The mattress dipped between them as he rolled off her, obviously sensing her change in mood. His thumb ran over the top of her cheek, and the corner of his mouth curled up.
“Pink,” he said as her skin heated under his touch, “is growing on me.”
She bit away a smile, blushing the pink shade that she imagined was coloring her cheeks. She rolled to him, closing the gap he’d put between them and hiking her leg up on his hip. It felt like a lifetime since she had felt comfortable enough with a man to do this, to fluidly touch and cuddle. Jared was her last, and in the back of her mind she had worried that the day would come that a man would cause such strong reactions, but she never imagined they’d be this powerful. And she certainly wouldn’t have guessed it would be Jared’s once-upon-a-time best friend.
Her hand touched the corner of his mouth, her nail scratching against the coarseness of his trimmed face.
“I’m nervous,” she said, her thumping heart backing up her confession. Aaron let out a soft breath and ran a comforting hand over her shoulder and down her arm, pausing at her elbow to give her a quick squeeze.
“Me, too.”
Her brows shot upward, her relief mating with shock. “Thank goodness,” she said, and they shared a laugh between them, their bodies moving in pleasant waves against each other. “Why are you nervous? I take it from the girl attached to your lips when we first met—along with that mind-blowing orgasm you gave me the other night—that you aren’t…inexperienced.”
She expected him to laugh more, but Aaron’s head jerked back instead, his honey eyes laced with surprise. “Mind-blowing?”
Heat rushed up her neck. “If I can be candid about that…then yes. That’s an accurate description.” Yet not nearly strong enough.
His hand fell to her waist, clutching her as his eyes closed and he breathed in deep. His hips seemed to ease gently into hers, his hard length pressing up against her belly. She held her breath, gulping at the heat pooling deep in her sex. Her tongue came out to moisten her lips, preparing them for his talented mouth, but he didn’t close the gap.
“I’m nervous,” he started, and she suddenly remembered that she’d asked him a question. “Because, selfishly, I don’t want to wonder if this will make me an awful person. More awful than I am, I mean.”
She shook her head, silently shooting down that worry for him. He only shook his head back at her.
“It’s not just that,” he continued. “It’s mostly…”
Kennedy saw the worry lines at the corners of his eyes, the frown on his lips, and she reached up and cupped his face. If there was anything she could do to take away the pain that was so clearly written in his expression, she would do it.
“What?” she asked, hoping that if he said the words aloud she could erase them from his mind.
“I don’t want you to…wish that I was him.”
Her heart plummeted into a torrid sea, her breath stolen away as he tucked his face into her, hiding from the admission that she knew had to have been so hard to speak out loud. Her arms wrapped around his head, cradling him to her chest as their legs tangled together.
“I don’t,” she promised, and her sinking heart both broke and sewed back together in the same beat. “I want you, Aaron. I need you, right now.”
The truth of her words recoiled on her, prickling the back of her eyes and shattering her soul. She had told herself never to want another man like this, never to forget Jared or stop loving Jared, but she was falling, tumbling off the edge for Aaron, and, at the same time, grasping at anything to keep hold of the first man she ever loved.
She tugged at the back of his head, pulling his hair to get him to look at her. His golden gaze was filled with apology that he dared even ask her to wish for someone other than Jared. She wanted to erase that look, take away the guilt coloring his irises every time he admitted that he gave more than two licks about her.
Her fingers locked into the soft strands of his hair and she crushed her lips to his, needing the fire he inspired in her to fuse her two halves together and be with only him in this moment. A surprised groan came from deep in his chest, but he quickly matched her fervor, his soft lips teasing her as he alternated between suckling and nipping.
Kennedy fumbled for the buttons on his shirt, her nerves starting to quiet from his addicting touch.
“Please,” she begged between their lips, her shaking hands unable to get him undressed. He pushed off the bed, hovering over her and ripping both his button-up and his undershirt over his head. Kennedy ran a hand over his rippling muscles as he bent back down to kiss her, his elbows dipping the mattress on either side of her shoulders, his hands cradling her head in equal reverence and determination.
