“They’re in the lobby. We didn’t feel like we should all descend on you.”
“Why not?” Caasi asked, setting the pen aside. “I’m looking forward to meeting them.”
“Blake’s leaving, isn’t he?” Gina’s question came as a surprise.
Caasi nodded with forced calm. “Yes; he handed in his resignation not long ago.”
“I’m surprised.” Gina wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t think Blake would ever leave you.”
That was the crux of the problem—Caasi hadn’t thought so, either.
“Shall we go now?” Caasi wanted to divert the conversation from Blake.
“Sure,” Gina answered eagerly.
Riding the elevator down to the lobby, Gina announced, “All the invitations have been mailed. Everyone is impressed that the shower’s at the Empress. I’m still having problems believing it myself.”
“I’m glad to do it.” Caasi meant that.
“You’ll be there, won’t you? I know it’s in the middle of the day and everything, but you wouldn’t have to stay long and I’d really like everyone to meet you.”
Caasi hesitated. There was an important meeting scheduled with architects the afternoon of the shower, and if past experience was anything to go by, she could be held up for hours.
“I won’t make any promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”
“Great,” Gina enthused.
They met the others in the lobby, and the small party took the broad, winding stairs built against a mirrored wall to the second floor, where the Blue Room was situated.
“Oh.” Gina exclaimed with excitement. “It’s perfect, just perfect.”
Caasi stayed only a few minutes longer. She wanted to have some time to herself before she had to leave for a luncheon engagement that was scheduled with the Portland Chamber of Commerce; they would be discussing plans for a basketball players’ convention that winter.
Briefly Caasi explained that she’d ordered the flowers delivered Thursday morning and had asked the chef to provide a sketch of the cake.
“The cake,” Gina said happily, “is larger than the one for the wedding.”
Glancing at her wristwatch, Caasi groaned. “I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you Thursday afternoon.”
“Oh thanks, Caasi. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this.”
“To be honest, I’m having as much fun as you, doing it.”
Caasi took the elevator back to her office. As the huge doors glided open, Caasi stepped into the wide hallway—and nearly bumped into Blake.
His hands shot out to help her maintain her balance and their eyes clashed. “Are you all right?”
Caasi couldn’t take her eyes off him. For the first time in days there was a faint flicker of something more than polite disregard. Every angle of his jaw was lovingly familiar, and she longed to ease the lines of strain from his eyes and mouth.
“Caasi,” he said sharply.
Her eyes studied the floor, and she struggled to maintain the thin thread of her composure. “I’m fine.”
He released her slowly. “Will you have time this afternoon to go over the Wilson figures?”
“Yes, that shouldn’t be any problem. I’ll be back around two.”
“Fine,” he said in clipped tones. “I’ll send Harris into your office then.”
“Harris.” She repeated the name. She knew the man was replacing Blake, but she had yet to deal with him directly. “Yes.” Her voice faltered a bit. “That’ll be fine.”
Caasi stepped into her office and retrieved her purse. “I’m leaving now.”
Laurie looked up at her blankly. The luncheon wasn’t scheduled for another hour. “But Mr. Gains is due to see you in twenty minutes.”
“Send him in to Blake,” Caasi said curtly. “You know where to reach him.”
Caasi took the Mercedes, heading east down Sandy Boulevard until she located Broadway. She drove around for several fruitless minutes. It had to be around here somewhere. Finally she recalled seeing that small mom-and-pop grocery and knew she was headed in the right direction. For all her years in Portland, she’d been to Rocky Butte only once. With Blake, the night of his cousin’s wedding.
She parked her car in the same area Blake had. The scene was all the more magnificent during the day. The snow-capped mountain peaks of the Cascade Range and the flowing Columbia and Willamette Rivers could all be seen from there. Washington state was just on the other side of the Columbia River Gorge, and once powerful Mount Saint Helens was in full view. No wonder Blake loved it up here so much.
