“Stay with Austin, boy,” Aaron’s deep voice said over the back of her neck, creating goosebumps in its path. Charlie’s tail wagged against her leg once more before she was pulled away with a gentle yet forceful tug on her hand. Her eyes swiveled up, her heart flying when she caught sight of the scar that indented Aaron’s chin. His jaw was clicked tight, his strides determined and long as he took her through the long grass and up the wooden stairs that led to the boathouse. The world blurred around her as Aaron swung the door open and tugged her inside. The thick, heavy click of the lock rippled up her spine and an unexpected shiver took over.
“I’m sorry,” he uttered in the darkness. The heat of his body sparked between them, and Kennedy’s back fell flush against the old wood of the boathouse. She felt his hands come up on either side of her head, her body blazing in a fiery torment that was the opposite of the chills she had been experiencing not three minutes ago out on the lake.
Her breath stopped, and her eyes adjusted to the dimness around them. Aaron’s jaw ticked, sending her stomach into a downward spiral.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled once more, stepping into her space, not touching, but his body a whisper away. Kennedy’s hands twitched at her sides, aching to run up his sculpted torso and feel his beating heart under her palm.
“Why?” she managed to ask, her voice small and timid. Aaron’s gaze locked on her, and his chest brushed against hers as he took a deep breath, sending a flurry of electrons across the small hairs on her arms.
“I’m sorry, because I know I shouldn’t….” His nutmeg and citrus scent washed over her, acting as a hallucinogen. Kennedy blinked against the forbidden thoughts entering her head and begged her body to stay back, her mind to pay attention.
“I shouldn’t want you like this,” he continued, his voice coming out harsher, faster. “But I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wanting to take you in my arms. I can’t stop watching your every move, wondering about every thought that runs through your mind, waiting for another moment when I get to touch you, even if it’s something small.” His eyes flicked slightly to the side, and the wooden wall creaked as he lifted his hand and pushed her hair behind her ear. She shivered under the careful and innocent touch, letting out a shaky breath.
“Like this,” he said, his thumb trailing down her jaw. Kennedy was sure her heart was about to short-circuit, the pace of it so fast and hard that she felt it in her pinky toes. Her mind was a chaotic mess, toggling back and forth between right and wrong and not knowing what was what anymore. Aaron dropped his hand, pressing it against the wall near her hip. Her fingers flexed, the desire to pick up that hand and move it to her body so strong that the muscles in her hand started to hurt when they didn’t obey the impulse.
Aaron dipped his head, the thick, soft strands of his dark hair brushing against her forehead as he shook it. “I barely know you,” he breathed. “So why does this feel so…right, when it should be wrong?”
The air around them zapped in the half second it took for Kennedy to slide her hand up his torso, her nails bumping over the buttons of his shirt. Her fingers curled into the material when she got to his frantic heart. The confusion in her mind was quieted by the overpowering need to be close to…not just anyone this time…but close to him. She wasn’t sure if it was because he knew so much of Jared, or the fact that she’d seen Jared in him even though they were so different, or if it had nothing to do with Jared and everything to do with Aaron and how natural it was to be around him, how comforted and safe she felt, how they could ease into light and heavy without a pause in thought. Whatever the reason, it boiled in her blood and ran electric through her nervous system that she needed—no, craved his body, his touch, his words, his lips, his mind, and everything in between.
One of his strong palms fell to the curve of her hip, bringing their belly buttons together. Her skin ran a few degrees hotter as her breasts crushed against the sculpted plane of his chest. Shivers ran all the way up her spine and into her hair as he grabbed the nape of her neck and drew her to his lips.
Something very close to a whimper escaped the back of her throat, and Aaron deepened the kiss, dipping his tongue into her mouth and stroking hers with a scorching, frantic need. Her body melted against his, her fingers tightening their hold on his shirt to keep her from falling straight through the floor. He was wiping away so many things, replacing her heartache with a sweet joy, just as the sun erases darkness when it breaks over the horizon. She had felt so alone, so empty and afraid that she’d never find true joy again. Jared had filled every part of their time together with happiness and laughter, and she believed that she would never feel even a speck of that for the rest of her days. Yet, there in Aaron’s arms, it was so close that it frightened her.
