I stared up at her as the realization dawned: Ana is as frustrated with Takeshi’s protection of her as I am. Possibly more.
Day 11673
I am definitely being insubordinate, but things have gone too far to turn back. Ana is gathering her gear, and I am taking her on patrol. After our training session, I was afraid she would go by herself, and I decided this would be better. Takeshi is not due back to the Station until tomorrow, so we plan to be back well before then. She needs to get out, and he needs to stop preventing her from doing what she’s been assigned to do—to be a Guard of this city. I am prepared to deal with the consequences.
Day 11674
Ana’s first patrol went better than expected—and much worse. I took her north, to the area south of downtown where I was ambushed about a hundred fifty days ago. She is swift and quiet and does not complain, which in my opinion makes her an excellent patrolling partner. She kept up with me easily and seemed eager to prove herself.
I never planned to encounter a Mazikin. My goal had been to stay in the shadows and spy, not to fight. But I turned a corner and there they were, loping up the street toward us, a male and a female on all fours like a pair of wolves. I shoved Ana into an alley and told her to stay hidden, thinking of how Takeshi might react if one of the creatures hurt her. But as I fought the male, who had taken a muscular body several inches taller than I am, the female leaped onto my back and bit my shoulder—and Ana came out with her knives flying.
The female Mazikin fell with three blades embedded deep in her spine. She never saw the threat. But she must have been important to the male I was fighting, because he broke loose from me and jumped on Ana before she could draw another knife.
He slammed her head into the concrete before I could stop him.
I subdued him soon after, and was able to call out to a passing Guard patrol. They are taking him to the tower now. He will never return to his homeland.
I carried Ana back to the station. She was barely breathing. Her hair was soaked with blood. I called for Raphael. He is healing her now. I need him to work on me as well, because the venom from the Mazikin bite is spreading and my fingers are starting to grow numb. But I hope—
I will write more tomorrow. Rais just came to my quarters to tell me that Takeshi has returned from his long patrol.
Day 11675
I had hoped that Takeshi would not return to the station until after Ana was fully healed. Sometimes my hopes are very foolish.
He came into my quarters, still in his armor. “Rais told me that Ana is with Raphael,” he said. His voice was deceptively even.
I nodded, rising to my feet, which was not easy because my toes were tingling with numbness from the venom. “He said she will recover.”
Takeshi tilted his head. “Did you hurt her?”
"No. It was a Mazikin."
His eyebrow arched.
"I took her on a patrol," I admitted.
His baton was drawn and extended in a fraction of a moment. I raised my arm to protect my face, but he merely reversed direction and cracked it across my ribs, doubling me over. “This is insubordination,” he said calmly.
Then he struck me across the back with the staff, sending me to my knees. “You are doing her a disservice,” I said to him between pained breaths.
He kicked me in the side and then slammed his staff into the side of my face. The venom made me too clumsy to protect myself, so I toppled over, my mouth filled with blood. I spat it on the floor and added, “She could be an excellent Guard if you stopped holding her back.”
He was pale with rage as he struck again, a straight downward strike, and I managed to catch the weapon and hold on. “You care about her too much,” I shouted when he released the staff and drew a knife. I should have shut up, but this had gone on too long.
"Remember what you said about her!" I yelled as he advanced on me. "You said she would be unstoppable. You were so determined to train her when I was ready to give her up as a lost cause. And now she is ready, and she is strong, and she is desperate to fight, and you are too lost in your affection for her to allow her to be what she was made to be!"
Takeshi dropped to his knees and had the blade against my throat a moment later. It bit into my skin and forced me into silence. “You know nothing,” he said quietly, but I could read the shine in his eyes—I knew everything.
He dropped the knife and rose quickly to his feet. A moment later he left my quarters, slamming the door behind him.
