Shai twisted the hem of her shirt. “What’s the failsafe?”
“If you lock the three keys together as one, it will open up a portal allowing you to return here.” He touched the faint outline of her key beneath her shirt.
Elchai spoke from behind her, his voice rumbling and low like a thunderstorm. “We have a messenger in the Outerlands. Someone you can trust that will get messages to you if we need to.”
Shai nodded, barely aware of what Elchai was saying as she looked hard at Remiel. “The three keys were for each of us, weren’t they? You, me and Aliah.”
“Yes.”
“Now that there’s only two of us, what happens to the Coalition?”
Remiel wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “We’ll always be the Coalition. You and me.”
“When I’ve completed the assignment, what happens then?”
“You’ll be brought back here and my father will give you your life back.”
“I can’t wait,” she mumbled sarcastically. “So I have one key, and Ava has a second. Where’s the third?”
Elchai took the heavy gold chain from around his neck. A beautiful gold key hung from it. An incredibly bright blue stone glittered in the center of the bow. He put it around Shai’s neck and kissed her forehead.
“This was Aliah’s. It belongs to you now.” The weight of it comforted her. She’d never seen Aliah wear it, which must’ve meant, like her, he hadn’t been ready for the responsibility of the Coalition. Wearing his key would be like having him with her.
Remiel took Shai’s shoulders. “Are you ready?”
How could she answer that? She didn’t even know what to expect.
CHAPTER 38
Shai
A few moments later she was back in the room she shared with Mara. A soft knock at the door startled Shai as she lay on her bed, trying not to think about what might happen during the next few days.
She padded barefoot to the door and opened it just enough to peer out through a two-inch gap. She half expected to see Remiel on the other side of the door, but Kael was standing in the dim corridor with his hands jammed into the front pockets of his dark blue trousers. He wore a soft-looking light green sweater—the color of celery—that made his eyes look brighter than the last time she’d seen him.
“Kael,” she breathed. A mixture of relief and anxiety twisted in her. He hadn’t left yet, but she couldn’t give him what she knew he wanted. Knowing that he was human and she wasn’t created a division bigger than her previous anger with him had.
“I came to say good-bye,” he said softly. His words were like a dagger in her chest. She hadn’t expected a second chance, but seeing him there now, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to say good-bye. Good-bye felt like forever. But any other words she could say seemed inadequate in light of what she was about to do.
“Good-bye, Kael.” She started to close the door, but he shoved his hand in the way.
“Shai, c’mon. I don’t know when I’ll see you again. At least let me apologize.”
She looked at the floor to keep from being persuaded by the haunted look in his eyes. He wouldn’t look at her like that if he knew about her mission. That she was being sent to the Outerlands to kill his sister. And he certainly wouldn’t want her if he knew she wasn’t human.
She steeled herself, bracing her heart against the pain of what she knew she had to do.
“You already apologized. Earlier.”
“But you didn’t forgive me.” He kept his hand in the door, his fingers a whisper away from touching hers.
“That’s what you want? My forgiveness?” She flung the door open all the way, making him jerk his hand away.
“That’s a start.” He stood there, hands hanging limply at his sides like a gangly teenager.
“Well then…you have it. You’re forgiven. Now, if you don’t need anything else, I have to rest.” She put her hands on her hips and watched his expression change from happy to sad.
“I’ve never met anyone who could…” He looked away from her to feign an interest in something behind her.
“Could what?” Her palms grew damp.
He blew out a puff of air before looking right at her. “Drive me this crazy.” He moved toward her and touched the twist of chains around her neck—her key wrapped around Aliah’s—beneath her shirt. Her knees trembled and she silently cursed them for betraying her.
“Have a nice trip back home, Kael.”
Pain crossed his face. She wanted to tell him not to go. That going back to Conley would open up a world of hurt when he realized what he’d read in the Book had come true. That his own sister had essentially killed everyone he loved. But she couldn’t say any of that. So she didn’t. The bitter but brief hurt of this moment would be better than the far deeper agony he’d surely feel when he saw her in the Outerlands and she didn’t remember him. Turning him away now was the kinder hurt. With a prick of agony, she realized that Elchai and Remiel had chosen to do the same thing to her.
