He had turned to look at her now, and she was hit full force by his stare. His mouth was wide, his jaw square. He had a heavy brow, and beautiful black eyes that were, this instant, set deep amid dark hollows.
‘The red-haired man said you were a warrior,’ Tzenna murmured, not looking away from his eyes. ‘So you must have seen people die, even killed them yourself. As I understand it, torture makes us relive our darkest memories. Is that what you relive now, Luca? Do you see them when you close your eyes, all the people you’ve killed?’
It was a guess only. A kind of truth about herself, really.
A shadow passed his eyes. He nodded, pained. ‘There is only darkness. I don’t know why nobody else sees it. Violence, and pain and ugliness, everywhere.’ His voice was deep, much deeper than she’d expected. He held up his hands for her to see.
‘I understand,’ she told him. ‘Of course I understand. I’ve had everything I once loved taken away from me. I’ve seen all the darkness you speak of.’
‘Tell me,’ he implored slowly. The yearning in his voice startled her.
‘My family was killed before my eyes when I was a child. I escaped and grew with a purpose. I know revenge is as common as love or hate, but it is my path.’ She didn’t care at all that she’d given herself away. It seemed trivial just then, faced with this boy.
He turned back to look at the moons.
‘What I’m trying to say,’ Tzenna went on, ‘is that I understand. I know why you’re frightened. Why you’re angry. I felt exactly the same way until tonight.’
‘Tonight?’ he repeated. His words were so slow, his gaze more intense than any she’d ever experienced. She could feel him looking right down inside her.
‘Until I stepped into the palace and I realised something.’ Tzenna paused and looked up at the moons in the night sky. Shadows passed across them constantly. ‘Tell me,’ she said, turning to look him in the eyes. ‘When you were tortured, what is it that you thought of to keep yourself alive?’
Luca winced at the memory, but she just waited. He didn’t say anything for a long time, and she had the feeling he was no longer in the room with her, but back in the torture chamber, reliving the horror.
‘Jane,’ he whispered finally, his eyes closed. ‘Harry. Anna. Jack. Mia.’
Tzenna felt herself smile. ‘Your friends. The people you love most. Now tell me how you weren’t killed, Luca. How did you escape?’
His eyes still closed, he moved in his mind to the end. ‘Bayard,’ he breathed. ‘He ... saved me.’
‘He was hurt, wasn’t he?’ Tzenna pressed, thinking of the red-haired man’s wound. ‘He risked his own life to save you.’
Luca opened his eyes and met Tzenna’s, and she knew that he understood.
‘My whole life I’ve felt alone. Until about ten minutes ago, when I saw a boy across a room. There’s darkness in the world, Luca, but there’s so much beauty, too. Don’t you see? There’s nothing more perfect in all the world,’ she whispered, reaching out to take his mangled hand in her own, ‘than the way that we humans love each other. It alone is worth fighting the darkness for.’ A light had been switched on. A brilliant, white light. And it was sitting right in front of him, holding his hand, perfect in every single way, as nothing had seemed perfect to him in a very long time.
Tzenna stood. ‘Your friends need you, Luca. They need you to fight. They need you not to give in. You have to be strong, if not for yourself, then for them.’
With one more glance at his handsome face, she dropped his hand and walked to the door. But his voice stopped her, freezing her in place.
‘Perhaps the gods named themselves after the moons,’ he murmured, and then he smiled. A real smile, full of warmth and humour and all things human.
Tzenna felt a tremor in her stomach as she looked at him. He was alive.
Slowly Luca stood. No longer was there any fear in his stance, no longer did he cringe away from the world. This time he stood straight. He was far taller than she’d expected. The muscles in his back and arms grew taught as he stretched his body for the first time in a long while.
She had thought him crippled; had thought his entire body must be like his hands. But as he stood there, moving as though he’d just woken up, she swallowed hard. He was a warrior, she’d been told. She saw his grace and elegance as he moved, and a new curiosity burned inside her.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said softly, his eyes looking at her attentively now. ‘I’ve not been myself. I haven’t been able to find myself.’