His hand skated over her ribs, leaving red-hot flames in its path, and he brought it to her face, cupping her jaw and weaving his fingers into her hair. He drank his fill of her, and Kennedy did her hardest to match his intensity, moving her body against his as the ache between her legs returned with a vengeance. She wanted him, no matter how painful the crash was afterward. The heavenly bliss he was so capable of giving to her was worth the inevitable guilt she’d feel later.
Forgive me, she thought, hoping that if Jared was somehow, somewhere nearby, he could read her mind. Forgive me, but I need him. I need him, please.
Aaron pulled on her bottom lip, and the heat rushed through her beating heart, through her veins, and pulsed in her lower belly. The air around her grew lighter, as if—even though they already were alone—someone had stepped out of the room, granting them complete privacy. Kennedy let out a grateful moan, sinking into the tingling sensations of Aaron’s hands and his mouth and his hard chest. She smoothed her hands around to his back, clutching at the muscles as they moved in waves under her palms. Her leg canted up and Aaron took the hint immediately, letting go of her face, his fingers hooking behind her knee. His thick, hard erection pressed against her inner thigh, making her rush with wet heat.
Dear Lord, she was going to combust in his hands.
Aaron broke from her lips, giving her a much-needed breath as he moved down her jaw and over her neck. She heaved her breasts upward, hoping he’d take this hint as well, but as soon as he dipped a tongue into her cleavage, a large thunk! sounded through the boathouse, and they jerked apart.
“What was that?” she whispered, her voice labored from their intense and hot make-out. Aaron held a hand up, covering her kiss-swollen lips with the tips of his rough, manly fingers.
It was quiet for a few more seconds, until another thunk! and a giggle permeated the silence. Aaron’s lips pursed together, and Kennedy bit away a laugh.
“Apparently we aren’t the only ones taking advantage of the darkness by the boathouse,” he said, his lust-filled eyes brightening with amusement. Kennedy fell into his warm chest, covering the giggles that were threatening to give them away.
“Come on, we better hurry,” Aaron said, running a hand down her back and then dropping it to her palm. He laced their fingers together, and if Kennedy weren’t already grinning, she would have certainly smiled wider than a clown.
Aaron, as quietly as he could, unlocked the door and led her outside and down the dock. Not a moment too soon, either, because as Kennedy took a quick glance over her shoulder, she noticed a couple of shadows moving around the corner of the boathouse, stumbling their way inside.
Aaron pulled her into the long grass, and when they were halfway back to the party tables, they stopped, looked up at each other, and shared a laugh that Kennedy could feel rise from deep within. She leaned into him, using him for support, but also wanting to indulge in the warmth he seemed to bring not only to every part of her body, but to the most shattered pieces of her already claimed heart.
“You want to head back?” he asked over the top of her head, a comforting hand running over her shoulder.
She shook her head against his shirt, tucking in to hide her face. Could she ask for
what she really wanted? Was it horrible of her to want it again so soon? With Aaron’s rambled admission that he was as drawn to her as she was to him, she felt a bit more confident, but it was still not something someone outright says. May I please have another orgasm? Thank you very much. No…she didn’t have the gall to say that, or anything close.
Also, she wasn’t quite sure that was all she wanted. It would be nice, of course, but what she really needed was intimacy. She wanted someone to hold her, touch her, to fill those pieces of her that were drowning in loneliness ever since Jared passed. She wanted to roll over and touch something warm and breathing. She wanted arms to hug her, lips to kiss her, a voice to calm her.
She wanted pillowtalk, and she wanted it with Aaron.
A chunk of her broken heart fell and pierced her. She nearly begged for forgiveness again, but she felt nothing there. No rustle of the wind, no sun to warm her face, no indication that Jared was there or ever had been. She pushed her face farther into the living, breathing man who, despite her fight, was slowly stealing away much more than just her body.
