“Whatever.” I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. Two could play at this game. If he thought he could boss me around, I’d show him just how well that wouldn't work.
“Stop it. Stop fighting me.” Ellis stepped close to me and cupped my cheeks in his large hands. “If you don’t want to get treatments, then don’t get them. If you want to get them, then do it. I’ll be here with you either way. You can’t get rid of me, no matter how hard you try."
I looked at him, really looked at his face. I could see new stress lines, but I could also see the resolve shining in them that he would support me, no matter what decision I made. Slowly, I nodded my head. “Okay.”
Ellis closed the door and locked it again before scooping me up into his arms. Lying me down on the bed, he kicked off his boots before climbing into the bed next to me and pulling me close. “I’m never letting go of you. I can’t. I tried. When you left, I tried to tell myself to not come after you, to just let you do what you had already decided, but I couldn’t. I don’t have to convince you to see my way, but I do have to have you in my arms and sleep in the same bed as you. Having you in my arms is more important to me than anything else in the world. If I only have you happy and here for a short time, then so be it. I’d do anything to have you with me, even let you go when the time comes if that is what you want. You might be a stubborn ass, but you’re my stubborn ass."
His words made me smile as I snuggled closer because I couldn’t disagree with his words. There was nowhere else that I was more comfortable or felt more relaxed than I did when I was in his arms. I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again, it was dark in the room and Ellis was breathing deeply beside me. I skimmed my hand up and down his shirt covered chest as I gazed up at his sleep relaxed face. The light shadow along his jaw looked sexy on him and made me realize that he hadn’t been clean shaven when he showed up earlier. He always shaved, unless he was rushed to get somewhere, and in this case, it was to get to me. That made my heart swell. It was right at that very moment that I knew that I loved Ellis. Not in that puppy love, I’ll get over after a day, week or month. It was the kind of love that you’ll never recover from, that kind of love. You know, the love that if things didn’t work out, every other man I came into contact with would be compared to Ellis in every single way because he was so perfect for me.
Running my hand up his chest, I cupped his rough cheek and ran my thumb over his cheekbone. He shifted in his sleep and murmured something I didn’t understand under his breath before settling back into his dreams. Smiling, I slipped my hand down his chest, to his jeans so I could palm him through his pants. I slid my hand along his already half erect penis. I swear the man was never completely flaccid. Rolling on top of him, I kissed his cheek while my hand still moved over him. As I moved down his fully clothed body, I felt him wake and moan. Once I reached his erection that pressed against his jeans, I looked up at him. My ass was in the air as I breathed hot air onto his cock through the thick fabric. I gently bit down as if I could take him into my mouth even though his jeans were in the way.
Ellis’ hand came out of nowhere to slap the side of my ass, making me moan. “Stop teasing me and fuck me already,” he said just before his opposite hand landed on the other side of my ass. I crawled back up his body to breathe in his ear.
“My pussy is so fucking wet right now. You always know just how to spank me.” I whispered into his ear before dragging my tongue up the outer edge. “Did you miss this pussy? Do you want it sucking your cock deep in it right now?” I pressed my hips down against his. Ellis’ fingers dug into my ass as he pulled me harder against him.
“What, and you don’t want this big cock filling your pussy?” Ellis thrust up, bumping me up off him slightly. “Fuck yeah, I want in that tight pussy. Feel your come run down my balls while you ride me. Watch your ass bounce while I pound into you. But if you don’t want the cock, I’ll just have to imagine it.”
I fisted one hand in his shirt and one in his hair. “That’s my cock and I’ll take it when I want it. Now get me naked."
Ellis actually laughed but still reached behind me to grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it over my head. His teeth latched onto one of my nipples as my breasts bounced from being released from my shirt. He bit down hard, which had me clenching my thighs around him as he slid his hands down my stomach to my pants. He pulled on the cord that kept them tight before rolling us so he was on top of me. He pulled back, let my nipple slip from his mouth with a loud pop before moving down the bed so he could slide off my pants and panties.
He kissed the inside of my knee as he stood at the foot of the bed while I laid completely naked in front of him. His eyes drank me in while he licked his lips until he’d made it all the way up my body, meeting my eyes. “What now?"
“Get naked.” I smiled, folding my hands behind my head so I could get a good view. He quickly stripped off his clothes then turned towards me again, hands on his hips. “Now, fuck me.”
A sexy half smile tugged up the side of Ellis’ mouth as he crawled up the bed, over me. Moving quickly, he grabbed both my wrists and had both of them held above my head before I could even fight him. “That was sexy and all, but baby, this is where I take over." His other hand slipped between our bodies to press two fingers into me while his eyes stayed on mine. Those fingers pressed hard and fast into me before sliding out again to slam back into me. Over and over, they rubbed against my g-spot. It felt so good, I was struggling to keep eye contact as I was already about to come on his hand. Just as quickly as he’d taken possession of my pussy, he slipped out of it. Moving to kneel between my thighs, he dragged the head of his cock through my pussy lips slowly then back down again. I lifted my hips trying to urge him into me. Instead, he moved his hips back, taking a nipple in his mouth. Sucking and nipping on it until I was groaning and trying desperately to get him to fill me. When I thought he was finally giving in, he teased me again by sliding his cock through the mounting moisture between my thighs, then moving back again to take my other nipple in his mouth.
