“I push emotions away so I won’t have to deal with them – not him,” I said.
“Willow, we just want you to know that we’re here for you and that we’ll listen to you and not push you,” Felicity said, moving in front of Clarissa.
“What has gotten into you guys? There’s no doubt. I’m not struggling with my emotions. I’ve been through a lot, and I think I have a right to sort through what’s happened to me without my love for Landen being doubted,” I said, louder than intended.
They all grew silent and looked away from me.
“Is this what you guys did for the last three days? Debated on if I’d ‘choose’ Landen or Drake? If that’s the case, I want you to know that hurts,” I said.
“No, no, no,” Stella said, looking up at me. “We spent the last three days at Aora’s side. She told us that we were your council.” She pointed to herself and said, “Fire,” to Felicity and said, “Air,” to Clarissa and said, “Earth,” and to Olivia and said, “Water. We make up the elements that will support you when you’re faced with adversity.”
The others had been nodding along with Stella’s expressive explanation. I moved my head from side to side, frustrated with Aora and Pelhan’s half-guided direction. “You should have just asked her who, what, when, and where - and then all of this would be over,” I said sarcastically.
“They don’t know,” Olivia said in a frustrated tone. “They can tell you what you’ve done before, and they can tell you where to put your thoughts. They can even tell you where the thoughts you’re having ‘may’ lead you - but our fate isn’t sealed.”
“What are you guys so worked up about? Venus is over. Do you think I’m weaker? That with Mars I’ll finally fall?” I asked.
“Aora has her doubts,” Felicity answered.
“Does she?” I said sarcastically.
“She feels that the planets are a gateway for the darkness, that if you’d chosen to go with Drake during the Blue moon or Mercury, the darkness would have overtaken him. The only way both you and he would have survived would be if you truly did love him,” Felicity said.
“And you don’t,” Olivia said. “Aora’s fear - our fear - is that your sympathy for Esterious will cause you to sacfice yourself into his arms. Without true love, you both will die, and Esterious – the entire universe – will fall into darkness.”
“All of you are insane,” I said, frustrated. “I don’t really care about planets or choosing – because that choice was made since before I can even remember. I’m sick and tired of the doubts all of you have.”
“We don’t doubt you, Willow,” Felicity said. “We just want you to know what we were told. Aora said she knew of one life that you had with Drake in detail. You married him because your father wanted you to – for the benefit of your family. She said you sacrificed your heart.”
“The photo we found, that was the life she was talking about,” Clarissa added.
The photo they were referring to was the one that was found in my old house in Franklin. It was the first time I realized that there may be truth to what Drake had said, that we’d loved before. It had caused me so much turmoil.
“No matter what, you have to be with the person who completes you - not the one that you think will benefit the world,” Clarissa said.
My head started to spin; they were driving me crazy. I didn’t know how many times or ways I had to say it; I just wanted them to get it through their heads that there was no reason to doubt me. I was more than sure that whatever decisions I’d made in past lives were what I had to do. I felt overwhelmed; one minute they were telling me to get over who I was - and the next they were telling me not to make the same mistakes I’d made before. Which way did they want it? If they wanted me to avoid my past mistakes, that meant I’d have to deal with who I was – and all of it included the way I felt about Drake then.
Suddenly, they all froze in place, and a mischievous grin spread across my face. I looked over my shoulder and saw Landen standing on the balcony.
He smiled impishly at me. “I thought you might need a break,” he thought.
I carefully maneuvered around the girls and went to the balcony. Landen opened his arms, and I fell into his embrace, hiding my face in his chest. “I don’t know what they want from me,” I said quietly.
“To be happy, I’m sure,” he answered, raising my chin so I’d have to look at him.
“You don’t think I’m hiding anything, do you? That I have doubts?” I asked.
He turned his head from side to side, smiling. “They don’t understand us, Willow; they’re trying to place themselves in our shoes and imagine how they’d react. There’s no one in this universe that’s walked our path. I know you struggle with your emotions - not because you doubt our love, but because you’re a good soul who wants everyone to be at peace, to feel the way we feel when we’re together.”
I turned in his arms and looked at the frozen figures of Stella, Felicity, Carissa, and Olivia. “Maybe you should tell that to my council,” I said, amused by my words.
“Sure, then you can tell mine,” he answered. “Good luck with August, Marc, Brady, and Chrispin.”
“Are they your elements?”
“So they tell me. Apparently, Pelhan was trying to give us some peace; he told them they all had a role and that they should stay in it and not overwhelm us.”
“What about everybody else? Our fathers?”
“They were told to give us only the insight they were clear on, that their main focus is the children. Apparently, with each adversity there’ll be something that at least one of our elements can help us with.”
