“In the morning, I refuse to spend a night without my girls,” Ethan said, while he slid a rack of some kind of tarts out of the oven.
I smiled, loving the way he said his girls. The man I thought would never want a child had taken to it easier than me.
He wiped his hands on a nearby towel and brought his plate over to sit at the bar with me. “How about you take one of mine?”
“One of your what?”
“Vehicles, I have two.” He swatted at my hand as I reached over to snatch an asparagus off his plate. “And?”
“To be honest,” I said and slapped the asparagus into my mouth. “It hurts to get in and out of your truck, and I hate your car.”
He flashed a dimple at me, his smokey brown eyes filled with heat, and I knew that I was about to enter a battle of wills.
“Then it looks like I’m getting a new car this weekend.”
No, I’m not about to become a burden on anybody but especially you. “No, you’re not. You don’t need three cars.”
“No, I don’t but I need to take care of you.” He gazed at me determined, and I knew it was a battle I would never win. The strong-willed Ethan had made up his mind.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You have to bum rides to get to therapy and the doctor. Hell, anywhere. You might not understand this but I need to take care of you.”
A small smile tugged at my lips. “Okay, but can we go to bed right now.”
I took Ethan’s hand and pulled him toward the bedroom.
“Tired, babe?” he asked and darted his tongue over his upper lip.
I shook my head and winked. “First, I think we need to get out of these clothes.”
Saturday March 21, 2015
Dylan
I never required much in my life so all the stuff Ethan was purchasing for me because supposedly I needed it was too much. If I made the mistake of looking at anything too long, he was buying it. I argued with him but he acted like he couldn’t hear me. He would wink at me periodically but mostly he was busy giving the saleslady directions and demands. Ethan was different in public than in private. He was harder, more demanding, any and all warmth he had vanished. He was still sweet to me, but the rest of world was no more than excrement under his feet. I was getting a glimpse of the man that didn’t take no for an answer. Even being an ass, the woman swoon in his presence. My jealousy never surfaced though because Ethan had a way of letting everyone know he belonged to me. So I had no idea why I slumped in the dressing room at an upper scale maternity shop and cried. Ethan hovered all day so it was no surprise I soon heard him bang on the dressing room door.
“Privy, what’s wrong?”
I stood up and unlatched the door before flopping back on a small bench in the corner. Ethan walked in, refasten the door, and sat down beside me. As if he knew I needed my space, he didn’t grab me up in his lap but just took my hand in his.
“This is too much. I don’t need all these clothes. Elizabeth won’t be here for five more months, we don’t have to buy everything today for her.”
“I need it. I’m tired of seeing you in Deacon’s oversized clothes. You’re too beautiful to not have the best. Plus, I want to show off that little baby bump. I want the world to see it and know I was the lucky bastard that got the privilege of knocking you up.” He laughed as he always did when things got glum. “As far as Elizabeth’s stuff, tomorrow we’re telling my family. My mom and sister will start shopping as soon as the words get out of my mouth. I wanted to be the one to buy her this stuff. I know you’ve never had much, but enjoy, because you will from now on. I’ll work my ass off to assure you and Elizabeth always have all this.”
“I just want you.”
“Well lucky for you, because you get it all.” He kissed the top of my forehead and picked up a dress hanging on the back of the door. “Try this on and get back to modeling. I’m rather enjoying the show.”
I sat there for a few minutes after Ethan left the room before getting up and trying on the damn dress. I realized that was going to be my life if I planned on being with Mr. Sex-In-A-Suit.
Ethan had me leave the dress on, saying it was his favorite of all the clothes. We did seem more like a match when I was wearing it. The whole day, I felt utterly ridiculous standing by him. Ethan only shopped in the most prestigious shops. I had worn a pair of Deacon’s sweats that only fit around my expanding stomach and one of his too-big-for-me t-shirts. Ethan on the other hand looked like a god in his custom-made suit. No wonder every store clerk did a double-take when we walked in holding hands.
I had laid over on his shoulder as he drove down I-40. Ethan’s energy level was hard to keep up with. I snapped to attention, however, when he whipped into the parking lot of a large car dealership. He switched off the motor and turned to face me.
“You said I could get you a new car?” he reminded me.
I did agree he could buy me one, but today. Now.
“A Ford?” I asked. It was a stupid question. He easily let one know of his preference for a Ford vehicle.
“Only the best for my baby girl and baby momma.”
I resigned to my fate when he first bought it up at his house, so I climbed out of the car ready to pick out a car he would be pleased with. I took Ethan’s hand in mine and we strolled into the showroom.
A saleslady in a tight, too-short suit was all over Ethan. She looked more like she belonged in his club then an expert on cars.
“What is the gentleman looking for this beautiful day?” she asked and rubbed her hand over the lapel of Ethan’s suit.
“Whatever my woman wants.” Ethan’s lips went into a hard line.
