“Well, then, let’s hurry up and get your bags so we can get on home. Your mother is probably pacing the floor waiting for us to get back.”
Luckily, my luggage was near the front of the baggage compartment underneath the bus. Within five minutes, we were in his truck and hitting the highway. It was twenty-two degrees and snow was still on the ground from the latest winter storm. Thank goodness I had been smart enough to put my snow boots in my bag.
“So how’s school?” he asked.
“It’s great, Daddy. I’ve met so many interesting people.”
“I know you don’t call like you used to.” I could hear the disappointment in his voice. “It almost seemed like you deserted me.”
“Aw, Daddy, you know that you will always be the number one man in my life.” I rubbed him on the arm. “I’ve just been adjusting to my new surroundings.”
He cleared his throat. “I heard Clarence drove up there to see you.”
“Where did you hear that?”
“Please! As small as this town is, we hear when someone gets a speeding ticket. You know that.”
I giggled. “True.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What happened when he came up there?”
“Nothing much. Actually, we had an argument and he left.”
I could feel my dad take his eyes off the road for a minute to stare at me. “An argument about what? Don’t tell me the two of you broke up after all this time?”
“Clarence and I broke up before I left town. I thought it would be for the best. There was no way we could continue a long-distance relationship, so we decided to just be close friends.”
“And he went along with that?” Daddy asked suspiciously.
“I didn’t really leave him a choice.” I sighed. “Besides, he started dating Jessica Williams the second I left town.”
“Really? Isn’t Jessica the town tramp?”
“Hmph, I couldn’t tell you.” I could hear the jealousy in my own voice and I hated it. “It doesn’t matter. She can have Clarence because…”
I hesitated. I hadn’t even mentioned Trevor to either of my parents and I wasn’t sure how they would react. After all, I had jumped into a relationship my first semester of law school.
I wasn’t fooling Daddy though. “She can have Clarence because what?”
“I’ll tell you later.” I turned the radio up. “I just want to relax for a minute after that bus ride. I’m sure that seeing everyone is going to be overwhelming.”
He snickered. “Yes, I’m sure it will be and you have a surprise waiting for you back at the farm.”
“A surprise?”
“Uh-huh, a big surprise.”
“Daddy, you didn’t buy me a car, did you?”
“Naw, baby, I wish. Your mother and I really want to make that happen for you but we just can’t afford it right now. Maybe next year.”
I felt like crap. “It’s okay. It was just a guess. I don’t have anywhere to keep a car in D.C. anyway,” I lied. Hartsdale had plenty of student parking. I just didn’t want him to feel bad about it.
“Like I said, maybe next year.”
He grew silent and I pulled down the visor so I could check myself out in the mirror. Mommy was likely to make comments about my appearance if something was out of place.
I shut the visor back. “So give me a hint about the surprise.”
“I can tell you this. It’s a human surprise.”
“Aw, the plot thickens. You and Mommy haven’t had another baby since I left town?”
“Not a chance. That bank is closed.”
“So that means someone is visiting. I wonder who.”
“And you’ll continue wondering until we get home,” he chided.
I pouted the rest of the way but underneath the facade, I was excited to see my family and to find out who the surprise was.
My three younger sisters were bundled up and waiting at the end of the long driveway by the mailbox when we pulled up. They were jumping up and down as Daddy stopped the truck so I could get out and hug them. Caroline, Liza, and Amelia all seemed like they had grown several inches since I had been gone but I know that was just my imagination. I was in tears when Liza screamed out in excitement that she had started her period the month before. She had traded her pigtails in for long, flowing curls. Caroline told me that Daddy was letting her operate the tractor, and Amelia was going out for the girls’ softball team at the junior high. They were all going to be dating and driving by the time I got out of law school.
I waved Daddy on so that I could walk up the driveway with them. We played catch-up on the latest news. My cousin Lucille was pregnant with her fifth baby; the fifth one without the benefit of marriage. That was no big deal to me because she had been living with her boyfriend, Mathis, for almost twelve years. They also said that Daddy had taken to letting eggs incubate in our dishwasher again. That was disgusting but common in our household during the winter. Visitors would often lose their stomach contents when they found out. My brother Caleb loved to brag about it. Otherwise, it would have just remained our family secret.
When we got up to the house, Daddy already had my bags off the truck and Mommy was on the front porch waiting for us. She looked so gorgeous, and while I had managed to hold back tears to that point, I found myself breaking down. No matter how old a person gets, there is nothing more heartwarming than a motherly hug, and when she wrapped her arms around me, I was like a two-year-old again.
My four brothers came running from the back of the house, engaged in a snowball fight. They were so caught up in their little game that they didn’t even notice me.
“Boys!” Daddy yelled. “Get your tails over here and welcome Mary Ann home!”
They dropped their snowballs just long enough to hug me. My father was raising them tough and, like my father, they didn’t believe in showing a lot of affection.
I was overcome with emotion but the “surprise visitor” was still weighing heavily on my mind.
“Mommy, who’s the visitor?” I asked.
