“When did all of this happen?” Archer asked at last.
Some of Keith’s tension eased over the lack of judgment in Archer’s voice. “After Glendale,” he replied, closing the lid to give the burgers a couple more minutes to cook. “I found out that she met Lex a while ago and became friends with her but never mentioned it.”
Archer grinned. “I’m sure that pissed you off.”
“Yeah.”
“But it gave you something in common, right?”
Keith nodded and took another drink of his soda. “After I got over being pissed off, I wanted to find out just how well she knew Lex. Sydney’s been a lot more involved in her education than I imagined. We spent time together talking about it and I realized I liked hearing what she had to say. Surprised the hell out of me.”
He wasn’t about to tell anyone about the reading thing. Not in a million years.
“Have you, ah...?” Archer probed.
“No. It hasn’t been like that.”
“But you want it to be.”
Keith’s gaze moved to the pool where Sydney was laughing and signing something to Lex, whose smile was bright as a sunbeam. Sydney had bought her some kind of fake mermaid tail and Lex had been in the water with it for a couple of hours now. He seriously wondered if they would be able to get it off of her when it was time to leave.
Even as he watched, Lex pushed herself off the ledge where she was sitting and zipped across the pool to Lily, who waited to catch her. Sydney saw him observing them and smiled and waved. He lifted his Coke in response and allowed himself one tormenting glimpse of the sun-kissed skin bared by her one-piece swimsuit before turning back to the grill.
“Hell, yes,” he muttered to Archer, opening the grill and releasing the fragrant built-up smoke.
Archer took another swig of his beer before saying, “Sydney’s different, isn’t she?”
Keith flipped a burger and considered not answering. He still wasn’t comfortable with his own feelings towards her. But he needed someone who might understand to help him get his head on straight.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here, Arch. She’s way out of my league.”
“Nah,” Archer said. “Out of your comfort zone, sure. But I can see why you two would click, especially seeing her with Lex.”
Maybe, Keith silently conceded as he began shifting the burgers around on the flames and opened a package of hot dogs to put a couple on for Lex. “What’s Lily eating?” he asked.
“She just wants the salads Barbara made,” Archer said. “And the strawberry shortcake.”
“Can’t blame her there.”
They fell silent as Keith finished arranging everything and pulled the lid back closed. He stood for a couple of minutes, finishing the rest of his Coke and setting the empty can on the tray attached to the grill.
“Want another one?” Archer asked.
“Sure.”
He waited for Archer to grab refills for both of them out of his outdoor fridge. Accepting the can of soda with a grunt of thanks, Keith cracked it open and took a drink off the top before he asked his next question.
“How did you know it was different with Lily?”
Archer’s eyebrows lifted above his sunglasses. Keith swore if he commented on the line of questioning that he’d deck him. His friend must have read as much in his expression.
“Lily has always been different,” Archer said.
Keith really wanted to end the conversation there. He didn’t discuss his feelings like a woman, for Christ’s sake. But Sydney had him so off-kilter that he needed someone to level him out.
“Yeah, but you weren’t sleeping with her until recently,” Keith pointed out. “Something had to have changed.”
“Are you asking me when I realized I loved her in ‘that special way?’” Archer asked, his lips twitching over Keith’s obvious discomfort.
Keith glowered at him. “Do you really want to fight right here in your backyard?”
Archer chuckled and took another sip of his beer. “I think my eyes were finally opened when I found out Lily was in a serious relationship with someone else. It hit me that I was about to lose her to another guy. It just about killed me. I realized what an idiot I’d been.”
Lifting the lid of the grill, Keith once again began assessing the cooking meat, flipping and rotating as needed. He pulled out the cheese slices from the fridge and set them to the side, knowing he’d need them shortly.
“Almost time to eat,” he called out, receiving a wave of acknowledgment from Sydney.
“You’re burning those hot dogs,” Archer observed.
“Lex likes them that way. Don’t ask me why.”
Archer shrugged that off. Looking again at the pool, he asked, “Are you in love with Sydney?”
Just hearing the words had Keith’s stomach doing an uncomfortable twist. “How the hell should I know?”
“What do you mean, how should you know? You either love her or you don’t.”
“It’s not that simple,” Keith muttered, slapping cheese on the burgers.
Archer shrugged again. “When it’s love, it is that simple. Trust me...you’ll know. And it’ll knock you flat on your ass.”
Keith couldn’t even imagine it.
They dropped the subject as the time came to pull everything off the grill. Sydney and Lily miraculously managed to get Lex out of her mermaid tail. The females were now all walking in and out of the house carrying covered dishes to the table under a floral vine-covered pergola near the pool. Keith brought the platter of meat over to the shaded table and set it among bowls of potato salad, broccoli salad, some kind of bean salad, and a summery fruit salad.
They all gathered around the table and started passing food around. Keith helped Lex build her plate. As he suspected, she wanted two burned hot dogs without buns and big piles of potato salad.
And watermelon, she signed.
Just watermelon? he asked.
