Finn stumbled back.
“What I did to her?” Tahdaon hissed, and hit him again with an uppercut that would have dropped any other man. “What did you do to her? Or more exactly what didn't you do to her?”
Finn's expression changed as he realized what Tahdaon was implying, and his face went pale.
Tahdaon turned on Cush who stood back, hidden behind Helfrich and Hauk.
“And you,” Tahdaon snarled, pointing at Cush, and pushing the men out of the way to get to him. “How could you let us all believe you had been with her? Do you have any idea what you've done?”
Tahdaon raised his fist, but Finn caught his arm and stopped him from slamming it into Cush's face.
“Enough,” Finn demanded, and turned to Cush. “Is it true?”
Cush looked petrified and Tahdaon snarled at the boy's cowardice. Finally he nodded and cringed as if expecting Tahdaon to strike him at any moment
Finn expelled a shuddering breath and turned to Tahdaon. “Is she okay?”
“No,” Tahdaon hissed, his own guilt washing over him. It was a lot easier to punch someone else then deal with his own slipup.
Finn looked apprehensively at Cara's carriage and then back at Tahdaon. “What do we do?”
Finn's eye was already swelling and there was a red mark on the man's chin that would turn into a nasty bruise. Tahdaon had expected him to swing back, and had hoped he would. He needed a good fight. It was the only thing that would take the edge off the guilt he was feeling.
“Go,” Tahdaon growled, pointing his finger at Finn's chest. “Get over yourself and go to her. She needs you now more than ever.”
Finn nodded and turned towards the carriage.
Tahdaon turned and walked away and cursed himself that we wasn't man enough to provide the comfort she needed.
Chapter 13
Cara cringed as she heard a soft knock, followed by the sound of the carriage door creaking open.
“Leave me alone.” Her voice was empty of emotion, and she kept her back to whoever had disturbed her.
The mattress sunk down as her unwelcome guest took a seat on the edge of her bed, and Cara flinched when his hand rested tentatively on her shoulder.
“Please,” she cried, hiding her face in the pillow. “Go away.”
“Cara.”
Realizing it was Finn's voice, she shrunk away even further. She didn't want him to see her, not like this. Covered in blood and Tahdaon's filth.
The memory was still too vivid. She could still smell him, taste him, and her body ached in both pain and pleasure at what they had done. How could something that had made her feel alive and loved one moment, make her feel so dirty and scorned the next?
He had been clear about his rules, and still she had chosen to be with him, to be with a man who felt nothing but resentment towards her.
“I just want to be left alone,” she pleaded.
He hesitated for a moment, but instead of leaving, he moved closer and scooped her into his arms. She fought against him briefly, but she didn't have the energy or the strength to continue. When she went limp against his chest, he brushed the hair back from her cheek and gently kissed her forehead.
“I've got you,” he whispered. “It's going to be okay.”
His kindness was like a dagger to her heart.
“No it's not. You don't know what I've done,” she said, burying her face in his chest, unable to look at him for the shame she felt.
He tightened his grip around her and sighed, “Yes I do, and I promise I'll make it better.”
She winced at his confession. What had Tahdaon done? Had he gone back and bragged to everyone at the camp?
She could strangle him.
It wasn't enough that he had treated her like a piece of filth while they were alone. He had to go and expose her humiliation to the entire group. He really was an asshole.
So why was she so surprised by how he acted?
She knew why, and it was a pathetic and childish delusion. Shaking her head against Finn's chest, and squeezing her eyes tight, she couldn't lie to herself. She had wanted him to care for her. To desire her. To see something behind his eyes that didn't exist. It was a foolish fantasy, one she had sacrificed her pride and body for.
Blinking back tears of frustration, she knew she only had herself to blame for the mess she was in. He had warned her that it would just be sex, and she had accepted his terms. So, how could she blame him? He had been honest. More honest than she had been.
Still, she hadn't expected him to turn his back on her the moment he was finished, and hadn't been prepared for the anger she had seen in his eyes.
Tightening her hands into fists, her fingernails bit into her palms until the broke the skin. She took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly, trying to quell her emotions. She didn't know if she should laugh or cry at the irony of the situation. At no time in her life had she experienced such intense pleasure. Her body had responded to his touch in ways she had never imagined possible, and even now, despite her guilt and anger, she couldn't control the desire she had to be with him again.
She was such a fool.
“I'm sorry,” she breathed into Finn's chest.
He stiffened. “You didn't do anything wrong. It's me that should apologize to you.”
Cara shook her head in confusion and pulled back so she could see his face. She drew her breath in sharply at the sight of his swollen eye and bruised face.
“Your face,” Cara gasped.
“That bad?” he asked, gingerly touching his jaw.
“Who did that to you?” she demanded.
His eyes focused on hers, and his brows creased. “Tahdaon.”
“What? Why? Did you hit him back?” she asked hopefully.
“No,” he said with a look of regret. “I didn't hit him back.”
She made a face that showed her disappointment, and he laughed.
He tilted his head and picked up her hand. Cara's heart broke in her chest as he lightly pressed a single kiss to each of her knuckles. She didn't deserve his kindness.
