end up fucking in the shed, in the office, in the walk-in…on the counter. I know this, especially after what you just did to me.” He rolled off of her gently and pulled her into a spoon position, cupping her breast. “Gee, I wish I knew where I could find a good personal accountant. Say, you took accounting in Job Corps. Maybe you know of someone that you could recommend to keep my books?”

  She turned and looked at him in surprise. So that’s what he meant; another job, one where they wouldn’t have to work together. She smiled. “Yes, but she’d need a raise.”

  Marty chuckled. “Oh, I got a raise for you…”

  TWO YEARS LATER

  Nicole pulled into the drive-way of an old but beautiful Victorian house. Just like she always did, Nicole paused before getting out of her car to admire the beauty of the old trees and the wrap-around porch. She loved everything about her house; every leaky pike, every drafty window just as much as she loved the nine foot high ceilings, hardwood floors and oversized kitchen.

  She grabbed her briefcase and locked the door to the CAMRY still getting a kick out of the little twirp, twirp sound the security system made when engaged. She’d had the car a year but still got a kick out of little things like that.

  She hurried to the house, careful not to allow her pumps to sink into the mud. The landscapers were far from finished with the yard. She just hoped they would be finished before the snow fell. She wanted her first Christmas in her first home to be picture perfect. Absently she brushed a bit of lint from her Dolce and Gabbana suit, and then unlocked the front door.

  Santana was playing from the stereo and the smell of something delicious was in the air.

  Nicole placed her briefcase on the side table.

  I’m home.” She called. “Where are my boys?”

  Marty came out of the kitchen with the baby carrier strapped to his front.

  “Hi, Baby.” He kissed her. “How was work?”

  “Ahh…” She said exasperated. “I’m going to be working on that project this weekend.” She gently pulled her snoozing son out of the carrier. He was a plump four month old with a head just as bald as his Dad’s shaved one, hazel eyes also like his Dad’s, and the caramel skin of his mother. “I don’t want this project interfering with our plans to spend the week with your parent’s.”

  “I know. They’ve only seen M.J. twice.” Marty unstrapped the carrier and tossed it on the couch. “You hungry, Baby? I made a veal scaloppini.”

  “Yum. “I’m starving.” He pulled her into his arms, their son cradled carefully between them. He kissed her more intimately.

  M.J. reached up and grabbed his Dad’s chin cooing playfully. He took him out of Nicole’s arms.

  “Okay, Junior. Come to Daddy. Let’s allow Mommy to get changed for dinner.”

  “I’ll be right back.” She hurried up stairs to change. Marty put M.J. in his playpen. M.J. gave his Dad a speculative look and then found his feet to be of interest and began to place his toes into his mouth. Marty leaned over the play pen and stared at his gurgling boy.

  “Wow, son. That’s really something. Good job.” He was in constant amazement at this little boy that he and his wife’s lovemaking had created. He was beautiful.

  Marty shook his head chuckling and then he went into the den and put the finishing touches on the letter he had been writing.

  …..five years ago my wife lost her daughter, and that in itself caused her to shed her former self. No longer is she the drug addicted single mother living on welfare in the projects. She has cut herself free of the net that most of us never recognize is just a trap designed to hold one down. I’m proud to say that my wife flipped it and made the system work for her; allowing her to complete her degree in computer programming. She is now the managing director of an up and coming Internet Web design company.

  When my wife’s m
ission ended, she put her past behind her. But I’m here to complete her final task; which was to let the Judge that heard her case know that Alicia did not die in vain. My wife has a successful career, a number of degrees, a beautiful Victorian house, and…more importantly, a husband and baby son that adore her…