He says all in a rush.
“Did you get their plate number?” I ask, seeking a tiny thread of information we could use.
His face falls and I step back before I punch him.
“Sorry,” he murmurs.
I turn my back on him and storm towards the main house. First Oak, and now Sparky. Bursting through the front door, I hear chatter all around me. I catch Bonnie’s voice floating out of the kitchen and don’t stop until I find her with her head in a cupboard scrubbing it clean.
“What was so fuckin’ important you had my brother leave the grounds on his own with a fuckin’ prospect?” I don’t hide the angry frustration in my voice and I don’t try to keep it quiet.
She draws back on her heels and stands, looking like she didn’t understand my question.
I step towards her and she backs into the cupboards. She is strong and will hold her own but she can see I’m not fucking around now.
“What did you need?” I repeat.
“Why? What’s happened?” she asks.
“I asked you a fuckin’ question, answer me,” I yell, bringing the house to silence.
Her eyes fill with water and it only spikes my anger right now.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with you what my husband went to get for me and our son.”
She’s fucking brave, I’ll give her that, or stupid, I’ll also give her that.
“It has everything to do with me when we’re under threat and my brother is sent on fuckin’ useless errands. Not only do I have Oak God only knows where, I now have Sparky missing too. My brother, your old man and JJ’s daddy might not come home again all because you nagged him to get your fuckin’ hairbrush,” my throat is burning from shouting in her face but I’m determined to get it through to her. She has fucked up.
Sparky will do anything to keep her happy and have a quiet life, to kill one both in one trip, he wouldn’t think twice.
Alannah comes up behind me and pulls me away from Bonnie.
“They’ve got him too?” she asks.
“Yeah, all because of her,” I spit.
A small choke escapes Lana’s throat and I know how she feels.
“Nice one, Bon. You’ve probably just got him killed.”
I don’t care about fairness or hurting her feelings. She’s a good fit for my brother but sometimes I wonder why he puts up with her. Alannah would never ask me to leave for something that could be lived without during a time like this.
“Don’t put this on me,” she screams, tears falling down her cheeks, “Sparky never does anything he doesn’t want to do.”
“Unless it’s to do with you,” I counter argue.
I can’t stand to look at her, shrugging out of Alannah’s hold, I turn and walk out of the house to find Slade looking around for me.
He jogs over as I try to catch my breath. Looking down at my hands, for the first time since I was a child, my hands are shaking.
“What have you found?”
Reading from a bunch of papers, he says, “Danny has a mom out West. Two brothers, one’s affiliated with him and the other is at college near his mom and he has a sister who lives an hour away from here. No old lady.”
He passes the papers over and I scan over the names and addresses. One name stands out and I decide to play dirty.
Handing the information back to him, I say, “When the sun goes down, we leave to get our leverage.”
“We’re going to take his family?”
“He has our family,” I shrug, “He’s got Sparky now too. Tonight we take his sister, and if we don’t get our brothers back, we’ll work our way down his entire blood line.”
Chapter Thirty
Oak
“How did they get you?” Sparky asks, after sitting in silence for a while.
“They ran me off the road when I was on my way home, before I could drag my ass up off the ground, they were hauling me into their van.”
“Motherfuckers,” he barks.
“Yeah, motherfuckers,” I agree sighing, “How did they get you?”
Anger covers his face, “Got me coming out of my place, Bonnie wanted some gear and like a fuckin’ fool, I went with a prospect.”
Moving my arms an inch becomes a big mistake. There is no feeling left and pains shoot down to my aching shoulders.
“You’re not lookin’ so good, brother. I have to get us out of here, you’re not gonna last much longer.”
“Do you know what I’ve learnt about myself since they dragged me down here?” I hedge.
“What?”
“I’m an alcoholic.”
A short, sharp burst of laughter fills the basement and bounces off the brick walls.
“Yeah, brother,” he agrees with me.
Regret and depression washes over me and when I try to brush it away, it settles in deeper.
“Shellie told me I’m going to die here,” I say.
“No one’s dying here,” he snaps, angrily, “Don’t be listening to any bitch here.”
I shake my head but stop when the aches rattle my brain.
“Shellie was my old lady back in the day, I had a dream about her.” I tell him.
“You do need a drink if you’re believing in ghosts.”
I do need a drink and I need her to come back to me and we can go back to the way it was. Back to when I was all she needed and I could see this time that she was all I needed. Why didn’t I just give her more time, she wasn’t asking for all my time, just more than what I was giving.
I was blind and I was fucking stupid beyond words.
A combination of pent up regret, frustration and angers gets the better of me and my breath comes hard and fast, every pain and ache in my body magnifies and I struggle to contain it.
“Brother, calm down, come on, tell me about her. What was she like?”
Shellie. Go back to those days when you didn’t need the drink. Bouncing my head against the wall behind me, it takes a minute before I can speak.
