They looked at each other, then to me. I smiled as I felt them take on my confusion, knowing then that they understood were I was coming from.
“You’re looking for one answer...what if there are two?” Felicity said as an excitement came through her.
“Go on,” I said, amused by her energy.
“What if there’s another ‘you’ that makes him complete? What if his dreams are of the two of you – and he can’t tell the difference?” Felicity said.
“That makes sense,” Clarrissa said, sitting up straight. “He could have them crossed, mixing his passion with love.”
“Did Jayda show you images of you and Drake joining?” Felicity asked.
I reached for my charm and let the memories she gave me play again in my mind. “No,” I said quietly.
“But they found mediation; they left Analess through the string. They knew what you know about energy - yet she never showed you the most beautiful part about being aware of your energy?”
My eyes widened slightly. She had a point; it didn’t make sense that Jayda wouldn’t share that with me.
“I think there are two of you; that’s the only way it would make sense,” Felicity said.
“Then where is she?” I said under my breath.
“Ask him to tell you more. Maybe we’ll be able to sort through his memories and find her,” Clarissa said.
“I don’t know how I feel about validating his memories. They’re the rock he stands on, the reason he thinks Landen has me living in a ‘web of lies,’ as he puts it.”
“Yes, but the more he tells you, the more information you’ll have to help us all find this girl,” Clarissa said, enforcing her point.
“He doesn’t even know that I know he was Oba,” I said with a smile. “Landen said he was waiting to be scorned when I told them that Jayda and Alyianna showed him my past lives.”
“That’s good; catch him off guard. I’d be interested to know why he just didn’t tell you,” Felicity said.
I leaned back and played out the argument in my head. I was anxious to hear why he just didn’t tell me who he was then, why he’d watch me struggle with the idea of me killing him. Anger swarmed deep inside of me as I assumed that he let me suffer in order to give himself the validation that I did love him.
“I’m going to be honest with you, Willow,” Felicity said. I looked at her like she was crazy; she had no choice but to be honest with me. She raised her eyebrows and continued, “Let me rephrase that,” she said, laughing at my expression. “I’m going to tell you what I think – and that is that you’re standing in the center of a love triangle that no woman would want to be in.” Her eyes found Landen. “Standing between Lust and Love, both of them are so perfect that it’s hard not to stare.”
I sighed and nodded. I’d never admitted aloud how attractive I found Drake; his presence alone was growing addictive.
“Stella told us how impactful Drake’s touch is on you,” Clarissa added.
“That’s just my body; Landen reaches my soul,” I said as my gaze caught his across the field.
“We’re just trying to put ourselves in your place so we can help you - and when we try to imagine ourselves there, we find ourselves weak,” Felicity said.
I looked to my side at her. “You’d never choose anyone above Brady,” I promised her.
“My soul wouldn’t, but we’re all made of flesh; I can’t tell you what I’d do if the ‘bad’ soulmate came to me and had a touch like Drake’s, eyes like Drake’s...I would never leave Brady, but I know my mind would at least play out the possibilities for me,” Felicity said.
Her honesty was making me uncomfortable; in my opinion, some things, some desires should just be left unsaid.
“I’m not giving much credit to the ‘bad’ soulmate idea; I believe that August would agree with me on that point,” I said, sitting forward.
I lied to them. I was starting to believe the idea; I just didn’t want them to have any cause to fear my weakness. I knew Landen would feel their doubt in me. Right now, his confidence was what I was hiding behind.
Clarissa leaned forward, and her eyes searched over my face. “I believe it; I’ve seen it,” she said.
“Where? How?” I asked, slightly amused by how sure she was.
“When I travel, it’s everywhere. On more than one occasion, the person I was leading found someone who was already in a committed relationship. It’s really common in Infant. I’m sure you’ve seen it more than you care to admit,” she answered.
I knew in the world in which I was raised that it was growing more and more uncommon for couples to join for a lifetime, that most of my friends had two sets of parents. I never saw that as a choice between passion and love; I saw it as one love dying and another being born...the children were just bystanders in the matter.
“I’d feel sorry for the one that was left behind when I escorted the new soulmates home, but I reasoned that the person left behind was now released from an illusion that the body gives; they weren’t free to find the one that completed them,” Clarissa said.
I sighed. “You know what would make me feel better?” I asked her. She raised her eyebrows, telling me to go on. “If you told me that you knew for sure that the person you left behind did find someone, that they weren’t living a life of heartache that was left to them,” I said, tilting my head.