He was completely mind-numbing, dulling her scattered thoughts and igniting responses in her that had seemed like only memories. A burning hand skated up her shirt, smoothing over the hills and valleys of her body. It wouldn’t be long now, and her nerves were still running rampant in her lower belly, tying a thousand knots. Why did she feel so much with him? Why did she feel like it was more? She sniffed the thoughts away, crumpled and burned them, and as she did, her body fell into a space that was only reserved for him and her.
“Aaron…” she whispered in a heady and relieved breath. Her words got stuck in her throat, the request lost as she realized just what she was about to say; she was going to ask him to make love to her, but that couldn’t be what they were doing, what they were about to do. She wasn’t going to love another person the way she had Jared. She couldn’t make love with Aaron; it was not fair to anyone.
Yet she couldn’t call what they were doing sex, either. That was too soft a word for how she felt. What was in between having sex and making love?
Aaron’s tongue dipped into her mouth, putting a thick wedge between her brain and her body, and she met him stroke for stroke. He groaned, his chiseled stomach vibrating against the soft fabric of her shirt, and she pulled at her clothes, anxious to be skin on skin, ready to be taken away by his very capable hands.
“Let me,” he said, tucking a palm under her back and bringing her up with him as he sat back. His knuckles brushed the small of her back, sending hot trails and exciting tremors up her spine as he slipped her shirt up off her head. Her lips found his as soon as her top left her body, and he had her moaning into his mouth before she even heard the fabric flump against the floor, joining his discarded shirts.
He held her close, her bare breasts falling flush against the perfectly cut lines in his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he tucked his hands under her ass and lifted her up on him. His hard length pressed against her soft center, and her heart took a dive, stars appeared in her vision, and her fingers tightened their grip in his hair, pulling, tugging, needing to feel more than just the hum of pleasure through their jeans.
They rocked against each other slowly, relieving some of the pressure, but not nearly enough. Kennedy’s lips left his with a wet pop, her head rolling back as she tried to even out her breathing. His skin was so hot, it felt like flames were flickering all around them, and when his mouth touched her neck, she could swear that she was at the stake, burning and burning for enjoying this all too much.
“You’re so warm,” she said, her eyes slowly opening and dropping to meet his. “You’re always so warm to me.”
He paused in his gentle thrusting, staring up at her, his eyes swimming with disbelief, with gratitude, and with something she couldn’t put her finger on. She brought a hand to his heart, feeling the rapid pulse, her body sinking into the sensation of being with not just any man, but someone who made her feel so much when she often forced herself to feel so little.
“I often think the same about you,” he said, and then he shifted them, gently lifting her up and setting her back until she hit the cold, neglected part of the bedsheets. His forearms came down next to her, his thumb stroking the side of her head, tangling in her hair and making her eyes roll.
That look, his g
entle caress…they locked the door on every one of her torn thoughts, and all that was left was their burning bodies, and her heart, beating for only one person right then. Without her worries to accompany it, she let it beat as hard as it wanted.
He bent his head, and she met him, pressing her lips hard against his, dipping her tongue inside and exploring every inch of his mouth. Her stomach buzzed, tingling with anticipation as she frantically reached for the button of his jeans. Her pinky trailed along the V she’d been thinking about earlier, her blood rushing through her body and her brain, quieting to near silence when she finally popped the button open.