“I swear to god Ellis, fuck me now or I’ll never fuck you again.” I yelled at him, digging my nails into my own hands where they were still being held above my head.
“What, like this?” Ellis moved his hand down between my thighs and resumed the tormenting hard and fast rhythm. Crying out, I arched my back. I was going to come I could feel it, just one more second. Then Ellis pulled away again.
“You fucker.” I yelled, bucking against him.
“Ah, but isn’t that the issue. I’m not fucking you.” Ellis smiled at me as I glared at him.
“Get off me. I don’t want to fuck anymore.” I turned my head to the side in an act of defiance since I wasn’t able to get up with him over me.
“You don’t want this?” Ellis once again slipped his cock between my pussy lips. He did it over and over again. Just when I was about to yell at him again, he slipped into me. All the way in, with one deep thrust. My eyes instantly rolled back into my head at the pleasure from just him simply entering me. “Yeah, that’s what you want.”
Ellis slowly slid out and then back in again. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my hands around his back as he pushed so hard into me the headboard hit the wall. His hands went into my hair as he pulled my head back, making my neck available for him to drop kisses on the sensitive skin there. We were both breathing too hard to kiss on the lips anyway. Pausing briefly, he grabbed my legs behind the knees so they rested on his elbows then continued to give it to me hard and deep, exactly the way I liked it. Sliding my hand down, I found my clit and gently rubbed circles around it.
“Fuck, yeah, keep doing that. It’s so fucking sexy seeing you touch yourself.” Ellis groaned keeping his eyes on my hand. It didn’t take long with so much stimulation. I felt my orgasm crash over me and then it just kept going and going. By the time, I opened my eyes again, Ellis had come and was laying heavily on top of me, breathing hard.
“Shit. Tha
t was awesome.” I was finally able to force my lips to move.
“I’d say so.” Ellis laughed a deep masculine laugh. “I think I'll have marks on my back to show how much you liked it for a while.”
“Oh. Oops.” My face felt like it was on fire. “I didn’t mean to."
“No baby. That’s a damn good thing. Mark me any fucking time you want.” Ellis slowly moved off me to lay next to me. He pulled me close again, where we both fell back asleep.
In the morning, I got up and took a shower then ordered some room service for Ellis, knowing he’d be hungry when he got up. Then I climbed in bed with him and gently rubbed his chest until he woke up.
“Hey, time to get up and get ready.” I tried to keep my voice soft and relaxed even though I was anxious. Ellis rubbed his eyes with one hand as he yawned.
“What are we doing today? When I planned our trip, we weren’t supposed to arrive for a while yet. I had a white water rafting trip planned that we missed and Myrtle Beach, you know.” Ellis said gruffly as he slowly woke up.
“I’m sorry we missed the stops.” I frowned.
“I’m not. We can go another time.” Ellis shrugged it off sitting up in the bed. “So, where are we going?”
“The doctor.” I forced a smile. “I decided to at least go in and see what they say, then I’ll decide from there what I am going to do.”
“Not a bad idea,” Ellis nodded. “That way you have the information to make an informed decision.” He added, climbing from the bed. He disappeared into the bathroom but was back out in the blink of an eye.
“That was a fast shower.” I said from the spot at the small dining table; they’d just delivered his food.
“I heard the door.” Ellis sat down at the table they had set up for us to eat, still only wearing a towel around his waist, water droplets scattered over his shoulders. “I was afraid you were going to try to sneak off on me as soon as I left you alone. Instead, you were surprising me with breakfast. Thank you for not disappearing on me and for the food."
“Well, I discovered there is no running from you. You’ll find me so I might as well stay and enjoy all the wonderful benefits of having you around.” I smiled. I’d much rather think about all the ways Ellis made things better than what was in store for the day ahead. Sadly, Ellis ate quickly while I watched. I wasn’t very hungry. I tried to eat a piece of bacon and even that made my stomach upset.
After he finished eating, Ellis dressed then we went down to his bike. I slipped on behind him before he took us to the on base hospital. Standing in the parking lot looking up at the tall tower in the middle of all the smaller buildings, I could feel my palms sweating as everything seemed to close in on me. I would’ve left, right then; I would've turned around and run as fast as I could in the other direction. But Ellis was there. He pulled me close to him and rubbed my back until I had marginally calmed. Tucking me under his arm, he pulled me towards the building. Without a single word, he knew exactly what I needed to get me into the building. That was why I loved him, he knew me almost as well as I knew myself. I don’t know when he’d started doing these things, but I was just starting to notice and appreciate them.
From the moment I walked through those doors, I was numb. I talked to the doctor with a calm composure that I didn’t feel deep inside; still I managed to answer all his questions. All but one that is. He looked up from the computer he’d been taking notes in and turned his chair so he was facing me. His tone changed as he pressed his fingers together. “I see in your chart that your last doctor noted that you refused treatment even though another tumor was found. Is that how you still feel?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t decided,” I said to the doctor, but I looked at Ellis as I pressed my lips together and tried to smile. He gave me a single nod and a tight smile back. “I would like to find out what treatments I would have to go through exactly before I made my final decision. The prognosis, you know, as much as I can before I say for sure.”
