“Don’t remind me.” I groaned just thinking about the lecture about the importance of family and how we were supposed to gather them all in Worcester, of all places, in a few days’ time.
“You will have to face it sooner than later.”
“I would get Dom to do it, she won’t shout at him,” Libby added winking and I didn’t think this a bad idea, now of course all I had to do was make up with him and that might be easier said than done.
Libby had told me that I was welcome to stay the night, which was a comforting thought, but I knew I couldn’t bury my head in the sand forever. Part of me wished he would turn up at my window, but I knew this time that wasn’t going to happen. I had told him that I needed time to think and knowing Draven, he was going to give me it.
“We are going to bed now but if you decide to go back then I left the number for a taxi near the phone. Just use the spare key when you leave to lock up.” I smiled at her and how well she knew me.
“Want some more worldly advice?” I shrugged my shoulders and said,
“Sure.”
“Time might heal certain wounds but in an argument, sometimes it just drives a bigger wedge. Besides, this will always be your home, but if he’s not here then you know it’s just not the right home… in here.” She said pointing to her heart and I knew she was right.
“Thanks Libs…for everything.” She grinned, walked over to me, kissed my forehead and said,
“Sure thing, that’s what big sisters are for, besides…you’re one hell of a cook.” I laughed as she said good night and once more my sister was right…
It was time to go home.
I waited for Libby and Frank to go to bed and then crept downstairs to call a taxi as Libby had known that I would, because underneath the number she had written me a message…
‘Good Luck x’
I decided to wait outside on the porch for the taxi to arrive so that the driver wouldn’t do something stupid like beep the horn and wake everyone up. I was just thankful that I found some dollars stuffed in an old pair of jeans or I would have had the embarrassing task of ringing Draven when I got there to ask him to pay. And that wasn’t exactly the romantic gesture I was going for.
When the taxi came I was thankful that the guy driving wasn’t in a chatty mood and I had time to reflect back on what Libby had said. By the time I got to Afterlife I was ready to storm right up to Draven and apologise, but this turned out easier said than done as he wasn’t in the club like I had hoped. However, I did find two others there and they didn’t look like they were happy campers.
“What’s got you two misfits down in the dumps?” I asked going up to the bar and finding Pip and Sophia swigging from bottles. They both snapped their heads round at me and shouted,
“We are so sorry!”
“We’re really shit!” I laughed at both of them knowing there was no point in being angry at them as they had only tried to help with the Libby/wedding situation. And I don’t think any of us would have guessed Libby’s freak out at the dinner table was going to happen.
“We were just trying to…”
“I know and then we didn’t think that she would…” They both started talking at the same time so I put my hands up to stop them.
“Look guys it’s fine. I shouldn’t have overreacted with Draven and…”
“Oh man, is he pissed!” What surprised me was that this statement came from Sophia not Pip.
“Oh yeah, blood on a cracker, but didn’t we get our asses handed to us!” Yep, this was definitely more Pip.
“So he got pissed at you both?” I said, thinking this was a lot worse than I thought.
“Shit yeah! Try rage followed by more rage and then imagine lots of shit getting broken…you might be there if you times all that by ten.” Sophia looked to Pip and gestured her shot glass to her before saying,
“What she said.”
“Oh dear,” I muttered and Sophia said,
“I would have gone with ‘Oh fuck’ but that’s just me.” This was looking worse by the second. I took a seat next to them and deflated against the bar.
“So where is he now?”
“I don’t know, probably fighting someone…last I saw he was headed to the training room.” Sophia added this last part when she saw my panicked look.
“What did you say to him anyway?” I looked away from Sophia and to the new barman and said,
“I need tequila.”
“That bad then, eh?” Pip asked and it was only when I had my first shot in front of me that I answered,
“You have no idea.” Then I necked it.
“What am I going to do?” I moaned, banging my stupid head on the bar, knowing I had gone too far this time.
“I have an idea.” Pip said and I looked desperately to her, knowing I would try anything at this point.