“She was beautiful; she probably still is.” I sigh, “To everyone else she was a little quiet thing, she had this musical laugh on her and it did things to me to hear it. She was kind and sweet but under it all, she was strong and feisty. She’d never let up in an argument against me and we fought a lot,” I chuckle.
I remember her storming into the bar because I hadn’t been back home in a few days. It was filled with brothers but she said her piece no matter that everyone could her.
“You haven’t spoken much about her.”
“I didn’t see the point, but she’s always been in my head. Wondering where she is now, if she’s married and has kids. She looked up to Rayna a lot and when she got pregnant with Alannah, she was jealous. I loved her and I regret not giving her everything because she deserved it, she truly did. I was just a fool to believe she deserved it with someone who could offer her more.”
A long minute passes before he says anything and my regret grows heavier.
“I couldn’t do that, I know deep down Bonnie would be safer living another life but I’ll never let her go, she drives me crazy half the time and she’s stubborn as fuck, but when it’s just me and her when JJ is asleep at night, she is what makes me want to wake up the next morning. I don’t know how you did it, brother, to let her go and regret it all these years. I think I’d be an alcoholic too.”
I’ve watched, from the beginning, his relationship grow with Bonnie and I was rooting for him to man up and stop her from ripping his balls off every time she kept him away in the beginning. He was truly pussy whipped with that woman and now he has her, I’m glad he won’t let her go. I should have done that myself. When I saw Cas and Alannah getting closer the summer before Michael betrayed us, I knew then Cas was more than a male whore and would end up one day settling down and becoming something more than Michael’s bitch boy. He reminds me of Mark in many ways, but he has a quicker temper that sets ablaze the world if prompted, Mark was harder to get too.
“Why did she
leave you?” he asks, after the silence becomes too loud.
“After Rayna died, it spooked her. She saw how much Mark loved her and protected her but when it wasn’t enough, she couldn’t handle it. I spent more time in the bar, drinking to cover my grief for Rayna and left her on her own. She couldn’t take no more. She begged me to leave the club but I wouldn’t. Like I said, she wanted more and at the time, I wasn’t prepared to give her it.”
“Have you had Slade look for her at all?”
“Nah, I left her be because I knew if I found her, I would destroy the life she had made for herself because I wouldn’t have been able to let her go again.”
“Well, I’m not leaving Bonnie and your regret needs to be fuckin’ dealt with. We’re going to get out of here one way or another, so why don’t we act like the Lost Souls we are and make it happen?”
Chapter Thirty-One
Cas
No one is moving fast enough in my eyes. Slade, Ricky and Dex, the prospect, will be joining me collecting Danny’s sister, and I’m getting pissed off they’re taking their time.
“Are you sure you want to go down this road?” Alannah is again on my back and I can’t catch a break from anyone at the moment.
“Who’s the fuckin’ president of this club?” I snap, “Don’t question my decisions.”
She steps back, holding her hands up in surrender and her face falls.
“Wow,” she huffs, “you sounded like Michael then, he used a woman for his own means too.”
I can’t believe she is comparing me to that piece of scum. I can’t even look at her. Turning my back on the sight of her, I climb into the passenger seat of the van and refuse to make eye contact with her.
“You’ve crossed the motherfuckers of all lines, babe.”
“Cas…”
“No, get back in the house. If you think I would put a woman through what you endured, I don’t know why I married you.”
I finally look at her and her eyes fill with water. My remark has cut her but she has no idea how much hers has cut me.
I am nothing like Michael, nothing. How he treated Alannah after she returned home from college, and how he used her still haunts me, let alone how it still haunts her.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Jumping back out of the van, I hold her face in my hands and stare hardly at her.
“No, you shouldn’t have but you did. I love you but if you don’t get back in that house, I will say something that I can’t take back and the last thing I want to add to my shit list is causing you to cry.”
Stepping away from her, I refuse to watch her walk away. To know she will be upset until I return and can make it right with her.
“Slade, Ricky, let’s go.” I shout, noticing them hanging back.
Piling into the van, I relent and watch Lana walk through the door and slam it shut behind her before Ricky drives out of the gate.
She is the one woman who I thought got me, turns out I was wrong. She can throw a lot at me and I brush it off, knowing deep down she doesn’t mean it, but comparing me to Michael is a step too far.
“If Ky spends any more time with Leo, she’s going to want to have her own,” Ricky says, feeling the need to fill the silence.
“Are you not ready to be a daddy yet?” Slade asks him.
I stare out of the window and ignore the pair of them.
“I am, but I don’t think she is, we’ve spoken about it a lot but she’s hesitant.”
“I know how that feels, it took Kristen ages to come around to the idea of having another kid. I’m fucking glad she did though.”
“She’ll be ready one day and then there will be no stopping me,” he laughs and it irritates the shit out of me.
“As long as she doesn’t jack up in the meantime, you mean?” I snort.