“Well, we will need to get new scans done ASAP to see what we are working with. Then we will be able to discuss treatment options,” the doctor answered, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Ellis. He was the reason I was here. I needed him to get through this. I needed the support I could feel coming through his hand that I was clutching in mine. His eyes never left mine either. I knew it was hard for him, but he didn’t let it show.
“Well, then let’s get going. How long do I have to wait to get the scans done?” I asked knowing it was usually a week or more. I wanted to get everything scheduled as soon as possible, get it over with as soon as I could.
“I’m ordering it STAT with your history, we don’t need to let this go unchecked any longer.” The doctor cleared his throat. I know he wanted to scold me for not coming right in, but he restrained himself. He told us that once he got the results in, he would fit me in right away to share the results with me and discuss everything.
Ellis and I were escorted over to where the CT machine was kept by one of the secretaries that worked with the doctor. Surprisingly, they got me in quickly and said the doctor would have the results in a couple hours. I grabbed Ellis’ hand and walked out of the building to the parking lot and kept pulling him along behind me. I kept going until we were at the farthest edge of the parking lot. I turned toward him and hugged him as tightly as I could. His arms smoothed around my waist, squeezing me back.
“I’m so scared.” I whispered into Ellis’ chest.
“Hey, one step at a time, okay? Let’s wait to see what the test says and what the doctor has to say. I’m here for anything you need. Anything." Ellis squeezed me tighter. I stepped back and slid my hands up his chest to rest over where I could feel his heart beating slow and steady. It was the perfect symbol for Ellis. He’d won me over slow and steady. He was solid, reliable and constant if he was anything. He was becoming my everything every moment that passed he meant more to me than the last.
“Ellis…” I looked into his eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Ryan.” Ellis dipped his head to press his lips to mine briefly before going back to simply holding me tightly. The one and only time I told a man that I loved him, he not only repeated it, but knew that I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. My Ellis was too perfect sometimes.
We stayed just like that until I got a message on my phone that the doctor got the results and wanted us to come in. Hand in hand, we made our way back into the hospital to the doctor’s office. He walked us to a different office than the one we had met him in earlier; this one didn’t have an examination table but two regular chairs facing a desk instead. After he sat behind the desk, he pulled up some files on his computer before turning towards us. I knew immediately from the look on his face it wasn’t good. I reached over and grabbed Ellis’ hand.
“Well, I’m glad you came in when you did. As you know from earlier testing, your cancer has returned.” I stared at the doctor, holding my breath. Waiting for the rest of it. "It has spread as we knew it probably would. We found a tumor in your brain as well as the mass in your left lung.” The doctor shifted and sat up straighter in his chair. “Have you been having headaches lately?"
“Yes, all the time. I just thought I needed to drink more water.” I squeezed Ellis’ hand harder as my bottom lip quivered. I clenched my jaw and asked, “What do we do now?”
“We would like to take you into surgery tomorrow to remove the tumor that is in your brain. It needs to be removed before it causes any permanent damage.” The doctor folded his hands in his lap as he continued to face me. “It’s not an easy surgery to recover from, but you are young and strong. I have no doubt in my mind that you will pull through without any complications. I really think you’ll even be lucky enough to not have any lasting side effects from the removal of the tumor or the surgery itself. Once you have recovered enough, we would set you up on a regimen of chemo followed by radiation. As you know, the chemo and radiation will help destroy the malignant tissue in your lung and sav
e you from needing another surgery."
“What is the time frame? I mean, how long until I’d be done with all the treatments?” I asked as I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to hear any of this. I wanted to hide, but the comforting squeeze of Ellis’ hand helped me face the doctor with a straight spine and ask the tough questions.
“It’s really up to your body. If everything goes without any complications or setbacks in your treatments, a couple months, but I think what we need to focus on is taking this one day at a time. One treatment at a time. One decision at a time.” The doctor gave me a reassuring smile, but it did not reassure me.
“I need to think about it.” I stood from my chair, moving towards the door.
“We will be in touch,” Ellis told the doctor as he followed me out of the room and down the hall. He caught up to me just outside of the doctor’s office, in the lobby. “Talk to me."
“I don’t know if I can do this. I wanted to go in there and say I’d do whatever he wanted me to do, just so we can have more time together, but brain surgery, Ellis? That's scary on any day, let alone everything else that follows it.” I wiped at the tears rolling down my face as I paced. “Why can’t I be an average 25 year old? That’s all I ever wanted in life; to be normal, average, not this hot mess.”
“You’ve never been normal or average a day in your life. You never take things laying down. You look at your problems and find a way to get through them; just like you’ll do with this. One step, one day at a time. We can do this. YOU can do this. You are stronger than you know. Look at everything you’ve done in your life. This is nothing compared to all that. Let’s go get this shit taken care of so you can keep giving all the guys hell back home." Ellis held my shoulders as he reinforced my spirits, my mind, my body, my will.