“Stay with me,” she said in a broken whisper. Aaron shifted underneath her, tapping a finger to her chin and coaxing her eyes up to meet his.
“What?” The way his honey eyes swirled and his pupils dilated told her he’d heard her request exactly, but the pull of his brow and the tightness of his jaw said he needed her to say it twice.
“Stay with me.” Her hand stirred in his. “I can’t wait another moment for you to touch me again.”
His jaw flexed, denting his scar. She reached up and ran a finger from just under his ear to his chin, and he caught her hand, weaving their fingers together. A long, hot breath released from his lips, washing over their joined hands and setting Kennedy’s skin ablaze.
“Let’s sneak around back,” he said, and Kennedy could not help but smile at another victory, even though they would both pay the consequences when their minds caught up to their bodies.
Chapter 15
Kennedy
“I think…I think I need a minute.”
Kennedy’s breath came out ragged, her voice a stuttering mess as Aaron kissed her senseless in the light of her room at the B&B. He pulled back, eyes laced with lustful confusion, understandably so. It was Kennedy who’d grabbed hold of him the moment she turned the lock, knowing that conversation would only put a snag in her plan to be on her back, underneath his beautiful body.
Her hands went up into her hair, the sharp sting of a few strands being yanked from their roots making her flinch. “Sorry,” she blurted, grabbing at him again. “I’m stupid. Being stupid.”
Their lips touched in a hard, frantic press, once, twice, and then it was Aaron who was pulling back. “Are you worried?”
Yes, she thought. Yes, she was worried, but she was also turned on, her body shivering with undeniable need. She wasn’t going to let her worries overpower her night with such a sexy and mouthwatering man.
“I’m fine,” she said, reeling him back in. She got in a few more kisses before he let out a laugh, clearly not convinced.
“Tell me,” he said, running a gentle thumb over her forehead. “What’s going on up here?”
Her eyes fell shut, and she breathed out a small laugh at herself. “Not much, to be honest,” she joked. “You’re kind of turning that off.”
She felt the coarse stubble along his jaw graze against her cheek when he grinned, but it disappeared quickly as he asked, “What about here?” His finger brushed across the top of her shirt, right over her pounding heart. “What’s going on here?”
She couldn’t answer that, not even in her head. Admitting how torn she was only made her feel worse. Her hair caught on the buttons of his shirt as she shook her head hard. That was a question she wouldn’t put a voice to.
His body tensed beneath her head, and her knees bent as he stepped forward, pushing her backward until her legs flushed against the soft mattress behind her.
“We don’t have to do this,” he said, his voice a husky lull that could just as easily send her into a peaceful coma or jolt her like a shot of adrenaline.
“I want to,” she countered quickly, panicked that he’d withdraw and leave her alone. She clung to his arm, holding him in place. “I just…I need a minute.”
He exhaled above her, squeezing her close for a quick second before coaxing her to the bed. The cold air that was suddenly between them sent goosebumps up the back of her neck as her bottom melted into the mattress.
“Tell me something,” he said, the bed sinking in next to her with his weight. Her eyes followed his, curiosity crawling through the corners of her mind as he pressed his lips to the sensitive skin just under her ear.
“Like…?” she prodded, tilting her head to give him better access.
He pulled back for just a moment, encouraging her to lie down. A small wrinkle appeared at the bridge of his nose that was so adorable she nearly straddled him and said that her minute was up.
“Like…anything,” he said. “Anything about you.”
Her brows rose. She wasn’t sure what to start with, but she imagined that whatever she chose wouldn’t break the moment any more than she already had. However, since she did want to eventually dive back into something much harder and faster than his quiet pace, she searched her brain for an insignificant detail that wouldn’t have sadness or pain plaguing it.
“I hate ice cream.”
He jerked back, wrinkles appearing on his forehead as his brows pulled inward. “Really?”