A sharp hiss slipped through his teeth, interrupting their kiss as she slipped a hand into his jeans and wrapped it around his hard and velvety erection. His forehead fell against hers and she gulped, her breath hitching as she ran her hand up and down, mimicking the motions of what she wanted him to do to her. She flicked her eyes up to meet his, holding his burning gaze as she gave her gentle ministrations. His arms started trembling on either side of her, his muscles flexed and straining to keep himself upright. A rush of wet heat went through her at how she could affect him, how powerful she felt, and how grateful she was that they were experiencing these pleasurable things together in a world filled with so much pain. She turned her head and pressed a kiss to his forearm, and that must have drained the rest of his strength, because he fell onto her, his lips crashing down onto hers. His hands tore at the button of her pants and shucked both them and her panties off her in one jumbled swoop, the rest of his clothing following not long after. Her skin buzzed beneath his hands as they skated up her legs, and the sound of his pants hitting the floor made her stomach dip and swirl…but not with nerves. No, those were gone now.
She rolled her hips against his, her eyes blinking back stars as his mouth loved her jaw, her neck, then stopped at the cusp of her bra.
“It’s not just your skin,” he said, and her brow furrowed as he ran his fingers down her ribs and clutched her hip. “Your smile, your laugh, the way your nose wrinkles…Kennedy, everything about you is warm.”
As if her body was determined to prove him right, it ran a few degrees hotter, one of her nipples budding against his chin. His eyes lifted to hers, watching as he found the clasp nestled in her cleavage and flicked it open.
She’d been this exposed with him before, but this time it felt different, almost surreal as he ran a rough palm over her breast, massaging and keeping his eyes on hers. Her head was cotton candy, her body a bursting cannon of colors. She moved her hand over his face, her fingers needing to touch him, her skin pleading for his to collide with hers. As he hovered over her, his sculpted torso a whisper away, she smoothed her palm over his abs, ran her thumbs into the slanted V of his hips, tickled a path to his back, and dropped a light kiss to his shoulder. His fingers flexed on her breast, sending shock waves through her spine. She shivered against him, arching her back.
He bent, his forehead touching hers as his fingers rolled her nipples, and she inhaled, breathing in the scent that was so Aaron, the scent that had swirled into her daydreams since the moment she’d tied it to him.
She felt him shift between her legs, the tip of his shaft prodding against her slick heat. She lifted her hips, ready for him, so, so ready for him, but his eyes studied hers, as if he needed a yes, as if he needed to know this was really what she wanted. She was equally grateful for his careful consideration and frustrated by it. She wasn’t going to have second thoughts; she wouldn’t allow herself to have them. So she gave him a small nod, then his lips came down on hers, and he sank into her in one thrust.
Lights burst behind her eyes, and she moaned into his mouth, her teeth coming out to bite his bottom lip as he withdrew and came back in. Each pull of pleasure was like a temporary Band-Aid, sealing up and covering scars that ran jagged all over her. She blinked against the sensation, reaching up and holding his face as he pumped into her, running her thumbs over his lips every time they parted from hers. With each thrust she felt her heart tug toward him, and she made no move to stop it. She wanted him to have it. She knew that if he did, it would be well taken care of, and her mind was a pleasure-filled cloud, too preoccupied to care that she was breaking a promise.
Aaron made love to her mouth, her body, her heart for so long that time seemed irrelevant. She was perched on the edge of heaven with only him for company, and she could have stayed there forever. Their bodies grew slick with sweat and heat; they both felt so much in each other’s presence, their eyes making conversation when their mouths weren’t. It was the most intimate moment Kennedy had ever experienced, and she wasn’t ashamed in that moment that it was with someone else, because it was with Aaron.
“Please,” she cried out, the dip in her belly telling her that she was so close to another euphoric orgasm. The rest of her words came out in wild, frantic moans, and she grasped for a pillow as he pumped into her, pushing it over her face to muffle the noises she couldn’t keep from escaping her mouth. Her sex clenched tight around him, pulsing and sending her to yet another tier of heaven she’d never seen, one that she didn’t want to leave. Their hips slammed into each other as she rode out the high, and he along with her. Her breath stole away, taking her voice with it as she arched back into him and embraced pulse after pulse of pleasure. It was the most powerful and longest orgasm of her life, and when she fell back into the bed, she had no control over any part of her body.
