Just as Anna was about to run for help, he gave a final, appalling scream, and began to shrink. Red tears poured from his eyes and fell, sizzling in the dirt.
Anna could not have described it, given the chance. The closest thing she could think of was a mouse being consumed by a snake, the body writhing inside its predator’s stomach. Parts of Locktar’s insides pushed against his scales, changing shape, changing texture. The leathery scales smoothed and somehow morphed into white skin. His claws and teeth retracted into his body, as did his wings, and his back bulged with the effort of containing them. Anna whimpered in distress.
Finally the form of Locktar somehow disappeared, and instead, huddling and shaking in the dirt, there lay a fully grown, male, human body.
Anna gasped, frozen at the sight.
‘Locktar?’ she whispered. The man looked up at her with blood-red eyes that glowed fiercely, and she gasped again, for there was no doubt in her mind that it was still him. Slowly, unsteadily he stood and faced her.
‘Locktar?’ she said again, and he nodded. ‘How did this happen?’
‘You asked me,’ he said softly, his voice deep and rich and rough all at once, ‘to live. To come back to you. This was the only way.’
‘Oh my god,’ she breathed, staring at him.
He returned the gaze steadily, and Anna started to cry with relief and joy. And that’s when he moved towards her, his movements instinctively animal, deeply wild, to put his human arms around her for the first time.
‘I love you too,’ Locktar said.
Chapter 37
It had been hard that evening for Mia to call her head servant. She didn’t know how to deal with the grief of not remembering him, didn’t know how to behave in the face of his loss. Tonight was different though. Tonight was full of foreboding, and the truth of the matter was, she needed him.
Tye entered her room without knocking. ‘Any news from your friends?’ he asked immediately. Despite everything, Mia felt relief at just having him with her.
‘I can’t contact them. It’s like they’re too busy to notice that I’m even trying to reach them. Something weird is going on, Tye. I feel so isolated out here.’ She couldn’t explain how she knew that something was wrong, but there was a kind of urgent terror inside her. Her friends were in danger, she just knew it.
‘Maybe you could try again now.’
Mia nodded and, sinking into a chair, closed her eyes. First she tried Jane, but there was no response. Then Harry and Anna, but the same again with them. She couldn’t even find Luca’s mind-voice and this made her feel sick with worry. Finally, dreading it but knowing she needed to find out what was going on, she reached out into the night for Jack.
She found him eventually—he seemed to be a very long way away—and she realised that he was asleep. She tried to wake him gently, but before he roused, she had a clear, terrifying glimpse into his dream. His nightmare. Great flying beasts made of fire surrounded him, engulfed him, and the fear he felt was transferred to Mia as though it was her own nightmare. Then he woke, slamming back into consciousness with a shudder, and everything went black.
Mia? he asked, his mind-voice trembling.
Yes, it’s me, she replied, just as shakily. Are you okay? You were having a nightmare!
She could feel his hesitation, his embarrassment. Could feel him putting up a wall. I must have been, he replied eventually. I hardly remember it.
Jack, that was terrifying! Have you had dreams like that before? What made that happen?
Nothing. I’m fine. Are you okay?
Yeah, I’m fine too.
There was an awkward pause. I heard you’re ... you’re the queen of some city, he said, deflated.
Yeah. She tried to laugh. Crazy, huh?
That’s one word for it, he muttered.
Suddenly she was irritated. Jack, I need to know what’s going on. Are you still in Amalia? Where are all the others? Why can’t I contact them? There’s something wrong, isn’t there?
He hesitated. I don’t know, he said finally.
What do you mean? Where are you?
Mia, I have to go. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done, I’m sorry for hurting you, and for making you feel like I didn’t believe in you. I always have. And I’m going to prove it. He paused, something growing heavier with his next words. I want you to know that I love you. I always will. Don’t try to contact me anymore.
Then he was gone.