“Tahdaon believed that we had been together,” he said, lowering his eyes. “He wouldn't have treated you so…carelessly had he known the truth.”
Heat rose to her cheeks. “You didn't start the rumors.”
“No, but I did nothing to dispel them either. I left you unprotected and vulnerable. That's why Tahdaon is angry.”
Cara shook her head. Why would Tahdaon care? He had made it clear that he had no feelings for her.
“You're wrong. Tahdaon was born angry. He doesn't care about me.”
Finn shifted, and she couldn't stop herself from gasping at the sudden pain that sliced through her. She held her breath until the feeling subsided.
The look of sympathy in Finn's eyes confused her even more.
“Why aren't you angry with me?” she asked, completely baffled by the compassion he was showing her.
He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “Why aren't you angry with me?” he sighed, placing his hands on both sides of her face. “No more blame Cara. No more denying your desires. There's no reason for you to ever sleep alone, unless it's what you choose. I can't promise that I won't be jealous when you spend time with the other men, but I will make certain that it doesn't come between us again. Will you accept that?”
All she could do was nod. It was more than she deserved, more than she could ask for.
He smiled and his voice was soft as he stroked her cheek. “I'm going to clean you now,”
“What?” she said startled, and whimpered in protest as he laid her carefully on the bed.
He brushed a gentle kiss over her brow before straightening and retrieving a clean nightshirt, fresh wash towels, and a basin of water.
She stared at him in horror at what he suggested.
He kneeled beside her and brushed her hair away from her cheek. “I know I haven't earned it, but I'm asking you to trust me. Can you do that?”
She
hesitated. Not because she didn't trust him, but because she was flustered by what he was going to do. How could he look at her with so much tenderness, so much love, when she had given herself to another man? And now he wanted to clean the evidence from her body. It was too much to comprehend.
“I won't hurt you.”
“I know,” she answered truthfully.
Slowly she allowed him to remove her dress. His fingers worked deftly at the buttons on the front, and when they were loosened, he carefully pulled the fabric over her head and threw the soiled garment on the floor. Cara wrapped her arms around her chest, and reached to pull the covers over her nakedness. Not even with Tahdaon had she been this exposed.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Don't hide from me.” His voice was tight with lust, but he gave her a tender smile that eased her discomfort.
Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Cara allowed her arms to drop to her side.
Finn reached for one of the towels, dropped it in the wash basin and then wrung it out.
“Open your legs,” he said gently.
Closing her eyes, she swallowed past the lump in her throat and did as he said. His hand rested on her knee and gently moved her leg so that she was even more exposed to him. She tried her best not to tense as he wiped the cool cloth along her inner thigh.
She bit her lip and waited as he cleaned the towel and continued to wash her. His touch made her body stir, and despite the soreness as he cleaned the between her thighs, she couldn't stop herself from arching her hips.
He groaned and his breath became erratic at her movement. “You have no idea how much I want you, but your body needs to heal.” He threw the towel in the basin and pushed it away. He picked up her nightshirt and ordered her to lift her arms so he could help her into it. “Let's get you dressed before I change my mind.”
Cara pulled the shirt down, and Finn covered her legs with the blanket.
“Lie down and rest,” he ordered.
Laying her head on the pillow, she panicked as he started to move away, and grabbed his hand to stop him.
Placing his arms on both sides of her shoulders, he leaned over her and smiled reassuringly. “I'm just going to get us some supper.”
She didn't want him to leave.
Lowering his mouth to hers, he kissed her softly, tenderly, and her anxiety dissolved. When he finally pulled away, his eyes secured on hers. “I'll be right back.”
She nodded and let him go.
Outside of the carriage, Finn had to steady himself. All the blood in his body had rushed to a single location, and he had to take a few deep breaths before he was able to walk properly. In such a short time, she had become the most important thing in his life, and it was more than the vows he had taken. Even without the binding ceremony, his heart was hers.
He blew out a frustrated breath as he thought about Tahdaon. He wasn't sure what to do about the man. The Twelve were already at odds with one another. Finn was aware that the alliances the men had formed in their small group were a reflection of the political struggles between the provinces, and Tahdaon, like Dalgliesh, was an outcast. His most recent stunt was only going to make matters worse.
The men, minus Tahdaon, were situated around the fire, looking irritable and suspicious as he approached. Helfrich put down the bowl he had been eating from and walked towards him.
“How is she?” Helfrich asked, rubbing the back of his neck with a look of unease.
“She'll be fine, but I'm going to stay in her carriage for the next few days just to make sure. Tell the men to stay clear of her. I don't want anyone else disturbing her until she decides she's ready to see people.” Finn nodded towards the group of men. “What's the mood like in the camp?”
Helfrich scowled, “Arwel and Edmund haven't left Cush alone since his confession, and their insults are getting pretty nasty. Tahdaon's kept his distance, but some of the men have become increasingly vocal about their concerns that he's a danger to them and to Cara.”
Finn shook his head. “He's only dangerous to anyone who has thoughts of hurting her. They'd do well to remember that.”
Helfrich shrugged. “I've done my best to quell the distrust among the men, but this last outburst isn't going to go over well, and now that they know she has taken him as a lover, their resentment is only going to increase.”