I watched as Clarissa’s eyes moved across her memory.
“Now, I’m going to have to check and see,” she said, frustrated by her own words.
I smiled slightly. “Let me know if you find positive results,” I said under my breath.
“Well, I won’t know before we go to the palace, so you’re going to just have to trust what Aora said about your past life: you can’t sacrifice your heart for what you think is the greater good; you’ll all die,” Clarissa said as grief and doubt overcame her.
“What do you mean ‘we?’ You’re not going?” I said under my breath.
“Dane’s going; you said we weren’t to be apart, so I am going,” Clarissa said, standing and walking to Dane’s side.
My eyes found Dane. I knew it would break his heart if I told him I thought it was Olivia who was supposed to protect me. I’d rather just let him come, keep the peace.
Landen looked up as he felt Clarissa’s intent, then shook his head slightly, knowing it would be pointless to persuade her to stay.
“Well,” Felicity said, “honestly, I feel better knowing she’s going with you.”
I looked at her with wide eyes, surprised by her words.
“You need a woman there, a woman as brave as you are,” Felicity said.
“You’re brave,” I said, trying to make her see that she was just as much of an asset to me as the others.
“You and Clarrissa are a lot alike. She’s had to prove herself over and over to travelers outside of our family; she has a strong will and determination. I wasn’t surprised when Aora said she’d travel at your side; in fact, it took everything Brady had to keep her with us after she heard Aora. She wanted to leave then for Esterious - not to see Dane, but to help you. I think she’ll bring you balance when you’re in the midst of turmoil,” Felicity said.
I watched Clarrissa approach Dane’s side. He pulled her to him and held his eyes low. I could a feel an ueasy distance rising inside of him. I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to understand it.
I took a deep breath then stood, and leaned down to hug Felicity goodbye. I looked down at Allie’s smiling eyes, then made my way across the field to meet the others.
Chapter Sixteen
As I made my way to Landen and the others, Brady passed me; he was going to say goodbye to Felicity and Allie. I started to tell him just to stay, that we were only going to talk to Drake - but I felt his solid intent and decided not to waste my breath. My father looked up, and as I got closer he stepped away from the others and moved toward me. His eyes were still green, but I could see a hint of hazel beginning to invade them. I watched as
he looked over my body, stopping at my heart. He smiled slightly. I stopped just in front of him.
“Better?” I asked, reaching for my scar.
“Much better,” he said, moving his head from side to side.
“What?” I asked.
“You and Landen just amaze me,” he said.
I blushed slightly, then let my gaze catch Landen’s over my father’s shoulder. “Are you coming with us?” I asked.
“No,” he answered, staring into my eyes. “This truce must be between you and Drake.”
“That isn’t stopping the others from coming,” I said, looking at Dane and Clarissa.
“Yes, but they won’t remind him of his father as Ashten and I would,” my father answered. “You’ll need him to be calm if you’re going to negotiate with him.”
I looked down at the ground. Drake being calm was never the issue; he was always calm. In my opinion, that was one of the most frustrating traits he had.
“On the inside,” my father said quietly. I looked up at him. “When you have a disagreement with someone, the only way to resolve it is to see their point of view - and for them to see yours,” he said.
I nodded. My father reached his arms around me and held me as tight as he could. “I don’t care how many birthdays you have; you’ll always be my baby girl,” he whispered. I squeezed him tighter and thought of how much I loved him.
As I felt Ashten getting closer, I let go. He wasn’t as calm as my father, but I felt him trying to let go, to let me and Landen live our own lives. I smiled up at him; I could feel his overwhelming pride of having me in his family. He put his arm around my shoulder and hugged me. “You’ll be home tonight, right?” he asked me.
“I don’t think we’ll be there long. It can only go one way or the other; either he’ll help, or we’ll have to find another way,” I said, focusing on a calm emotion and giving it to Ashten.
Brady came up behind me. “Ready?” he asked.
I nodded and let go of Ashten, then smiled at back at my father and began to walk at Brady’s side toward Landen. “Did you get a chance to talk to Landen?” I asked him in a low tone.
Brady looked down at me and smiled slightly. “He talked; I listened,” he answered.
“And...?” I asked, prepared to critique his response.
“I’m relieved to know that Drake isn’t the devil I thought he was,” he answered, raising his eyebrows.
“That was Landen’s conclusion?” I said.
