“Jason, are you sure?” There was no need to expound on the question she was asking.
“No,” he sighed heavily and paused, “but it’s done anyway. I signed the leasing papers today,” he stated quietly.
He could hear his sister’s intake of breath and slow exhale. “Okay, well I’ll be there in about an hour with the boxes.”
“Thanks.” He didn’t say goodbye, he just hit end on his phone and placed it back on the counter.
True to her word, Jaime arrived within the hour, struggling with the folded boxes under her arm and a bag full of boxing tape and dispensers. Jason opened the door and immediately grabbed the boxes from her, earning him a grateful “Thank you!” She tossed the bag of tape inside his house, and turned back to her car for another load, with Jason following. He grabbed the remaining boxes from her trunk, while she grabbed a case of beer from the backseat of her car.
Back inside, Jason set the boxes down as Jaime retrieved a bottle opener from the kitchen. Handing her brother a Heineken, they set to work, each taking a roll of boxing tape and a box.
“Are you going to call her before you leave?” Jaime asked, after working in silence for awhile.
“I shouldn’t.”
“You should,” Jaime responded.
“It won’t change anything.”
Jaime finished filling her current box and closed it, securing it with tape and writing which room it went in on top with a Sharpie.
Done with her current box she grabbed two more beers from the kitchen. Opening them, she once again handed one to her brother, who took the beer with a nod, and turned back to packing. After a minute he realized his sister was still standing next to him, staring at him until he looked up.
“Alright, I’m just going to say this once, and then I’m going to back off,” Jaime started. Jason, slightly frustrated, stopped packing and turned to look at her; he motioned for her to continue. “This fellowship is important, and as your sister, I’m really proud of you. You earned it.” She nodded her head for emphasis and took a long pull off her beer before continuing.
“I think you should go to Seattle, because you would regret it if you didn’t.” She paused, as though searching for the right words, then started again, “The problem is, you’re in love with the girl of your dreams, who it turns out, you’ve probably actually been in love with since high school.” Jason pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting, as if in pain, as his sister continued. “So here’s the thing, you have to try…not to lose her. You have to… Jason, I don’t know, you have to tell her how you feel.”
“You haven’t told her you love her; you never said the words. If you leave things the way they are, she’ll never know how deeply you feel for her! She’ll end up thinking it meant nothing to you!” Jaime was practically yelling at this point, “You’re making decisions for both of you, without giving her all the facts!”
He looked at her sharply, “Jaime, don’t you think I want to do that?!” Jason yelled back. “You really think I don’t want to get in my car, drive to her apartment, and profess my undying love?! I do! But I can’t do that, because if I do that, and she feels the same way I do, one of us has to give up everything for the other, and I’m taking the position in Seattle; I have to. So that leaves it all up to her, she gives up everything for me, and I won’t do that to her. If I go to Seattle for this fellowship and take Kara with me, she gives up everything; she leaves her family, her friends, and her life behind. I can’t expect that from her. I can’t do that to her! Because I love her. And because I love her, I can’t expect her to wait for me, to put her life on hold and give up the opportunity at finding somebody here who will give her what she deserves.” He clenched his fists and growled in physical pain at the thought of Kara with another man. Jaime flinched at her brother’s pain, and launched herself at him, gripping him in a tight hug. After a minute, Jason lifted his arms and hugged her back. They stood there together for awhile, until Jaime pulled back and looked up at her brother.
“Okay.” It was as all she said before turning back to grab another box to continue packing his things.
~*~
Two months. It had been two months since Kara had seen or heard from Jason. He had gotten the fellowship, and the next thing she knew, their relationship was over. She still couldn’t believe the way it had ended. One day they were happy, the next it was over and her heart was gone. Not broken. Gone. There was an empty pit of despair in its place; a black hole of anger and grief that sucked everything into it, including her well-meaning friends.
Even her business suffered. It didn’t bode well when she continued to try and persuade a client to let her decorate their daughter’s sweet sixteen cake black.