Let’s not mistake her for a saint with a few issues. She’s a recovering addict who has a daddy to shoot any dealers who come sniffing her way and a man up her ass to keep her distracted.
“Let’s not take any anger out on the ones who don’t deserve it, brother?” Slade offers.
“Who said I was taking my anger out on anyone? I’m just stating a fact. Kyla is way off being ready to have a fuckin’ baby and you all know it, that’s why you’re up her ass every second of everyday. As soon as you piss her off, she’ll be clucking for a fix.”
“What the fuck, Cas? Kyla hasn’t done nothing to you, just because your old lady has/ pissed you off, it doesn’t give you the right to go against mine.” Ricky half yells, trying to keep his clam behind the wheel.
“He’s right, brother. What’s going on with you?”
“You want to ask me what’s going on with me? Seriously?”
“You don’t usually attack women, something must be going on with you?” Slade argues back with me.
“Shut up, the next person to say I attack women, will end up in the ground,” I grind out.
The rest of the drive is silent, and I lean my head back against the head rest and close my eyes. This isn’t like Michael using Alannah for his own gains, this is us scaring Danny into handing over our brothers. No harm will come to his sister and apart from the whole keeping her hostage thing, she will be treated as a guest.
Danny’s sister’s street is quiet when Ricky slows down a few houses down from the address we have for her.
Looking over the information Slade found on her, I match the car registration on the paper to the car parked in the drive.
“She’s home,” Slade points out, “How are we going to do this?”
Thinking rapidly and planning carefully, I finally decide, “I’ll go knock on her door.”
My brother’s look stupefied, “Just going to walk up and knock on her door, how about witnesses?” Slade asks.
Shaking my head, I wonder if anyone has any faith left in me?
“Wait here, Slade, you get in the back and when I get back with her, Ricky, you drive immediately.”
Climbing out of the van, I close the door quietly and cross the street. It’s a typical family street in a typical family neighbourhood. As a kid I would dream about being a part of a family who live in houses like these. To play with my toys out on the lawn and ride a bike up and down the street while your mom shouts out for you to be careful. Forcing the useless dreams away, I walk up the path and knock on her door.
The only light coming from the house is behind the window in the front door. A shadow moves towards me and when the door opens, I’m surprised to see Danny’s sister is so normal looking.
“Can I help you?” she asks, cautiously.
“I was sent to let you know your brother has been in an accident and it isn’t looking good for him.” I lie through my teeth.
She goes to close the door on me but I quickly shove my boot in the way.
“You’re being rude.”
“Thank you for letting me know,” she blurts out.
“He told me to come pick you up and take you to the hospital, our other brothers are already picking up your mom and your brother and your brother in college.”
She relaxes hearing more information I spill about her family and she opens the door wider.
“What’s your name?”
“Noah,” I lie, “Look, I’m just doing what your brother asked for, can we hurry up please, I want to see how he is.”
This gets her moving and she grabs her bag and her keys from the small table behind her.
“How bad is he hurt?” she asks, locking up.
“They think he’s broken his back, they were taking him to the hospital when he ordered us to come and get you.”
“Us?”
She follows me across the street, her heels clicking against the road and I open the door for her to climb in.
“He’s Ricky,” I point to him in the driver’s seat, “and he’s Slade,” I tell her, pointing to him in the back.
She hikes herself into the middle seat and I quickly jump in beside her. Her flower
y scent fills the truck and not one brother gives her the once over. Back in the day, our single days, we would have at least noticed her even if she is leverage.
My mind goes back to Alannah and I hate the way I left her. I know she’ll be waiting on me and will let me apologise, but this time I want more than a one-off apology from her.
Ricky has the van driving off before I can close the door and we’re off her street in less than a beat.
“How did it happen?” she asks, only looking at me.
I dig out my smokes and light one up before I answer her.
“How did what happen?” I retort.
“Danny’s accident,” she frowns, confused.
“Has he been in an accident?” I mock.
Her head spins and she looks back at Slade, then to Ricky before returning to me.
“You said he sent you to get me because he’s been in an accident, you said they think he’s broken his back.”
“Did I?”
“Yes, you did,” she grinds out, “what the hell is going on?”
She’s feisty, it will do her well until her brother gives back what is ours and we let her go home.
“You just became our leverage. Danny has two of our brothers and if he wants you to remain alive, he’ll hand them over to us.”
****
Ricky pulls up beside the clubhouse and I jump out of the van, Melissa stays where she is and refuses to move.
“Get out.”
Slade and Ricky come to stand either side of me and she flat out gives us death glares. For a whole minute she flat out doesn’t move, it isn’t until Ricky inches closer ready to drag her out that she begrudgingly shimmies out of the van. Once her feet have hit the ground, I wrap my hand around her arm and push her into the bar. Everyone stops their conversations and watches us with interest.
“Everyone, this is Melissa. Danny’s sister. She isn’t to be touched or spoken too unless you see her trying to leave.” I order.