“I’ve already booked my flight. My plane leaves in the afternoon.” She didn’t wait for her father to disagree with her, to tell her what a terrible mistake she was making. Instead she hurried into the house and up the stairs, not stopping until she was inside her room, with the door firmly closed.
She hauled her suitcase from the closet. There wasn’t much to pack, and the entire process took her all of five minutes. She didn’t weep. Her tears had already been spent.
When she returned to Texas, she’d be more mindful of love. It had touched her life once; perhaps it would again. In time. When her heart had healed. When she was ready.
With that thought in mind, she reached for the phone on the nightstand and held it in her lap, staring sightlessly at the keys. After an endless moment, she tapped out the long-distance number.
“Hello.” The deep male voice sounded hurried and impatient.
“Hello, Rowdy,” she said quietly.
“Valerie.” He seemed delighted to be hearing from her. “I’m glad you phoned. I tried to reach you earlier in the day, but your sister told me you were out. Did she mention my call?”
“No. Was it something important?” Norah must have been the one who answered, since Steffie was out most of the day. Romantic Norah, who so badly wanted Valerie to marry Colby and live happily ever after.
“It wasn’t urgent. I just wanted to see how soon CHIPS could have you back. There’s been a big hole here since you left.”
“I realize my being gone has been an inconvenience—”
“Don’t be silly. I wasn’t referring to the workload, I was talking about you. Like I told you before, I got used to having you around,” he said gruffly, as though he was uncomfortable saying such things. “Doesn’t seem right with you not here. You’re an important part of my team. That’s how come I’m giving you a ten percent raise—just so you’ll know how much you’re appreciated.”
Valerie gasped. “That isn’t necessary.”
“Sure it is. Now, when are you flying home?”
Home. Home wasn’t in Texas, it never really had been, but Rowdy wouldn’t understand that.
“Valerie?”
“Oh, sorry. That was actually the reason for my call. I’ve booked my flight for tomorrow. I’ll arrive early in the evening and be at the office Monday morning.” She forced some enthusiasm into her words.
“That’s great news! It’s just what I was hoping to hear. We’ll celebrate. How about if I pick you up at the airport and take you to dinner?”
The invitation surprised her, although she supposed it shouldn’t have. “Ah…” She didn’t know what to say. She’d already promised herself she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life pining away for Colby Winston. Yet when the opportunity arose to put the past firmly behind her and begin a new life, she hesitated.
“I don’t think so,” she told him regretfully. “Not just yet. I’m going to need some time to readjust after being away for so long.” It had been less than three weeks, but it felt like a whole lifetime.
“You’ve been gone too long,” Rowdy said, his voice low and resonant. “I’ve missed you, Valerie. I haven’t made a secret of it, either. When you get back, I’d like the two of us to sit down and talk.”
Sudden dread attacked her stomach, her nerves. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “I—I don’t know if that’d be a good idea, Rowdy. I don’t mean to be—”
“I know what you’re thinking,” Rowdy cut in. “And I have to admit, I share your concern. An office romance can lead to problems. That’s why I want us to talk. Clear the air before we get involved.”
It obviously hadn’t occurred to Rowdy that she might not be interested. But only a little while ago, the prospect of a relationship with him would have filled her with excitement.
Colby had hardly ever spent a more uncomfortable night. He hadn’t been able to sleep and, finally giving up, had gone downstairs to read. Another hour ticked slowly by, and still his mind refused to relax. Feeling even more disgruntled, he set the novel aside.
It would have helped if Sherry had kept her dinner date, but she’d cancelled. Not only that, she’d let him know she didn’t want to see him again. She was right to have done it, too—a fact that didn’t improve his disposition.
When it came to his relationships with women, Colby just wasn’t getting anywhere. Okay, so he was behind schedule. He’d underestimated the difficulty of finding the type of wife he wanted.
His requirements were very specific, which was why he’d intended to conduct his search in a methodical, orderly manner. It wasn’t as though he’d discovered any shortage of “old-fashioned” girls, either. Unfortunately, most of them didn’t appeal to him.
This only served to confuse him further. Obviously there was a flaw in his plan. Of one thing he was certain—Sherry was out of the picture. For that matter, so was Valerie.
Valerie.
Her name seemed to be engraved on his mind, but by sheer force of will, he turned his thoughts in another direction. He got up and moved into his den to print out the article he’d been working on earlier that day. Although he’d shrugged off its importance when he spoke to Valerie, he was well aware that the invitation to submit it was a real honor. He’d done exhaustive research, and every word he’d written had been carefully considered.
But right then and there, Colby realized it meant nothing. Nothing. With an angry burst of energy, he crumpled the sheets and tossed them in his wastebasket.
Colby rarely acted in anger. Rarely did he allow himself to display any emotion. He’d schooled himself well; he’d needed to. He dealt with death so often, with fear, with grief. It became crucial, a matter of emotional survival, to keep his own feelings strictly private. Over the years, that had become second nature. For the first time in recent memory, he deplored his inexperience at expressing emotion.
He had no trouble recognizing that his inability to sleep, his lack of interest in a good novel, his discontent with the article he was writing, were all caused by what had happened between him and Valerie that morning.