Mommy just giggled, along with the girls, and said, “Come on in the house. See for yourself.”
I walked into the living room and threw my hands over my mouth when I spotted my Aunt Venus standing in the middle of the floor.
“Aunt Venus!” I exclaimed, running to her and sharing an embrace. “It’s been so long!”
“Mary Ann, look at you,” she said, moving slightly away from me and checking me out. “God, you have grown.”
“It’s been at least eight years since I’ve seen you.”
“Nine, to be exact.”
Aunt Venus is my father’s twin sister. She moved away to Chicago right after high school, saying that she couldn’t live in a “backass” town for one more day. Of all my relatives, I had always admired her the most. She took the bull by the horns, made her own decisions, and controlled her own life.
She had attended the University of Chicago on scholarship for undergrad and medical school and had a flourishing private practice. I was so proud of her. I couldn’t wait to pick her brain about many things, but first I wanted to see what they had done to my room.
I was startled to find my room exactly the way I had left it. With the exception of my television being missing, everything was in place. I was sitting on my window seat looking out over the horizon when Mommy appeared in the doorway.
“I know you thought this would be a totally different room by now.”
“I did. Don’t you all need the space?”
“Eventually, but I just couldn’t see breaking down your room the second you walked out the door.” She came to sit beside me. “It’s not easy letting go.”
I laughed. “Tell me about it. It’s so hard for me to be there while all of you are here. I feel like I’m missing something every day. The kids all look five years older, even though it has only been a few months.”
“That’s the thing about kids. One day you’re birthing them and the next day th
ey’re going off to law school.” She rubbed my thigh. “You want to take a nap before dinner? You must be exhausted.”
“Actually, I feel fine but I could use a bath. That bus trip made me feel so dirty.”
“Then I’ll go run the water,” Mommy said as she stood up.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m perfectly capable.”
She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. “Let me be a mother. Don’t deprive me of this moment.”
Daddy had placed my luggage on the bed, so I found something to put on. A framed picture of Clarence was still on my nightstand. I tossed it in the trash.
After my bath, I joined everyone for dinner and the conversation was lively. I could barely get a word in. By the time someone asked me something, someone else was asking me something else, before I could answer.
Aunt Venus was bombarded with questions as well. Tall and gorgeous, she’s always looked more like a supermodel than a doctor. So the boys in particular asked her if she knew anyone famous. She said she knew a few people but only in passing. They seemed bored and moved on to the next series of questions.
It was two days until Christmas and I was disappointed that I had missed the tree-trimming, which is always a major event in the Ferguson household. Daddy and the boys went deep into the woods to select the perfect tree while Mommy, the girls, and I would always decorate with homemade ornaments. We had made at least ten new ones yearly so the tree had to get bigger and bigger. The one they had in the corner of the living room this year was huge and still seemed overcrowded with decorations. The ceramic angel I had made in the fourth grade was in its righteous place on the top of the tree.
We stayed up late into the night, drinking eggnog and making apple cobblers. Mommy always donated some to the church bake sale every year. Daddy passed out with the kids around midnight while Mommy, Aunt Venus, and I sat at the kitchen table playing catch-up.
Mommy finally asked the dreaded question. “How are things with Clarence?”
I gauged her expression and smirked. “Mommy, I can tell by the look on your face that Daddy told you Clarence and I broke up.”
She picked up another apple to peel. “He might have mentioned it.”
Aunt Venus asked, “Isn’t that the young man you’ve been seeing for a long time?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Since high school.”
“So what happened?” Mommy inquired. “I assumed the two of you would get hitched one day.”
I giggled. “Hitched is such an ugly word. To make a long story short, Clarence and I both started seeing other people.”
“Which means you’re seeing someone else?” Mommy asked.
“Yes. His name is Trevor. Trevor Ames.”
“You met him in D.C.”
I nodded. “He goes to Hartsdale with me.” I decided to get all the major data out in the open. “He’s in his third year, top of the class, six and a half feet tall, handsome, originally from Gary, Indiana. He has his own place and he drives a Porsche.”
Aunt Venus snickered. “Damn, I need to hook up with him.”
Mommy looked concerned. “Are you sleeping with him?”
“Mom! I’m grown and I have no problem saying that I am.” That was a bold move for me. The old me would have denied it. “In fact, Trevor has asked me to move in with him next semester.”
Mommy stood up and walked over to the sink to wash a colander of apple slices. “Don’t tell me you plan to do it?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m considering it.”
She sat back down at the table. “Listen, Mary Ann, you know I’ve never tried to tell you what to do. I was happy when you decided to leave the state and follow your dream by attending Hartsdale, but you shouldn’t tie yourself down so quickly.”
“A second ago you were talking about Clarence and me getting hitched.”
“I know, and your relationship with Clarence never really set right with me either. It was just something I accepted. But now that the two of you broke up, you don’t need to jump right into something serious with someone else.”
“I agree,” Aunt Venus said. “Especially in a city like D.C. There are so many men there. You need to take your time and make the right choices.”