‘And ... now?’ she whispered, moving slowly towards him.
He frowned, still careful, but different all of a sudden. ‘My head feels ... clearer. I can feel ... more normally. I can’t explain. It hurts less. There is less fear. For the first time I’m looking through the darkness to the light at the other side.’
‘Why now?’
He looked at her and he seemed confused then. ‘Because of you,’ he said softly, as though it should be obvious. ‘You’re the first person I’ve been able to see, Tzenna.’
Suddenly her hands were shaking. For the first time since she was a child, she was having a real, physical reaction to something, and it was terrifying her. How was he doing this to her, this man who had spoken not more than a few sentences to her in her whole life? How could he tear her apart after she had worked so hard to make sure nothing ever would again?
‘Luca,’ she whispered, shaking her head.
‘You’re very young,’ he said gently, moving to take her hand. ‘And set on a very dark path. I’m young too, and have a long way to go before I’ll be what I once was. But,’ and here he paused, moving even closer, drawing her into the circle of his arms, ‘if there is one thing I understand, it’s that you and I are in this world to get through it all together, Tzenna.’
She had loved him from the first moment she’d seen him. She loved his torment, and everything about him that hurt. And now she was going to love his brightness, because even though most people couldn’t see it, it was clear to Tzenna that there was so much of it inside him.
And maybe, just maybe, he could bring her own back to life.
Chapter 38
Altor flew down the stairs, two at a time.
‘Well, well, well. Look where you two finally ended up. Can’t say I’m surprised.’
‘Al!’ Jane called, making his heart clench with her smile.
Fern grinned. ‘Actually neither am I,’ he said, and Altor smiled at him in return. ‘It was only a matter of time before someone threw us in the dungeons.’
Altor rested his hands on the bars of their cells. ‘I wish I had good news. But I’ve had an idea, and it’s very, very bad.’
They both stilled slightly as they waited.
Altor took a breath. ‘Okay, I was thinking about all this business with Accolon, and then something occurred to me. I had to go down to the library and threaten the old fools there to help me, but eventually I got the facts straight.’ He turned to Jane. ‘I don’t know how much you know about our history, but a long time ago, when the El~araih first came into the world, they were turned, through sacrifice of blood, to serve the kings of Paragor. But there was a clause. They would serve them, and only them, for the sole purpose of helping them in turn to serve Paragor.’
He waited a moment to let his words sink in.
‘Now, I know you don’t believe Accolon is serving Paragor with his absurd plan. So...’
‘Jesus,’ Jane groaned. ‘How could I have been so stupid to forget that?’ She shook her head, looking angry with herself.
Fern rubbed his eyes tiredly. ‘So because the curse of the El~araih states that they can only serve the king when the king is doing what’s best for Paragor, then it seems to me that the curse has been broken. Therefore we have to ask why the El~araih would still be loyal to Accolon. There’s only one thing in the world strong enough to control them.’
‘The thing that created the El~araih in the first place,’ Altor said.
br /> ‘Which means ... he’s free,’ Jane whispered. ‘The Scourge is free and our High King is working for him.’ They sat there in silence for a long time.
‘It stands to reason that if the Scourge is back in control, he has been the one sending the Valkyries after us, and he is the one making Accolon take down the protectors,’ Jane finished.
‘He’s got some hold over Accolon,’ Altor muttered.
‘It must be through the dreams,’ Fern said. ‘He must be getting to everyone who’s had their dreams attacked.’
‘Not everyone,’ Altor said darkly.
They looked at him. ‘What do you mean?’
Altor sighed and pulled his shirt up to show them his arm.
Jane gasped, looking at the oozing wound.
‘I probably should have told you earlier,’ he said with a wry expression, ‘but I really didn’t want you to worry. When your skin is torn open by a Valkyrie’s talons, it is impossible to stop them from entering your dreams. They tear your flesh, and thus they give you the ability to see them as they really are.’