Kael dropped his hand and licked his lips, which he often did when he was about to say something but changed his mind. His lower lip was fuller than his top lip. Soft, she remembered. Then she dug her fingernails into her palms for thinking that. She tore her eyes from his mouth and slowly shut the door.
After the sound of his retreating footsteps had died away, she stayed with her forehead against the door for a long time. She breathed in the earthy smell of wood mixed with the lingering scent of the lemony soap Kael used. One day the ache in her chest would subside because she’d forget this moment. She’d forget that it was Kael’s sister she had to kill. And she’d forget all the painful memories of Aliah that clustered inside her and made it hard to breathe. Memories she hadn’t wanted to sacrifice for the plan, but didn’t want to remember either.
She sighed and fingered the keys around her neck. There was still one more thing she had to do. She turned away from the door and made her way to a small table. Mara sometimes sat there and scribbled notes on scraps of old paper that she’d received through exchanges with another sector. Shai looked at the bits of curled paper scattered across the surface of the table. Hopefully Mara wouldn’t mind if she used a scrap to write a message.
She pulled one of the two small wooden chairs from the table and sat down. Mara’s papers fluttered as she breathed a long slow exhale. The yellowed paper resembled the page that Aliah used to keep with him, a page from the Book. A page that made a small crinkling sound every time she moved, where she’d tucked it in her pocket.
Shai picked up a few of Mara’s papers and noted their rough edges like they’d been torn. Each of them looked as though they’d been torn from a larger sheet of paper. She searched through them, looking for a blank piece. Finding none, she sat with her arms crossed on the table and rested her chin. A smaller scrap of paper nearest Shai wasn’t as curled or as yellowed as the others. Shai sat up straighter and picked up the scrap. A squiggly drawing of some sort filled the entire paper. She picked up another one. More drawings filled that one. One by one Shai examined the scraps and found that they all had drawings: wavy lines and jagged lines and a few misshapen circles.
She arranged them all in front of her and realized they weren’t individual drawings at all, but pieces of a whole. All together they formed some kind of map. After several more minutes of arranging the bits of paper, she still hadn’t made any sense of the map, if that was what it was. Some pieces looked as though they fit together with their matching lines, but others looked as though they didn’t belong at all.
Shai had nearly forgotten why she’d started sifting through the bits of paper to begin with and was considering using the back side of one of the scraps when someone knocked on the door. Quickly, she scribbled her note then strode to the door. Ellersly’s bright face peered back at her with wide eyes when she peeked through a small crack in the door.
“Remiel says it’s time.”
“Time? So you know…about everyt
hing?”
Ellersly shrugged. “I know as much as Remiel wants to share.”
“And you trust him? Even though you might not know everything?”
He smiled. “The only thing I need to know is that, like his brother, Remiel cares about me. That’s enough for me to trust him. Just like I trusted Aliah.”
Shai nodded and opened the door wider to let Ellersly in. He watched her while she flitted around the tiny room, doing useless things like tidying her bed and straightening a few cups sitting beside the sink. While her hands were busy, her mind was busier.
This was it. She was leaving her life in the Division to be part of some medical experiment Elchai was inventing. For what? To save a community she’d never felt a part of anyway?
She thought of Sileas, her only friend other than Aliah and Remiel. If Sil was still alive, there wouldn’t be a question whether or not Shai would go to the Outerlands. Shai looked over at Ellersly. She’d go for him too. And baby Jachin.
Shai took a deep breath. What about Eliana? She was somewhere in the Borderless. How could she leave the Division without saying good-bye to the only mother she’d ever known? Even if she never saw Eliana again, she at least had to return one last time to Lael.
“Ell, tell Remiel I’ll meet him at Thunder Manor in a few hours. There’s something I have to do.”
