“I’m worried about me, too, to be honest.” She grabbed some clothes and walked behind the beautifully painted dressing screen that was set up near the closet. “Come on in.”
The door opened and closed again. “Our apartment hasn’t blown up yet, if it’s any consolation.”
“I’ll take anything I can get right now.” She bit her lip as she fastened her bra. “What do you think I should do?”
Eli sighed. “I want you to be safe.”
Her stomach churned as she tugged on a pair of sweats. “You think I should do it. Marry some random guy from the Ferry family.” God, that sounded horrific—
“I didn’t say that.”
Galena pulled a T-shirt over her head and wrapped the towel around her dripping hair, then emerged from behind the screen. “So you don’t think I should do it?”
Eli rubbed the back of his head and winced. “I didn’t say that either.”
“You’re not being very helpful.” She climbed onto the bed and couldn’t help but smile as the soft pillows flopped around her.
Eli sat on the edge of the bed. He was still wearing his paramedic uniform—he hadn’t even taken the time to change yet. It had been a long night for him, too. “I don’t know how to be helpful, G. You’ve been given some god-awful choices. You’re the only person who can make them, though.”
“I have to keep working on my vaccine. And I have to do everything possible to complete that work.” She let out a shuddery sigh. “But I can’t imagine it, Eli. I can’t imagine letting some man I don’t even know—” She bit back the rest, having to focus on pushing away the razor-sharp memories that wanted to cut her down.
He took her hand. “What if you trusted him?”
She gave him a cautious look. “Easier said than done. To me, it feels like walking through a minefield. And now I’m expecting someone I barely know to be my partner in that? I mean . . .” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “You saw how Dec responded. He couldn’t even stay in the same room with me, let alone . . .”
Eli squeezed her hand. “I doubt it was you he had a problem with. I know Dec. He’s a good man.”
“I think so, too,” she whispered. “I think I would have been lucky if he’d said yes.”
Eli sat back, the tiniest of smiles playing on his lips. “Yeah? You hit it off with the Chief?”
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m saying that he seems nice.” She bowed her head as her cheeks got warm. “He seemed really aware, I guess. I don’t know how else to say it.” All she knew was that, from the moment she’d met him, he’d given her space when he sensed she needed it. He’d touched her without making it about him. He’d been nothing but respectful and gentle. Oh, and also gorgeous. She could have sworn, for a few minutes last night, he’d been flirting with her. “Yeah. He just seemed aware. Of me,” she said lamely.
Plus, he was a known, and all the other faceless men were not, and that made them a lot more terrifying.
Eli ran his thumb along the back of her hand. “Okay. Fair enough. He seemed aware.”
“But he also said no.”
Eli stared at their joined hands for a few moments, and she could tell he was thinking about something, but she was afraid to ask what. This was awkward enough. Finally, he patted her hand and edged off the bed. “If you want to do this, I’ll support you. Every step of the way. I just want you to be careful with yourself. You’ve been through enough.”
Tears burned her eyes. Eli had been through it right along with her, and he was still by her side. “I’m so lucky that you’re my brother,” she said in a choked voice.
She opened her arms, and he hugged her, accidentally knocking her towel turban off in the process. He stepped back and grabbed it, then laid it flat over the top of her head. Like she was a nun or something. “Love you, Sis,” he said, his eyes shining, determination set in his square jaw. “We’ll get you through this. Trust me.”
He disappeared.
Galena lay back on the pillows. If trusting Eli were all that was required, this would be a piece of cake. Too bad that getting through this required entrusting herself, body and soul, to someone else.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Dec poured himself a few fingers of Jameson and set the bottle back on the counter. He’d gone through half of it in the last hour but still didn’t have the numbing buzz he needed. In fact, his thoughts were sickeningly lucid.
Walking out on Galena and the rest of them had been a dick move, but he’d been short-circuited by Cacy’s suggestion that he marry Galena. What the fuck. He wondered if Galena was actually considering it, just to have the immortality that would make it possible for her to save the world.