Her breath returned in harsh waves, her muscles ached and spent. She couldn’t find the energy to move at all, her limbs jellylike and useless as Aaron pulled the pillow from her face and looked down into her half-closed eyes.
He was waiting for tears—she could see it in his eyes. Her mind screamed at her hand to reach up and cup his face, assure him that she was okay for the moment, but all her hand did was twitch above her head.
A small smile appeared on his lips, but the worry didn’t leave his face as he settled in next to her. She felt her mind drifting off into a different kind of oblivion as her body melted into the comforter, her entire left side burning and sticking against Aaron. Ten—or forty—minutes passed before she was finally able to roll to her side and drape an arm across him before completely dozing off. The crash was coming; she knew it, and it would be far worse than it had been before. Because right then, the only man she wanted to love was in this bed beside her. Regret and guilt would soon find their way into her heart, but her body was so spent there was no room for them right now. Right now, she felt whole. Aaron had healed wounds deep inside her that she thought were never capable of repair. And she realized that it wasn’t that he’d been better than Jared; he was wonderfully different, and everything she needed.
Chapter 16
Aaron
“Tell me something happy,” Kennedy mused, tracing circles on his chest as they lay together in the dark. “What makes you happy?”
Aaron gave her a suggestive look as he squeezed her body, making it very clear that in that moment, she was making him happy—damn, she’d made him happier than any other woman alive.
She grinned and shook her head. “Really,” she said. “Tell me something that makes you happy.”
He sighed, his brain still trying to turn back on after having been in another body part for so long. “Web design.”
She smiled gently and giggled. A wrinkle appeared at the bridge of his nose, and he narrowed his eyes and turned his lazy caress on her back into tickle-torture on her ribs. “Is that funny to you?” he teased as she pushed at his hand.
“Yes,” she said through her giggles. “It’s so adorably nerdy.”
He gave her a face, his hand settling back into comforting caresses. “What about you? What makes you happy?”
She curled into him and pressed a kiss to his chin. His grin widened at the fact that she could so easily cause such strong reactions with such simple touches. “Editing,” she said, and his body shook against hers with his laughter.
“Equally adorable and
nerdy answer, I’d say. Maybe more so.”
“Thank you,” she answered, taking the comment proudly. Then she tilted her head up to look at him, his heart skipping under her palm. Her eyes were soft, playful, pleased right then, but he could see something deep inside her, hardening and slowly clawing its way out.
He cradled her cheek and kissed her, afraid of that emotion she wasn’t letting out yet, hoping it was just his imagination or his paranoia. His fears quieted when she kissed him back, and he didn’t let them resurface.
—
Aaron had never really liked waking up in another bed. His back or neck was almost always sore, his arm asleep, and he’d normally have to maneuver out from under a wholly naked—or sometimes partly naked—woman while trying not to wake her. The air was always tense, Aaron hoping he didn’t have to tell whoever the conquest was that it wasn’t anything but a casual lay. Yet as he stretched out in the soft sheets underneath his naked body, he’d almost forgotten he wasn’t in his own house.
It wasn’t just that his body was completely satisfied and relaxed; his very soul felt rejuvenated. Kennedy had weaved her way not only into his mind, but into the deepest parts of his heart. A smile teased the corner of his sleepy lips as he relished the memory of their lovemaking just hours before.
Yes…lovemaking. There was no other word to describe that connection, the way his heart beat straight from his chest at every touch, every caress, every press of her lips against his.
He tiptoed his fingers across the comforter, hoping to land on the soft bare skin of Kennedy’s back, but he was met with cold nothingness. His head lifted, one eye popping open to the now-empty side where she’d fallen straight asleep after he curled her into him. He shook himself awake and looked around the room.
“Ken?” he said, but was met with only the sound of the clock ticking on the nightstand. He rolled to his back, the thumping of his heart spiraling into a panic-laced beat.