“If that were true, then we should have taken Olivia - not Dane.” I said, staring at her frozen image.
“Maybe so; honestly, Drake protected you more than Dane did,” Landen said, looking over the balcony.
“He kept me calm; he helped,” I said, defending Dane.
Landen turned and smiled at me. He knew that I’d depended on Dane for strength before I found him. Dane was my best friend.
“I won’t be able to keep Brady home again; his intent is strong,” Landen said.
“He needs to take care of his daughter,” I argued.
“He feels that by taking care of us, that’s what he’s doing.”
Landen turned me in his arms, then leaned down, kissed me, and held me as tight as he could. “I love you, Willow; don’t let them get to you,” he thought.
“I love you.”
He released me and smiled. He then nodded his head, and time resumed. Behind me, I heard Clarissa continue her argument - only to be halted by the shock of not seeing me standing in front of her anymore. Their gaze found me on the balcony in Landen’s arms, and their emotions of surprise and bewilderment made us both smile.
“Ladies,” Landen said, looking at them, then down to me. “We both feel privileged to have you in our lives.” He looked back to them and said, “Willow understands your concerns, and so do I, and we assure you that we know without a doubt that we belong together - no matter what adversities are put in front of us.”
They all stared, unable to respond. I felt their confidence in me and Landen build; our love for each other had them awestruck once again.
Landen squeezed his arms tighter around me and said, “Clarissa, do me favour: burn the canvas; its purpose has been served,“ he looked at me, “right?” I nodded and smiled.
“Let’s go down; we need to leave soon,” he said, putting his shield of energy around me and moving us over the balcony to fall gently to the ground below.
Chapter Fifteen
As we fell carefully to the ground, I saw Brady lying on the ground, gripping the ball. Marc and Chrispin were on top of him. My father, who was watching from the side, smiled up at us; he loved and trusted me and Landen so much.
“I don’t think I’m fond of this new gift,” Brady said as Marc helped him up. “Could you at least make sure I’m not in harm’s way before you disappear?” he fi
nished.
“Harm yes, a tackle - maybe not...sorry, man; I felt pulled somewhere else,” Landen said, amused by his words.
Landen sat us down in front of our house. My mother and Rose were sitting on the steps, and Beth and Aubrey were standing beside them. As Beth stepped closer to me, Landen released me and I hugged her.
“Are you glad you came home?” I said, hugging her tightly.
“I am, but it’s time for me to go,” she answered, extending her arms to look at me.
“You still have a few hours before the sun sets,” I argued.
“Marc is going to take me and Preston to Drake’s estate. We’ll meet you at the palace at sunset.”
“You’re taking Preston back to Esterious?” I said as fear overcame me.
“He just wants to see Drake; his home is here with all of you,” Beth said, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.
I nodded in agreement with her; Preston needed to be here so he’d be guided and protected. It still made me sad that he’d be away from Beth, that she was pulled between her children.
“Chrispin is going, too,” Landen added. “He’ll bring Preston back to Chara. Marc wants to be with us at the Palace.”
Beth’s eyes moved to Chrispin and Marc, who were in mid-play in the side field. Her eyes smiled, and joy overcame her. “To have them all in one room at one time...Livingston said this day would come,” she said, looking to Aubrey, who was at her side.
“I’m going to talk to Marc and Chrispin. I want to make sure they don’t put Drake in a bad mood before we talk to him about Delen,” Landen thought, tilting his head in their direction. I nodded.
In the distance, I could see Nyla and August approaching with Libby and Preston. Beth smiled and made her way to them. I sat down on the steps between Rose and my mother and watched as everyone began to prepare for us to leave again.
My mother let her hand run across my back. “Beth told me that she’d never met someone as strong and brave as you and that we should all be proud of how well you handle yourself when you’re faced with a crisis,” she said.
I smiled and leaned into her.
“You just keep being who you are, my Willow,” she whispered to me.
Rose leaned forward to catch my gaze. “I want to go with you tonight, but I’ve been reassured that my role is here with the children,” she said, smiling.
“I’m sure we’ll be fine. No one seems to have any answers anyway; it would only frustrate you to watch them debate,” I said bleakly.
Rose nodded and smiled. “I understand that you saw a different side of Perodine, that her image of an immortal was replaced with one of a woman who’s simply lived a long time,” she said to me.
I nodded and looked at my mother; I knew if I were her, I’d be jealous of another woman claiming that I was her child in another life. But my mother, Grace Haywood, lived up to her name and was graceful with the thought of Perodine, as well as the thought of Libby belonging to me and Landen in another life. She cherished the role of being our mother in this life, to be our support.