It had been two months; things should be getting easier, right? Only they seemed to be getting worse. Kara needed to snap out of it; Jason had moved on, she should be also, but the thought of him moving on without her continued to be a fresh sucker punch to her gut each and every time she imagined it.
She was standing in front of a wedding cake, attempting pearl drops, when Jaime walked into her shop unexpectedly. Unable to deal with speaking to anyone - well intentioned or not, let alone Jason’s family - she had been dodging his sister’s calls. Surprised by Jaime’s entrance, Kara’s hand accidentally collided with the cake when she looked up, damaging it beyond repair. Jaime stood stock still and stared in horror at the damage she had caused by her arrival.
“Oh, God, Kara! I’m so, so sorry,” Jaime blurted as she rushed to her friend’s side, apologizing profusely. Kara stared blankly at the cake, then without a word, turned and grabbed the trash can. Using one hand, she swept the cake into the trash and closed the lid.
“The icing was shit anyway,” Kara grumbled, shrugging off what happened, as she walked to the refrigerator and pulled out ingredients for another tiered cake. For just a second, she was slightly irritated with herself for not trying to salvage the actual cake, but the professional in her knew she’d have to start from scratch for optimal results. After all, this was a wedding cake. It would be the happiest day of their lives. The thought made Kara want to kick the crap out of something. She decided to take it out on the refrigerator door, kicking it closed with more force than necessary, causing Jaime to jump at the noise.
Kara turned, her hands full, and looked at Jaime expectantly, waiting for her to say something. She become slightly exasperated as Jaime obviously struggled with whatever that would be.
“He misses you,” Jaime blurted out. Kara frowned and stared without responding. “I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting, but he is too, and he’s my brother. I want you guys to be happy, and that’s not going to happen with the way things are right now.”
“Are you kidding me with this Jaime?” Kara could feel the volcano of anger building up, ready to release the energy it had been storing as Jaime’s declaration brought her out of her silent stupor.
“He. Left. Me.” Kara enunciated each word carefully. “And he hasn’t called. It’s been two months! And this, after telling me he’d like to ‘keep in touch,’” Kara sniped bitterly using air quotes. “He packed up, moved away, and left me for a new life in Seattle.” Her face now flushed red with anger, she continued, with voice raised and arms flailing, “And now you come here to tell me he ‘misses me?’ I really don’t care what he...”
“He loves you; he told me!” Jaime cried out, interrupting Kara’s tirade. “He’s miserable. He’s been miserable since he got that damn acceptance letter. He didn’t want to leave you, he loves you,” Jaime said, lowering her voice to a near pleading whisper. She moved closer to her friend, slowly, as though afraid to spook a feral animal. “Kara, the fellowship, it’s important to him. It’s his bakery,” Jaime tried to explain, motioning to the walls around them. “He doesn’t know I’m here, he’d be furious if he did.”
“He doesn’t want you to give up your dream, and he can’t give up his, but he’s so miserable. He’s like a shell of who he was when he was with you
. He’s empty.” Kara had yet to respond so Jaime continued, “He loves you, Kara.” Her words now more gentle.
Kara couldn’t speak; she just looked at Jaime and blinked. Until the rage hit. She felt outside herself as she began throwing kitchen items and smashing dishes until she collapsed, falling to her knees in a sobbing heap.
“He left,” she whimpered. “You say he loves me, but he never did; I thought he did. But instead he packed up his things and moved away, and I can’t even be angry with him for it. He deserved it; he worked hard for the opportunity. But damn it, Jaime, I haven’t heard from him since he left!” Kara continued to cry, her arms encircling her legs as she hugged them tightly to her chest. “He left, and I wasn’t worth the effort to make us work,” her voice was barely a whisper.
Jaime kneeled down next to her and rested her hand on Kara’s shoulder, “Do you love him?” she asked her friend gently. Kara looked up sharply, anger blazing in her eyes.