The park itself was a different matter. Someone had broken beer bottles against the steps, and Caasi avoided the sharp pieces of glass as she climbed the flights of hewn-rock stairs for the second time. Walking to the parapet, she studied the view again. Faint stirrings of love and appreciation for what lay before her brought an involuntary smile. Caasi, born and raised in Portland, Oregon, was unaware of her city’s charm and beauty. A shame, she mused dejectedly.
Caasi sauntered into the office a little after two, having decided to send Harris to the luncheon. Laurie glanced up at her nervously.
“Mr. Sherrill’s in your office.”
“Thanks, Laurie.” Her assistant’s tone told her Blake wasn’t in a mood to exchange pleasantries.
“Problems, Blake?” she quizzed, as she entered.
He swiveled and jammed his hands into his pockets. His gaze hardened. “Gains had the appointment with you. Where were you?”
“Out,” she snapped.
“You don’t give important people like Gains the brush-off like that. The banker was furious, and with good reason.”
Perfectly calm, Caasi sat at her desk and glared at him. “Do you presume to tell me how to run Crane Enterprises now? Criticizing my personal life isn’t enough?”
Blake clamped his mouth closed. “You’re in no mood to discuss this rationally.”
Caasi’s laugh was sarcastic and brittle. “This is getting better every minute,” she said, refusing to let him talk down to her. “Send Harry in with the Wilson figures, please.”
“The man’s name is Harris.” The contempt in Blake’s eyes was enough to make her cry. Maybe tears would dissolve the lump of loneliness within her. Maybe tears would take away the pain of what Blake was doing. But somehow Caasi doubted it.
Thursday afternoon, fifteen minutes before her scheduled meeting with the architects, Caasi took the elevator to the Blue Room, where Gina’s wedding shower was in progress.
She stood in the entry, watching the young woman open her gifts. The turnout was a good one, and Caasi recognized several people from Kathleen’s wedding.
The bouquets of blue and white flowers harmonized beautifully with the room’s décor. The chef had outdone himself with the huge sheet cake.
Gina saw Caasi just inside the doorway and gave a squeal of delight. The young bride-to-be hurried to proudly introduce Caasi to her friends.
Caasi’s appearance was only a token one, and she made her farewells, sorry to learn that she’d missed Anne. She would have enjoyed seeing Blake’s mother again.
Laurie smiled when Caasi returned to the office. “There was a Mrs. Sherrill here to see you. I told her you’d gone down to the Blue Room.”
Caasi smiled sadly. She’d just missed Anne again. But that was the way her life was headed. Always close, but never close enough.
She’d barely sat down at her desk when Blake slammed into her office, nearly taking her door off the hinges when he closed it.
“What was my mother doing here?” he demanded.
“Your mother was here because of Gina’s shower,” Caasi replied calmly.
“Gina’s wedding shower?” He was pacing the floor like a caged lion eager for the opportunity to escape and hunt the closest victim.
“Yes. It’s in the Blue Room.”
“My family can’t afford the Blue Room.”
“But I can. I’m doing this for Gina.”
 
; Blake froze, and his anger burned from every pore. “You did what?”
“I would have said something earlier if we’d been on better terms. Everything I do lately angers you. There are only a few days left until you’re free of me. Must you fight me at every turn?”
Blake marched to the far side of the office and raked his hand through his hair. “I want you to add up every cent that this fiasco has cost and take it out of my next paycheck.”
“What?” Caasi exploded, bolting out of her chair.
“You heard me. Every cent.”
Tears sprang from her eyes, blinding her. She lowered her gaze so Blake wouldn’t notice.
“Why?” she asked, amazed that her voice could remain so steady when she felt as though the world was crumbling apart beneath her.
“I told you before that you couldn’t buy yourself a family. Least of all mine.”
“Yes, of course.” She swallowed at the painful hoarseness in her throat. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
She left the office and nearly walked into Laurie. “Conference Room A is ready for—” Laurie stopped sharply. “Miss Crane, are you all right? Do you need a doctor?” The woman looked flabbergasted to see Caasi in tears. Hurriedly she supplied Caasi with a tissue.