And Mia had a crystallising moment of terror, because it had sounded suspiciously like a goodbye. There was something Satine had to do. It was becoming clear, once again, that more was needed from her. More acting. More deceit. It seemed to be her lot in life.
She left the dungeon and made her way up the curved stairs. Footsteps came pounding through the darkness from above her, and then her son was standing before her, surprise evident on his face.
‘Altor!’ Satine gasped, flinging herself on him and hugging him tightly.
‘Mother, what are you doing here?’ he asked, returning the embrace.
‘I came on the same boat as Accolon to try and stop him.’
‘Just like everyone else,’ he muttered grimly.
‘I need to talk to you,’ she said. ‘Right now.’
‘Mother, I need to see Jane and Fern, there’s something—’
‘No, now, Altor. I need to talk to you now.’
He caught the look in her eyes and nodded.
‘It is about ... your father.’
Altor stiffened. ‘You want to do this here? On the stairs to the dungeon?’
Satine sighed and quickly led him up to the hallway. Taking a deep breath, looking into his eyes, Satine said, ‘Accolon is your father.’
Altor stared at her. ‘Excuse me?’
Satine pushed her hair back from her face, her hand shaking. ‘I ... I know you thought Leostrial was your father, but that was a lie. Your father is Accolon.’
Altor didn’t say anything for a long time. And then he laughed, a harsh, angry laugh. ‘Well, I’ve gone from being spawn of one evil ruler to the next.’
‘You aren’t ... spawn, Altor. And neither of them are evil.’
‘Whatever. I suppose I should be happy, right?’ There was a steely edge to his voice. ‘And it doesn’t even matter that you’ve been lying to me my whole life, and that you let me think my father was the most evil man in Paragor, instead of one of the ones who saved it, because now it turns out that my real father is just as crazy.’
Satine bit her lip to hold back her anguish. ‘Altor, I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have lied. But I wasn’t sure how to tell you—’
‘You just say the words, mother, and it’s done.’ He paused, his face darker than she’d ever seen it. ‘Did it ever occur to you that maybe I needed to hate the man who ruined me, but couldn’t do it when I seemed to love him at the same time?’
Satine closed her eyes. ‘Oh, sweetheart,’ she breathed. ‘I had no idea you felt that way. If you had told me—’
‘I shouldn’t have had to, mother.’ Altor shook his head, a horrible smile on his face. ‘No, I’m sorry, forget I said that. It doesn’t matter.’ There was something wrong with his voice, his eyes. As though he couldn’t quite hold the horror back. ‘I suppose he doesn’t know either? Did you want to try and use this to help us? I don’t know how it could work, since having me for a son would be bit of a disappointment.’
‘No! How could you think that?’ Satine said, horrified. ‘I love you so much, Altor. I couldn’t be more proud. Tell me what you’re really feeling.’
‘I don’t know what I feel,’ Altor said flatly, every trace of pretence gone from his voice. ‘I have absolutely no idea what to think. How did it happen?’ he asked, then immediately regretted showing any interest at all.
So Satine told him the whole tale. How Accolon had grown up in Burmia, how they had fallen in love, but he’d been forced to flee before she could tell him she was carrying his child. How she’d finally
come to Amalia with Harry, and how Accolon had married someone else.
‘I was distressed,’ Satine said softly. ‘Heartbroken. I didn’t want to live any more. So I offered to go back to Leostrial and spy once again, in the hopes of delaying the war so that Accolon had time to raise a counter-army. Leostrial didn’t kill me. He loved me, and one of the most frightening truths of my life was that I loved him too, despite everything.’ Satine paused and Altor could see she was fighting back tears.
‘I had always loved him, I think, and that was what was so hard for me. What was worse, the worst thing I have endured all my life, was knowing that you were alive, and out there somewhere I could not get to you.’ The tears began to fall then and she looked away. Altor shut his eyes.