“Does it matter?” she snapped.
“Of course it does, Kara,” Jaime sighed and dropped her arm from Kara’s shoulder. “Jason’s an idiot, my whole family will attest to it, but he’s an idiot who’s never really been in love before you. He has no idea what he’s doing, so he’s fucking it all up in the process,” Jaime tried to explain. “If you love him, we can fix this. You can be happy; he can be happy!”
Kara wiped her face with her hands then let them drop listlessly to her lap.
“I do love him,” she whispered. “I love him, and I miss him so much it feels like it’s killing me.” She sniffed back more tears, wiping her eyes again.
Jaime hugged her, squeezing Kara’s shoulders tighter, “Good. Then we’ll fix this,” she promised.
Kara looked into Jaime’s eyes and saw determination there. Slowly they got up off the floor and Kara looked around the room, taking in the destruction she had released on her kitchen. “Awesome.”
Jaime let out a soft laugh as she surveyed the room alongside her friend, “Don’t worry, we’ll fix this too.” Kara looked at her skeptically, but Jaime just nodded her head. “We just need some back up.” She reached for her phone and dialed as she walked a short distance away from Kara to speak for a minute, then hung up and dialed again.
Thirty minutes later Evalyn, Eric, and Ryan arrived, and without saying a word the boys got to work cleaning up the mess Kara had made, while Eva took Kara into her arms and discussed the ruined cake, figuring out what needed to be done to complete the order.
Once the replacement cake was in the oven and the kitchen was cleaned, Jaime approached Kara.
“How successful is this place?” The question caught Kara off guard, and she wasn’t sure what to say.
“Um, it’s…” Kara started, but Jaime interrupted.
“Can you afford to hire somebody to run it?” Jaime’s eyes twinkled and Kara could feel the excitement radiating off her.
“Yeah, I guess so, I mean, I haven’t hired help because I was recouping the start up costs, but now I’m about even, I think. Maybe in the black?” Kara wasn’t sure exactly what Jaime was thinking, but hiring additional help had been something in the back of Kara’s mind for awhile now, until recently, when she pretty much stopped caring all together.
“Can I take a look at your books? I don’t want to be too intrusive, but I could look at the numbers and we could work on a business plan,” Jaime clarified.
“A business plan?” Kara was completely confused.
“Well, Seattle has an abundance of coffee houses, but is sorely lacking in Edible Delectables,” Jaime grinned and Eva nodded her head in approval.
Kara sat down on a stool, stunned at the thought. She shook her head to clear it. “This is crazy; I can’t open up a bakery in Seattle! I haven’t even spoken to Jason since he left! He stopped talking to me.” She shook her head again, “I can’t do this, I’m sorry, you guys are amazing, and I love you, but I have to get out of here.” Kara jumped up, pushing the stool over in her haste, and raced for the door.
~*~
Jaime glanced at everyone around the room, apologized, and ran after Kara, Eva following close behind. “This is my fault.” Jaime moaned. “I pushed too hard, too fast.”
Eva shook her head, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Kara’s stubborn. And Jason’s an ass,” she added, glancing sideways at Jaime.
“Where do you think she went?” Jaime wondered aloud, ignoring the jab at her brother. Eva shook her head in response.
“You know, he’s really not an ass,” Jaime said quietly, “not intentionally anyway. He really is in love with Kara. It killed him to leave her; he just didn’t see any other way,” she tried to explain.
“Yeah? Talking about it would have been a good place to start,” Evalyn said flatly. Jaime looked away, simply nodding in agreement. They stood silently together on the street, both trying to think of where Kara would go when she was this upset, when Evalyn’s phone rang.
“Hey, are you okay? Where are you?” she launched in, answering her phone. Jaime watched Evalyn closely, anxious to hear Kara’s response. “Oh God, Kara, we’re on our way.” Eva shoved her phone back in her pocket and grabbed Jaime’s arm, pulling her back in the direction of Edible Delectables.
