I walked through the door and it closed with a hiss behind me.
The Chancellor had never been so insistent before. What had changed? What did she know? It had been so many weeks since she’d even called me in, but I’d been foolish to think I was safe. The thought sent a slice of cold dread through me.
Then, suddenly, my breath caught in my throat. Zoe. The Chancellor had called me Zoe. My mind raced. How had she known to call me that name? I must have just misheard her. I was so paranoid all the time, I was imagining things to be anxious about.
That night I sat up against the wall of my quarters with my knees pulled up underneath my chin, waiting anxiously for Adrien to come. We’d been working on my gift every night, even though I still couldn’t seem to control it. I’d managed to levitate a shoe and knock my pillow off the bed, but it was still erratic and imprecise. It was so frustrating. Adrien kept telling me we had to keep trying, but I just felt like a failure.
But I had to keep training. It was the only tangible thing I could do to combat the painful thoughts of Daavd—my determination to help others like him in the future. My daytime life at the Academy was just something I did robotically. All I could think about was getting home for my night training sessions with Adrien.
I stared at my blanket in the darkness while I waited, willing the ceiling tile to move. Nothing. The time seemed to pass with excruciating slowness. Finally, just when I was getting a crick in my neck from looking up for so long, I heard the distinctive metal scratching of the tile shifting.
Adrien’s long legs came down onto the bed and immediately I felt a swell of relief. Adrien would make everything better. He always knew how to fix things.
“What took you so long?” I asked.
“Sorry,” he said. “I had to sneak out and contact the Rez after school. I just got back.”
“Why? What did you need to talk to them about?”
He sat down, not looking at me. “I needed them to check my hardware.”
My stomach churned with worry at his strange mood. He was always so calm, so confident. This nervous Adrien scared me.
He grabbed my hand and smiled weakly. “Hey, it’s nothing to worry about,” he said quickly, finally meeting my eyes and holding my gaze. “Everything’s fine. They checked me out and it’s all normal.”
“What made you think something was wrong in the first place?”
He looked away. “The Chancellor called me into her office today.”
My monitor started buzzing. “She called me in, too.”
He looked up at me in surprise.
“She knows something, doesn’t she?” I tried to keep the panic out of my voice but didn’t quite manage it.
“No.” He let go of my hand and settled himself across the bed from me. “It doesn’t mean anything. She’s been calling you in for routine checkups and interviews since you got back. And from what I can tell, she’s calling all of the student body in one by one to interview, looking for anomalous behavior.”
“But why would she do that if she didn’t know something?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I just don’t know. Come on, it’s time for your allergy therapy.”
I nodded, but frowned as he took the familiar device out of the case.
“Did they get my results back from the blood sample yet?”
He shook his head. “Not yet, but we should know something soon.”
I rolled up my sleeve. He gave me the injection and I watched him as he put the equipment away. He seemed distant, his eyes slightly unfocused.
“Something’s just not right.” I said. “The sooner my allergy results come in and we can organize our escape, the better. I don’t think I’ll be able to breathe until then.” I paused, noticing Adrien’s unusual stillness.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I said quietly. “Is it about the Chancellor?”
For a second he closed his eyes, then he smiled softly at me. “You’re the one person I can’t lie to. You know me too crackin’ well.”
Part of me wanted to ask him why that was. How could I know him so well when I’d only just met him? And why did I also know it was completely true? Instead, I asked, “So what’s wrong?”
He shook his head uneasily. “That’s just it. I don’t know. I can’t remember. I mean, I have this feeling that everything was fine but when I try to remember the specifics of my interview with the Chancellor, it gets all fuzzy. Was it like that for you?”
“No.” I frowned. “I can remember everything. Do you think they installed some kind of memory disrupter in your head? One that even the Rez techs can’t detect?”
“I don’t know. It’s possible. If we can trick their tech, surely they can trick ours.” He let out a loud breath, sounding frustrated. “But they would have to know I was part of the Rez for them to even bother. And if they knew that, why wouldn’t they just grab me and take me to a shunting interrogation facility?”
“But you still feel like something’s wrong?”
He put his arms behind his head and leaned back into the wall, looking at the ceiling. “I just feel like there’s something else, something that’s hovering at the edge of my brain. It’s like all the puzzle pieces are there but I can’t quite put them together.”
He shook his head like he was clearing his thoughts. “I had a vision right after I left the office, so maybe it was just some pre-vision cloudiness.”
“Has that happened before? With the memory loss?”
“Maybe. Having the visions—how they manifest—it’s been changing as I grow into the ability.” He dropped his arms, seeming restless. “I just don’t know. And I hate not knowing.” He looked unsure, afraid almost.
“Hey.” I moved closer to where he was sitting. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”
I lifted my face, forcing him to look at me. “It’s gonna be okay, all right? Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out. Isn’t that what you always say?”
He leaned his head on one fist, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Right?” I said, more insistently.
He finally looked at me, a wan smile. “Right. There’s just so much that could go wrong.” He stopped himself, like he was biting back words. “I can’t lose control on this mission,” he said, his voice a little firmer. He didn’t sound like himself all of the sudden. He sounded like he did when he was at the Academy, all traces of the fear and vulnerability I’d seen moments ago wiped away.