He’d done what he had to do. It hadn’t been easy—for either of them—but it was necessary. She’d made him angry with her demand that he be cruel. She wouldn’t accept anything less. By the time she left, he’d been furious. She’d prodded and pushed and shoved until, backed into a corner, he’d had no choice.
Every harsh word he’d spoken had boomeranged back to hit him. She’d insisted repeatedly that he tell her to get out of his life. And he’d done it….
It was over, which was exactly what he wanted. Valerie would go back to Texas and he’d continue living here in Orchard Valley.
Her sad gray eyes would haunt him. And it had taken all afternoon to forget the feel of her fingertips as they grazed his face.
His intention had been to send her away, hurt her if he had to, so the break would be final. He hadn’t grasped how much that would cost him.
Twenty hours later, he was still angry. Still in pain.
Walking back into his living room at 2:00 a.m., Colby sank into the recliner and reached for the television remote control. Surely there’d be some movie playing that would hold his attention for an hour or two.
He was wrong. All he could find—other than infomercials and vapid talk shows—was a 1950s love story, filmed in nostalgic black and white. The last thing Colby was in the mood to watch was a sentimental romance with a happy ending. He turned off the television and stood up.
He hadn’t been out to the Bloomfields’ in three days. Although David was home and they’d scheduled an appointment at the office early in the week, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stop by and see how the older man was recovering. They were friends, and it was the least Colby could do—for the sake of a longstanding friendship.
That decision made, he found himself yawning loudly. Fatigue greeted him like an old comrade, and in that moment Colby knew he’d be able to sleep.
Valerie was dressed, her suitcase packe
d. She’d lingered in her room far longer than necessary. Her flight wasn’t until 1:00 p.m.—not for another four hours—so she had plenty of time, yet she felt an intense need to be on her way. But there was another feeling that ran even deeper, even stronger: she dreaded leaving.
“Valerie?”
She turned to see Steffie standing in her bedroom doorway, frowning as she glanced at the suitcase. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”
Valerie gave her a wide and completely artificial smile. “I’m positive.”
“How can you smile?”
“It’s such a beautiful morning, how could I possibly not smile? Dad’s home and thriving, you’re here, and Norah’s in seventh heaven because she’s got someone to cook for.”
Steffie grinned. “Yeah, I know. But I can’t help feeling you shouldn’t go.”
“My life’s in Texas now.”
Steffie wandered into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “If you’re running away, it’s a mistake. I made the same one myself three years ago. I embarrassed myself in front of Charles Tomaselli, and then because I was so mortified and because I couldn’t bear to face him, I decided to study in Europe.”
“You had a wonderful opportunity to travel. Do you honestly regret it?”
“Yes. Oh, not the travel and the experience. But leaving was wrong. I didn’t realize it then, but I do now. I went into hiding. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it’s the truth. At the time it seemed like the only thing to do, but I understand now that I should have swallowed my pride instead of walking away from everything I loved.”
“Sometimes we don’t have any choice.”
“And sometimes we do,” Steffie said. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t run away, because at some point down the road, you’re going to regret it, just like I did.”
Her sister’s eyes were intent, silently pleading with Valerie to reconsider. If she hadn’t gone to Colby the day before, Valerie might have hesitated, but there was no reason now for her to stay. There was no reason to hope Colby would change his mind.
“Someone’s coming,” Steffie said, walking over to look out Valerie’s bedroom window.
Valerie moved aside the white curtains and peered outside. Steffie was right. A maroon car was making its way down the long driveway.
Colby.
A surge of excitement shot through her. He’d come to tell her he’d changed his mind, to ask her not to leave. Only seconds before, she’d been so sure there was no hope and now it flowed through her like current into an electrical wire. Try as she might, she couldn’t squelch it.
“It—it’s Colby,” Valerie said, when she found her voice.
Steffie gave a cry of sheer joy. “I knew it! I knew he wouldn’t be able to let you go. Everyone knows how he feels about you, how you feel about him. He’d be a fool if he let you go back to Texas.”
“He didn’t know I was leaving today,” Valerie said calmly, although he must have figured it out for himself. He must’ve recognized that she wouldn’t stay in Orchard Valley any longer than necessary.
“I’ll find out what he wants,” Steffie said, her voice high and excited. “Let’s play this cool, okay? You stay up here and when he asks for you, I’ll casually come and get you.”
“Steffie…”
“Valerie, for heaven’s sake, be romantic for once in your life.”
“There could be plenty of other reasons Colby’s here.”
“Are you going to make him suffer, or are you going to forgive him right away? Personally, I think he should suffer…but only a little.”
The doorbell chimed and Steffie hurried downstairs without another word.
Valerie couldn’t keep her heart from racing, but she refused to play this silly game of wait-and-see. She reached for her suitcase and started resolutely down the stairs, the way she’d originally intended.
She was on the top step when she heard Colby ask to see her father. Her father—not her. If it hadn’t hurt so much, Valerie would have laughed at Steffie, who looked completely stunned. Her sister stared at Colby, her mouth open, hand frozen on the door, blocking his entrance.
