After I had brought my breakfast up I sat exhausted on the bathroom floor, luckily it was clean. Why I couldn’t sit through this meal? It had been going so well, I had been having such a good time, for a moment I had forgotten about the tumour and then it returns with a vengeance.
“Jasmine are you okay in there?” Natalie asked through the cubical door.
I didn’t want her seeing me like this but I needed her help standing up so I unlocked the door.
“Can you help me up please?” I asked her, she put her bag down that looked like my mine and helped me over to the sinks.
“Do you want me to get CJ?” She asked.
“No no, I am okay now. He will only worry.”
“Here, he thought you might need this.” She said handing my bag, so it was mine.
“Thanks.” I took it and retrieved my anti-sickness pills and the bottle of water I kept in there for times like this.
“Does that happen often?” She asked.
“More so lately, come on lets get back.” I said checking my makeup hadn’t smeared too much.
Christopher relaxed when we sat back down at the table, I didn’t bother to explain what happened, he knew. I didn’t want my absence to ruin lunch so I started the conversation back up distracting them from worrying about me.
“So how come you two are not at work?” I asked it was a weekday after all, they both looked at each other smiling obviously having a silent conversation as whether to say anything or not. I looked at Christopher to see if he knew but he looked just as confused as I did.
“Okay, I had a hospital appointment this morning.” She said digging around in her purse. She pulled out a small picture and handed it over to us, it was a scan picture.
“I am only eleven weeks gone, we were going to wait till I was three months before we told anyone but it is only a week away,” She said smiling.
“Congratulations little bro.” Christopher said getting up to hug him then Natalie and I joined him.
“Congratulations Nat, you are going to make a brilliant mother.” I said happy for them both.
“Thank you.”
The conversation was all baby talk from then on, I dug deep and plastered a smile on and cooed in all the right places, they were so happy, and they couldn’t keep the smiles of their faces. I held onto Christopher’s hand even tighter under the table, we would not get the chance to experience the excitement of our first child together; I assumed he was thinking the same. When Christopher suggested we should leave I agreed immediately.
“That wasn’t so bad was it?” He asked me when we were driving home.
“I haven’t thought about having children before, it made me think of not having the option anymore.” I said returning to stare out of the window.
Henry helped Christopher take his things into the house while I had Rose fix me a sandwich as I hadn’t ate much at lunch. I was feeling tired so I took my snack into the living room and flicked the TV on. I was asleep before I got the chance to choose a programme to watch.
I bolted straight up, something didn’t feel right.
“Jas it is okay, you fell asleep on the sofa.” Christopher said softly.
That was why it felt wrong; I hadn’t slept in here before. Christopher was sat on the floor playing his xbox.
“You don’t mind me setting it up do you?” He asked when he noticed me staring at the screen it was some football game.
“Not at all, how long have I been asleep?” I asked.
“Only a few hours, it has only just gone ten. You want to play?” He asked offering me his controller.
I had never played computer games before especially when I had better things I could be playing with.
“I have a better idea, come with me.”
He hadn’t seen the finished look to the extension; he should see it with all the hard work he put in.
“The guys done a good job.” He said inspecting their work.
I hadn’t looked at it properly since it had been completed.
“It is beautiful.” I said in amazement.
With all of the spotlights turned on they reflected the black and pink tiles through the water and bounced off the white walls.
“You haven’t been in here have you?” He asked.
“Not since your lovely boss dragged me around, I wasn’t really paying attention.” I walked around to where he was kneeling down testing the temperature.
I couldn’t stop myself from pushing him in; it was worth it looking at his shocked face for a fraction of time before he was fully under the water. I was still laughing when he came back up, he swam to the side where I was standing and held his arm out for me to help him out of the pool.
“I am not falling for that.” I said backing away from his reach.
“Your coming in one way or another, you might as well jump in or I will come and get you,” He said menacingly swimming back into the middle of the pool.
He was still wearing his jeans and t-shirt. I wasn’t going to get my Prada wet. I stripped down to my bra and panties and jumped in, the water was lovely and warm. When I resurfaced Christopher was swimming towards me.
“I was going to make you pay for pushing me in but it was worth it to see you in your underwear.” He said pulling me into his arms.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and instead of kissing him like he was expecting I pushed him under the water and swam away,
“You are going to pay for that.” He said swimming towards me, I swam away but before I could get away he caught me.
I was expecting him to throw me under the water like I did him but instead he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me. Needless to say things got very heated very quickly.
“Maybe I should get my clothes out of the pool.” Christopher said wrapping a towel around his waist.
“Leave them Rose will get them out tomorrow.” I told him wrapping my own towel round me and sitting on one of the pool chairs.
“I thought she was your cook?” He asked.
“She does everything, cook, clean, that is the way she likes it.” I said.
“How long has she been working for you?” He asked sitting beside me.