CHAPTER 39
Shai
Entering the portal again turned out to be a little more difficult alone. She thought she knew what to expect, but when green and yellow spots flashed in her eyes, it startled her. At first she couldn’t breathe, until she realized the spots were familiar. She used to see Remiel that way back in Lael, before everything happened.
Within a few moments, deep darkness sucked her in just like it had earlier. She gave in to it, concentrating on counting her breaths, when suddenly her head filled with a roaring noise like a thousand waterwheels. Darkness overwhelmed the colorful spots and stole her sight. She opened her mouth to scream, but her breath was snatched away. It was all she could do to draw in a few rasping, gasping breaths. Then a warm, firm hand gripped hers. Fingers laced themselves between hers and calmed her racing heart.
“Did you think I’d let you go alone?” Remiel’s voice cut through the darkness. She opened her eyes and found herself standing outside. It was midday, but the sun had been blotted out by thick dust and soot that swirled in the air.
Remiel stood beside her, his presence huge and comforting.
“I…I’m sorry, I…just…”
“You wanted to say good-bye.” Remiel’s blue eyes looked into hers. When she nodded, he pulled her hand gently. “Let’s go. We don’t have a moment to lose.”
A cool mist stretched before them. Shai blinked a few times, tightened her grip on Remiel’s hand, and realized they were just outside Lael’s boundary fence. She knew exactly where they were. Thunder Manor was behind them, not more than a few hundred yards—a quick walk through an old path clotted with overgrown trees.
Remiel found the cut in the fence, the same one Aliah had used, and led her into a clearing, where they stood for a few moments surveying her old hometown.
The little community appeared to be abandoned. The skinny silver stream that flowed between the girls’ and boys’ houses used to swell whenever it rained, but it was barely a trickle now. The earth, normally damp and muddy, was cracked and hard. Dust swirled at their feet and stuck to the film of sweat that gathered on Shai’s brow.
“It’s so…empty,” she whispered. She hadn’t expected anyone to be in Lael, since Elchai had told her he’d taken all the children already. The last ones to go into the Outerlands’ safe house were the ones still in Kent: baby Jachin, Ellersly and the others.
All the houses had their shades drawn, as always, and there weren’t any signs of life. A bright red bucket lay overturned by the front step of the closest house, as though the child who had played with it had been interrupted. Maybe when Elchai had come for them.
Remiel said nothing, he only pulled on her hand, compelling her forward.
Just before they reached the first row of houses, the front door burst open and a little girl tumbled out. She ran down the steps, nearly tripping on a filthy dress that was several sizes too big. When she caught sight of Shai still gripping Remiel’s hand, the little girl flew to her and wrapped her skinny arms around Shai’s legs.
“Shai! You came back!”
Shai blinked hard and bit the inside of her cheek. She patted the girl’s dirty yellow curls. “Do I know you?”
The little girl looked up at Shai. Her filthy face had tear tracks on both cheeks, and her eyes looked hollow and sad.
“My name is Sasha. I’m from Conley. I saw you there.” The girl played with a necklace she wore.
She turned to look at Remiel and whispered, “I thought you told me no one was left in Conley.”
“She must’ve escaped the Darkness somehow.”
“So she’s just…just sitting here waiting to die?”
Remiel said nothing.
She surveyed what had become of Lael. At first glance it appeared not much had changed, but then she saw evidence that Sasha wasn’t living there alone. Everywhere she looked, there were shallow holes that had been dug as toilets. Obviously without the sectors providing running water, there were no provisions. The creek would’ve been enough for a few weeks, but with no rain…
“Sasha, when was the last time it rained here?”
The little girl’s thin shoulders made an up and down motion. “It was raining when we got here, but since then…I can’t remember.”
Lael’s weather had been controlled by Brenton, Sector Two, which also supplied water. But with all the sectors destroyed, except for Kent, Lael was left to suffer.
“How long have you been here?”