She sensed Ethan’s hatred toward unwelcomed advances and didn’t want to lose a sale so she turned all of her attention on me. She started reeling off a list of statistics. I didn’t care what she had to say. I wandered off and started walking around the car lot. I came up on a black Ford Expedition. I instantly started drooling. It was more of a car than I would ever need, but I wanted it and knew it would excite Ethan to buy it for me. I found myself grinning stupidly at the car, and when he caught my smile he waved for the saleslady.
“This is the car, but I want one with less than an hundred miles on it.” Ethan generated his credit card as I climbed in the SUV and started pushing the million and one buttons.
“I’ll have to order one from the factory, but that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“No, it shouldn’t,” Ethan told her as he opened the passenger door and climbed in. He dangled the keys in his hand. “Want to take it for a spin?”
“Thank you,” I said as I cranked the engine.
“You’re most welcome, Privy. Thank you for letting me.”
It was another beautiful day in Knoxville and I drove for well over an hour. By the time we returned, the saleslady had already placed an order for a new fully loaded Ford Expedition. Ethan signed a few papers, and she informed us it would be delivered in about a week.
Ethan looked relaxed and happy as we returned back to his house to meet Charlie and Cherry for dinner. I was ready for a nap. That was a fading dream when I caught a glance of Charlie standing on the front porch, smiling.
“Thank you for today. I know you’ll never understand but I needed to buy you all that crap,” Ethan said as he shut off the engine to his car.
“Then thank you, I really do love all of the clothes, especially the stuff we got the baby,” I said as I opened the car door. I glanced back over my shoulder. “You bought me a car.”
“Yes, I did, my love.”
When I got out, I unwarily rubbed over the baby bulge the dress I was wearing showcased. Charlie eyed me. I could see the moment he noticed my stomach. He mumbled a line of distorted cuss words as he walked toward us.
“When was I going to learn I was going to be an uncle? At the first birthday party.”
I couldn’t read him. He showed no emotion on his face. I clutched the material over my stomach hoping the new
s of a new Asher would be a happy occasion. I suddenly felt sick. Ethan was at my side. His arms tightened around me and I could feel his attention totally on me. I wasn’t ready. I had gone in a week from accepting the fact I had no other choice then to give my miracle up for adoption to facing a family I didn’t remember if they even liked me and telling them I was having a baby that would be part of their family. Would they accept us?
That question was soon answered when Charlie suddenly had Ethan and me both in a bear hug. I felt my feet leave the ground as Charlie let out a loud yoo-hoo. Soon after, I was snuggled in the arms of Cherry who acted as if she was the one going to have a baby.
“I don’t know who will be happier Helen or Kristina,” Cherry wondered.
“That’s easy, me,” Ethan whispered in my ear. I opened my mouth when Ethan wrapped his arms around me and led me into the house.
Charlie hooked his arm around Cherry’s neck and followed behind us. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes which Ethan quickly slapped out of his hand. “You’re not smoking around Dylan. It’s bad for the baby and her.”
Charlie cocked one of his eyebrows. “Oops, sorry beautiful, I’ll try to be a better uncle,” he said to me before turning to stare at Cherry. “Grab me a beer. I guess I’ll be on the patio smoking.”
I watched Charlie and Cherry closely. They had a way about them that intrigued me. He moved. She moved. He dominated her, however, she seemed to blossom under his command. What they had was unlike anything I had ever witness before, it was something special.
I sank down on the couch and watched Ethan and Charlie through the patio doors. They were both laughing and seemed to have a close unspoken bond between them. Cherry walked into the living room carrying three beers and a bottle of water. Something about how comfortable she felt around Ethan was unnerving. People stood up straighter, spoke with respect, acted as if they were in the presence of royalty when Ethan was in a room. Not Cherry. She had an unsettling comfort around him.
She sat the bottle of water on the coffee table in front of me. “I’ll be back in a moment. Have to take care of our men first.”
Charlie walked over and met her at the doorway. I was memorized by the way Charlie looked at her. It took my breath away until I caught Ethan’s stare through the French doors. It was the same look but directed at me. For the first time in my life, I felt loveable. Ethan truly loved me.
Charlie took two of the beers from Cherry. She walked back over to sit down in a chair opposite the couch I was sitting on. The sweet smile on Ethan’s lips made it hard to concentrate on anybody but him. I didn’t want to have one on one time with Cherry. I wanted to curl up on the bench out on the patio with Ethan.
A small bubble of laughter came from Cherry’s chest, bringing my attention back to her. “What’s your secret?”
“Huh?” I asked and took a sip of water.
“I would’ve bet money that no one would’ve been able to capture Ethan the way you have. I like him like this.”
“Do you know Ethan well?”
Cherry shrugged and took a swig of her beer, then crossed her leg before throwing her arm over the back of the chair. “You can say that. The first few weeks I knew Charlie he was going through some stuff. Ethan was his lifesaver.”