I frowned. “You don’t have to pretend in front of me. You tell me it’s okay to feel emotion. Why won’t you let yourself?”
His face lost some of its hardness for a moment before regaining it a second later. He pulled gently away. “I can’t afford to be weak right now. I used to be so confident and sure of myself, especially of my Gift. But lately … I’ve done dozens of missions before, but something about this one feels different. Like I can’t rely on my visions like usual, and there’s just too many people depending on me.” His voice became vehement. “If anything happened to you because I couldn’t see it in time—”
“Adrien—” I moved closer to him on the bed till we were sitting side by side. I interlaced my fingers in his.
In spite of the distant look on his face, his fingers tightened on mine. “Look, about the vision I had after I went to the Chancellor’s office. There’s another glitcher at the Academy. I guess that’s been bothering me, too.” He looked away.
“At our Academy? Another one?” I asked.
He nodded slowly and we both just looked at each other for a silent moment. We both knew it was strange that so many glitchers would be grouped in one place.
“Was he one of the subjects you saw that day in the files?” I asked slowly.
“No. He’s a recent transfer student. He’s in Molla’s year. I’m not used to having to coordinate so many glitchers at once. This is turning into a really cracked mission. I wish we could all meet together. We could see if they’ve been called into the Chance
llor’s office, see if they noticed anything off.”
“Well,” I said slowly. “Max found a safe place to meet if we needed it. If something’s going on with the Chancellor, we need to work together to figure out what it is. Why don’t I ask Max to set up the meeting place soon, then let you know where and when.”
He looked uncertain for a moment but then slowly nodded his head. “But only if he’s sure it’s secure.”
He turned to go, then stopped and looked back at me, his face soft again.
“Stay safe,” he whispered, his voice intense in the quiet room. “Please, promise me you’ll stay safe. No unnecessary risks. Don’t try to contact the boy and don’t talk to Molla or Max in classes or the hallways. It’s clear they’re watching us more closely than ever.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Please,” he said, suddenly crouching back down and suddenly pulling me into a close hug. “Please,” he whispered into my ear. “Stay safe, for me. Promise?”
I was shocked silent. For a stunned second, I let myself sink in against him. It felt so right to be here. So good to be held by him. Something else, some wild roaring thing seemed to erupt inside me.
“Promise?” he whispered again, his voice ragged, so far from the calm he projected the rest of the time. His arms tightened. I held him back tightly. His closeness made the thing inside me take flight, like I was soaring, up, up, up.
“I’ll try.” I pulled back and looked in his eyes. Our faces were inches apart, and I noticed how long his black eyelashes were, how his strong eyebrows and deep-set eyes made my stomach feel strange inside. I let my eyes trace down his arrow nose to his thick lips.
And then I did what felt like the most natural thing in the world—like two magnets that had been pulled apart finally clicking together again. I leaned in and our lips met in the gentlest touch. I closed my eyes and my mouth melted into his. I didn’t notice lips or teeth or tongues or anything else—I only felt a shining joy searing through my chest.
Adrien’s eyes were open, watching me in what looked like shock. His body was completely rigid. I pulled back. Oh no, I’d done the wrong thing.
Then, so quickly I could barely register what he was doing, he cupped one hand gently behind my neck and pulled me in again. He kissed me, gently at first, but I could feel a desperate longing in him coming through the kiss, like he’d been waiting for this forever.
His other hand clutched my back, pulling me up onto my knees to meet him. I kissed him back and curled my fingers in his thick brown hair, pulling him in even harder. The kissing wasn’t gentle now. It was raw with need, like I couldn’t get him close enough, couldn’t get enough of him at once.
His hands dropped to my waist, kneading my body with his fingers. The touch made sensations I’d never felt before rise up in me. A soft moan came from my mouth and his body shuddered in response. I clutched him tighter, wanting to cement every part of my body to his.
So this was what Max meant about pleasure. Max. The thought stopped me abruptly. I pulled away with a gasp.
Adrien looked at me a moment, a short silent moment. I had turned away, a wet droplet stinging my cheek. Adrien hesitated, then planted a whisper-soft kiss against my cheek: “Good night, Zoe.” He pushed the tile aside and was gone.
I stared after him when he’d gone. I lay down, my face hot with the memory of what had just happened. I put my hands to my cheeks, to my lips, remembering.
Was it wrong? I felt guilty, like I was betraying Max. From the beginning, he’d been so worried about me wanting Adrien instead of him. I’d thought he was overreacting, but what if he’d noticed what I’d been too naïve to see—the electricity that was charged in the very air whenever Adrien and I were together.
I pulled my pillow underneath my head and closed my eyes tight. Sleep. I needed to sleep now. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the feel of Adrien’s lips on mine, of his arms curved around my back clutching me to him. Needing me, wanting me, and the pressure of his chest against mine …
I twisted in my bedsheets, wondering if I’d ever get to sleep.
