I was surprised that he hadn’t told me about his trip sooner. In a way, I was thankful he had the opportunity to meet her and explore his feelings. It helped ease my old jealously and resentment I held for her. Plus, from everything he had divulged over the years, she really helped him out of a dark place in his life; a place that even I couldn’t pull him out of. After countless phone calls, text messages, emails, and video chats Jacqueline and I had grown quite close.
“You know how ridiculous that sounds?” Parker eyed me down.
“I don’t care! I have a system and it works,” I replied snootily.
Parker was referring to the way I chose to eat M&M’s. I only ate the green colored ones. He always made the argument that there was no difference between the colors, they all had the same chocolate chunk inside of them…but it didn’t matter to me. I ate them because for my entire life since I was a little girl, I always associated the color green with luck—thanks to my older brother. And so I took it upon myself to try to gain luck anywhere I could.
“Your system sucks,” Parker joked, lightly popping the remaining few green ones in his mouth.
“Hey!” I pounced on him. “Those were the last ones! Now I don’t have any to eat.” I pouted, giving my best vulnerable quivering lip.
“Oh my goodness, what ever will we do?” Parker replied, sarcastically.
“You’re no fun,” I continued pouting, turning away from him for full effect.
Ever since Parker had decided that he did want me in his life and wanted to be exclusive, we had been inseparable…spending almost every free moment together. His parents were ecstatic; they had always loved me and rooted for me. And after Bo, Parker slipped into a deep depression. They begged me to pull him out of it. I never gave up on him.
After months of avoidance from the guy I had been in love with for as long as I could remember, it was as if we had never missed a beat. Picking up exactly where we left off. But this time the romance was a two-way street.
He never kept me guessing; I guess it was his way of showing me that he was willing to give himself fully to me; be vulnerable. Any chance he had to be affectionate, he took. Kissing me until I was sure my lips were going to fall off, holding my hand until it went numb.
Something had changed his viewpoint on dating me, drastically. It could have been the aftershock of losing a loved one, or it could have been that after the time apart, he realized he couldn’t live without me. Either way, I was savoring each and every moment.
“Jerk,” I insulted him lamely, smiling the entire time.
“What did you call me?” he pushed, inching closer.
“Jerk,” I repeated, giggling, playfully swatting him.
He grabbed my wrists lightly, stopping me, and then whispered in my ear the words I had been waiting to hear for far too long. “I think I’m in love with you.”
I trembled as the words rang through me. I had loved Parker with every ounce I had in me for years with nothing in return romantically. I had dreamt of this moment countless nights; gossiped with my best girl friend about my future with Parker.
He didn’t wait for me to say those three words back; he simply lowered his lips to mine. The passion in my kisses would do all the talking for me. Only a blind person could have overlooked my feelings for Parker.
Lee
Madalynne Johnson was the first girl I ever loved, whole-heartedly, without question. After she chose between Parker and me, I was left half a man, broken.
I never imagined myself the relationship type, but Madalynne had changed that all for me; opened my heart.
After her decision, she kept in touch, sending me countless letters with updates. And eventually, I couldn’t remain angry with her any longer. I realized I would rather have my former best friend and lover in my life to any degree rather than not having her at all.
So was it a stretch that I had agreed to be a witness for Maddy and Parker at the courthouse in their hometown before he deployed? Probably…but I was ready for an adventure of my own…and who knew they wouldn’t disappoint...
Jacqueline
Somewhere deep down inside of me I always knew Parker would pick Madalynne. Even with that inkling, I let myself get lost in my time with him. Hoping and praying every night wouldn’t be our last.
I thought I was broken before Parker…he annihilated me. I was crushed. He was the only person I ever felt like could accept me if I simply opened up enough.
But Parker had been a part of my life for countless years, and I wasn’t ready to part with him yet. So we both worked at a friendship after he left…and slowly but surely we began rebuilding our foundation as friends.
Madalynne had also been reaching out to me quite a bit since they had gotten engaged. She wanted to know everything about Parker’s online friend, and I didn’t blame her. But something even more surprising happened, we actually clicked.
I could understand why Parker loved her. Madalynne was strong and charismatic, passionate and loving. She was willing to take risks and reap the rewards. She was everything I wished I could be. And I reveled in the time I got to spend learning from her.
Parker
“You ready for this?” I grinned at Madalynne before opening the doors to the courthouse. We had made a decision to get married at the courthouse so I could make sure Madalynne had full benefits before I left for deployment.
After returning home from Hawaii, Madalynne and I spent an amazing two months together before I was forced to leave again for AIT. Madalynne’s attitude had improved tenfold about me being in the military, and she was even there to see me off.