“My father,” Steffie repeated after a shocked moment. “You’re here to see Dad?”
“He is my patient.”
“I know, but…”
Some slight sound must have alerted Colby that Valerie was standing at the top of the stairs. His gaze rose and linked with hers before slowly lowering to the suitcase in her hand. Valerie detected a frown, as though he’d been caught by surprise.
“Valerie’s leaving for the airport this morning,” Steffie announced in a loud, urgent voice, implying that Colby had better do something fast.
What Steffie hadn’t grasped was that Colby didn’t want to do anything—other than bid her a relieved farewell.
“You should tell Dad that Dr. Winston’s here,” Valerie said mildly. “He’s probably in the kitchen.”
Steffie left, and Valerie gradually descended the stairs.
“Looks like you’re packed up and ready to go,” he said in a conversational tone.
She nodded. “My flight leaves at one.”
“So soon?”
“Not soon enough, though, is it, Colby?”
He ignored the question, and Valerie regretted the pettiness that had prompted her to ask. He stood before her, his expression unreadable. She was grateful when her father appeared. Grateful because she wasn’t nearly as expert at hiding her feelings as Colby. She was afraid he could read much more of her emotional turmoil than she wanted him to.
“Colby, my boy, good to see you. You’ve been making yourself scarce the last few days.” David steered Colby into the kitchen, then glanced back at Valerie, scowling at the suitcase in her hand. “You’ve got plenty of time, Val. Come and have a cup of coffee before you leave.”
For her father’s sake, she resisted the temptation to argue. Shrugging, she set her luggage aside and dutifully followed Colby and David into the large family kitchen.
The two men sat at the table while Norah served them coffee. Valerie didn’t sit with the others, but pulled out a stool in front of the counter and perched on that.
“I thought I’d check in and see how you were feeling,” Colby was saying.
“Never felt better,” her father said in response.
Valerie noticed how Colby avoided looking in her direction. He was uncomfortable with her; his back was stiff, his shoulders rigid with tension. Perhaps he’d expected her to have left by now.
Valerie sipped her coffee and briefly closed her eyes, wanting to savor these last few moments with her family. Norah, an apron tied around her waist, was busy pulling hot cinnamon rolls out of the oven. Homemade ones, from the recipe their mother had used through the years. The scent of yeast and spice filled the kitchen, and it was like stepping back in time. Their kitchen had always been where everyone gathered, a place of warmth and laughter and confidences shared.
Steffie couldn’t seem to stand still. She paced to one side of the room, then crossed to the other, as though debating her next course of action.
Valerie found it endearing that her sister cared so much about what happened between her and Colby, especially when Steffie’s own romance was so problematic. Valerie sensed that things weren’t going well between her sister and Charles Tomaselli, but she wasn’t in any position to be offering advice.
Steffie paused, her eyes pleading with Valerie. She seemed to be begging her to stay in Orchard Valley. To listen to her heart…
After a moment Valerie couldn’t meet her sister’s gaze and purposely looked away.
Conversation floated past her, but she wasn’t aware of what was being said or who was saying it. The sudden need to leave was too powerful to ignore. If she didn’t do it soon, she might never be able to. Slipping down from the stool, she deposited her mug, still half full of coffee, in the sink.
“The rolls will be ready to eat any minute,” Norah said, looking at her anxious
ly. She, too, seemed to want Valerie to stay.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pick up something at the airport later.”
“Are you going?” her father asked, as if this was news to him. “You’ve still got lots of time.”
Valerie gave the first excuse that came to mind. “I’ve got to get the rental car back to the agency.”
“You’re sure you want to go?” Steffie asked forlornly, moving toward her sister.
“I’m sure,” Valerie answered in a soft voice, throwing her arms around Steffie in an affectionate hug. “It isn’t like I’ll never be back, you know?”
“Don’t let it take you three years, the way it did me,” Steffie whispered into Valerie’s ear. “I just can’t help thinking you’re making a mistake.”
“What I’m doing is for the best,” Valerie said.
Norah stood behind Steffie, waiting her turn to be hugged, her pretty blue eyes as sad as Steffie’s. “I can’t believe you’re really going. I loved having you home.”
“It’s been good, hasn’t it, Dad?” Valerie said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. “I’d like to suggest another family reunion, only next time let’s plan things a bit differently. If I’m going to take three weeks away from CHIPS, I’d prefer to see more than a hospital waiting room.”
David Bloomfield stood, his gaze holding Valerie’s. He seemed to be asking her to remain a little longer, but she firmly shook her head. Every minute was torture.
She dared not look in Colby’s direction. That made it easier to pretend he wasn’t there.
“I have a great idea for a family reunion,” Steffie said eagerly. “Why don’t we all take a trip to Egypt? I’ve always wanted to ride a camel and see the pyramids.”
“Egypt?” Norah echoed. “What’s wrong with a camping trip? We used to do that years ago, and it was fun. I remember us sitting around the campfire singing and toasting marshmallows.”
“Camping!” Steffie cried. “You can’t be serious. I remember mosquitoes the size of Alabama.”