The little girl looked up at her again. “Lots and lots of sleeps. Some of the kids got sick. I did my best. I didn’t know what to do.” She sniffled and lifted her necklace up to show Shai. “But I found these when we got here. I gave them to the children that followed me here. I thought it might cheer them up after…everything.”
“Dear God.” She looked over the top of Sasha’s head at Remiel as she took the little girl’s hand and went in the house. “The pendants,” she mouthed to him with a sick feeling in her stomach.
CHAPTER 40
Shai
Shai forgot about the pendants when she entered the house. She had to let go of Sasha so she could breathe into her cupped hands. The hot, stagnant air burned her nostrils every time she inhaled. Urine, feces and the smell of unwashed bodies mixed with the stench of decay. Shai kept gagging and wondered how Sasha didn’t seem to be bothered.
When Shai’s eyes adjusted to the dim interior, she noticed in every corner there were kids curled up. She hoped they were sleeping. Remiel put his hand on her shoulder as he walked behind her. The weight of it soothed her jangling nerves.
“Some of the kids are dead,” Sasha said, in answer to Shai’s unspoken question. “We didn’t know what to do with them, and they’re too heavy for me and Grunt to move. So I found some blankets and covered them up.”
Shai choked. Any remaining children were likely sick living in these conditions.
They stepped carefully over the children on the floor and made their way to the furthest bedroom where Sasha led them.
“These are the live ones.” Sasha pushed open a door with one tiny hand and pulled Shai into a room similar to one she’d grown up in. The air was cooler here, not as tainted with death. A window at the far end of the room was open, and a soft breeze ruffled the curtain.
Shai glanced around the room and counted eleven lumps curled under scratchy blankets she remembered so well. Most of the children lay squished side by side on beds meant for one, while a few who couldn’t fit on a bed lay curled on the floor in a corner.
Sasha let go of her hand and ran to a child who must’ve heard them come in. A little head topped with dark matted hair peeke
d out from beneath a blanket on the floor. Sasha got down on her knees and smoothed the other little girl’s hair back from her face.
She walked the perimeter of the room, stooping over every child to check their pulse and brush back their hair. Eleven girls. Twelve, counting Sasha.
“You’ve been looking after them all by yourself?” It was the first time Remiel spoke, and Sasha turned to him with large round eyes.
“No, I couldn’t do that. Grunt is looking after the boys in the house over there.” She stretched her little arm out, one finger pointed across the creek in the direction of the boys’ houses.
Shai screwed up her nose. “Grunt?”
Sasha stood and tucked the blanket under the little girl’s chin before coming to Shai. “He’s scary, but he’s not a bad man.” Sasha smiled. “Grunt’s from the Borderless. He’s got no tongue, so he can’t talk. That’s why I named him Grunt. He’s nice!” The little girl tugged on Shai’s sleeve. “C’mon! I’ll show you! He’s giving water to the littlest boys now. I was just going over there to get my cup back so I could bring some water to the girls.”
Shai looked around for something to lean against. Her stomach soured over the stench in the house, and the thought that a six-year-old girl with a strange, tongueless Borderless man were the only ones caring for the surviving children was enough to make her want to vomit.
Remiel touched her hair and she jumped. “It’s okay. You stay here. I’ll go over with her, find out what the situation is over there, and we can figure this out together.”
She turned grateful eyes on him. She’d smile if she weren’t so sick and exhausted.
There were twenty-three children who were alive. They’d come from each of the sectors, and a few from the Borderless. Shai searched the dirty little faces for Kael’s brother Arlie, but couldn’t find him. She shivered to think what might’ve happened to him.
‘Grunt’ turned out to be the same man she’d encountered months ago in the Borderless while trying to run away from Zev. The dark brown eyes she’d thought so fearsome then were filled with warmth and concern. His gnarled hands were brown and leathery from years of being outside in the elements, and he flapped them about while trying to communicate. He and Sasha had a system worked out. She nodded eagerly, her dirty curls bouncing, and even giggled as the two of them ‘talked.’