He didn’t know whether he would respect her for that or not. On the one hand, it was so unselfish. On the other, it was too unselfish.
A knock on his door had him glancing over at his entryway, cluttered with a couple of pairs of work boots. He reached over and tapped the door monitor, fully expecting to see Cacy, all pissed off, on the screen.
But it was Eli. “Hey, Chief, can I come in?”
Dec sighed and hit the “Unlock” icon. He held up the Jameson bottle as Eli walked into the apartment. “Drink?”
Eli shook his head. “Rough night, I guess.”
Dec chuckled, bitter and low. “What can I do for you?”
Eli looked around, and Dec did, too, trying to see his place with a stranger’s eyes. His weights and gym equipment took up about half of his massive living room, along with a couch and a videowall. The kitchen was about as basic as it comes: sink, stove, fridge, stainless steel counters. No pictures on the walls. The massive windows along the far wall offered a nice view of downtown, but they were tinted, no drapes. Dec wasn’t really into decoration.
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened tonight,” Eli said as his gaze returned to the counter, to Dec’s glass.
Dec took a long sip. “I can’t remember half of it, and I’m trying to forget the rest.”
“That’s too bad.” Eli sank onto a barstool next to him. “Because I really need your advice.”
Dec gave him the side-eye as he emptied his glass, the whiskey burning in his throat in a vaguely pleasurable way. “Shoot.”
“Galena’s determined to do this marriage thing.”
“Will she be able to go through with it?”
“It seems better to her than being maimed or dead,” Eli said. “Which is why Cacy suggested it in the first place, even knowing about Galena’s past.”
Dec’s shoulders sagged. “Yeah. I guess she was right. But still. Galena seems . . . I don’t know. She looked pretty overwhelmed at the idea of being with someone.”
“Probably because she is,” Eli said, his voice taking on an edge. “She’s been hurt worse than any other person I know.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “And I admire her more than anyone else, because in spite of everything that’s happened to her, she’s still on her feet.” Eli looked over at the bottle. “Actually, I think I will have one, if you don’t mind.”
Dec grabbed a glass from the dish rack and slogged in a few fingers of whiskey, then slid it over to Eli. “I’m sorry that you guys have been through so much,” he said quietly.
“You know, don’t you? About the attack. About what happened.”
“I know it did happen, and that’s all.”
“For weeks afterward, I thought I was going to lose her. I seriously thought she was just going to curl up and die on me. She wouldn’t talk or eat or get out of bed.”
Dec’s chest ached at the thought. “But you got her through it.”
“Not really. She did that all by herself. I wasn’t around as much as I should have been. I was so full of rage that I was afraid it would scare her.”
And Dec knew, because Moros had told him, that Eli had taken matters into his own hands. He’d stalked and killed every single one of Galena’s attackers, and that was why it had been possible for Moros to make him a Ker—he’d already
taken human life. Not that Dec blamed Eli. As he pictured Galena’s tear-streaked, bruised face, he thought he probably would’ve done the same. “You must have been there for her somehow, though. You guys are obviously close.”
“I tried. But it was her work that saved her. One day, she just got up and went back to her lab. And that was it. I rarely saw her afterward. She dove back into her research and never came up for air.”
“So if she stops her research—”
“I’m afraid for her. I think it’s how she keeps everything at bay.”
Dec closed his eyes. “She’ll get tired, though. Eventually.” Dec felt tired even thinking about it. Or maybe that was him. Tired all around.
“I think you’re right,” said Eli sadly. “But for now, the possibility of saving even one life is what keeps her going.”
“It seems like it does more than that.” It lit her up inside. And God, it was beautiful to watch.
“It does. It always has. And that’s why she’ll do anything to keep it going.”