‘My mother had always prevented me from finding you, intent on pleasing Leostrial,’ she went on. ‘But one day I had had enough, and I told him, and he sent me to find you. It was ... the best day of my life, Altor. You have to believe me. When he met you, he loved you too. He was your father. Nothing will ever take that away. Nothing will change what you meant to him.’
Altor squeezed his eyes shut harder, and tried not to listen to her sobs. ‘Why are you telling me this? To confuse me more?’
‘No!’
‘I think you were duped, mother. It’s obvious he only pretended to love me so he could use me for his own benefit. How could he have sapped the life from someone he loved?’
‘It wasn’t like that,’ she whispered.
Altor couldn’t digest it all. It was too much. He could leave the palace right now. He could don his cloak and he could disappear into the dark streets, find a tavern, some wine ... he didn’t owe these people anything. The fate of Amalia had nothing to do with him.
His life was a lie. His mother had put him through torture because she couldn’t say a few simple words. His father was alive, and wasn’t responsible for his distortion. He had a sister, and a stepmother. He was the prince of two countries. He was High Prince.
And he was still going to die too soon, only now he had so much more to lose.
‘I’m leaving,’ he said, turning to go, but Satine’s hand on his arm held him there.
‘No,’ she said. ‘Don’t. I need you here.’
‘Why?’
‘Because there’s something the two of us have to do together.’
Altor faced his mother and looked into her blue eyes, now clear of tears. ‘Do you truly want to use this against him?’ he asked very softly.
Just as softly, Satine replied, ‘I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish I could teach you something honest. But I’m a spy, Altor. Good at making people believe what I want them to. I know you understand. I know deception is in your heart too. It’s how you walk through life pretending to feel nothing.’
He was starting to feel sick. Why was she saying these things to him?
She didn’t let go of his arm, nor did she break eye contact. ‘I need that side of you now, Altor. I need your help. We can deal with how angry you are with me later, but right now, I need your deception.’
Ria watched as Bayard helped Luca off the boat. Strong winds and tides in their favour had them arriving at Amalia during the night. It was amazing how far the boats had come in just a few years—they were so fast. A trip from one country to the next could take hours if the winds were right. She glanced up through the dream protector that had been installed on the boat to see shadows passing through the sky, making her shiver with foreboding. She didn’t understand why they were here, just that there was something very bad happening.
They climbed into a carriage that took the three of them to the palace on the hill. The streets seemed normal. Dark and empty at this time of night. But when they came to the palace, it was clear that nothing was normal at all.
They stood at the door wondering what was going on, and why there were people running around everywhere. Luca winced, cowing back against the door. Bayard put his good arm around the man’s shoulders to comfort him, and Ria felt a tremor in her heart as she looked at how close the two of them had become. Connected, somehow, by what had happened. Luca trusted Bayard more than he seemed to trust anyone.
He held onto the Captain’s arm and Bayard led him forward, all the while telling him it was all right.
‘Where are you going?’ she asked, a note of panic to her voice.
Bayard looked over his shoulder at her. ‘I’m taking him to a quiet room. You need to go and find Fern and Jane. Ask them what the hell is going on. Oh, and Ria?’ he added, giving her a level gaze. ‘If you see the king, be very careful what you say to him.’
Lady Tzenna of Sair happened to be one of the people rushing through the great hall that night. Élan had not come home, so she’d made her way up to the palace, thinking to try and find him while scoping out the layout of the palace a bit more. But instead of making her way silently through the corridors looking for the library where her fiancé would be found, she was met with a cacophony of voices.
There seemed to be much confusion about what was going on, and courtiers were rushing around trying to find someone who could give them answers.
Tzenna was about to race to the royal library when all of a sudden she felt something behind her. Not something that she would ever be able to name or identify, but something that made her turn and gaze at the door where three people had just entered.
Her eyes were drawn straight to one boy, and for the first time in many years, Tzenna felt her heart begin to beat.
He was tall and slender, but just then he was cowering, his shoulders hunched, making him look much smaller than he was. He was very young—probably about the same age as she was. Dark hair, pale skin, eyes as black as ebony and frightened—so frightened.