Brady nodded. “I have to give both Landen and Drake credit; I don’t know that I’d be calm enough to let all of this unfold. If I was Landen, you’d be hidden away on a deserted island, far from any reality that Esterious could give you; and if I was Drake, I’d have stolen you away the first chance I got. The two of them prove that love isn’t a selfish act – it’s one that must come with some pain,” he said.
My expression was solemn. It seemed that Drake had managed to reach my family; they now had sympathy for him, which made being angry and resentful toward him all the more difficult.
Brady reached his arm around my shoulder. “It’s not a choice of who you love any longer; you’ve made that decision. Now, it’s a choice of either fighting for the lost souls - or walking away,” he said. His eyes looked somewhere inside me. “Landen and Drake aren’t going to walk away, and neither are you.”
We’d reached the others. As Landen reached his hand out for mine, Brady let his arm fall from around me. A smile came across my face as I felt his touch. He pulled me to his side and kissed my forehead.
“A member of my council wasn’t trying to reach you, was he?” he thought with an impish grin across his face. I looked over my shoulder at Brady and our fathers, who were walking toward their homes.
“Nope. Apparently, you’ve managed to convince them that Drake isn’t such a bad guy,” I answered, tightening my grip on him.
I looked past him to Olivia, who was standing near the passage to the string. As I felt her intent grow stronger, I tilted my head curiously; she wanted to go and was prepared to argue her point. Landen looked back at Dane, then to the passage at Olivia. I stepped away from him and slowly approached Olivia. As I got closer, she crossed her arms and stared into my eyes; her determination was so strong, I could see it waving through her energy.
Brady passed by me and stepped in the string. As they followed Brady, Dane and Clarissa looked curiously over at Olivia, who locked eyes with Dane and tightened her jaw; she was angry at him. He held her angry stare, then pulled Clarissa into the string with him. I looked back at Landen to see if he understood what was going on between them, and I could feel a derision coming from him; he no longer thought that Dane was the one who was meant to protect me.
“Olivia, this isn’t dangerous; I’m just going to talk to him,” I said, trying to understand her determination - and fearing the worst.
She took a deep breath. “It’s my place at your side - not Dane’s,” she said calmly.
The truth echoed in every word she spoke, and her certainty was terrifying. I looked at Landen for help, and he looked sorrowfully over Olivia. He felt guilty for not trusting her before, for asking Chrispin to stay behind. Landen’s emotion was uncalled for, though, because we thought we were protecting them. I reached my hand out for his and let an emotion of peace flow through him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to her. “I’d take you with us, but I know Chrispin wouldn’t want you in Esterious without him.”
“He knows I’m going with you; I told him this time I wouldn’t take no for an answer, that one way or another, I’d be with you tonight,” Olivia said
Landen looked me. She believed every word she said.
“I’m the one who’s always been at your side, Willow,” she said tenderly.
“How are you so certain?” I asked, bewildered.
“I’ve always felt it - but now, my dreams...they prove that I’ve been,” she said.
“You’re dreaming of the past now?” I asked.
“My dreams move so fast, it’s hard for me to know where I am in time - but I know that we’ve always been together.”
“Did you dream something bad about tonight?” I asked.
“No,” she said, looking down.
I looked back at Landen. “What do you think?” I thought.
“We’ll take her; I just hope Chrispin doesn’t kill me for it,” he thought.
“According to her, he already knows she’ll be there,” I thought.
“Alright, I have no reason to doubt you. Come,” Landen said, stepping halfway into the string.
A smile spread across Olivia’s face, and I felt hope rise in her soul. She stepped past Landen confidently, and he let his hand rest on her back and guided her through. I followed, prepared to lead her through the darkness she’d see. When the glow of string had surrounded me and I felt the gentle current of energy, I focused my eyes on Olivia; she was staring back at me.
“You see me?” I said in an astonished tone.
As confidence consumed her, a grin grew across her beautiful face. Brady, Clarissa, and Dane surrounded us, and Dane stepped between me and Olivia. “What is this? Why is she here?” he asked in an appalled tone.
Brady raised his hand to silence Dane, then pushed him back. His eyes then raced between Olivia, Landen, and me. “You can see in here?” he asked.
Olivia breathed in and smiled. “Chrispin has managed to bring sight to me once again,” she said.
A small smile spread across my face as I remembered that it was Crispin’s love for Olivia that brought her sight back when she was taken by Drake. We’d never really acknowledged how powerful the love between Chrispin and Olivia had to be; we were too focused on saving the lives of my other friends, trying to figure out who we were.