“Cancel the meeting, Laurie.” Her voice trembling, Caasi fought down a sob. “Please extend my sincere apologies.” With as much self-possession as she could muster, Caasi walked out of the office.
Blake came up behind her. “Caasi.” Her name was issued grimly.
She ignored him and stepped into the elevator. When she turned around, their eyes met. The tall, lean figure swam in and out of her vision.
“You have so much, Blake. Is it that difficult to share just this little bit with me?” The huge metal doors swished shut and Caasi broke into sobs that heaved her shoulders and shook her whole body.
Six
Caasi leaned against the penthouse door, her shoulders shaking. If this horrible ache was part of being a woman, she wanted none of it. Ink in her veins was preferable to the pain in her heart. But it was too late, and Caasi recognized that.
With her arms hugging her stomach, she tilted her face to the ceiling to keep the tears from spilling. She was tired. The weariness came from deep within.
Blake was leaving; why shouldn’t she? She hadn’t been on a real vacation in years, not since she took over Crane Enterprises.
Wiping the moisture from her cheeks, she took a quivering breath and stood at her favorite place by the window. She’d be fine. All she needed was a few days away to gain perspective.
Her leather luggage was stored in the spare bedroom. Caasi wasn’t exactly sure where she’d go. It would be fun just to drive down the coast. Oregon had some of the most beautiful coastline in the world.
The soft knock on the door surprised her. Probably Laurie. The secretary had been shocked to see Caasi cry … and little wonder. Caasi wasn’t the weeping-female type.
“Yes,” Caasi called softly, striving to sound composed and confident. “Come in.”
When Blake strolled into the living room, Caasi felt ice form in the pit of her stomach. “These are my private quarters,” she told him in a voice that was dipped in acid. “I don’t know who or what has given you the impression that you may come up here, but that has got to change. Now get out before I call Security.” She marched out of the room and into her bedroom, carelessly tossing her clothes into the suitcase.
“Caasi, listen.” There was an unfamiliar pleading quality to his voice as he followed her. “Let me apologize.”
“Okay,” she said, without looking up. “You’re sorry. Now leave.”
“What are you doing?” His eyes followed her as she moved from the closet to the suitcase, then back to the closet.
“That’s none of your business.”
“If you’re going someplace, I need to know.”
“I’ll leave the details of my trip with Laurie.” She didn’t look at him; she was having enough trouble just keeping her composure intact.
“Isn’t this trip a bit sudden?”
“Since when do you have the authority to question me?” She whirled around, placing her hands challengingly on her hips.
“Since you started acting like an irrational female,” he returned sarcastically.
“Me?” Caasi exploded. “Of all the nerve!” She stormed across the room and picked up the phone. “Security, please.”
“I’m not leaving,” Blake threatened. “Call out the National Guard, but I’m not leaving until we understand each other.”
“Understand?” Caasi cried. “What’s there to understand? I’m the boss, you’re the employee. Now get out.”
“No.”
“Yes.” Caasi spoke into the receiver. “This is Miss Crane. I’m having a problem here. Could you send up Security?” She hung up the phone and tossed Blake a hard look. “Oh, before I forget,” she said, and gave him a saccharine smile, “be sure and have Accounting give you an employee discount on the Blue Room.” She slammed the lid of her suitcase closed and dragged it off the top of the bed.
Taking a smaller case, she entered the master bathroom and impatiently stuffed a brush, a comb, shampoo, a hair dryer, and an entire cupboard of cosmetics into it. When she whirled around, Blake was blocking the doorway.
“Will you kindly step out of the way?”
“Not until we talk.”
Giving the impression of boredom, Caasi crossed her arms and glared at him. “All right, you win. Say what you want to say and be done with it.”
Blake looked surprised but determined. He paused and ran his hand over his jaw.
“What’s the matter, has the cat got your tongue?” she taunted unfairly.
