Bianca claimed she wasn’t quite ready and asked to be skipped, again what Archer silently predicted would happen. When the server turned to him, Archer reminded him about the meal for Lily and then ordered the roasted pork and polenta entrée. Bianca then declared that what Archer ordered sounded divine and she would have the same.
Thankfully, Lily seemed more humored than hurt by her sister’s atrocious behavior. Archer had only met her family in its entirety once before, at a family reunion Ray had organized. It was astonishing how little had changed since then, he mused as the dinner continued.
Rhonda tried to control the conversation, interjecting her opinion at every turn. In her tight, revealing dress, she looked exactly like what she was: a pretentious, middle-aged woman trying too hard to cling to her youth and fit into a level of class where she didn’t belong.
Bianca used every single play in the book in an attempt to flirt with him, maneuvering around Lily without a thought to how it might make her feel. She had followed in Rhonda’s footsteps in just about every way, right down to the skin-hugging red dress she wore.
Beside her, Scott sipped on the Heineken he clearly wasn’t enjoying. He had been mimicking Archer’s mannerisms and inflection when he spoke throughout the evening. Lily had mentioned that Scott worked for a law firm as a runner, essentially an entry-level errand boy. The guy was thirty years old with an MBA. He should have achieved more in his career by now. Archer imagined his inability to take charge or make independent decisions had held him back. Scott took out his latent frustration over this by bossing others around when it wasn’t his place.
An example took place when the servers delivered their food to the table. Scott tried to direct them, making himself look like an ass in the process. The servers were too professional to tell him to shut the hell up and let them do their jobs.
Seeing Lily’s flushed face over her brother’s conduct, Archer again took her hand. She had no reason to be embarrassed. She held onto him until all of the food had been served and everyone’s drinks refilled. Then they settled in to eat.
“Are there any cities you’re looking forward to visiting on the tour, Archer?” Bridgette asked as she twirled some pasta onto her fork.
It was at least the thirtieth question aimed his way by the two youngest sisters. “Sure,” he said. “I enjoy touring. Denver, Nashville, Vegas...they’re all great cities.”
“Do you have a favorite?” Caroline asked.
Swallowing a bite of the creamy polenta on his plate, he replied, “I’m pretty partial to L.A. It’s home, especially now that Lily will be moving in with me.”
He heard the sharp intake of breath from Rhonda and saw the slack-jawed looks from Lily’s sisters. It was the first time he and Lily had shared the news with anyone outside of his parents, wanting House of Archer to have the exclusive on it. Elijah planned to include this big reveal in the brief teaser the show would release on social media the following day.
Archer barely contained a smile over everyone’s reactions as he caught Lily’s eye. “You’ve got to try this polenta,” he said to her as though the room hadn’t grown utterly silent. “It’s delicious.”
Her eyes alight with humor, she leaned over to accept the bite he held out on his fork. “Oh, wow,” she agreed after she finished it. “You’re right. That’s spectacular.”
“It sure is,” Bianca piped up. “You made a great choice on this dish, Archer. You must be a real foodie. Of course, you can afford to eat like this all the time. I’m sure that must be nice.”
Ignoring Bianca’s rambling, Rhonda said, “It’s far too early in your relationship to be thinking about moving in together.”
“Not at all,” Archer disagreed as he sliced into his tender pork. “I’d say eight years is plenty of time to know someone before making a commitment. Wouldn’t you agree, Lily?”
She smiled. “Absolutely.”
“Does that mean we’ll get to come and visit Lily at your house?” Caroline asked excitedly.
Archer shrugged. “It’ll be her house, too. So that’ll be up to her.”
The big news served one good purpose, he mused as the meal moved forward. Rhonda was finally quiet.
He was pleased to see Lily actually eating. It told him he had managed to keep her anxiety at a reasonable level.
The questioning by Caroline and Bridgette continued throughout the meal, peppered with plenty of comments and questions by Scott and Bianca. Archer fielded all of them, his tone never revealing the slow, dark anger that had been building within him since he and Lily arrived.
After the plates were cleared, Lily slid back from the table and took her purse. “I’m going to run to the restroom,” she told him as he also got to his feet.
“Sure,” he said, nodding discreetly to Barney standing just inside the door with Trey. “Do you have room for dessert?”
“I could eat a little something. Surprise me.”
She leaned up to brush her lips over his before turning to leave the room with Barney by her side. Trey closed the door behind them, but Archer followed her progress through the glass. He smiled when he saw the number of heads turning to watch her walk past. It took him a couple of seconds to notice just as many people watching him watching Lily.
His gaze fell on one of the servers, a dark-haired male, standing in the walkway leading to the bathroom, staring at Lily as she passed. When she was out of sight, the server turned back and saw Archer. The overhead lights flashed off his glasses as he pushed them up on his nose. He flushed and hurried off.
“I think I’ll also take a moment to powder my nose,” Rhonda said, getting to her feet.
Archer finally turned his attention back to the room and dropped all pretense of civility. “Have a seat, Ms. Coltrain,” he said. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Rhonda’s lips parted in shock. “I beg your pardon?”