“What? What should I do?” She grinned her bad girl grin which should have set off every alarm bell I had, but instead I did as Sophia did and simply got closer to her.
“First, I think we will need that bottle back,” she said to the barman and I couldn’t help but ask,
“Why?” Then she filled up my glass, doing the same with hers and Sophia’s before answering me,
“Because for what I have planned, you’re gonna need it…
“…lots of it.”
Chapter 20
Pip’s Playlist
“What the hell am I doing?” I asked myself as I walked down the corridor where both Pip and Sophia had sent me. I couldn’t believe I was about to do this! Well, that wasn’t strictly true, considering I was fuelled by alcohol and two little demons who had gladly helped me get to this point. First stop on their plan was Sophia’s bedroom, where I was once again playing dress up. Of course, this time I was only two drinks away from being three sheets to the wind and the hair brush in my hand was testament to that.
“Are we really listening to B*Witched right now?” I asked Pip, who was currently singing her little heart out with all the words to ‘C'est La Vie’. It was at the point when she started river dancing that it really got to me, but doing so in Lego covered heels so high, it proved that the girl definitely had skills on the dance floor.
“Now what?” I asked and Pip tapped her phone, which looked like an old cassette tape thanks to the funny cover, and suddenly the room was filled with the cheesy sounds of Peter Andre’s ‘Mysterious Girl’. Sophia and I both groaned out loud and Pip said,
“Okay, okay, not sexy enough…what about…this?”
“Uh, you’re gonna have to help me out here, Pip,” I said and Sophia agreed by saying,
“What’s sexy about ‘Teenage Dirtbag’?”
“What? I can dance sexy to this,” she argued and then started doing her version of hip hop which had me and Sophia nearly in tears laughing. We both shook our heads, so she went back to her playlist, which hadn’t been in the charts since the 90’s.
“Okay now I have it! A bit of Shania Twain, get in there!” Pip shouted throwing her phone to the bed as ‘Man, I Feel Like a Woman’ blared from it. Now this I was drunk enough to dance to. So with Pip and I both singing directly at each other with our hair brushes in hand, it was the most fun I’d had in ages.
“Oi, you’re not getting out of it!” I said to Sophia and grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the closet. Pip, knowing what I was doing, had grabbed an extra hair brush and threw it to her. She protested for all of about five seconds before all three of us were at it. I think we were getting quite good, shaking out hair and using our brushes as more than just microphones, but as guitars too.
We all did our impression of walking along the cat walk and giving our final pose at the end. Then we did our best moves as we spread out, in fact I think the only thing we were missing from the centre of the circle was three handbags. But as usual, all good things come to an end and this time I wasn’t just talking about the song.
So with us looking like teenage band wannabes, the end came with a bang as Pip
jumped up and landed on her knees, playing her brush as the last strum of the guitar in the song. I stretched out my hands at the back of Sophia and for some odd reason thought ‘jazz hands’ would be a good finale. Sophia, who was really getting into it, bent herself back as if she was hitting the high notes and just as she shouted out the last line…
“I feel like a woman!”
“I guess that’s good to know.” Zagan said to his wife as two things happened and both had perfect timing; Adam and Zagan walked in at the very second we finished with a flourish, catching the end of the show and the next song that started on Pip’s playlist just so happened to be ‘It’s Raining Men’.
Pip looked at me after seeing the horror on Sophia’s face, frozen at the thought of what her husband had just caught her doing. He was actually biting his lip to stop himself from laughing and Sophia blushed beetroot. We burst out laughing especially when Pip jumped to her phone and quickly tapped on the next song, which was ‘It Wasn’t Me’ by Shaggy. Even Sophia couldn’t help joining in the hysterics, as the three of us all fell to the floor in a crying, snorting heap.
“I’m thinking we’d better leave before they decide they need partners for the next song,” Adam said looking to Zagan who nodded. The funniest part was seeing them go from walking to running from the room as soon as Pip flipped it to the next song, being ‘Tragedy’ from Steps. This set us all off again into fits which lasted the whole song.