Confusion flickered across his brow. “There’s something about you, Caasi, that makes me say and do things I know are going to hurt you. Yet I do them.”
“This is supposed to be an apology?” She faked a yawn.
Blake’s thick brows drew together in a pained, confused expression. Caasi doubted that her feigned indifference could create a fissure in the hard wall of his defenses.
The phone rang, diverting her attention to the other room.
“If you’ll excuse me.”
“No, not now.” His arm across the door prevented her from leaving.
“Blake.” She groaned in frustration. “This is ridiculous. Look at you. Will you kindly move so I can answer the phone?”
He didn’t budge.
“Please,” she added.
Blake dropped his hand and turned his back to her. As she hurried past him, Caasi noted fleetingly that he looked as weary and defeated as she felt.
“Hello,” she answered on the fourth ring, her voice slightly breathless.
“Caasi?” The male voice on the other end was only faintly recognizable.
“Burt?” Caasi felt all the blood drain from her face.
“It’s June. She’s in labor. She said I should phone you now.”
“Now?” Caasi repeated with a sense of unreality. “Isn’t this early?”
“Only ten days. The doctor assured us it wasn’t anything to worry about. I’m at the hospital; the nurse is checking June and said she’d prefer I stepped out for a few minutes.” Burt sounded worried and unsure.
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” Caasi’s heart was singing with excitement as she replaced the telephone receiver.
“Who was it?”
Caasi had forgotten Blake was there. “Burt. June’s in labor.” She grabbed her purse from the end of the bed and hurried out of the suite. A security man met her just outside the door.
“You wanted me, Miss Crane?”
“Yes,” she shouted, and shot past him to the elevator. “I mean no, everything’s been taken care of. I’m sorry to have troubled you.”
“No trouble, miss.” He touched the brim of his hat with his index finger.
“Caasi,” Blake called, as he followed her out of the suite. “I’ll meet wit
h the architects and we can talk about it in the morning.”
“Fine.” She’d have agreed to anything as long as it didn’t delay her.
The car engine roared to life when she turned the key. Caasi wondered if June was experiencing this same kind of exhilarated excitement. Burt and June wanted this baby so much and had planned carefully for it. For her, Caasi corrected her thoughts. June’s deepest desire was for a little girl.
The visitors’ parking lot was full, and Caasi spent several frustrating minutes until she found a space on the street. On her visit the previous Friday, she had learned that once Burt phoned she was to go directly to the labor room on the third floor. Stepping off the elevator, her shoes clapped against the polished, squeaky-clean floor.
“I’m Caasi Crane,” she announced at the nurses’ station. “Can you tell me which labor room Mrs. Kauffman is in?”
The uniformed nurse with white hair and a wide smile glanced at the chart. “Number 304. I believe her husband is with her.”
“Thanks,” Caasi said with a smile.
The room was the second one on the left side of the hall. The door was closed, so Caasi knocked lightly.
Burt opened it for her, looking pale and worried.
“Is anything wrong?” Caasi asked anxiously.
“No, everything’s fine, or so I’ve been assured.” He ran his hand through his hair. “June’s doing great.”
Caasi smiled. “How come you look like you’re the one in labor?”
“I don’t know, Caasi, I can hardly stand to see June in pain like this.”
“Caasi?” June looked flushed against the white sheets. “Is that you?”
“I’m here.”
“I suppose I got you out of some important meeting.”
“Nothing I wasn’t glad to escape from,” Caasi assured her, and pulled up a chair so she could sit beside the bed. “I’ve read that babies aren’t particularly known for their sense of timing.”
June laughed weakly. “At least not this one. The pains woke me up this morning, but I wasn’t really sure this was the real thing. I didn’t want to trouble you if it wasn’t.”
Burt came around to the other side of the bed and took his wife’s hand in both of his. “How do you feel?” His eyes were filled with such tenderness that it hurt Caasi to look at him. Would any man ever look at her like? The only thing she’d seen in Blake’s eyes lately was disdain.