“Um about six years now.” I replied.
“What do her and Henry do for Christmas?”
Full of questions tonight and I also see where he is going with his.
“I make them work as normal, Henry cleans the cars although I do let Rose cook a Turkey.” I said seriously.
“You do not!” He said disbelieving me.
“Of course I don’t,” I said laughing at him, “Sometimes Rose goes to visit her family for the holidays, Henry doesn’t have any family so he usually stays here with me. We don’t make a big deal about Christmas, Rose sometimes puts a small tree up in the kitchen but that is about it.” I explained.
“That is kind of sad. So how about this year you spend it with me…at my mother’s?” He asked.
“That should be fun with your mother scowling at me at every opportunity, I will be fine here with Henry and Rose, you go.” I said trying to get out of it.
“Jas, my mother doesn’t hate you.”
“You didn’t hear what she had to say to me when you were comatose.” I told him.
“I have been filled in, she didn’t understand what was going on and now she does, she is the one who I talked to about everything.”
“I bet she hates me even more then?” I said moodily.
“Actually, in the end she was the one who told me to come and see you, she sees how much I love you.” He said.
“Oh” Was all I could say.
“No one understands this, hell we don’t even understand it but we are as normal as everyone else until were not, okay.” He said.
I thought about it and what is the worst that could happen? At least I would have more than two people to buy for this year.
“Okay, so Christmas at your mother’s house. We best start shopping.” I said excitedly jumping up and grabbing him
with me to get the laptop.
“Unless you are tired? It is late.” I said remembering I had already had sleep tonight and he hadn’t.
“I can never catch my breath when I am with you, I am sure I can stay awake while you shop.” He laughed.
Part Two…Christopher
My mission for today was to get Jasmine out of the house. She wouldn’t leave the house if I asked her to see my brother and Natalie, she was adamant they hated her. Needing to go home and pick up some fresh clothes would be a good excuse to get her out of the house and offering to take her out for lunch would make it easier to get Alex and Nat there without her knowing first hand, I know if I can get her in the same place as them she would see herself they didn’t hate her.
I shuddered as I unlocked the door to my house, the last time Jas were here was the worst night of my life, we hadn’t spoke too much about that night which I was grateful for, I am still appalled by my behaviour. She noticed the empty kitchen void of the table and chairs that once stood in the middle of the room. She still didn’t say anything. I began packing away my xbox just in case I needed something to do while Jas was otherwise occupied with her illness.
“What happened here?” She asked looking at the photographs on my wall, she was looking at the ones that once had Leigh in them. I would have got rid of them completely but they had other people in them.
“I didn’t want to see his face.” I said turning back to finish packing the games system. I knew she had seen the photographs of us when I heard her laughing. Her laugh melted my heart.
“Natalie tried to save them, she had them laminated so I couldn’t try it again. She is a clever one.” I explained filling her in.
“She is nice, I like her,” She said.
“I am glad you think so.” I said, might make the surprise lunch guests easier.
Jas waited in the car while I loaded my things into the boot, I should have felt sad that I wouldn’t be coming back here for a while but in time I knew I would be back and I wouldn’t be with Jas, I immediately banished the thought from my head and got into the car.
“Ready for lunch?” I asked her, it was like she could see right through my plan but she said.
“Sure.”
I drove us to the Milton Arms, which was only down the road from my house; I couldn’t see Alex and Nat until Jas yanked my arm stopping me at once.
“What are you doing?” She squealed.
“I knew you wouldn’t agree if I told you my brother and Nat was going to be here. I thought you should see them, you would know he doesn’t hate you like you think he does.” I told her urging her forward, I could feel she would run if she had enough space.
Natalie saw us first and leapt up from her seat to hug Jas, I didn’t catch what she whispered in Jas’s ear, and Alex got up and hugged her too.
“How have you been Jasmine?” Natalie asked her when we were seated.
“Okay” She replied.
She looked confused.
“They all know Jasmine.” I told her.
“In that case I could feel a lot better,” She said bluntly.
“We should clear the air.” Alex started, please don’t let this get out of hand I thought to myself, all I wanted was for my family and Jas to get along.
“CJ tells me you think I hate you but I don’t, I told you that. And I already told you CJ is a grown man and will do what he wants to do; I just wish things were different for you both. I see how happy you make him and for now that is enough for me,” He said, that wasn’t so bad, he could have said worse like I thought he would.
“I wish things could be different too, I didn’t set out to hurt him,” She told him. I hated hearing her pain.
“I know you didn’t, it is a shame I could get used to having you around,” He said teasing her.
I could have punched him. He always took awkward situations and handled them with humour.
“Yeah, your starting to grow on me too.” She said laughing. I knew if she saw them she would finally trust me that they didn’t hate her.
“Now that is over, let’s order.” I said wanting to change the topic of conversation on a good note.