“It’s not my pardon you should be begging,” he said, staring at her until she looked away. “Now sit down.”
After a moment of apparent indecision, she sat. Archer stared into the camera until Spence glanced up at him. Seeing Archer’s expression, he lowered the camera and turned it off.
“I’ll just take five,” he said, scooting out of the room.
Once they were alone, Rhonda snapped, “You have a lot of nerve.”
“I have a lot of nerve?” Archer repeated in a hard voice. “You’re the one who called and texted Lily nearly ten times demanding that we all get together for this dinner, Ms. Coltrain. We both have busier schedules than you can possibly imagine, yet we made the time for this. I even allowed you to choose the restaurant and offered to pick up the tab. And do you know that not a single one of you even greeted Lily hello?”
He looked around the room. Lily’s siblings exchanged uncertain glances. Rosemary looked down at the table, unable to meet his burning gaze. Rhonda merely drummed her fingers on the table as though bored with the conversation.
“I have been sitting here for nearly two insufferable hours waiting for any of you to ask Lily a single question,” he continued. “Or to offer her a single compliment on everything she’s recently accomplished. Or to thank her for getting you tickets and backstage passes to two of my concerts,” he said, looking at Caroline and Bridgette. “Or to apologize for slapping her.”
He stared at Rhonda as he said that. Her posture stiffened as though she was about to respond. Whatever she saw in his gaze had her sitting back in her chair.
“I can tolerate a lot of things,” he said, “but hurting Lily isn’t one of them. So, please, order dessert. Order another fucking bottle of wine. Enjoy the last meal you’ll have with me and Lily until you can learn how to be a proper family to her.”
“We are her family,” Rhonda bit out.
“You’re the woman who gave birth to her,” Archer retorted. “Which means nothing to me right now. Lily has plenty of other people in her life who love her and care for her, beginning with me. She doesn’t need people who us
e her or insult her or hurt her.
“Now the server is about to return and we’re all going to order dessert. I hope you all take what I’ve said seriously, because Lily deserves more than any of you have ever offered her.”
He turned and waved the server and Spence back in, then took his seat and picked up the dessert menu sitting in front of him. The server was all smiles, doing his best to ease the obvious tension in the room. Archer ordered both the mixed berries sorbet and the dark chocolate mousse with amaretto oranges, knowing he and Lily would end up sharing the desserts.
Lily returned as the server left to place everyone’s orders. Archer rose and pulled her chair out for her. She smiled as she sat back down.
“Lord, that was a long wait,” she said as he took his seat. “Three women ahead of me, yet not one guy standing outside the men’s restroom.”
“Don’t you hate that?” Bianca asked.
Lily blinked in surprise. “Yeah. I was half-tempted to sneak into the men’s room.”
“You do not want to use a stall in a men’s room,” Scott asserted. “Am I right, Archer?”
“Most definitely,” Archer agreed, back to his polite tone.
“Eww,” Bridgette said. “Enough bathroom talk. I’ve got chocolate gelato coming.”
Lily choked on a sip of her martini as everyone else laughed. Archer patted her on the back until she got herself under control. Rhonda made a sound like a huff and pushed herself to her feet, striding out of the room.
When Lily gave him a questioning look, Archer shrugged. Either Rhonda was finally going to the restroom herself or she decided to leave. He couldn’t care less which.
“So how about you, Lily?” Bridgette asked. “Are there any cities you’re looking forward to visiting on The Void’s tour?”
“Ah...” Lily hesitated as though unsure why she was suddenly being included in the conversation. “All of them, actually. I’m really enjoying the traveling.”
“But she keeps talking about Fargo because she saw the movie,” Archer offered.
“Where’s Fargo?” Caroline asked.
The conversation continued, this time including Lily. Archer gave the siblings some credit for making an effort after being called out on their behavior. Bianca stopped flirting with him. Caroline and Bridgette took the time to thank Lily for the tickets they would be using at the concert the following evening. Rosemary told Lily how much she enjoyed her posts on social media. Scott asked her how she enjoyed the movie premiere she and Archer had attended.
Rhonda returned to the table and didn’t speak another word. Archer found this perfectly acceptable. The siblings managed to chatter enough to fill her icy silence.
As soon as she and Archer were safely in the car on the way home, Lily turned to him and said, “Okay, who were those people and what did you do with my family?”
He smiled and reached up to rub the back of her slender neck. “Let’s just say I gave them a little pep talk.”
She leaned into his touch. “I don’t know what you said...not sure I want to. But thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She was quiet for a while. He allowed his hand to slide from her neck down to take her hand in his. The pad of his thumb made lazy circles on her palm.
“You drive me crazy when you do that, you know,” she said.
“I know.”
“Whatever you did in the restaurant where you pressed your thumb—”
He did it again now and her words ended on a low moan. The sound had his body instantly responding.
“God,” she breathed. “Is that some kind of erogenous zone? It feels so amazing.”
“How amazing?” he asked, doing it again and eliciting another moan.
“So amazing that I could cry about not being able to jump you when we get home.”