She nodded. Sighing, he lifted the bowl of mixed fruit and began picking out pieces of watermelon to drop onto her plate. His gaze lifted momentarily and he saw Sydney grinning at him. He shook his head over her obvious amusement.
“Looks like you’re getting a lot of sun out there, Lily Momilly,” Archer said, reaching beside him to poke Lily on her pink nose.
“Ouch,” she said, swatting at him. “I know, I know. I’ve even got on SPF 50 and I’ve been sticking to the shaded part of the pool.”
“Keep it up and you’ll fry like a potato chip,” Archer predicted as he added toppings to his burger.
Lily groaned and stabbed a green bean. “Why can’t I tan like you, Syd? It’s pale or nothing for me.”
Sydney smiled as she accepted the bowl of fruit salad from Keith. “Maybe we should get you SPF 100 next time.”
“Et tu, Brute?” Lily replied with exaggerated drama.
Archer laughed. The conversation continued, everyone making an effort to include Lex. Keith appreciated that. He knew it could be a pain to try and eat while communicating with one’s hands. Lily and Archer weren’t as well-versed in ASL as he and Sydney were, but they knew enough to keep the conversation going.
He was a little surprised at how easy it all felt. He figured there’d be some awkwardness between him and Sydney considering everything they’d gone through the past few days. After their dinner the night before, he had made plans with Sydney for her to pick him up in her car that afternoon so they could get Lex and all drive together to Archer’s. Plans made, he’d then ridden home separately on his bike. There’d been no other option seeing as he didn’t have a second helmet and he knew Sydney would freeze to death riding with him.
He hadn’t even kissed her goodbye. It hadn’t felt right with Ray, George, and Patrick all standing there watching. But he’d sure as hell thought about kissing her all night after that.
He’d also thought about her proclamation of love.
How could she possibly love him? They
’d known each other for less than a month and had only been engaging in the tutoring lessons for half that. Sure, she’d known about him for much longer thanks to her connection with Lily, but knowing of him was a far cry from actually knowing him.
He was convinced she was mistaking infatuation or attraction for love. Sydney had a soft heart, so that kind of thing was bound to happen. Once she really got to know him—got to know the gritty, dark places inside him—she’d realize the difference.
He chose not to examine how that made him feel.
The conversation turned to the upcoming leg of the tour. They were all flying out to Salt Lake City the next day before bouncing to Denver the day after that. The Void had two concerts in Denver followed by an off day and a travel day before they hit Fargo, North Dakota...which was also the scheduled release date of the first House of Archer episode.
“Are you dreading it, Lily?” Sydney asked.
“I don’t know,” Lily said around a bite of pineapple. “I mean, it’s bound to be brutal if the teasers are any indication, but maybe they’ll show some stuff besides just me being a...” she trailed off and glanced at Lex, who was studiously crunching on the last of her burned hot dogs. “Well, you know. And besides, this is just the beginning. This show has so much potential. We’re already seeing great results.”
Keith was privately amazed at how the show had already impacted the band. Between Lily’s social media work and the attention drawn by the show’s ongoing promotion, Christopher had reported record downloads of their songs. It was exciting news for all of them, especially for Keith, who had been putting money aside to pay for Lex to receive a cochlear implant. She had been asking about one since the first time someone mentioned it to her, telling Keith at least a hundred times how much she wanted to hear his music. He was open to the idea since she wanted it, but it was an expensive process that required both a surgical procedure by an experienced cochlear-implant surgeon and significant therapy with speech-language pathologists and audiologists for Lex to learn the sense of hearing. Megan didn’t have insurance and Jeff’s policy through his work as a legal aid wouldn’t cover it.
Seeing Archer’s concerned expression, Keith reminded himself that the positive results of the show were coming at a steep price, especially for Lily.
“Just remember that the stuff they’ve shown so far has been a load of shit,” Keith said to Lily.
Lex grinned at him.
What? he signed.
Load of shit, she signed back with a giggle.
His eyebrows lifted. How did you know I said that?
I read your lips.
Keith lowered his hands and turned pointedly to Sydney, who gazed up at the pergola above them while humming innocently. He couldn’t decide whether to be annoyed or impressed. He ended up fighting back humor.
Turning back to Lex, he signed, You know you’ll get in trouble for using that word.
She shrugged and gave him an impish grin, prompting Lily and Archer to choke on laughs. Keith should probably have been irritated over his sister’s complete disregard for the warning, but her behavior was so much like him that he just couldn’t.
Don’t tell M, he signed.
Receiving Lex’s nod, Keith directed a hard look at Sydney, intending to drag her away from the table so he could have a few words with her...and maybe sneak in a kiss. She was focused on Lex, signing something to her. He started to interrupt, but his attention was diverted by a bright yellow movement just behind her.
A bee.
In an instant, everything slowed.
Keith stared at the bee without moving, his mind flashing back to Sydney pulling the EpiPen out of her purse after informing him she was deathly allergic to bees. His mind went suddenly, alarmingly blank. His body froze in inaction.