Tzenna looked at him, and even though it seemed to her that everything inside her was shouting at him to look back at her, he never did. His eyes darted around the hall, his jaw clenched. And then he looked down at his hands. There was so much in that look that Tzenna felt herself start to shake.
The man he was clutching, a big red-haired man, held on to him tightly, and then started to steer him through the room. ‘I’m taking him to a quiet room,’ she heard him say over the many voices, and she knew just then that she had to follow him and find out who this man with the haunted eyes was.
Something frozen inside her was, inexplicably, melting
He wasn’t taken far. Just around a corner until an empty room was spotted. Tzenna walked to the door and peered through the crack as the big man sat him down in a chair, then stroked his hair as if he were a child.
Then he left him there, closing the door behind him.
He looked at Tzenna in surprise.
‘Who is that?’ she asked bluntly, her voice trembling.
The red-haired man frowned. ‘Excuse me?’ He had a great deal of bandaging around his right hand, which was in a sling around his neck.
‘Who ... I’m sorry. I wanted to know who the man in that room is.’
He peered at her closely. ‘Why? Who are you?’
‘Forgive me. I am Lady Tzenna of Sair. One of the queen’s ladies in waiting. I ... I need you to tell me about that man.’
‘But why?’
Frustrated beyond measure Tzenna spread her hands wide and considered telling the truth. ‘I mean him no harm,’ she tried.
The man sighed. ‘His name is Luca. He is a friend of mine—and a Bright One.’
‘I see,’ Tzenna whispered. She was still not completely accustomed to the knowledge that other worlds existed. But she’d never heard any rumours that one of the Strangers was touched in the head. ‘He is ... is there something wrong with him?’
The burly man looked at her for a moment. ‘He has been tortured, and his mind suffers because of it.’
Tzenna exhaled slowly. ‘Gods,’ she whispered, pushing her hair out of her face. ‘Then he wasn’t always like this? Will you let me meet him? Just for a short while. Just to talk to him.’
‘He is
not a zoo animal to be gawked at, nor a freak you can tell your friends about!’ he snapped.
Tzenna stared at him. Slowly she said, ‘Such things never even crossed my mind. How can I explain...? I feel like I know him.’ She shook her head. ‘I feel like I was meant to meet him. Please. Let me speak to him.’
The man rubbed his eyes and looked down at her. Finally, he nodded. ‘I am not his keeper. Meet him if you want.’
‘Thank you.’
‘But be careful, Tzenna. He is not himself. He can be dangerous when he has one of his turns. He gets very frightened, and angry because of it. I brought him here tonight because we need him.’
‘Need him for what?’
He frowned. ‘You have noticed the chaos here?’
‘Of course.’
‘There might be violence because of it, and Luca is a master warrior. If only he knew what was going on, he might be able to help us.’
Tzenna felt herself shiver. A new urgency had taken over.
So Tzenna of Sair nodded, thinking that perhaps there was truly a reason for her to be here, if only she could convince Luca to help them. Very slowly she entered the room, shutting the door behind her. He was sitting next to the window, facing away from her, this man who had been tortured. Something she knew a little about.
‘Hello,’ she said quietly, standing in front of the door. He did not move. ‘You are Luca?’ she asked, liking the way his name felt on her lips. ‘My name is Tzenna of Sair. I live in Amalia, not very far from where you can see out that window.’
He didn’t reply and she didn’t know what to do. Slowly she walked closer, dragging a chair over to the window next to him. She followed his gaze. He was looking at the moons, high in the sky. It must have been a little after midnight.
‘Here in Paragor we named our moons after the ancient god and goddess of peace and war,’ she said softly. Something told her that it was important she give him something real. ‘When the world was first forged,’ Tzenna murmured, ‘there was only one god, and he made us what we are today. That is why it is such an impossible mystery as to how we came to name our moons after a god and goddess that did not yet exist.’