“But we had fun,” Norah reminded them.
“Maybe you did, but count me out,” Valerie said, laughing quickly. “My idea of roughing it is going without room service.” She glanced from one sister to the other, loving them both so much she thought she’d start to cry. Blinking rapidly, she stepped forward and flung her arms around her father’s neck.
“Take care of yourself,” she whispered.
“The dream,” he returned, his eyes bright and intense. “I was so sure….”
Valerie didn’t need to be reminded of her father’s dream. “Maybe someday it’ll happen.” But she didn’t believe it, any more than she believed the dead could come back to life.
“You’re going to say goodbye to Colby, aren’t you?” her father urged.
She’d been hoping to avoid it. But she realized it would be impossible to leave without saying something to Colby, who was her father’s doctor, her father’s guest. David released her and she saw that Colby was on his feet and moving toward her. Her pride would’ve been salvaged, at least a little, if he’d revealed even a hint of sadness. But from all outward appearances she was nothing more to him than a passing acquaintance. It was as if he’d never held her in his arms, never kissed her.
“Goodbye, Colby,” she said as cheerfully as she could. “Thank you for everything you did for Dad—for all of us. You were…wonderful.” She extended her hand, which he took in his own. His fingers tightened on hers, his grip almost painful.
“Goodbye, Valerie,” he said after a moment. As before, it was impossible to read his expression. “Have a safe trip.”
She nodded and turned away, afraid that if she didn’t leave soon, she’d do something utterly stupid, like burst into tears.
Everyone followed her to the front porch. Eager to get away now, Valerie hurried down the steps. Not bothering to open the trunk, she set her suitcase on the backseat.
“Phone once in a while, would you?” Steffie called.
Valerie nodded. “Take care of Dad, you two.”
“Bye, Val.” Norah pressed her fingers to her lips and blew her a kiss.
Rather than endure another round of farewells, Valerie slid into the driver’s seat and closed the door. She didn’t look at the porch for fear her eyes would meet Colby’s.
Escaping was what mattered. Fleeing before she made a fool of herself a second time over a man who didn’t want her.
She started the car, raised her hand in a brisk wave and pulled away. The tightness in her chest was so painful it was almost unbearable. For a moment she didn’t know if she’d be able to continue. The thought that she needed a doctor was what dispersed the horrible pain. It broke free on a bubble of hysterical laughter.
She needed a doctor, all right, a heart doctor. With the sound of her amusement still echoing in her ears, Valerie looked back one last time, her gaze seeking Colby’s.
Hard as it was, she managed a slow smile, a smile of gratitude for what they’d shared.
She drove away then and didn’t glance back.
Not even once.
Ten
For long minutes, no one said a word. Colby stood frozen on the Bloomfield porch, his eyes following Valerie’s rental car as it sped down the driveway. His hands knotted into tight fists at his sides, and his chest throbbed with suppressed emotion.
The timing of this visit couldn’t have been worse. He’d had no idea Valerie was leaving that morning, and like a fool he’d stumbled upon the scene. He cursed himself for not calling first.
He wasn’t sure what he’d been thinking when he’d decided to come here. No, that wasn’t true. Visiting David had been an excuse. He’d come to see Valerie. He’d hoped, perhaps, to find a private moment to talk to her. But for the life of him, he didn’t know what he’d intended to say. He certainly hadn’t changed his mind, hadn’t planned to sweep everything under the proverbial rug and pretend that love would conquer all. He’d leave that kind of idealism to the world’s romantics. He wasn’t one of them; he was a physician and he dealt with reality. He had no intention of deluding himself into believing he and Valerie had a chance together, even if she did entertain thoughts like that herself.
“I can’t believe this,” Stephanie cried, glaring at Colby. Tears swam in her eyes. He’d always considered weeping females cause for alarm; he never knew what to say to them.
But there’d been that time with Valerie, the night of David’s surgery, Colby reminded himself. She’d been sobbing out her grief and fear. With anyone else he would’ve sought another family member to offer the needed consolation. But he hadn’t looked for Norah that night. Instead he’d gone to Valerie himself. He’d felt his own terrible loss. He couldn’t hold out hope for her father’s recovery, not when everything indicated that David probably wouldn’t survive the night. And so he’d sat on the concrete bench beside her and placed his arm around her shoulders.
Valerie had turned to him, and buried her face against him. The surge of love he’d experienced in that moment was unlike anything he’d ever felt. Stroking her hair, he’d savored the feel of her in his arms.
“She’ll be back,” David said, interrupting Colby’s memories.
“No,” Stephanie argued in a trembling voice. “She won’t. Not for a long time.”
“Valerie’s not like that,” Norah said. “She’ll visit again. Soon.”
“Why should she, when everything she equates with home means pain? It’s too easy to stay away, too easy to make excuses and be satisfied with a phone call now and then.” Suspecting that David’s second daughter was speaking from experience, Colby studied her.
She must have felt his scrutiny because she turned suddenly, undisguised anger blazing from her eyes.
“You might be a wonderful surgeon,” she said, her gaze as hard as flint, “but you’re one of the biggest idiots I’ve ever met.”