She nodded, grinning shyly. “It’s…really gross.”
His strong, broad shoulders shook with silent laughter before he bent back over her and patterned her collarbone with kisses. “I’ve never met a soul who doesn’t like ice cream.”
“That is the response I usually get when people find out.”
“What about it don’t you like?”
She licked her lips, her heart flying in that moment of small talk just as much as it had in the middle of her intense pleasure at his hands. She didn’t want to think what that meant, so she shook it off before it consumed her thoughts.
“The texture,” she told him. “It’s too”—she made a face—“gooey.”
He chuckled at her description, his hand tumbling down her ribs and squeezing at the hip. “So what about frozen yogurt?”
“Nope.”
“Regular yogurt?”
“Ick.”
“Pudding?”
She made a playful gagging noise, and his lips left her skin just enough to turn up and let out a laugh. Kennedy’s cheeks ran warm, and she had the inexplicable desire to make him do that as much as possible.
“What about you?” she asked, her voice slightly shaky from the sweet visual of his genuine laugh; it made her entire body tingle. “Any foods you won’t touch?”
“Broccoli,” he answered immediately, his lips finding the tip of her nose. “Celery, peas…really anything green.”
She ran a hand through his soft hair. “Your mother must’ve loved that.”
“I don’t trust green food,” he said with a serious shake of his head. She mimicked his expression, teasing him as she silently “agreed” with his logic. However, just bringing up the subject of broccoli had her craving it; nothing beat cheesy broccoli soup in a nice warm bread bowl. Oh, she could’ve gone for one right then.
Aaron let out a small laugh before pressing another soft kiss to the underside of her jaw. “You okay there?”
“Huh?” she asked.
“You were…moaning.”
Her heart stopped, and she threw her hands up over her warming face. “Sorry. I was thinking about…soup.” She shook her head furiously, and hoping to draw attention away from her bizarre late-night cravings, she threw the conversation back to him. “Do you hate all green things?”
He took a little bit to answer, so she peeked through her fingers and saw him trying to catch up to where she was.
“Nah,” he finally said,
his hand skating up her side, his thumb just tucked under her breast. “It’s not my favorite, though.”
Kennedy’s eyes followed down the length of his torso, her mouth pooling at the way his blue button-up draped over his subtle muscles. Aaron was thin, but he was strong and sculpted, and she could only imagine what lay hidden just under his belt. She’d only caught a shadow of a V when he’d been shirtless in his laundry room, and the anticipation of seeing it in the light sent her teeth into her bottom lip, a buzz through her skin, and a pulsing feeling between her legs.
“What color is your favorite?” he asked, and since her brain was only working part-time and her eyes were still glued to his chest, she blurted, “Blue.”
No…wait. That wasn’t right. Blue had never brought good memories to her, being the color of Jared’s old bedsheets, the color of Jared’s hospital gown, the color of his lifeless eyes when his body gave out and the cancer overtook.
She shook her head. “No, it’s pink,” she corrected. “I like pink.”
The air between them fell quiet, and Kennedy blew out a frustrated breath and shook her head. It wasn’t that she felt awkward; talking with Aaron was as natural as breathing, which came as a surprise every time she recognized that. No…her trepidation was more about how nervous she felt, her body wanting to be touched and caressed in a way it hadn’t been in a long time, but her heart unsure that she was up for the repercussions of the act. What if it wasn’t how she remembered? Or worse, what if it was better? Her mind tripped and tumbled as she recalled the way her body had soared to the highest height just the other night, and that was only Aaron’s tongue and hands. If he brought her even higher tonight, high enough to touch the clouds of heaven, would that mean that she enjoyed Aaron’s touch more than that of Jared, the love of her life? Or did that mean she’d simply forgotten what it was like?
She blinked away tears. No, she told them. She would not be sad tonight. Whenever she’d kissed Aaron, it had been because she was sad. It would not be that way now. She would kiss him and touch him because of who he was and how he made her stomach twirl and her pulse race.