Day 11682
I had planned to train this morning, but when I got to the basement, Takeshi and Ana were already on the mat, facing off with knives and scimitar and staff. Sparring. But… not really. From what I observed, her attempts to kill him were quite sincere. He is too fast, though, always too fast, and her frustration echoed down the hallway.
I stood there for a while, watching them. Takeshi’s usual, taunting smile was absent. And so was his complete willingness to cause hurt for the sake of the lesson. Apart from protecting his soft spots and vital organs, he seemed very willing to allow Ana to pound on him. He was bleeding from his nose and a cut above his eye.
It is as much an admission of his mistake as I have yet seen. He has not spoken to me since he walked out of my quarters, leaving me bleeding and broken for Raphael to fix. But—nor has he attacked me again. I wonder if he is aware of the truth of his feelings for Ana. I also wonder if it is too big to face. As for Ana, I truly do not know if she is capable of returning his feelings, whatever they are.
I feel sorry for both of them.
Eventually, I returned to my quarters, because I had the oddest feeling, as if I was intruding on something very private and painful. I think it is time for me to set out on a long patrol. Maybe, by the time I return, Takeshi and Ana will have forged enough common ground to allow us to function as a unit.
Day 11712
I am on the roof of an apartment building in the northern section of the Harag zone. I have patrolled here for days and found little but drag marks in the sludge at the side of the road, a blood stain in an alley, and an abandoned warehouse that contained what I am certain was a Mazikin altar.
This evening, when I searched for my dinner in the pantry of the apartment I am using, I discovered something both wonderful and terrible: a plate of stuffed cabbage leaves. It was sitting right there among the cans of tinned meat and boxes of stale biscuits. I could not stop the flood of memories, of my mother working so hard to make this dish, my father’s favorite. Of her snarled comments, how she could make it better than his mother. My father kissed her cheek and assured her that it was much better—and then he took me and Heshel aside to swear us to secrecy, as our grandmother would die if she knew he’d said such a thing.
Grandmother’s stuffed cabbage was actually a great deal tastier, but my mother was such a fierce woman that I believe my father was a wise man for not telling her that. I also believe he loved her more than reason, and would have eaten her over-salty stuffed cabbage leaves every single day if it made her happy.
I have not cried in a very long time, and a plate of nearly rotten stuffed cabbage leaves has done it. I am laughing at those memories while wiping the tears from my face.
But I cannot bring myself to eat the dish. Something about it has stolen my appetite completely.
Day 11716
This morning, I was sneaking through an alley when a rotten banana peel hit me in the side of the head. I drew a knife, and that was when he dropped from a second story window.
"You've been here for over a month," Takeshi said.
I plucked the peel off of my shoulder. "Clearly, you've missed me."
"I didn't order you to come here," he replied.
No, I came because I couldn't stand being at the station. "How's Ana?"
He looked down at his hands. "You should come back. She might talk to you."
I could tell by looking at him that the last month had not been easy, and I wondered if he couldn't stand being at the stat
ion right now, either. "I think the nest is somewhere in this zone."
Takeshi nodded, his eyes growing bright. "I'll help you look. Perhaps we can find it together."
We patrolled over the next several hours, and now we are holed up in an apartment until morning. He still hasn't told me what's happened with Ana, and I haven't asked. It's nice, for the moment, that it's only the two of us, and we are focused entirely on finding the Mazikin. It's amazing how distracted Takeshi has been by the presence of one pretty girl, and it is good to see him now, with his mind back on the things that matter.
Day 11721
We haven’t found the nest, but I must say, the last five days have been rather good. Takeshi is more like himself, or at least how he was before Ana appeared in our midst. And today we had a laugh, something neither of us has done much of late.
Sil, a Mazikin who bears Takeshi intense animosity, adopted a new strategy, but it did not work out so well. Takeshi and I had discovered another altar in the basement of an apartment building, a bare metal bedframe with ropes tied to each corner post. The place was a bit small for a nest, and now we’re wondering if the creatures are possessing a few at a time before moving on. It might explain why we haven’t found them yet.