Colby blinked in surprise, but before he could respond, Stephanie ran back inside the house. Shocked by the verbal attack, he looked at Norah. They’d worked together for a number of months and he’d always been fond of her.
“I couldn’t agree with my sister more,” Norah said with an uncharacteristic display of temper. “You are an idiot.” Having said that, she stormed into the house as well.
David chuckled, and Colby relaxed. At least one member of this family could appreciate the wisdom of his sacrifice. Stephanie and Norah acted as if he should be arrested. Both seemed to think it’d been easy for him to let Valerie drive away, although nothing was further from the truth. Even now he needed to grab hold of the railing to keep from racing after her.
If only she hadn’t turned at the last moment and looked straight at him. And smiled. The sweetest, most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. A smile that would haunt him to his grave.
“I love her,” Colby whispered, his eyes never leaving the driveway, although Valerie’s car was long out of sight. By now she was probably two miles down the road.
“I know,” David assured him.
Something in the older man’s tone made Colby glance at him. The inflection seemed to suggest that however much Colby might love Valerie, he didn’t love her enough. But he did! He loved her so much that he’d sent her out of his life. It seemed that no one, not even David Bloomfield, could appreciate the depth of his sacrifice.
“Rowdy Cassidy will be a much better husband for her than I ever would,” Colby said, steeling himself against the pain his own words produced.
“Maybe, but I doubt it,” David responded, walking over to his wicker rocking chair and lowering himself into it. “I don’t suppose you’ve noticed, but Valerie and I are a lot alike.”
Colby grinned. The similarity hadn’t exactly escaped him. Here were two people who each possessed a streak of stubbornness that was wider than the Mississippi. Both were intelligent, intuitive and ambitious. Hard-working. Single-minded.
“She’d never be happy living here in Orchard Valley,” Colby said, his gaze returning to the driveway. He couldn’t s
eem to make himself look away. It was as if that road was his only remaining connection to Valerie.
“You’re right, of course. Valerie would never be content in a small town again. Not after living in Houston.”
The reassurance should have eased the ache in his heart, but it didn’t. He told himself there was no reason to linger. Carrying on a polite conversation was beyond him, yet he didn’t seem to have the energy to leave.
“Did I ever tell you how I met Grace?”
“I believe you did.” Valerie must be three or four miles down the road by now, Colby estimated.
“Our courtship was a bit unusual. It isn’t every day a man woos a woman from a hospital bed.”
Colby nodded. Before long, Valerie would be close to the interstate, and then it would be impossible to catch her. Not that he was going to chase after her.
“Grace wasn’t keen on marrying me, for a number of reasons. All good ones, I might add. She loved me, that much I knew, but to her mind love wasn’t enough.”
David’s words diverted Colby’s attention from the road. He swiveled his gaze to the older man, who was rocking contentedly as though they were discussing something as mundane as the best bait for local trout.
“Grace was right. Sometimes love isn’t enough,” David added.
“In your case she was wrong,” Colby mumbled, displeased. For the first time he understood where this discussion was leading. Valerie’s father was going to force him to admit that he was as big an idiot as Stephanie and Norah had claimed. Though he might be a little more subtle about it.
“Not really. I knew I’d need to make some real changes before Grace would agree to marry me, but I was willing to make them because I knew something she didn’t.”
“What was that?”
A wistful look came over David, and his eyes grew hazy. “Deep in my soul, I knew I’d never love another woman the way I loved Grace. Deep in my soul, I recognized that she was the one chance I had in this life for real happiness. I could’ve done the noble thing and let her marry some nice young man. There were plenty who would’ve thanked me for the opportunity.”
“I see.”
“I have to tell you, though, it was the most difficult decision of my life. Marrying Grace was the biggest risk I ever took, but I never regretted it. Not once.”
Colby nodded. David was telling him exactly what he wanted to hear. He, too, had made his decision; he’d set Valerie free to find what happiness she could. Rowdy Cassidy was waiting in the wings, eager to step into his place. Eager to help her forget.
Colby’s mind flashed to Sherry Waterman. He liked her and enjoyed her company. He felt the same about Norah. But it was Valerie who set his heart on fire. Valerie who challenged him. Valerie whom he needed. Not anyone else, only Valerie.
“Don’t you worry about her,” David continued. “She’ll be fine. In a while, she’ll regroup and be a better person for having experienced love, even for such a short time. As for marrying Rowdy Cassidy, I don’t think you need to concern yourself with that, either.”
“Why not?”
“Because I know my daughter. I know exactly what I would’ve done had Grace decided against marrying me. I’d have gone back to my world, worked hard and made a decent life for myself. But I would never have fallen in love again. I wouldn’t have allowed it to happen.”
Colby didn’t say anything. By now, Valerie was on the interstate. It was too late. Even if he did go after her, they wouldn’t be able to stop. Not on the freeway with cars screaming past. It would be reckless and dangerous and beyond all stupidity to chase her now. Besides, what could he possibly have to say that hadn’t already been said?
David stood. “You want another cup of coffee?”
“No, thanks. I should be on my way.”