“You know, I believe that I introduced you to this thing called shower sex,” he said suggestively, bringing her wrist up to his lips so he could kiss her there. “I hear it’s great for times like these.”
Her eyes went purple as he stroked her palm again. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Then we’re going to be the two cleanest people on the planet in about an hour.”
* * *
Regina looked around the living room of her L.A. condo where Nikki and Suddenly Something had gathered at her insistence. Everyone had griped over having to spend even an hour of their evening to attend the meeting, but she couldn’t care less how they felt.
Their futures were all at stake.
“I have recently learned that Suddenly Something makes only minimal appearances in the premiere of House of Archer,” she began. “Unless we do something about it now, that’s not likely to change in future episodes and the band will be pulled from the cast.”
“What?” Brandon exclaimed. “You’ve got to be shitting me. What possible content could they have of The Boring-Ass Void to fill an entire episode?”
Pleased to see everyone was on the same page about this news, Regina rose from her chair and started pacing. “Archer and Lily reportedly cultivated most of it. I suspect that’s because filming began just when their relationship developed. The public is already enamored with them as a couple.”
“That’ll wear off quickly,” Nikki said with a look of disdain.
“We’d all better hope so,” Regina responded. “In the meantime, we need to come up with some content ideas of our own. Ideas that will get you all more camera time.”
“More food fights at theme parks?” Brandon sneered.
“I’ll have you know that scenes from that food fight are about all that will be aired in the first couple episodes with you in it.”
Brandon’s expression fell into a scowl. “Fine. What do you want us to do?”
“For beginners, Nikki and Mal, you should be able to come up with some compelling footage. I have the inside scoop that there will be footage of you with Keith, Nikki...mostly after the first episode once you’ve broken up. The producers will eat up any conflict between the two of you from now on.”
“Like the footage of him calling me a selfish bitch at the after-party a few days ago?” Nikki said bitterly.
“Yes,” Regina replied, all business. “Exactly like that.”
Before Nikki could issue a protest, Vic said, “You should try to get Connors back in the sack, Nikki.”
“Hey,” Mal argued.
“Oh, you don’t give a shit,” Nikki snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. “Keith won’t go for it anyway. Once he’s done with a woman, he’s done. I was lucky to hold his interest for even a few weeks.”
Regina weighed that into the ideas she had been shuffling around based on what she had coerced out of Elijah. The breakup between Keith and Nikki had drawn the producers’ interest, particularly with the added element of Sydney Ward. Regina wasn’t entirely sure what content they had gathered, but with Ward now out of the picture, it was likely the footage would never make it to air. There would be no need to introduce the disappearing school teacher who failed to capture Connors’ interest.
“Fine,” Regina said. “So the love triangle is out...at least with Connors.”
“Wait. You want me to make a play for someone else in The Void?” Nikki asked dubiously.
“It’s an idea,” Hunter said with a shrug. “If we’re going to get more involved in the show, we have to get involved with The Void.”
“Or the people close to The Void,” Mal added.
Frowning, Nikki said, “Archer and Noelle are taken and Keith is out. That only leaves Sage and Xander, and they’re not interested.”
“How do you know?” Brandon asked.
“I’ve made some attempts with them before. Anyway, I’ve never seen Sage with a woman—or a guy, for that matter—and the only one Xander seems to have eyes for lately is Lily’s model friend.”
“Believe it or not, you’re not the only female on the planet, Nikki,” Regina said, ignoring Nikki’s responding gl
are. “I’ve got a few ideas I’ve been fleshing out along those lines, but we need something more immediate.”
Brandon shifted in his chair. “What type of footage are they airing from The Void? Maybe we can build off of that.”
“I don’t know everything at this point. Elijah did make several mentions of people involved in Lily’s life, though.”
“That’s because Archer’s life is such a snooze.”
Brandon’s statement was true enough, even with the scornful edge. “In any case,” Regina said, “there was drama brought to the show by Lily’s family and her fiancé. That’s what the producers are looking for.”
“So maybe we need to think of some...interesting people in our lives who can visit us on the tour,” Mal suggested.
Nikki smiled slowly. “You’re damn right. And I think I have a couple of ideas.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“So you’re the one who convinced Sydney to return on the tour?” Archer asked Keith the next day.
They were standing over the large gleaming grill in Archer’s backyard, Keith drinking a Coke and Archer enjoying a beer. Keith was manning the grill since Archer barely knew how to turn the thing on. Lily and Sydney were splashing in the pool with Lex. Keith did his best to ignore them. He knew if he didn’t, he’d be gawking at Sydney in her bathing suit like a lecherous perv.
“Yeah,” he said, staring intently at the burgers cooking over the gas flames. “Sorry I didn’t run it by you before she agreed. I didn’t think about how you’ve been paying her way.”
Archer waved that away as he swallowed a sip of his beer. “And you did this because you realized you want to be in a relationship with her?”
“Yes.”
Keith clung to his patience. He had known the news would be met with questions. How could it not be? To everyone else, he and Sydney had barely spoken to each other on the first leg of the tour. Never mind the fact they were complete opposites. But it still grated to have to explain himself, even to his best friend.