“What’s going on?” Jaime asked worried, trying to keep up with Evalyn’s longer legs.
“Kara’s dad was in an accident. She got the call and is already headed to Houston.”
~*~
In Houston, Paul Baker’s car had flipped, totaling the vehicle, and his internal injuries required immediate transport for possible surgery. Paul’s friend, Stan, called Kara to notify her of the situation, and keep her updated on Paul’s condition.
Kara was also able to get additional information from Stan regarding the accident, learning Paul was conscious when the paramedics arrived and able to talk to them. The relief that flowed through her at this news was so intense it made her lightheaded to the point of almost needing to pull over in order to gather herself back together. She asked Stan what caused the accident and was told Paul had swerved to avoid hitting a dog in the road but ended up hitting a tree. The air bag in his car deployed, breaking Paul’s nose but ultimately saving his life as it provided more protection to his head as the side of his car hit the tree. The collision caused ribs on his left side to break and one had made a small puncture in his lung, which they would go in surgically to repair and get a visual of the damage the rib had caused. Paul was stable and awake, but would most likely be in the operating room when Kara arrived.
After thanking Stan for the information Kara hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. She called Evalyn to give her the update, knowing she and Eric were somewhere on the road only a half hour behind her.
Chapter Eighteen
Exhausted, Jason trudged into his apartment and collapsed onto the couch. His current schedule, along with lack of sleep, had left him completely drained. He grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned on the television, quickly flipping through the channels. Not really paying attention to what was on any of them, he finally settled on some banal sitcom. Stretching out along the couch, he closed his eyes, hoping he might actually fall asleep at some point instead of spending the night thinking about her.
It had been two months. Two months of picking up his phone and scrolling to her name, only to clear the screen and put the phone back down. He was constantly fighting the urge to throw the damn thing across the room, every time he picked it up he was reminded of the pain he had caused her. He was sure she hated him, how could she not? After saying they would keep in touch, he then purposely avoiding calling her, because he knew if he did, he would break down and beg her to move to Seattle.
In the blink of an eye, Jason had managed to completely destroy any happiness in his life, and for what? A fellowship? Had he really deluded himself into believing a pediatric ER fellowship was his dream? No, his dream was over seventeen hundred miles away from him, cursing his name. What he would give to go back to that fateful
decision and realize all of this before his monumental mistake of leaving. Now he was stuck in Seattle, advancing his career all alone.
Well, all alone while surrounded by a sea of women practically throwing themselves at him. He was used to having the attention, and in the past it had flattered him, but now it only annoyed him. It had been two months. How long until the void within him began to fade? Did he want it to?
The loud shrill of his phone startled him and he reached over to grab it off the table, not needing to see the caller ID to know who it was as he hit decline. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Jaime. There was only one person he wanted to answer his phone for, and sadly that ring tone hadn’t played in over two months. Now completely frustrated, he grabbed his iPod off the coffee table and stuffed the ear buds in his ears. Scrolling to the melancholy playlist he had been listening to for weeks now, he closed his eyes again, and attempted to sleep.
~*~
“Damn it, Jason!” Jaime closed her phone and stuffed it into her pocket. She wasn’t entirely surprised Jason hadn’t answered his phone; they’d barely spoken since his move across country. If on a random occasion she did manage to get a hold of him, the conversation typically lasted less than ten minutes before Jason begged off and muttered something about being busy. Now, with Eva on her way to be with Kara, Jaime frantically tried to reach her brother.
She’d gone into crisis mode after hearing the news about Paul, and while Eva and Eric drove to Houston, Jaime was handling the bakery and any pressing orders. The wedding cake client was contacted and the order placed exactly as requested by the bakery Kara used as a backup when needed. Jaime was convinced now, more than ever, that Kara needed to hire more help, and that once she did she would see more options open to her - including Seattle.