“D.C. might have a lot of men but it also has a lot of women competing for the attention of the few available men.” I stared at my mother. “Mommy, are you actually telling me that I should play the field?”
“All I’m saying is you need to enjoy life and not make any hasty decisions. I love your daddy. God knows I do, but he’s the only man I’ve ever been with. My family thought I was crazy, but, I would never take a day of it back. However, there have been times when I wondered what would have happened if I had gotten away when I was younger for even a little while. I know that my heart would have led me back to him. There is no doubt. But it would have been nice to experience other things before we settled down. I’m sure if you asked him, he’d say the same thing.”
“Mary Ann, look at me,” Aunt Venus said. “I’ve never married but I’m having the time of my life. I date on a regular basis but I see no reason to tie myself down to one man. Times are changing.”
I don’t know what made me do it. Maybe it was my desperate search for answers. Maybe it was just pure stupidity. Whatever it was, before I knew it, I was beating around the bush about Alpha Phi Fuckem.
“There’s this group of women who asked me to join them,” I said. “They have this investment club and—”
“That’s great, baby.” Mommy tapped me lightly on the hand. “Every woman needs to save her money. The cost of living is ridiculous these days.”
“True, but they also do other things.”
“Other things like what?”
“Um, they have these special nights where they invite men to—”
“Oh my goodness!” Aunt Venus jumped back and screamed out. “I cut my finger!”
She had a deep gash on her index finger from a paring knife. Mommy jumped up to get some hydrogen peroxide and a bandage. I helped Aunt Venus into the guest bathroom to wash the blood away.
She looked at my reflection in the mirror. “Mary Ann, go to bed.”
“Huh?”
“I said go to bed.”
I was confused. “But why? We were talking and—”
She turned to face me. “Just do as I say and don’t say another word about the group you mentioned. Tell your mother that you’re tired and will see her in the morning.”
“But Aunt Venus—”
She grabbed my wrist. “Alpha Phi Fuckem is a top-secret sorority, as I’m sure you already know. You’re dead wrong for even hinting about it.”
“How do you know about APF?”
We heard Mommy coming toward the bathroom. “I have the bandage.”
“Good night, Mary Ann,” Aunt Venus mumbled.
I did what I was told. I lied to Mommy and said I was too tired to keep my eyes open, and went upstairs. I didn’t sleep a wink that night though. Not one single wink.
24
Patricia
Alejandro and I did our last-minute Christmas shopping together. I still had not mentioned him to a soul. I felt like I might jinx our relationship if I did. Things were going too perfectly and that meant almost too good to be true. I was not taking any chances.
I did allow him to carry some bags up to my dorm room. It was safe because the majority of people were out of town for the winter break. There I made love to him in my bed for the first time. There is nothing more comfortable than doing it in your own bed.
Afterward, I asked, “Do you want to go out for dinner?”
He kissed my shoulder and spooned me. “Actually, I was thinking we could go back to my place so I could cook for you.”
I sat up on my elbows. “You cook?”
“Shit, I’m one hell of a cook. In Puerto Rico, I was cooking complete dinners by the time I was eight. My parents worked all day and night.”
“What do they call Puerto R
ican food? Is there a name for it?”
“Locals call it cocina criolla.”
“Cocina criolla?”
“Yeah. Puerto Rican food is a mixture of African, Spanish, Taino, and American.”
“So what is your specialty?”
“Jeez, I have so many of them. Hmm, let’s see. I make the empanadillas.”
“What are those?”
“They’re little turnovers filled with different meats and spices.”
“Cool.”
He ran his fingers through my hair. “Well? Are you going to let me cook for you?”
“Sure,” I replied, turning to face him and climbing on top. “As soon as you give me some more of that Puerto Rican salami.”
We got back to his place about nine that night, after stopping at a small grocery store that carried everything he would need to do his thing.
I watched him rush around the kitchen diligently preparing several dishes: frijoles negros (black bean soup), fried green plantains, arroz con pollo (chicken with rice), camarones en cerveza (shrimp with beer), and boudin de pasas con coco (coconut bread pudding).
I felt like a stuffed pig after I finished eating at least two servings of everything. It was so delicious.
I helped him clean up. That was the least I could do. Then we curled up in front of his television and watched some Spanish films. It was weird. The films didn’t have subtitles and even though I didn’t have a clue what they were saying, I still found myself caught up in the drama. A few times I asked Alejandro what something meant but, for the most part, I just lived with it. One film about a young girl who commits suicide over a lost love had me in tears.
“You all right, baby?” he asked, cradling me in his arms.
“I’ll be just fine,” I managed to say between sniffles. “This is just too sad.”
“Maybe I can cheer you up.”
Alejandro got up and went into the kitchen. I was hoping he wasn’t about to break out anything else to eat. He returned a minute later with a sliced mango on a plate.
“Baby, I don’t think I can eat another thing.”
“Oh, this isn’t for you to eat.” He grinned. “This is for me to eat off you.”