* * *
I slipped down the hallway a few days later to the meeting place Max had told us about, making sure to follow his directions to stick close to the left-side wall, out of sight of the cameras. I looked at the door in the corner. I tentatively swiped the thin square card Max had given me in front of the glowing access panel. Max said he’d made copies of an administrator’s card, explaining the non-drone admins didn’t have implanted wrist chips like us. They used these external ones.
The door slid open easily and I stepped through.
“Zoe, good.” Adrien ushered me in, then glanced both ways down the hallway before gently shutting the door behind me. My face suddenly flushed with heat. I put a hand to my cheek and hurried past him. Red cheeks meant embarrassed, I remembered, and flushed all over again.
I turned my attention to the room where Max and Molla were sitting. The room was full of crates and chairs and desks. Some were stacked up neatly and others were broken and in disrepair, all under a layer of dust. Max and Molla were sitting on metal chairs at one side of the room and Adrien was across the room along the other wall. Molla looked terrified and clutched Max’s arm.
I looked back and forth between Molla and Max, surprised to see her holding on to him so tightly and even more surprised that he was letting her. He didn’t look exactly thrilled to have her hanging on him, but still—he was making an effort. I smiled at Max, at the same time feeling awash with guilt. He was being so kind to Molla. The memory of last night with Adrien seared through me.
Max looked up at me and I quickly dropped my eyes. I was lying to him. After everything we’d been through, all he meant to me, I was hiding something from him. It was not a good feeling, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. Not yet.
“Hi Molla.” I walked over to her. “It’s so good to see you.”
She looked up at Max, trembling.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You can trust Zoe. She’s the one who contacted you in the first place, remember?”
She nodded and smiled shyly at me. “Yes, I remember.”
“I’m so glad we could all get here together,” I said, taking one of her hands and squeezing it. “It’s important to know we aren’t alone, that there are people out there just like us who will help keep us safe.”
“Just so we’re clear,” Max spoke up, “I’m here because Zoe and I are in this together. And if that means we have to escape with this Resistance, then so be it. But what I want to know is, what exactly will they want from us in return?”
Adrien brought two chairs out, taking one and gesturing for me to take the other. I didn’t like the dynamics of how the room was parceling up, so I grabbed the chair and pulled it closer to the middle of the room. Neutral territory.
“The Resistance wants just what Zoe said—for you all to be safe.”
Max smirked, then leaned toward Adrien, something menacing suddenly in his gaze. “Yeah right. They just want to use us for our powers.”
Adrien inclined his head, staying calm. “I won’t lie. They’re interested our powers, too. But even if you didn’t have Gifts and were glitching, we’d still want to help you.”
Max rolled his eyes. “So how big is it? Exactly what kind of numbers are we talking about?”
“I don’t know the details of all the cells. Only cell leaders are entrusted with that information.”
“Well isn’t that convenient,” Max scoffed. “What do you know?”
“Max,” I said sharply. “Adrien’s trying to help us.”
“Really?” Max stood up. “I’m not so sure. Think about it, Zoe. Your problems started right after he got here—that official calling you in for the diagnostic, the new Chancellor showing up—no one had noticed you before.”
“The way my glitches and powers were behaving, it was bound to happen sooner or later. And to you too,” I said. “To any of us, or all of us. That’s why we
need to work together—”
Max cut me off. “He shows up out of nowhere, but he knows all about you. Then he makes all these perfect promises about a place we can live free and help others. Doesn’t that all seem a little too perfect? Like he’s just telling you what you want to hear so you’ll go along with him? Why can’t you see—”
“Stop it, Max.” My voice was sharper than I intended, but he was speaking such nonsense!
“And what about your powers?” Max said, turning to Adrien, who was still calmly seated. “Visions of the future? Tell me, Future Boy—what do you see? What’s my future?”
“I don’t know,” Adrien said calmly. “I don’t choose what visions I get and I haven’t seen you in them.”
“But you see Zoe,” Max said. “What’s her future?”
Adrien’s eyes flickered over to me briefly. “Her future is whatever she wants it to be.”
“What the hell does that mean? Either you’ve seen it, or you haven’t. You’re so full of your own lies you can’t even keep your story straight.”
“Max, stop it.” I pushed in between the two of them. This wasn’t how I’d hoped this would go at all. “We can only afford to meet once like this, so we have to make the most of it. He knows about another glitcher. That’s why we’re here.”
“He’s a boy in your grade, Molla.” Adrien was visibly making an effort to stay calm. I could tell he was trying to salvage the situation, but was barely containing himself. He looked at Molla as he addressed her but she wouldn’t look up to meet his gaze. Her tiny frame was quivering nervously.
“What’s his power?” Max asked.
“His name is Juan,” Adrien said, finally sounding annoyed at Max. “And his Gift is with music. I’ve seen visions of him playing the cello. He’s phenomenal, a genius, and he can affect people’s mood with it.”
“So he can play some kind of a device called a cello. Why the hell would we risk our lives to rescue him? How does he help us at all?”
“Music is extremely important,” Adrian said. “It’s part of being human. Our ability to express beauty is exactly what this generation is gonna need to sustain ourselves, to feel hope. Creativity, artistic expression, it’s the best of what humans are capable of. Besides, if he can affect moods, he might be able to keep crowds calm, distract others—”