As we emerged from the stairwell, we came face to face with a man dragging a woman toward us. He looked like one of Takeshi’s countrymen, with thick black hair pulled back from his face, and he was massive, nearly as tall as I am and easily twice as wide, with broad, beefy shoulders and legs like columns of concrete. When he saw us, he dropped the woman and adopted a wide-leg stance, his arms out to his side, like a wrestler.
Takeshi started to laugh. “This is a new look for you, Sil.”
The Mazikin scowled at Takeshi’s instant recognition, but did not bother denying his identity. “I will crush you.”
Takeshi was nearly doubled over with the silliness of it. “You can try.”
Sil charged. Takeshi sidestepped him and brought his staff down across the Mazikin’s back. When the creature dropped to all fours and lunged for him again, Takeshi leaped in the air and ran over his back, landing on his other side.
While I escorted the limp, passive woman to a nearby empty apartment and instructed her to stay inside, Takeshi taunted the enormous Mazikin in Japanese while he thwacked him with his staff. Laughing the entire time, my Captain raced up and down the hallways of the building with the bull-like man charging after him on all fours. The sight was so comical that I started laughing, too. Sil had perhaps thought that a larger body would help him defeat us, but though Takeshi is fairly slight of build and stature, he is quick as a viper and devilishly clever.
Sil did not stand a chance. Finally, just after Takeshi ran by, I stuck out my staff and tripped the Mazikin up when he tried to follow. “Are you finished with him?”
Sil was sprawled on his stomach, panting for breath. Takeshi stared down at him, still smiling. “I suppose, but I truly don’t know if the two of us have the strength to drag this giant all the way to the dark tower.”
I remembered an imprisoned Mazikin telling me that I could liberate the soul of a human if I killed the possessed body. “That’s fine. We can end him here.”
Takeshi sighed. “It’s a shame. This could have been his fatal error.”
I couldn’t regret it. I was imagining the soul of the poor man he’d possessed, flying free of the Mazikin realm.
Takeshi pulled his knife and leaned down. “It was a good try, to possess a sumo wrestler. And I suppose I will see you again.”
"Count on it," snarled the Mazikin. "And next time, maybe I will take your body."
Takeshi’s grin was cold. “That will never happen.”
He drew his knife across his enemy’s throat, and we watched the creature bleed to death.
Day 11722
Takeshi and I arrived back at the station in the middle of the darkest hour of night. To my surprise, Ana was crouching in a corner in the front entryway, looking defiant and mutinous.
"She’s been sitting there for the last five days," Amid told us quietly as we walked in. He looked wary.
Takeshi scowled. “Has something happened? She seemed fine when I left.”
I looked back and forth between Takeshi and Ana, whose eyes were riveted on him, full of fury and resentment. “Yes, something happened,” I said to him. “You left.”
Takeshi’s brows shot up and he turned to look at Ana. Her eyes narrowed. Without a word, she got to her feet. All the Guards in the room, myself included, tensed in readiness for an attack. But she simply shot a lethal kind of look at our Captain and walked from the room.
Takeshi watched her go, still looking puzzled. I bid him a good night and returned to my quarters. I think I may avoid the training room tomorrow. If Takeshi does not allow Ana to patrol and take up her place as a Guard soon, I think she might find a way to kill him.
Day 11774
"I have an idea," I said to Takeshi as we pulled knives out of cloth dummies, preparing for another round of target practice. "It’s about Ana. She could help us find the nest. We’ve been searching for a long time and getting nowhere, and she could be the key." I said it quietly so only he could hear.
He flipped a knife in his palm and glanced at the other side of the room, where Ana was doing drills with her staff. “I’m not putting her on the street. I’ve told you that.”
It was hard not to shout at him. He has been so blind, so bullheaded about Ana, who is more angry and tense every day—and she did not exactly start out relaxed. “She wouldn’t be alone,” I assured him. “I know you don’t want the Mazikin to know her. To target her the way they target us. But we can prevent that.”