“Right come on girls, we are getting off our mission.” Sophia said pulling me from the floor.
“We can’t go now!” Pip shouted and Sophia rolled her eyes and said,
“Not that mission! You know, ‘operation seduce my brother’.”
“Ewww, that just sounds wrong, even for a Popobawa demon!” Pip said and I had to ask,
“What’s a Popwawa demon?”
“No, no, say it with me now Po…po…ba…wa.” I did as I was told and finally got it, asking again,
“So what’s a Popwawa demon?”…well almost.
“I give up, yours sounds better anyway. It’s a nasty little bugger that looks like a bat, has one eye and a huge penis…oh and will shag anything that has a hole, hence why I…”
“Yes, yes, we get it Pip… and you know what I meant. So we need to get this just right. I will find the perfect outfit, Pip you find the perfect song.”
“And me? What do I do?” I asked eagerly, not giving what they had planned for me as much thought as I should have. Sophia paused for a moment half hanging out of the door to her walk in closet.
“Brush your teeth and hair.” I frowned and breathed into my hand, sniffing it, something that nearly brought tears to my eyes from the alcoholic fumes.
“Got ya!” I said running into her bathroom and before I could ask,
“Top shelf, far cupboard, blue packet.” I was just reaching for one when Pip popped her head around the door and said,
“Sophia wants to know how hairy your legs are.” I automatically looked down as if this would help considering I was wearing jeans.
“Not sure.” I told her honestly and Pip shouted back to Sophia, relaying my answer.
“She’s not sure!” I didn’t hear Sophia’s reply but Pip quickly informed me of my next task.
“She says for you to also grab the pink packet and the gel as you will need it when you shower.”
“Now she wants me to shower?” I asked on a moan.
“Oh and she said not to miss any hard to get bits.” Pip added also gracing me with the actions of someone trying to shave their bum with their head in between their legs.
“Yeah Pip, I think I got this.” She gave me a wink and was gone. I was left feeling bewildered, wondering if by the time we were done Draven wouldn’t just have given up ass kicking and be snoring in bed. Okay, so he didn’t snore but still, he could when I wasn’t there for all I knew. I shook these silly thoughts from my mind and continued with my appointed task, which I admit wasn’t the smartest thing to do, giving a drunken person a razor.
By the time I was finished and had blotted all the little bloody nicks with toilet paper, Sophia was obviously getting impatient. She walked right in and took one look at my legs and said,
“Bloody Earth Keira, I told you to shave off the hair, not skin!”
“Yeah well, human remember, low tolerance to grapes, grains, hops and potatoes, so giving me something sharp to play with wasn’t the best idea,” I told her and she sighed walking out muttering something about needing to add stockings.
I walked out of the bathroom to find Pip twerking her little bum to ‘U Can’t Touch This’ and Sophia stuck her head out of the closet where it seemed she had moved into, and said,
“Pip, we are trying to get him to touch it.”
“Oh yeah, I will keep looking then.” Pip answered turning MC Hammer off with a sigh.
“Good plan…and Pip…” She lifted her head to Sophia waiting for her to continue and when she did, my dread tripled,
“Make sure it’s something she can dance to.”
“Gotya!”
“Uh uh, oh no! There is no ‘gotyas’ in this! Is this your plan? What’s next, do you want me to force him to leave for the next state by getting me to sing to him!” I screeched in a high pitched whine.
“I’ve got it!” Pip shouted ignoring me and playing the next song.
“Oh shit no! I am not dancing to Britney Spears!” I protested and Sophia said,
“It’s getting better, at least ‘Gimme More’ sounds more inviting.” I threw my hand up as I deflated onto Sophia’s bed thinking it was hopeless. The two of them were on a mission to see this happen and I blushed thinking about the last time I was made to strip in front of Draven, but a sexy dance?! It had one word hanging over it and that was ‘Disaster’.