Jane’s eyes were wide as she listened and Altor had an instinctive desire to put his arms around her and protect her from all of this. Ridiculous, he knew, since she was more than capable of dealing with it on her own.
‘Everyone thinks they are creatures of shadow. But that’s only because your eyes have yet to learn how to see them properly. In your nightmares, the place where they exist more truthfully, they are creatures of fire. Winged beasts of flame that immerse you in an inferno. A bit like hell, I suppose.’
They were staring at him.
‘Altor, this is what you see when you go to sleep?’ Fern asked softly.
Altor just shrugged and smiled. ‘When you’re used to hell, it isn’t that frightening.’ He paused, looking away from their probing eyes. ‘Look, now that you know what my theory is, I have to go.’
‘Go where?’
‘My mother needs me. I’m late already.’
‘Altor!’ Jane’s voice stopped him at the bottom of the stairs. ‘I’m proud of you,’ she said. ‘For figuring this out, and for enduring that wound. You’ve really helped us, you know.’
He looked at her, feeling a thrill unlike any he’d ever felt.
Her son was going to meet her here. Her son, who was now probably even more damaged than he had already been. Because of Satine. Without knocking she entered the room. In an instant a knife was held at her throat.
‘It’s okay!’ she said quickly. ‘I’m not here to harm him. It’s me, Accolon.’
Accolon blinked. ‘Let her go,’ he said quickly and the El~ariah guard stepped down, instantly blending into the shadows of the room.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked, his eyes hard. Satine drew a breath and forced herself to smile sadly. This had to be believable. He might be mad, but he was no fool, and he knew Satine well.
‘I came to talk to you, Accolon. There is something we need to discuss.’
‘If you’re here to try and talk me out of this again, then don’t bother,’ he snapped. ‘Nobody understands, but they will. They will all see.’
Satine couldn’t hear the voice whispering in his ear, but it was loudest in that moment.
She walked towards him, taking a ragged breath and pleading with her eyes.
‘I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry,’ she whispered.
‘Sorry for what?’
‘For what I said to you in Burmia. For telling you that I don’t love you anymore. It was a lie. I was frightened. But, Accolon—I still do.’
For a moment he looked suspicious—but clearly the part of him that wanted it to be true won out, and his face creased into a glorious smile. He walked towards her and Satine went to meet him in the middle of the room, ignoring everything inside her that was screaming at her to get away. She wondered, not for the first time, how she had ever loved this man. But then, he had been very different all those years ago.
‘I’m frightened,’ she said. ‘And you’re the only one I feel safe with.’
The voices in Accolon’s head grew, telling him not to trust her, hissing at him to kill her. But for the first time he managed to block them out as he wrapped his arms around the only girl he’d ever loved.
Satine managed not to shudder at his touch, clinging to him just as he clung to her.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he breathed into her hair. ‘So much. I’m so glad you’ve finally admitted you feel the same way.’
The words raked at her, but she managed to stay silent.
Just then the door opened, and, expecting to see her son, Satine turned. Instead Elixia was standing in the doorway. Inwardly Satine cringed. This was not part of the plan. She hadn’t meant to hurt poor Elixia.
‘Elixia!’ Accolon said quickly, taking a step towards his wife.
She just looked at him, shaking her head. ‘I can’t believe you.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, but she had already left the room. Accolon turned back to Satine and repeated the apology to her.
Satine closed her eyes. ‘This is awful,’ she managed to whisper.
‘She will be all right,’ Accolon said dismissively. ‘There has not been love between us for a long time.’
And whose fault is that? Satine wondered angrily. She nodded. ‘In time she will understand.’
Accolon smiled and was about to embrace her again when the door opened once more and Altor came into the room.
‘What’s going on here?’ Altor asked, a slow, cold smile growing on his face.