He raised his eyebrow but said nothing, so I continued. “The Mazikin recognize us on sight. All but a few scatter when we patrol. They know how to avoid us. But if she could act as a decoy, a potential victim—”
His jaw clenched, and I spoke very quickly. “We would be right there, but out of sight until the right moment. We could capture and interrogate any who see her, and then take them to the tower.”
He knew this was a significant concession, since killing the possessed bodies frees imprisoned human souls from the Mazikin land, while imprisoning the possessed in the tower leaves them trapped forever—a belief Takeshi does not share. “You would be willing to commit to imprisoning every single one?” he asked.
"If it means that Ana can act as bait—" I rephrased when Takeshi frowned. "If she could draw the Mazikin in and allow us to trap them, that would be a victory. I would do it."
Takeshi looked over at Ana again. I wonder if he is aware of how his face changes when his eyes are on her, how the hard edges soften. Probably not. “I’m willing to consider it.”
Ana continued to swing her staff, solid and strong. And when Takeshi turned away, I did not, so I saw her face break into a grim smile.
Day 11862
Ana is walking and breathing, but she won’t be for long. Our operation was successful, but she was wounded. We’re leaving in a few minutes to try to get her back to the Station before the claw wounds take their toll, and on the way we’ll have to drag the two Mazikin who saw her face. They must be imprisoned in the tower so they can’t spread word of the new Guard.
I’ll write more once we get back to the Station, assuming I am still alive. This whole thing was my idea, and if Ana dies, Takeshi will most likely kill me.
Day 11864
Ana is still alive, and obviously so am I. It was a tense journey back to the Station. We had to tie the Mazikin to a sled we built out of an apartment door, as I’ve done in the past. I dragged it while Takeshi took Ana ahead. Once I deposited the two Mazikin in the mouth of the dark tower, I walked into it myself—and found Takeshi waiting on the other side. He was pale and unable to focus until Ana stumbled out and fell into our arms.
She did so well. A week ago, we returned to the Harag zone to determine the location of this nest at long last. Nearly a hundred days of drilling, o
f reviewing every possible scenario, of training for every situation. Finally. Finally. It felt like we were one unit. It seemed like Ana had mastered herself, like she was ruled by plans and logic instead of reflex and rage. And Takeshi was our Captain, and we were his Guards.
I’m waiting to find out if that’s still the case.
We patrolled just north of the zone for a few days, with me on the roofs and Takeshi in the alleys—and Ana wandering the streets in plain sight, just as one of the citizens might do. She has lovely dark hair, and she wore it down, so the Mazikin would see. They do seem fond of hair.
On the fifth day of the operation, two Mazikin approached her slowly, sniffing the air, perhaps because they sensed the faintest scent of me or Takeshi. But Ana was such a perfect recruit that they abandoned caution and took her by the arms.
We followed them for several blocks. We wanted them to get as close as possible without actually leading her into the nest. But when they guided her inside an abandoned mill building, Takeshi gave the order. We moved in.
It was the right call. They were attempting to tie her to a table inside. The incense was just starting to smoke. She was fighting them. That’s when one of them clawed her arm.
We captured them both, and their aggression toward Ana fueled our interrogation sessions. We questioned them separately, and each told us that we would find the nest in the basement of an apartment building not ten blocks from the mill.
In other words, my plan was a success. I hope Ana and Takeshi agree. I am leaving shortly to check in on Ana, as I’ve been informed she has awakened after Raphael’s healing. Takeshi has been gone since he brought Ana here two days ago, so I will send Rais to find him and give him the news.
Day 12167
I am recovering from a near-fatal bout of stupidity. When I awoke an hour or so ago, Raphael told me that I've been unconscious for seven days. I remember collapsing on the street perhaps twenty blocks from here, and apparently a Guard patrol found me and carried me back to the Station.