“Don’t worry Toots, I will find something perfect for you to lip sync to.”
“Well the only songs I know all the words to are the ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ which doesn’t really promote that sex kitten vibe.” I held up my hand and shook my head saying,
“Don’t even think about it, Squeak.” She shrugged her shoulders and asked what else. I thought a minute and said,
“Dolly Parton’s ‘9 to 5’.” At this Sophia popped her head out and said a firm,
“No way!”
“Spoilsport.” Pip muttered after sticking her tongue out at Sophia.
“Shame, I think that’s the only one I can actually sing.” I told her jokingly but by the way her eyes lit up I wasn’t sure she got that I was teasing her.
“Good to know. Right, what else?” She asked again and this time I thought back to any songs that I knew and only one other came to mind, thanks to it being played to death in our house like some Sunday ritual.
“Al Green’s ‘Tired of Being Alone’.” I said and Pip looked thoughtful for a moment and said,
“Okie donk, let’s give him a go.” She then tapped her phone a few times trying to find it and then clicked play. And like everyone in the world who had listened to that particular song you just couldn’t help but dance, I started clicking, swaying and mouthing along to the words. This time Sophia walked out of the closet and stood there listening with a small grin on her face, before she too started swaying.
“Hey this isn’t bad.”
“And look, she’s already getting her groove on.” Pip commented gesturing to me behind her with a thumb over her shoulder.
“I actually think this is one that Dom would like, especially combined with this.” She said holding up the chosen outfit and I nearly fell off the bed looking at it.
“Oooh, me likey.” Pip said and I gulped.
“So what do you think?” Sophia asked waggling her eyebrows and I answered with my only thought.
“I’m thinking it’s a good job we didn’t go with ‘9 to 5’ as he might have thought I was singing about my job as a hooker.”
Sophia just rolled her eyes at me and Pip burst out laughing.
Oh yeah, it was goi
ng to be a long night if they thought they were both getting me in that thing. Then Sophia nodded to Pip and she jumped up, pressed play and suddenly a bottle of Tequila was in front of me. And the song of choice was the same,
“Tequila’, by the Champs!”
So now I was walking along the corridor and the only thing I could be thankful of was the dress Sophia had given me to wear over my bulging corset, one that my boobs were currently trying to escape from. The dress was beautiful and made me look like a burlesque club singer, especially with the over the elbow black satin gloves I was wearing.
It was a deep red satin that had a thick halter neck which was tied at one shoulder in a floppy bow. The sweetheart neck line was definitely showing off my assets but the swags in the way the material hung was flattering even though it was a tight cut, hugging my curves as if I had been sewn into it. A tight knee length pencil skirt was making it hard to walk without a swagger.
“Heel to toe, heel to toe,” I told myself as Sophia and Pip had shown me how to walk in the beautiful but ridiculous shoes. These had been from Pip, who had grabbed them from her special reserve. She had never worn them as they had always been slightly too big for her. They matched the dress, being made from the same red satin and having a high peep toe design with a stunning red metal heel that looked like an open rose cupped onto the back of the shoe, with the pointed heel as the stalk. They were simply stunning. Now if they were only easier to walk in, I thought dryly.
They had even done my makeup all sultry looking with dark smoky shades, combined with the burlesque style thick liquid liner sweeping across my lids. My lips were red gloss and looked plump, wet and ready to be kissed. A few pale strokes of powder and my makeup was complete. My hair had also been done to complement the look and was swept to the side in big bouncy curls that were pinned up, with only a few hanging down.
They hadn’t let me look in the mirror as they knew I would no doubt have chickened out of their plan. So as I walked to where I knew he was, I couldn’t help wondering what I really looked like. I only caught glimpses as they were doing my hair and makeup but hadn’t yet seen the whole picture, which given how my hands were still shaking, was probably a good thing. I had also thankfully been given a long black woollen winter’s coat to wear, which hid everything from view.