After we ordered Jas told Alex and Nat how she built Jasmine Enterprises and what she does, Natalie’s face was a picture hearing Jas’s stories. I couldn’t believe how normal it felt sitting here, two couples talking easily and having a good time. Something I haven’t done before.
“How do you normally spend Christmas Jasmine?” Alex asked her.
I knew where he was going with this, I had spoke to him earlier about it. I haven’t lived with my mother for years but I still spend every Christmas with her and the idea of sharing Christmas with Jas made me happy.
“I normally go away for the holidays,” She said.
I knew she was lying, she had told me she normally works through it.
“Not this year I hope, Fiona lays on loads of food, everyone comes round and we have a right laugh.” Natalie piped in. I could have kissed her jumping in like that.
“We haven’t spoke about Christmas yet.” Jas said looking at me to see what I was going to say, I couldn’t hide my smile.
When our food arrived Jas looked scared of her plate, she wasn’t a big eater and her plate was overflowing. The moment she cut a piece of chicken and put it to her mouth I saw she wasn’t feeling good, she excused herself and disappeared into the bathrooms.
“Is she okay?” Alex asked after Jas didn’t come back for a while.
“I am not sure, can you check on her please Nat?” I asked.
“Sure.” She smiled.
“Here, she might need this.” I said handing her Jasmine’s bag. I knew she kept medication in there. Natalie headed towards the bathroom leaving us on our own.
“Does she do this every time she eats?” He asked.
“Some days and some days she is fine, she isn’t a big eater anyway.” I said.
“Are you sure you can do this?” He asked, he was so concerned for me.
“Yes.” I replied shortly.
“This is the worst situation you have got yourself into by far,” He murmured.
“You’re not wrong about that but I have to be with her Alex. I would have regretted it for the rest of my life if I had walked away. I can’t explain it properly but just because we haven’t been together that long doesn’t mean the way I feel about her is any less”
“I get it, as long as you know what you are doing,” He said.
“I have no idea what I am doing but I will be okay.” I reassured him. I relaxed a thousand times over when I saw Jas walking back to the table.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Part One…Jasmine
Christopher managed to convince me to go and see his mother in the morning so I could see for myself that she wasn’t going to spend Christmas scowling at me. He fell asleep shortly after we started online Christmas shopping muttering something about being over extravagant with my choice of presents for everyone. I took advantage of him being out for the count to look online for his present, I had an idea of what I wanted to get him, something he could keep longer than he could keep me. I tried to sleep myself but to no avail, after an unsuccessful hour I grabbed one of the blankets and went outside to get some air.
I have always liked to sit out and look up at the stars; I exhaled heavily pulling the blanket around me tighter and sat out under the stars until I fell asleep.
“She is here.” I heard someone yell.
Someone was feeling my neck saying my name, telling me to wake up.
Why was it so cold? Mum probably forgot to pay the gas bill again.
“Daddy?” Why was my dad here?
He left us. We wouldn’t be cold if he was still here. I could still hear a voice, more than one now calling my name in all of the confusion. I was being lifted into someone’s arms, this wasn’t right. When I opened my eyes I was in a mans arms who I didn’t know. Was he here to hurt me? What did he want? He wasn’t my dad.
“Put me down!! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!!” I screamed.
No one was listening, no one ever did.
“It is okay Jas, I am not going to hurt you,” The man said.
He took me through a door and took me into a big living room. This definitely wasn’t my house. The other man followed us telling a woman to fetch tea and blankets immediately. The man who was holding me put me down gently on the biggest sofa I had ever seen and I cowered into it. Why was I here? I didn’t understand why I couldn’t remember getting here, maybe they drugged me? Both of the men stepped back and the women from the kitchen flew into the room telling them to leave, the blonde man didn’t want to go but the older bald man forced him out.
The woman looked kind, she was wrapping blankets around me and then gave me a mug of steaming tea.
“Jasmine.” She said softly.
“How do you know my name? Where am I? Why am I here?” I asked her hoping she was as kind as she looked.
“My name is Rose, I work for you. This is your house,” She said looking me dead in the eye.
“This is not my house, you are crazy.” I replied beginning to cry.
My whole house where I lived with my mother could easily fit in this room alone, and work for me? Why were these people lying to me? The women who said her name was Rose moved closer to me, I flinched away.
“It is okay, we found you asleep in our garden, it was freezing out there last night, why don’t you sleep and get warm and then Henry will drive you home when you are feeling better.” She said kindly.
“I don’t understand how I got here?” I said stuttering.
“I know, rest and then you will go home,” She said standing up.
She cleared the empty mugs onto the tray, “If you need me I will be in the kitchen,” She said and left the room.
Leaving me on my own. I did feel tired, I told myself I would sleep for a little while and then I would get myself home, my mum probably doesn’t even know I didn’t come home last night. Which meant nobody knew where I was.