‘Accolon, sit down,’ Satine said. Accolon stared at the two of them uncertainly, then went to sit behind his desk. There was an awkward silence as they waited for someone to speak.
‘Can I help you?’ Accolon asked after a moment, directing his question at the boy.
‘That’s a very good question,’ Altor murmured.
‘He is here because I asked him to come,’ Satine said quickly.
‘Let me do the honours,’ Altor interrupted smoothly, smiling at his father, his gaze sharp and cold. ‘How about I start with the reason we’re here. Accolon, my mother’s kept a little secret from you.’
Accolon’s eyes narrowed.
‘Altor, I don’t think we should rush this—’
‘No mother, I don’t see the point in hiding it any longer. I’m not actually Leostrial’s son. I’m yours.’
Accolon frowned and looked at Satine. ‘He can’t be my son!’
‘Accolon,’ Satine interceded quickly.
‘I can’t believe this—it’s true?’ he asked, his voice breaking. ‘How is it even possible?’
‘It happened before you left,’ she said.
They spoke for what seemed like hours, and all the while Altor tried not listen, tried not to care. He didn’t feel as though he would ever laugh again—not truthfully.
But he wasn’t just here to sit and listen. Satine had wanted him here for a reason.
‘What am I going to tell the people?’ Accolon asked at one point. ‘How will they react to this?’
Altor wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t have any people to be worried about it if he took the protectors down. Instead he cleared his face and said, ‘I didn’t want mother to tell you because I didn’t wish for you to think we wanted anything from you.’ His voice was laced with mournful sincerity. ‘I’d never ask anything of you, father. We just thought ... we thought that the time had come for the truth, since we might all die tomorrow. I just wanted my father to know who I was.’
Gods, the words made his skin crawl. His expression was pained and nervous as he looked at his father.
‘He’s scared, Accolon,’ Satine said softly, and Altor could have laughed at the genius of her acting skills. ‘He’s scared, and so am I. We know you have your reasons, but they make no sense to us.’
A flicker of doubt flashed through the High King’s face. ‘You shouldn’t be scared,’ he whispered. ‘Truly, I need you to trust me.’
‘How c
an we, when the creatures try to breach the barrier even as we speak?’ Altor asked with a frightened shudder. ‘If you could just tell us what’s making you so certain that no one will be harmed...?’
Accolon seemed to be deliberating as he gazed at the boy.
‘Please, Accolon,’ Satine whispered. ‘I’ve always hoped that ... we could be a family, the three of us. But we won’t be able to if you take the protectors down.’
Gods, that was a bit much, Altor thought, glancing at his mother. But the king seemed to be lapping it up. His eyes were pools of torment.
‘I’m not supposed to say anything,’ he told them. ‘But I’ve been promised. Promised that if I took down the protectors, the Valkyries would disappear.’
‘Who promised you?’ Altor asked, but Accolon shook his head. ‘Well, why would someone want you to take them down so badly?’
‘It’s a test of obedience,’ Accolon whispered, his eyes staring at something far away.
‘How do you know this person can be trusted?’ Satine asked carefully.
But Accolon just shook his head, a different expression coming over his face. ‘Why are you asking me these things?’ he asked suspiciously.
‘Just worried for you, darling,’ Satine caught Altor’s eye, the signal for him to leave so that she could finish the job. He struggled not to shudder. They were Accolon’s loving family, ready to do anything for him—didn’t he want to protect them in return?
He stood and walked to his father’s side of the desk. Then he knelt to the ground, taking Accolon’s hand and kissing it. ‘I am yours to do with as you please,’ he said. ‘Please don’t let me down.’
Accolon looked slightly taken aback, but then he smiled, reaching down to embrace his son.
Altor left the room, feeling dirty. His skin crawled where the pathetic man had touched him. He didn’t allow himself to think about his mother. She was a grown woman—she could make her own choices.
He wandered through the corridors aimlessly. He didn’t take anything in—all he could think about were the words— he cannot be my son.