I could see now that my journey was as exciting to the fans as it was for me, and that even through some of my worst moments of insecurity, they had not once turned their backs on me. My fans were not simply fans; but instead a group of people who, for some reason or another, decided to unconditionally believe in me.
I soon discovered that these fans were calling themselves “Archies” or “Arch Angels,” which struck me as incredibly funny, but also sweet. The fact that they had gone so far as to call themselves anything at all was flattering. Their enthusiasm for my singing would feed me with a new brand of confidence, and I can safely say that their appreciation for what I was doing is what kept me working so hard.
Of course, it was great to see the rest of my family and although the first night home I had to stay in a hotel in my own hometown, I did get to spend a few hours at home with them in between the events of the day. A lot of my relatives and friends showed up at home as well and they all showed how incredibly proud of me they were. Just the chance to be home and reconnect with everyone felt amazing. After the nonstop craziness of being on the show, it was so nice to just know I was there with my little sisters with their drawing and anime obsessions, Claudia always just being there for me and my brother just being his usual “cool” self. After being pretty much quarantined for so long under the pressure that comes with the show, I was so thankful for the time at home with the people that I loved most. It was truly a breath of fresh air. I realized how much I missed the little things in life, like waking up to have breakfast with my family, or flipping on the TV and watching some program with my sisters for some mindless entertainment, or just going out in the yard and watching the leaves move in the wind. Every day in Los Angeles was completely nuts, so the peace of being home was, as they say, just what the doctor ordered—especially now that we were really coming down to the wire.
During that Utah visit, a Mississippi woman gave me a hundred-page book she had made for me. On the cover it said, “David Is My Hero,” and inside were all kinds of comments and stories from fans who had been moved by my performances. I couldn’t believe that someone would take the time to put something like this together, with so much care and such attention to detail. Some celebrities might be put off by this kind of thing, maybe seeing it as a bit over-the-top. To me, however, it was a gesture of total sweetness, pure love and support. I was grateful that someone would spend even three seconds thinking about (never mind archiving) my accomplishments. I began to understand that I was somehow sharing my newfound recognition with the people who were most affected by my singing, which to me made perfect sense. It was clear that I sang for them just as much as I sang for myself, so it was fitting that we were now sharing it all together.
Life had changed so drastically since I’d left, and sometimes it felt impossible to digest it all. Things were moving so quickly and unexpectedly all the time, there was hardly ever any time to think. Even though winning wasn’t my primary measurement to determine my success on the show, I totally realized it was such a great privilege to have come this far, that whether I won or not, I needed to treat the whole experience with total respect and give my absolute best effort. Otherwise, what would be the point, right? Sleep had become scarce and I was exhausted all the time. There was no denying the level of expectations and there was no hiding from the fact there were people who really wanted me to win and those that didn’t. While it was super-exciting, I also felt vulnerable and misunderstood some of the time, especially when I started hearing that people and the press were spreading false rumors about me and my family and I had to fight very hard with myself to not let those things bug me. I’d remind myself to stay positive even when it seemed like my life was so overwhelming. On the one hand, I wanted to just be a normal kid, but now that I had gotten to this level of the competition, I knew that I owed it to myself, and those that were supporting me to see it through with all I could muster. I would constantly give myself little pep talks so that I would remember my original motivation and intentions, and when I didn’t feel my performance was as good as it could have been after a show or started to feel nervous about how I sounded, I’d simply try to remember the better shows when I had felt on point. I would just try to redirect any negative energy that came up into trying to stay hopeful and optimistic.
The break in Utah was much needed—even though it wasn’t much of a break with all the commotion. But taking that time off before returning to L.A. gave me a chance to think about the experience of being on the show, and to also start reflecting on some of the things I had learned. I started noticing some really neat changes in myself as a singer. For example, I found myself starting to think more deeply about the words that I was singing. This was kind of a new thing for me; because I started singing so young, I usually just connected with the melody and the emotion of the song and kind of took the lyrics for granted. A lot of the time I had sung without even knowing what I was singing about. Now, though, I began to really evaluate what the words meant more and more, which greatly helped me connect my own emotions with the sentiment of the song. I knew that the competition was way bigger than just being able to hold notes and carry a tune. It was about learning how to interpret those lyrics according to my personality and the ability to transmit real feelings.
One of the most memorable examples was when I chose to sing John Lennon’s “Imagine” as a reprise for the finale. As I had sung it before during Top 20 week, I decided to choose it again because it was more than just a song selection for me; it was my way of communicating some of my most personal feelings. The lyrics to that song express a lot of what I care about, and reflect a sense of positivity although some people interpret it as an antiwar and/or antireligion song. To me, it is about letting go of all the negative things in the world and focusing on the positive, which is a pretty basic message, but one that has deep meaning to how I try to guide my own life. Singing that song brought me into a mental space of total peace and tranquillity, a feeling that I could almost see hovering above the crowd that was watching and listening. Both times that I sang that song, I could actually feel its impact; it was another one of those moments that affirmed the magical quality of music and the power that it has to completely penetrate a person’s mind and spirit. I sang two other songs for the finale, but it was “Imagine” that crystallized the whole Idol experience for me. It was exactly what my love for singing is all about.