“I’ll be in your office bright and early Tuesday morning, then.”
Colby nodded. It was time to get back to his life, the life he’d had before he met Valerie Bloomfield.
Valerie refused to cry. She’d never been prone to tears and, except for a few occasions, had usually managed to fend them off. Even as a child, she’d hated crying, hated the way the salty tears had felt on her face.
What astonished her was how much it hurt to hold everything inside. It felt as though someone had crammed a fist down her throat and expected her to breathe normally.
In an effort to push aside the pain of leaving Colby, she focused her thoughts on all the good he’d brought into her life. Without him, she would have lost her father. Norah had told her as much that first evening. Colby was the one who’d convinced her father to go to the hospital. Colby was the one who’d performed the life-saving surgery.
If for nothing else, she owed him more for that than anyone could possibly repay.
But that wasn’t all he’d given her. Dr. Colby Winston had taught her about herself, about love, about sacrifice.
She would always love him for that. Now she had to teach herself to release him, to let him go. Finding love and then freely relinquishing it might well prove to be a tricky business. She’d never given her heart to a man before. Loving Colby was the easy part. It felt as though she’d always known and loved him, as if he’d always been part of her life. It seemed impossible that they’d met only a few weeks ago.
Leaving him was the hardest thing she’d ever done.
The self-doubts, the what-ifs and might-have-beens rolled in like giant waves, swamping her with grief and dread.
Dragging in a deep breath, she fought the urge to turn the car around and head back. Back to Orchard Valley. Back home.
Back to Colby.
Instead, she exhaled, tried to relax, tried to tell herself that everything would feel much better once she got to Texas. She’d be able to submerge the pain in her job. When she resumed her position with CHIPS, she could begin to forget Colby and at the same time treasure her memories of him.
Valerie didn’t realize there were tears in her eyes until she noticed how blurry the road in front of her had become. Hoping to distract herself, she turned on the radio and started humming along with a country-western singer lamenting her lost love.
“Stop it,” Valerie muttered to herself, weeping harder than ever. Irritably, she snapped off the radio, then swiped at the tears with the back of one hand, reminding herself she was too strong, too independent, for such weak emotional behavior.
Not until she was changing lanes on the freeway did she see the Buick behind her. A maroon sedan, traveling at high speed, passing cars, going well over the limit.
Colby? It couldn’t be.
More than likely it was just a car that looked like his. It couldn’t be him. He’d never come after her. That wasn’t his style. No, if he ever had a change of heart, something she didn’t count on, it wouldn’t be for weeks, months. Colby wasn’t impulsive.
The Buick slowed down and moved directly behind Valerie’s car and followed her for a moment before putting on the turn signal. If it hadn’t been for the tears in her eyes she would’ve been able to make out the driver’s features.
The car honked. It had to be Colby. He didn’t expect her to stop on the freeway, did he? It wouldn’t be safe. There was an exit ramp only a few miles down the road and she drove toward that, turned off when she could and parked. Luckily traffic was light, and the shoulders on both sides of the road were wide enough for her to park safely. When she did, Colby pulled in behind her.
She’d barely had time to unfasten her seat belt before he jerked open her door.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.
“What does it look like? I’m chasing after you.”
Legs trembling, she climbed out of her car and stood leaning against it, hands on her hips. “This better be good, Winston. I’ve got a plane to catch.”
“You’ve been crying.”
“There’s something in my eye.”
“Both eyes apparently.”
“All right, both eyes.” She didn’t know what silly game h
e thought he was playing, but she didn’t have the patience for it. “Why are you here? Surely there’s a reason you came racing after me.”
“There’s a reason.”
“Good.” She crossed her arms and shifted her position. Whatever Colby wanted to say was obviously causing him trouble, because he started pacing in front of her, hands clenched.
“This is even harder than I expected,” he finally admitted.
Not daring to hope, Valerie said nothing.
“I can’t believe what a mess I’ve made of this. Listen.” He turned to face her, his expression as closed as always. “I want you to come back to Orchard Valley.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you and because I’d like us to talk this through. You love me, too, Valerie. I don’t think I realized how much until just now. It must’ve been so hard to come to me, to lay your heart out like that and then have me send you away. I—”
“You don’t need to apologize,” she broke in.
“I do.”
Valerie had no idea, not the slightest, where all this was leading. She took a shaky breath. “All right, you’ve apologized.”
“Will you come back?”
“If you want to talk, we can do it at the airport.” That seemed like a fair suggestion.
“I want to do more than talk,” he said. “I want you to show me how we’re going to make this marriage work, because darned if I know. We haven’t got one thing working in our favor. Not one.”
“Then why even try?”
“Because if you leave now I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. Sure as anything, I’m going to think back to this moment for the next fifty years and wish I’d never let you go. The problem is, I’m not sure what to do now—you’ve got me so tied up in knots I can’t think straight.”
“No wonder you don’t look happy.”
“You’re right, I’m not happy. I’m furious.”
Valerie grinned. “Love is rather frightening, isn’t it?”
Colby grinned, too, for the first time. “But you know something? It’s living without you, without your love, that frightens me.”