“How did you meet?”
“Charlie or Ethan?” She took another long swig of her beer then ran her fingers through her long chestnut hair. She was on the chunky side but damn, was she beautiful and confident. She lightly laughed I’m sure at my dumbfounded expression. “I’m a reporter for a local newspaper, and I did an article on Ethan and the club.”
“Are you a member of the club?” I asked.
Cherry raised her eyebrows. “Now, I’m actually buying half of Ethan’s shares. The first night I met Ethan, however, I thought the club was abominable. But Ethan and especially Charlie soon changed my mind.” She scooted to the edge of the chair. “It’s not for everyone. It has changed my life but don’t sweat it if it’s not your thing. Ethan doesn’t need it like Charlie. I’m becoming to realize Ethan only needs you.”
I felt like a million pounds had been lifted from my chest. Someone in that lifestyle agreed that Ethan could live without that club. Every day, not only did my baby bump grow but so did assurances that Ethan and I could be a family.
“If you interviewed Ethan, how did you get with Charlie?”
“After the final night of a very intense interview, we were leaving when Charlie fell in the front door and right on top of me. He was drunk and upset.” Cherry’s eyes wandered over to the guys still sitting on the patio enjoying a cigar. “He had gotten some bad but luckily false news about his daughter.”
“Charlie has kids?”
True, I couldn’t remember anything where Ethan’s family was concern but the idea Charlie had a child seemed far fetch to me.
“A daughter. Her mother took her when she was only four.”
I tilted my head and glanced over to Charlie. I couldn’t fathom not knowing where your child was. If she was even okay. I gripped my stomach realizing if I did give Elizabeth up for adoption that would be my life too.
“It’s been twenty-one years, but not a day goes by that he doesn’t look for her.”
“Why would his wife do that?” I crossed my legs, looking away, my mind veering off and onto why I might have left Ethan the first time.
“She couldn’t handle the danger his life came with anymore.” Danger, wasn’t he a tattoo artist?
The patio doors opened and I twisted to see Ethan and Charlie walking in the living room. They were laughing. I knew Ethan had secrets. Secrets I wasn’t ready for. He was dangerous but he was mine. He was my sweet obsession. He was my life. I took his hand and pulled him down beside me.
“What are you ladies talking about?” Charlie asked as he placed Cherry over onto his lap.
“How lucky you were to find me.”
“You got that right.” Charlie flashed those dimples at her so charming that even I wanted to swoon.
I rested my head against Ethan’s chest and smiled. Charlie was a charmer but nothing compared to how I felt in Ethan’s arms.
Sunday March 22, 2015
Ethan
I woke up with a smile on my face and Dylan’s slender body tangled with mine. She mumbled “she loved me” in her sleep and moved fitfully. I remained perfectly still, enjoying having her next to me.
Lying next to her, I was conscious of the fact that things could be so much different. I’d spent my entire life feeding my lust and desires with the vultures of the world. I didn’t believe a soulless man such as I would’ve ever been able to hold a girl like Dylan in my arms. The kind of girl who no matter how bad life treated her spent her days trying to lift everyone else up. The kind of girl who worried about everyone but herself. A girl who’s heart was unattainable until she had a reason to believe in you. A girl who once she gave you her heart it was for life. A heart so precious once you obtained it, you never let it go.
“Ethan?”
I didn’t answer; I thought she was still talking in her sleep. It was five in the morning, and the bedroom was shrouded in darkness. The only light visible was the lights from the golf course, shining through the opening in the blinds.
She rolled over and shoved her hands under her face. “Ethan,” she whispered. “What are you thinking?”
“How excited I am to tell my family about our little girl?” I kissed her lightly and stroked her hair. “Go back to sleep, sweet love. We have a busy day ahead.”
She propped herself up on her elbow. “Can we talk?”
I mimicked her position down to the pout on her face. “What does my Privy want to talk about?”
“Me.”
“My favorite subject.” I looked at her and noticed a single tear drop in the corner of her eye.
“You know about the attack?”
I nodded. It didn’t skip my attention she always called it an attack, never rape. I wondered how much her mind was shiel
ding her from. How much of that horrible day did she remember? Did she still unwarily remember I was the one who held her in the aftermath?
“How much do you know?” Dylan asked and started twisting the edge of the bed sheet in her hand.
“Every detail.”
“It was horrific, I know. But through it all I never thought I didn’t deserve it. I was shocked they were willing to touch me.”
I bristled. “You didn’t deserve anything. Never doubt that. What those monsters did to you was unforgivable.” I closed my eyes to avoid hers and try to rein in my temper.
“I’m not saying I did, but they touched me. After my daddy died, no one would touch me. I would go for weeks and never once feel someone else’s skin. The summer I stayed with my granny, I got lots of hugs. But no one else would touch me. It was like I was a non-human.”