Including what she would have to do to become a Ferry. Dec refilled his glass and topped off Eli’s. This was what had gotten to him. He’d been intrigued by Galena Margolis from the first moment he’d laid eyes on her. Sure, he didn’t really know her, not yet, but he knew enough to want to know more. He knew enough, he realized with embarrassment, that he wanted her to like him. Which was stupid. He was a grown-ass man, not a schoolboy. But that hope, that she would like him, that she would trust him, had been smashed when Cacy suggested that he be the one to make her a Ferry—right after he’d seen Galena nearly faint when she found out what it would take. If he agreed to this, he’d be bound to Galena forever, but would he ever have a shot at her heart? Because she wouldn’t be choosing him. She’d be choosing protection. Two different things.
Why the fuck am I even thinking about this? Dec groaned and drained his glass. He must be drunk. He wasn’t usually quite this stupid. The idea of being bound inextricably to another person, especially one who didn’t actually love him, didn’t sound appealing at all, no matter how intriguing Galena might be.
“So who in your family do you think would be the best match?” Eli asked casually, interrupting Dec’s brooding. “Cacy had a few ideas, but I wanted to run them by you.”
“Yeah?” he asked, his voice strained. “Like who?”
“She mentioned someone named Bradan. A first cousin?”
“Bradan? He’s a total player. Treats women like tissues. Cheap and disposable.” Dec had once gotten in a fistfight with the guy on the deck of Bradan’s yacht after Bradan had “playfully” chucked one of his drunk girlfriends over the side and into the harbor. Dec had ended up having to give the poor woman mouth-to-mouth, and Bradan had protested loudly when she vomited up water and gin all over his polished deck. It had been the last straw. Dec had pulverized the guy and gotten himself barred from several family events as a result. Not that he minded. How did Cacy not remember that? “He’s the last person on earth who should be allowed near Galena.”
Eli frowned. “How about Hugh? Another cousin . . . works with Aislin?”
Dec snorted. “Hugh’s a pompous, greedy asshole with the sensitivity of a numbing agent.”
“Um. Carrick?”
“I’d rather spend time with a Shade.”
“That bad? How about Riordan? Cacy told me he’s a nice guy.”
“He is. And he has the personality of a cucumber.”
“Okay . . . Davin? Cacy said he’s into science.”
Dec grimaced, feeling the anger rise inside him. “Only if you consider all the weird cosmetic procedures he’s had done!” What was Cacy thinking?
“So . . . who would you suggest we go to? Who might be willing—and able—to be a decent partner for her? Because of all the admittedly shitty options, this is the one she’s choosing. I’d like it to be as unshitty as possible.” Eli threw back his remaining whiskey in one long swallow. He sighed. “I just want her to be okay. That’s all I want.”
Dec looked away from him. “Me too,” he muttered.
“Then give me a name. Because you’re her first choice, and if you won’t do this for her, then—”
Dec swiveled around so fast he nearly fell off his stool. “She actually said that?”
Eli opened his mouth to respond, but then winced and looked down at his arm. “I have to go. Duty calls.”
Dec was dying to ask more about what Galena might have said to her brother, but he knew that Eli was probably reading a list of names scrawled on his arm, people he was supposed to Mark for death tonight. “Understood. Get going.” If he delayed too long, the pain would set in.
“Dec,” said Eli as he took a few steps back, “I know it’s too much to ask. I know it comes with a lot of heavy consequences. But it could save millions of lives. Including Galena’s. It can’t happen at the expense of her soul, though. She’s really strong, but she’s been through hell and she needs someone who’s going to be gentle with her. Someone who understands what it will take for her to go through with it.”
And with that, Eli vanished.
Dec groaned. It was too much to ask. Way too fucking much. He had a decent life. Sure, he was bored to tears and basically trudging through each day, but that didn’t mean the solution was to hitch himself to a woman he barely knew in order to make her immortal. He’d been engaged before, when he was a lot younger, but he had realized, as the months wore on, that his fiancée was more entranced with his money than she was with him. She’d wanted him to take a corporate job and quit the EMS, right when he was about to be promoted. She wanted to rush the wedding, because she was twenty-four and dying to get locked in looking fabulous for several decades, since Ferrys aged more slowly than regular humans once they hit their twenties. And when Dec had finally seen through the haze of infatuation he thought had been love, he’d also seen that she’d only ever wanted what he could give her—she’d never just wanted him.