The reaction of the audience that night told me one thing: They felt what I felt. I would even go as far as saying that it was a life-changing moment for me, because it confirmed what I had always intuitively felt about the power of music. I thought, I’m just this seventeen-year-old kid from Utah, but with two minutes of a song I truly felt something almost electric in the air that touched me and seemed to touch those who were listening. I felt it, and it seemed like the judges felt it and the audience as well—a collective experience of emotion, nostalgia, tenderness, hope and who knows what other feelings that were swirling around in the air that night. I was amazed at how intensely emotional I felt the whole time I was singing, and even more surprised by the way it seemed to affect others. It was like a pure spiritual connection and I’m sure that I’ll always look back on the two performances of that song as some of my most special and profound musical experiences.
TOP 5 SONGS I’VE COVERED
▶ “Imagine” by John Lennon because it’s such a universally powerful song. It affects people in a way that is almost beyond words. It is perfect music straight from the heart, music about coming together and positivity. It was a life-changing song for me, not only in the way I saw things, but also in the way it would affect my career.
▶ “Angels” by Robbie Williams because it was such a big song, and I thought I could really throw myself into it and go for it.
▶ “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” from the musical Dreamgirls because it was the song that taught me what soul was, and how to sing with soul. Tamyra Gray sang it in the semifinals of the firs
t season of American Idol, and I couldn’t stop watching her or singing that song for years. In fact, it was the only song I sang for a long time. It taught me that I could go from opera boy to Motown cat.
▶ “God Bless America” because of the love in that song. I learned it around the time of September 11, 2001, so it resonated with me powerfully. Being able to sing that for other people was also really special, especially when I sang for a group of firemen and their families who had lost loved ones in New York. It was such a touching moment that I was honored to be a part of.
▶ “Castle on a Cloud” from the musical Les Misérables because it was the first song to ever really strike me, and though I was only five I remember it vividly.
I found myself starting to think more deeply about the words that I was singing
I think the energy was so intense that night because the reality was sinking in that the season was almost over. I had dedicated the last six months to this show, and now it was all going to finally be over. It was crazy to think that we were at the end. What was going to happen next?
Along with the feeling of uncertainty, and even a bit of nostalgia, I can’t deny that there was also a deep sense of relief. I thought to myself, There’s nothing more I can do. At this point I definitely had a strong feeling of accomplishment and was kind of ready for the “competition side of things” to be over; no more being compared and judged every single day of my life. David Cook, the other finalist, was also tired of it. It’s like everyone in the country cared about who was going to win except for us. We were just there to do music.
MERICAN IDOL SONGS
TELEVISED AUDITION
“Waiting on the World to Change” by John Mayer
HOLLYWOOD WEEK
DAY 1
“Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley (which was never aired due to licensing issues)
DAY 4
“Heaven” by Bryan Adams
TOP 24 (TOP 12 GUYS)
“Shop Around” by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles.
Performed sixth on February 19, 2008.
TOP 20 (TOP 10 GUYS)
“Imagine” by John Lennon. Performed last on February 26, 2008.
TOP 16 (TOP 8 GUYS)
“Another Day in Paradise” by Phil Collins. Performed second on
March 4, 2008.
TOP 12
“We Can Work It Out” by the Beatles. Performed last on March
11, 2008.
TOP 11
“The Long and Winding Road” by the Beatles. Performed third on March 18, 2008.
TOP 10
“You’re the Voice” by John Farnham. Performed eighth on March 25, 2008.
TOP 9
“Smoky Mountain Memories” by Dolly Parton. Performed third on April 1, 2008.
TOP 8
“Angels” by Robbie Williams. Performed seventh on April 8,
2008.
TOP 7
“When You Believe” by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. Performed first on April 15, 2008.
TOP 6
“Think of Me” by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Performed fourth on April 22, 2008.
TOP 5
“Sweet Caroline” and “America” by Neil Diamond. Performed fourth on April 29, 2008.
TOP 4
“Stand By Me” by Ben E. King and “Love Me Tender” by Elvis Presley. Performed last on May 6, 2008.
TOP 3
“And So It Goes” by Billy Joel, “With You” by Chris Brown, and
“Longer” by Dan Fogelberg. Performed first on May 13, 2008.
FINALE
“Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” by Elton John, “In this Moment” (original composition sent in for the songwriting competition), and “Imagine.” Performed last on May 20, 2008.
