Earlier, I woke up at dusk and raced out to the closest pharmacy where I picked up a small box of chocolates and a card. I don't even know what’s gotten into me...but she has me smitten.
Little encouraging affectionate notes are scattered all over the ground; so unlike me. I never have to worry about the chase—girls fall all over me every day. Maddy fell as easily if not as quickly. But it wasn’t the same on my end. I fought the attraction, the chemistry, and the passion. But knowing what I know—the other guy in her life is going to be getting out of Basic soon; has lit a fire up under my ass.
I grab the breakfast tray which is loaded with toast, bacon, eggs, and orange juice and make my way back to my bedroom.
I sit down on the edge of the bed. I’m just about to wake her when I see her begin to stir. “What smells so good?” She asks through closed eyes.
“Open your eyes,” I whisper, awaiting her response.
She rubs her eyes a few times before switching them to me. “Breakfast? You made me breakfast in bed?” She sits up excitedly, a surprised reaction taking over her face.
I nod without replying.
“What’s the occasion?” she asks.
“Just ‘cause,” I reply simply.
She smiles a big grin before hastily grabbing the breakfast tray and immediately pigging out.
“I take it you were hungry?” I laugh, stretching. “Now I need a nap! I’ve been slaving away on your breakfast all morning and I didn’t even get a thank you…”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Shut up and kiss me.”
I obey; closing the distance between us, I lower my lips to hers.
This is the woman I love. One of the only women in the world I have ever loved. I am determined to make her mine, only mine.
“Brring,” the shrill alarm screeched for what must have been the fourth time. I sighed dramatically before finally rolling over and silencing the obnoxious sound for good.
It had been two weeks since Madalynne made her decision; Parker; and exited my life forever. Heartbreak was not something I was familiar with. I let women close, but not close enough to ever hurt me…Maddy was the first.
No one prepares you for the pain associated with losing a loved one. Someone I had fallen into a routine with. Someone I let down my walls for. I could never regret a single moment spent with her though, because she showed me what real love was; she made me a believer.
My entire life I avoided love and any possibility of it, knowing just how messy it could be. Sex was enough for me and the affection I received from it held me over. She changed it all for me. The night on the beach with the bimbo, I knew—Maddy was going to change my life—I only hoped it was for the better.
I’ve received about a letter a day since she left. All unopened—untouched. Having to relive her decision over and over again through letters sounded too painful for me. Knowing that she chose him—Parker, over me was enough. But knowing and having to be reminded again and again that she would never be mine would only make me suffer more. The wound was still fresh; I needed time to heal.
I grabbed my cell phone and swiped my finger across the screen, unlocking it. I had been cancelling all of my clients for the past couple of weeks…not trusting myself around the female population. I knew exactly what my habits were after a bad break-up. Get wasted—forget—rebound. But losing Maddy had left me hollow. Nothing seemed appealing anymore. It’s funny how that works…I was going along with my life just fine, happy even, and then she sat down next to me—and everything changed. It’s amazing how one small moment can change your life in ways you never thought possible.
I had no intention of taking on clients again until I was a hundred percent. But even that didn’t stop me from attempting total self-destruction. Since Maddy had left, my friend and neighbor, Elijah had been dragging me along to bars and parties with him trying to get me out of my funk. It was more awkward than anything…I pushed away the women by being a complete asshole and pissing Eli off.
The only thing that has really kept me going in this time is when I day dream about my next destination; when I fantasize about leaving and starting again fresh. I had been researching for a few days and two destinations had caught my eye; Tahiti and Croatia. I would be content with either, I’m sure, but I was looking for a place to help me forget…help me forget her.
142
Kira Adams, My Forever
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