And in a way, Galena was the same. Sure, she had a better reason for wanting to become a Ferry, and she didn’t seem like the type who’d be interested in his money, but still. He hadn’t dated much over the last twenty years. He’d given up on finding a woman who could love a regular guy who liked to drink beer with his friends and save people for a living. He didn’t own a yacht or expensive furniture or fancy clothes. And he didn’t give a fuck that his extended family thought he was a disappointment because he’d never bothered to go to college or do anything other than the one thing he’d wanted to do since he was a little boy. He lived the life he’d chosen. He didn’t change for anyone.
Yeah, it was lonely sometimes, but it seemed better than fitting into someone else’s box.
“Fuuuck,” Dec said. His limbs were heavy and tingling from all the whiskey, but he was too restless to lie down. And he couldn’t get Eli’s words out of his head.
It could save millions of lives. Including Galena’s.
When it was put that way, Dec felt like a total asshole for wanting to hold out for someone who loved him for himself. He’d given up on that a long time ago, anyway.
Besides, the idea of any of his cousins putting their hands on Galena made Dec want to put his fist through a wall.
He had to make a decision. He had to make it now. The stakes were brutally high.
His heart tapping out a jittery cadence, Dec pulled his phone from his pocket.
CHAPTER NINE
Galena was staring at the ceiling when her phone rang. She started at the noise and scrambled for the device. She paused when she didn’t recognize the number. “They can’t get you here,” she whispered as her thumb hovered over the “Answer” button and then flicked downward. “Hello?”
“Hey, Galena. It’s Dec.”
Galena blinked at the sound of his voice, deep and slightly raspy. “Hi,” she murmured. “How are you feeling?”
He chuckled, and it sent a little shiver down Galena’s spine. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Her body couldn’t tell the difference. “Back to normal,” he said. “How about you? Sore, I bet.”
“Only a little. Thank you for saving me. Again.” She couldn’t believe she hadn’t said it to him earlier. He’d used his body as a shield. He’d held her head to his chest. He’d taken all the hits so she didn’t have to.
He was quiet for a few moments, then said, “You’re welcome. Did I wake you up?”
“No. I don’t sleep a lot. Especially at night.”
“Where are you? Back at your apartment?”
“No, actually. I’m at Cacy’s.”
“Oh. Um . . . I know this is weird, but can I come over? I want to talk to you, but I’d like it to be in person.”
“You want to talk?”
“Yeah. I was an asshole earlier. So is this an okay time?”
“Yes,” she said, and it came out without thought. Complete reflex. But it felt right. “Yes,” she said again, just to feel in control of it. “I think Cacy and Eli might be . . . er . . .”
She’d heard their voices earlier, and she was guessing they wouldn’t want to be disturbed.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” said Dec. “We can go to the roof for privacy if you want.” He paused. “There are guards posted there.”
Galena squeezed her eyes shut. He seemed to know how to make her feel safe, and it lit a little spark of warmth inside her. “Okay. I’ll be waiting.”
She ran a brush through her hair and put on some shoes. And then, cautiously, she poked her head into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, the first time she’d actually done that on purpose in a long, long time. She was surprised at the sharpness of her cheekbones, and the dark circles under her eyes. She drew back, smoothing her hands over her face. She wished she hadn’t bothered.
She texted Eli so that he would know where she was, then tiptoed out of her room as she heard the elevator outside the apartment ding. Not wanting to disturb her brother and his girlfriend, she opened the door just as Dec raised his fist to knock. Her breath caught in her throat. He’d changed, too. He was just wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but few people could look quite that good in such a basic outfit. His black hair was boyishly messy, and he had a day’s worth of dark stubble on his cheeks. He gave her a sheepish smile. “Ready?”