David Cook and I together at the end of the American Idol journey
People ask me all the time if I was upset because I didn’t win the title of American Idol. I don’t know why it’s so hard for everyone to understand that making it to the finals with such an amazing singer felt humbling, and I was just honored that anyone would consider me to be at his level. As I said before, I always tried to take away the sense of competition from my motivation, and instead focused on the fact that I was in a great learning experience in the company of great talent. To me, that was already as gratifying as the idea of being chosen to be the American Idol. The fact that I had come this far was a personal accomplishment that went way beyond what I originally thought I was capable of, so the winning part of it just didn’t matter at all.
I even remember telling myself, “David, don’t be upset when you don’t win ’cause it’s going to be fine.” Not “Don’t be upset if you don’t win”—it was clearly “when you don’t win.” How could I know? The truth is that just as I got an overwhelming feeling to go on that first audition in San Diego, I also knew at the finale in Los Angeles that I was not going to win. Don’t ask me how, but I simply knew that it wasn’t going to happen. It was a gut feeling, and by now you probably know where I stand on gut feelings. It’s not that I think I made mistakes, I simply think I wasn’t supposed to win. I wouldn’t have done anything differently, because I sincerely believe that it was not my destiny to win that night. That was the beauty of it: I didn’t expect to win. So when I didn’t, I was totally prepared. I know this may be hard for many people to believe, but I don’t think I even wanted to win. Winning would be too much of a responsibility, and honestly, I didn’t know if I’d be ready.
I actually think I would’ve felt horrible if I had won, because I deeply felt that David Cook was the one who deserved it. Here was this amazing singer and all-around musician, someone I really looked up to and admired not just for his music side, but also as a person. I really respected him and the way he acted throughout the whole time we were together; I have to be honest and say that he was the person who, in my view, showed better than anyone else in the season that he should win. I was genuinely happy for him. And to top it all off, the first thing he said to me after he won was, “Love ya, bud. Thanks for being so awesome.” I could not believe it. That’s exactly what a winner should be, I thought. He showed such maturity in the way he treated me and everyone else on the show. He still treats me with so much respect, and to this day, I am proud of and happy for him for achieving all the success he has experienced.
I’m sure people thought that winning would have meant everything in the world to me, but I look at things a bit differently. I like to believe that you don’t need to reach a certain goal to be happy. I prefer to think that happiness is always there, and that when things don’t go the way we might like them to, it’s a sign from above that something even better is right around the corner. Not winning was almost like a personal lesson on how to stay positive and optimistic. I think that’s hard for people to understand. They wonder, “After all the hard work you put in, how can you be happy to be in second place? Why aren’t you devastated?” And my answer to that is, “Well, why shouldn’t I be happy? Over one hundred thousand people auditioned, and I never thought I would even get past the first round. Now here I am, months later, in front of millions of people, in the Top 2. How could that possibly be a bad thing? I may not have won, but there are about one hundred thousand other people who didn’t win either. And I was the runner-up and have a great feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment knowing I did my very best. How could that possibly be a loss? I made it so much farther than I thought I was going to, and I got to have a musical experience second to none, so at the end of the day, how could I not be completely happy?” But because we live in such a competitive world, I think people have a hard time understanding that. I keep trying to explain that the whole thing for me was essentially about being given the chance to share music with others, because that’s one of the things in life that makes me happiest. That’s why I tried out to begin with. Everything else was icing on the cake.
In fact, I won something very precious on American Idol: the belief that when I sing, people actua
lly enjoy it. As a kid, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that anyone could possibly be into my singing, so when it hit me that many people actually like my sound, it gave me a new sense of affirmation that I would carry moving forward. It was amazing to see that I could share something that means so much to me with other people, and that it makes them feel good, too. I learned that if you do the very best you can, you will eventually get to where you need to go. Sometimes that means you have to step out of your comfort zone; sometimes that means you have to take a chance; and sometimes that means you have to make mistakes. But the mistakes teach you.
Even though I had lost, I had won after all.
The night David Cook won the seventh season of American Idol turned out to be filled with all kinds of surprises. At the end of the show, after nineteen really challenging songs and so many days of some serious working and praying, I was relieved that it was finally over and I could go back to some degree of normalcy. Or not . . .
I went backstage after the show and sat in my dressing room trying to begin simmering down from the rush of the last six months. My studio teacher had a slice of pizza waiting for me because I had basically given up all dairy products for the duration of the show. Dairy always had a weird effect on my singing, so I played it safe and stayed away that whole time. The smell of that perfectly greasy pizza brought with it the reality that I could finally rest. Sure, I knew I was slated to go on the American Idol tour, but not having to compete made that seem like a walk in the park after what we had all been through. I felt more accomplished than I ever had in my life, more sure that I was definitely on the right path. Life as an Idol contestant was over and life as David Archuleta could now finally resume. My dad came in with a worried look on his face, then relief as I gave him a look that reassured him I was totally fine, relaxed and content.