“I’d suggest that you and Landen walk the streets of Delen before you go into the Palace so they’ll see that you’re still there for them. Tomorrow, we’ll all go and help them continue to build a new life,” Rose said.
“That’s a good idea. I can imagine they’re a little nervous,” I said.
Olivia and Stella opened the front door. I turned to look at them and couldn’t help smiling at their awestruck expression.
“We didn’t mean to scare all of you; he just thought I was getting overwhelmed,” I said to them.
Olivia nodded. “Honestly, I’m surprised it took him that long to stop us,” she said, looking past me to the field.
I turned and smiled at Landen. August and Nyla had met him, Chrispin, and Marc in the field.
“We’re going to say goodbye,” Stella said as she stepped carefully around Rose.
“We’ll be back tonight,” I promised her. She nodded but didn’t turn. Olivia followed her.
“Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat before you leave?” my mother asked as she stood.
“No. I ate a little while ago. Thanks for asking,” I said, smiling up at her.
She leaned down and hugged me. “I’m going to take Libby home and give you your space. Be careful tonight,” she said to me.
“Do you have room for two more?” Rose asked, standing.
“We’d love to have you and Karsten over,” my mother said, smiling.
I watched as Libby hugged Preston goodbye, then ran to me. I tried to focus only on her emotion; she was blissful, carefree. I admired her so much. She came to my, side short of breath from her run. “I would think you’d be sad; I don’t think you and Preston have been apart since we brought him here,” I said, reaching my arms around her.
“He’ll be right back; he just wants to say hi and give his brother a hug,” Libby answered.
I looked in Preston’s direction; Marc had picked him up and was carrying him to the passage, and Chrispin and Beth were at his side. August and Nyla were a few feet behind them. I could feel the excitement coming from Preston, the fears coming from Chrispin and Marc, and the hope coming from Beth.
“He does love his big brother, doesn’t he?” I said, agreeing with her.
“We love everybody, Willow; that’s how it’s supposed to be,” she said, looking at me like I should already know that.
“You’re right,” I said, smiling at the wisdom of an innocent child.
“Tell Willow goodbye, Libby. You can help me and Rose make a really big cake for Willow,” my mother said, extending her arms out in each direction to demonstrate how big it could be.
Libby giggled and shook her from head side to side. “Her birthday was yesterday; she doesn’t want a party,” she looked up at me, “right, Willow?”
“Right,” I said, laughing. “But I love cake,” I said, encouraging her to go with my mother. She hugged me goodbye and went with Rose and my mother. As they walked away, the front door opened, and Clarissa and Felicity stepped out. Felicity was carrying Allie, and they sat down on either side of me.
“So, young lady, have you gotten caught up on your sleep?” I said, smiling at Allie. She smiled back and turned to hide her face in Felicity’s chest.
“She just now woke up,” Felicity said, relieved by Allie’s happy mood.
I looked at Clarissa. “So, did you burn the canvas?” I asked, amused.
“It's on the back porch; I’m going to get Dane to help me with it,” she answered
I nodded and let my gaze settle on Landen, who was surrounded by Brady, Dane, and our fathers. I found myself wishing I could freeze time on his behalf. I knew he wasn’t bothered by what they were saying; in fact, he seemed to have the same confidence he’d had throughout this whole experience.
“I didn’t mean to upset you earlier,” Clarissa said, feeling ashamed.
“Don’t worry about it; sometimes it gets to be too much,” I answered
“That’s what we want to help you with; we don’t want to add to it, just help you sort it out,” Clarissa said.
I leaned back and let my body rest on my elbows. Flashes of everything - from the day at the lake ‘til now - came to me. I heard the voices of my family, Drake, Landen, and my own arguments.
“Right now, there’s one thing I can’t get around in my mind; maybe the two of you can make sense of it,” I said to them.
I had Felicity and Clarissa’s full attention. They both turned halfway on the step they were sitting on to see me better.
“OK. I’ve said over and over that it’s always been Landen,” I said. They nodded in agreement. “We found that photo, Drake showed me our lives, and Aora justified my fears by telling me that I’d loved them. We all came to the conclusion that you could love someone and not be in love with them,” I said, looking between the two of them to make sure they were following me. They nodded, telling me to go on.
?
??Drake told Landen that he gained his strength by remembering when he was one with me. I argued that there was no way that I was one with him because I could only complete Landen, that his memories were of another who looked just like me, my twin...I’m losing that argument now, though, because I know that Jayda – myself - loved him, and that love was powerful enough to make the darkness leave Oba. So, explain to me how I can be ‘one’ with more than one person? Am I crazy to think that there’s another girl for Drake? Is his fate to wait his ‘turn,’ as he puts it?”