I spent close to six months in AIT with no worries about my relationship. The time apart brought us closer together than ever. I even introduced Madalynne to Skype so that when I was overseas we could communicate in a cheap and effective way.
I had returned home from AIT four months ago; savoring every minute and second I had with her. We had been together for over five years; marriage was not an intimidating step for us. We had more love and support than many couples our age, and no hesitations of problems in the marriage.
Madalynne and I had agreed we would hold the actual ceremony and reception for all of our families and friends after I returned home from my yearlong deployment to Iraq; the date also our seven year anniversary.
“Do you have your witnesses?” the Justice of Peace asked.
Madalynne and I locked eyes and grinned at one another, shaking our heads in agreement. I looked to the left of us, and there was a smiling Jacqueline next to an equally chummy Lee. So we weren’t the worst matchmakers in the world, we found each other right?
After Madalynne and Jacqueline became fast friends, Maddy instantly felt a connection between herself and my longtime pal, assuming Lee and Jacqueline would hit it off, I trusted her instinct and it looked to be paying off.
I glanced back at my wife to be who was still grinning, and I knew, more than I knew anything else in the entire world, that this was the woman I wanted to grow old with…
Epilogue
Madalynne
I wouldn’t change one decision I made that year, even the difficult ones because it taught me to play longer, kiss deeper, and love more passionately than I had ever before. We had been through hell and back multiple times throughout our relationship, only to find one another in the end. Parker was always the end game for me, I just got a little lost in the maze of life—but now that I had him back in my life, I vowed to never let him go.
Parker
She had me at hello, and in a way I think it will always be that way. Bo always referred to her as the “one”, my other half. Even though I tried out other pieces along the way, Madalynne was the only puzzle piece that ever truly fit in my heart and ever truly would. The deaths in our families, her parent’s divorce, fleeting relationships with others; nothing could keep us apart, and nothing ever would.
Preview of the second book in the Infinite Love series, Beautifully Broken:
J
acqueline
My head fell back hitting the bathroom wall with a thud. I loved the feeling that came over me as an after effect. It was my own personal high. I exhaled loudly, my eyes still closed; reveling in the light headed feeling.
Even though I was emancipated at fifteen, and had been living on my own ever since, my routine had never wavered. Although it was the one thing I looked forward to most days, it was also something I was ashamed of.
I knew if I ever wanted to give myself fully to someone they would be entitled to know. That’s why I kept everyone at an arm’s length away.
Parker Grant was the only other human being on this earth I had trusted enough to contemplate telling…but after he chose Madalynne, I saw no reason.
My entire life I had never felt worthy of love, yet found myself seeking it out due to my father’s absence in my life and my drug addicted mother.
When I was seven years old my teacher Mrs. Edelson called Child Protective Services on my mother. She had forgotten to pick me up after school. I’m not talking late, I’m talking full on no call, no show. Who forgets to pick up their own child?
My father dipped out not too long after that; it all becoming too much for him. I heard from one of my mother’s rants that he ended up somewhere in Mexico.
I was claimed by CPS and put into foster care at the age of thirteen after I called 911 because I found my mother passed out on the ground, crack pipe next to her, throw up all over the ground.
I spent two agonizing years in foster care before filing for emancipation. I had applied and been approved pretty quickly thanks to the amazing Godsend I had of a case worker, Trinity
Luckily, I was an only child, so no other children had to be subjected to the hell I went through growing up.
The only person who even made my life worth living was my friend Travis. He literally was my pillar of support during my childhood years.
I met him in middle school and we spent almost every day together after that. He knew everything I had been through with my parents; he knew how difficult my life had been from day one.
He was the person I called the day I tried to kill myself. He was the person who saved my life. He stuck by me through thick and thin; the real definition of a friend.
At fifteen when I was granted emancipation, Travis convinced his parents to take me in. And knowing how close we were, they did. I thanked God every day for them. In return for my free pass I helped out by working in their stables.
What most would consider hard labor, I considered my fresh start and actually came to love the horses I cared for and the work that I did. It felt very fulfilling and helped center me.
Travis and his parents were also the only ones aware of my disorder. They handled me with kid gloves, making sure not to test me. They know how quickly I can be triggered and shoot from zero to one hundred. And yet, they still forgive me and reassure me that it’s not my fault—just a result of my shitty upbringing.
While Travis liked to think he knew everything about me—he knew nothing of my biggest secret and I didn’t know that I wanted him to.
Travis had been there for me when no one else had. And even though I know he’d still accept me; the truth was far too hard to face.
“Well, are you going to get that or not?” She looks at me, a tired expression running the course of her face.