Finn let out a long frustrated breath. “Where is he?”
Helfrich nodded towards the far end of the camp.
“I won't be long. Make up two plates for when I return.”
Tahdaon sat with his back against the tree trunk, one leg bent, the other extended, as he sharpened the edge of his sword. It was no wonder that the other men were uncertain of him; his size and strength alone presented an impressive picture, and the permanent scowl that marred his face added to the aura of danger. His stubborn refusal to associate himself with the men only made matters worse.
“Go away, Finn,” Tahdaon growled, as he continued to sharpen the steel blade.
“I don't know the details of what happened between the two of you, and quite frankly I don't want to know, but I do know you need to make some serious attitude adjustments if you're going to survive here.”
Before Finn could react, his back was shoved against the tree and Tahdaon's sword and forearm were against his throat.
“Is that a threat?”
“Only some friendly advice,” Finn hissed, as the sword dug into his neck.
“I don't need advice from a gutless coward,” Tahdaon snarled, increasing the pressure against Finn's throat.
The blade punctured his skin just enough to draw blood. The man needed a fight, and Finn was more than willing to give it to him. Better him than one of the other men who didn't stand a chance against Tahdaon's skill and strength.
“Where I come from only cowards attack an unarmed man,” Finn said calmly. “Put the blade down Tahdaon.”
“Where I come from threatening an enemy while unarmed is called stupid,” Tahdaon sneered, thrusting him hard against the tree before releasing him.
Finn shook his head. “I'm not your enemy, but if you're looking for a fight, here I am. You think punching me in the face a few more times will make you forget what you did to her?”
This time Finn was ready for Tahdaon's attack. Throwing a hard, right-handed sucker punch, Finn ducked and evaded the punch as Tahdaon's fist slammed hard against the tree.
Tahdaon cursed, grasped and rubbed his injured hand.
“Feel better?” Finn taunted.
“Not yet,” Tahdaon growled, and charged at Finn again.
This time his fist hit its mark and Finn let out an annoyed groan. The man could hit, and Finn was tired of being his punching bag.
Finn blocked the next punch, and brought his own fist hard into Tahdaon's abdomen. As the man bent down in pain, Finn brought his knee up and hit him square in the mouth. Bloodied and winded, Tahdaon returned to attack again.
“Does blaming me for your own shortcomings help ease the guilt?” Finn chided, grabbing the man around the throat from behind.
“Go to hell, Finn,” Tahdaon cried, propelling his elbow backwards into Finn's ribs.
Finn grunted. Damn, that was going to hurt in the morning.
The man was relentless, but Finn held his own as they exchanged blow for blow. Tahdaon hesitated briefly as Finn's fist caught his temple, and reacting on instinct, Finn launched himself at him, knocking them both to the ground.
“You want her to hate you as much as you hate yourself,” Finn provoked, rolling away and regaining his stance. “Then you're doing a good job.”
Tahdaon stood slowly, curled his lip and wiped the blood from his mouth. Glaring at Finn, he said, “You know nothing about me.”
“Tell me you don't care for her.”
“What does it matter to you?”
“Because I love her, and I know she has feelings for you. So whatever happened between the two of you, you need to make it right.” Finn l
owered his hands.
“She's your problem. You fix it.” Tahdaon picked up his discarded sword and walked away.
“Now who's the coward?” Finn said to the man's back, and he saw his shoulders flinch before he disappeared into the trees.
Finn sucked his breath in sharply as he straightened and stretched his bruised muscles. His entire body ached, and it was going to feel even worse tomorrow.
As he walked back into camp, Helfrich raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head.
“Looks like that went well,” Helfrich said, handing him two plates of food.
Finn grunted. “Make sure the men leave him alone. If there are any issues, come get me.”
Finn turned and headed back to Cara's carriage. She was asleep when he entered. Putting the plates on the table, Finn removed his shoes and shirt and crawled under the covers. Cara shifted but didn't wake. Wrapping one arm around her, he breathed in her scent and closed his eyes, and wondered if any of the previous Twelve had experienced this much trouble.
He thought it highly unlikely.
Chapter 14
Cara awoke slowly, savoring the feeling of Finn's naked body against her back. He had one large muscular arm draped over her protectively, and his breath tickled her neck. By his breathing she knew he was still asleep, even though he held her as if he was ready to defend her at a moment's notice.
Over the past five days he had done everything in his power to silence her doubts and insecurities. Night and day he had stayed with her in the carriage. They had talked and kissed, and he had reassured her over and over that he wouldn't leave. Gently and patiently he had explored her body, and each time he took her in his arms and made love to her, the pain of Tahdaon's rejection lessened.
She had left the carriage only when necessary, avoiding the men as much as possible. But today they would reach Herron's estate, and she would have to overcome her reluctance of seeing Tahdaon if she was going to ride at the head of the caravan like she had planned.
Finn's arms tightened around her. He placed a trail of kisses down her neck and shoulder and whispered, “good morning.”
Somehow he always seemed to know what she needed, and she was learning how to read his body and moods as well. He groaned softly and his cock twitched and hardened as she rubbed against him.