The bee got closer to her, dancing around her head. When it landed briefly on her sunny hair near her shoulder, it unleashed a wave of bowel-loosening terror that Keith had never before experienced. The small insect might as well be a bullet aimed at Sydney’s heart.
The bee sprang off her hair, releasing the thoughts fumbling around in his head.
What kind of bee is it?
Is she allergic to all bees?
How much time do I have to administer the EpiPen before a sting will affect her?
Where the hell is her purse?
And overriding all of those thoughts was one towering realization.
I can’t lose her.
Time seemed to speed back up. There was only one solution.
Keith shoved back from his chair, timed the bee’s flight, and snatched it right out of the air an inch from Sydney’s ear, crushing the insect in his fist.
Sydney jumped in her seat and looked at him with wide eyes. “Is everything all right?” she asked.
Somehow, Keith nodded. His voice was perfectly calm when he said, “Just going to wash my hands.”
He ignored Sydney’s continued bewilderment as well as the open-mouthed look on Lily’s face and Archer’s perceptive stare. Forcing his feet to cooperate, Keith walked through the open glass patio doors and headed to the kitchen sink, thoroughly washing the insect remains from his hand and trying to get his galloping heart to calm the hell down.
Only when he reached for the hand towel to dry his hands did he realize he was shaking. He clutched the edge of the counter, refusing to allow his knees the indulgence of falling right out from under him. His gaze moved to the patio doors when a shadow caught his eye.
Archer strolled in wearing a wide grin. “So, heard about Sydney’s bee allergy, did you?”
“Shut up,” Keith muttered, mortified that his arms now felt unsteady.
“Still not sure how you feel about her?” Archer asked breezily.
Giving up, Keith released the counter and sank to the floor, sitting hard against the kitchen cabinets. His heart was still at full throttle. It didn’t take Archer’s pointed question to finally make Keith acknowledge the truth.
“Fuck,” was all he said.
Chapter Thirty
Sydney drove Keith home after they dropped Lex at her apartment. He had been quiet since they ate lunch, even for him. She wasn’t sure why. They all seemed to have a great time at Archer’s.
Archer and Lily’s, she silently corrected herself. The couple had shared their big news earlier, explaining that the public would learn it later that day via a House of Archer teaser on social media. Sydney had figured this was coming with Lily spending so much time at Archer’s. She was happy for her friend, even if she would miss Lily terribly.
She supposed she and Aria would need to find another roommate. Although her new teacher’s salary would be higher than what she was making as a teaching assistant, it wasn’t enough to cover Lily’s third of the rent even with Aria splitting it. Then again, their lease would be up by the end of the summer. Maybe they should try and find a two-bedroom apartment closer to L.A. There were a few areas they might be able to afford that would be less than an hour’s commute to the school.
Her mind flowed from one thought to the next, giving Keith time to mull over whatever seemed to be distracting him. She didn’t speak until they pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex.
“Is everything all right?” she asked as she parked.
“Sure.”
Studying his profile, she said, “Okay.”
He glanced at her. “I’m just thinking some things through.”
“Anything I can help you with?”
He made a noncommittal sound and shook his head. She debated how to respond to that. This wasn’t at all how she had hoped the afternoon would go.
“Will you be coming to the concert tonight?” he asked.
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether you agree to have sex with me tonight.”
His blue eyes met hers, twin orbs of stunned amazement. “What?”
“I’d like to have sex with you tonight,” she repeated, ignoring her thudding
heart and the censuring voice in her head that sounded distressingly like her mother. “If you agree to it, I plan on using the time between now and when you get back from your concert to finish packing and bring my bags to your place. It would make more sense for us to leave for the airport together in the morning.”
His mouth still hadn’t fully closed. She had never seen him so rattled. If she hadn’t been working so hard to keep her nerves and doubts at bay, she would have found it humorous. Instead, she fought rising disappointment that he wasn’t immediately agreeing with the idea.
“So, what are your thoughts?” she asked after a full minute of silence.
He looked away from her and finally closed his mouth. Clearing his throat, he responded, “Look, Sydney, we haven’t known each other that long.”
Her disappointment gave way to insult. “Keith, how long do you usually know women before you sleep with them?”
His eyes moved sharply back to hers. “That’s not fair.”
“Why not?” She turned in her seat to face him more completely. “Haven’t I been honest with you about my past?”
His brow furrowed. “Yes.”
“Then don’t you think I deserve the same from you?”
He didn’t immediately respond. She saw that he was weighing her question. The disbelief was gone from his expression, replaced by a blank mask she couldn’t read.
“Fine,” he said eventually. “But I’m not having this conversation in the car.”
He opened his door and climbed out. Releasing her seatbelt, she allowed the breath she had been holding to ease from her lungs. It pleased her that he seemed open to discussing this.
Her mother’s voice tried to fill the silence as they walked up to his apartment, asking what in the world she thought she was doing. Sydney had been raised to believe sex out of wedlock was sinful. As an adult, she refused to believe that. She was a good person. She always tried to do the right thing. She couldn’t agree with the idea that she would go to hell because she didn’t enter marriage as a virgin, especially when that choice had already been taken from her.