I nod slightly, slowly making my way to the front door, knowing with each step I take, danger closes in. I glance back at my mother one more time. Her eyes look sunken in, her blond hair hasn’t been washed in over a week, and I wonder if she is aware of the stench perforating off her.
“Get to it!” she screams once she notices my hesitation.
The banging picks up volume; more urgent this time, and I know it’s not good for me. After fumbling with the lock nervously and opening the door, he pushes it open roughly, knocking me out of the way. “What took so long?” he growls at my mother.
“I’m sorry baby!” She jumps up from the couch and embraces him; slapping me across the back of the head. “Jacqueline took her sweet time; it won’t happen again.” She turns her attention to me. “Go on to your room now.”
I may be young, but I’m not naïve. I know exactly what is going to happen when I leave the room. They are going to get high as a kite together; my mother’s drug of choice this week is meth. And then they will add weed into the mix a little later. That is what I don’t want to think about—the possibilities of later. So I hurriedly race to my room, locking the door behind me. It’s not like I can’t still picture his sleazy grin and missing teeth or his dirty clothes and terrible stench. It was what I had nightmares about.
I had a close call a month ago when one of her “friends” came knocking at my door in the middle of the night. I lied there, perfectly still, frozen in fear as the handle jiggled and jiggled until eventually, it just stopped. It was the first night I locked my door and I’ve been doing it ever since.
Roger, the scumbag over now has crossed the line more than a few times with his vulgar language towards me. And one time he even walked in on me in the shower. He swore it was an accident to my mother; but I saw his eyes taking in my pre-teen body—and I was scared shitless.
The incident had occurred a few weeks ago and I am terrified to even be around him now. I press my ear to the door, relieved when I can still audibly hear my mother’s voice.
I change into pajamas and climb into bed. I’m not asleep for more than 45 minutes when I hear the rattling of my door handle. My heart rate spikes in anticipation.
“Roger? Where are you?” I hear my mother’s voice faintly. My fear accelerates knowing she isn’t the one outside my door. The handle wiggles a few more times before I hear her again, only this time more clearly, “what the fuck are you doing?”
“Who are you talking to in that tone, woman?” Roger’s voice rings through. Then I hear what sounds like his fist hitting her. I think my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I barely hear her now, but it is apparent that she is whimpering.
“I’m sorry baby. Just come back to the living room, we can order a pizza and watch a movie.” I can see their shadows beneath my door frame.
“No one tells me what to do,” I hear him exclaim before the sound of a second altercation grabs my attention.
“If you touch her, I’ll kill you.” My mother’s concerned tone takes me by surprise.
The sounds of breaking glass and dishes startle me. I jump up from my bed, bracing myself against the wall. I want to be strong and check on my mom—but the sound of heavy footsteps is too terrifying. I can’t move a muscle.
The jiggling of the door handle begins again, only this time it is more forceful; more anxious.
I crawl underneath my bed. For some reason it seems like the only space small enough he may not be able to reach me. I press myself against the wall, as close as I can get, right underneath the headboard.
I can hear what sounds like kicking at my door, taking my breath away. I close my eyes and cover my ears; it makes it feel less real that way.
Lee
I never intended to fall. In fact, when I boarded that plane back home, it was the furthest thing from my mind. It hit me like a ton of bricks the other night. We were just hanging out at our usual beach spot when she looked up at me and the moon glistened off her face just so, illuminating her undeniable beauty. I knew quickly on I would never meet anyone like Madalynne Johnson. Beauty, brains, and genuine? Yes, please. I could tell she was into me; it wasn’t rocket science. But I knew what I wanted out of life; adventure and excitement. Without much effort I found that Maddy encompassed all of that and more.
I remember the first night I woke up in a cold sweat. I glanced over at Maddy, peacefully asleep beside me and it slowed my heart race; calmed me down. The effect she had on me was unlike any I had ever felt before. It was a feeling of comfort and safety; it felt right.
Deep down I know she has a guy back home…but I try to avoid these thoughts. Eventually, a decision wi
ll be forced upon her, stay in Hawaii with me—or leave for him…I’ve been making the most of our time together for this exact reason.
I glance down at her, making a mental note that she is still fast asleep. I gently sweep her long brown hair out of her face and kiss her on the forehead. She stirs a little from this before rolling over and dominating my side of the bed. I can’t help but smile. Normally I would be in bed with her, snuggling, but I want to surprise her. I want to show her how much of an impact she has made on my life. I have never dated anyone I’ve felt this strongly about. Meaning I never bothered to go the extra mile. Sleeping beauty over there is beyond worth it to me.