Jaw clenched, I stared at the file on the table in front of me. Folding my arms, I refused to look at it. I could be just as stubborn as anyone else. No one could force me to do anything I didn’t want.
“We also have someone coming from the police station in a few minutes to talk to you about the indecent exposure charges,” Mike added, glancing at his Rolex. “We’ll do what we can to get those removed—or reduced—by showing the judge you’re willing to go to rehab. That should help a lot.”
“But I’m not willing to go to rehab,” I growled, growing more pissed by the minute.
“Well, then you better damn well get ready!” Penelope snapped, her eyes flaring as she placed her hands on the table, leaning over it toward me. “At some point, you need to grow up and start being the responsible one around here! People are counting on you for their paychecks. You need to be reliable or you will sink to the bottom so fast that you’ll never get booked for another role again. Don’t believe me? Look at all the people this industry has taken out before you. You can probably find most of them in the cemetery. Are you ready to join them? Or are you going to meet us halfway and try to help us all out here? This is your future, Z—your choice, right now. What’s it going to be?”
Darting between their three faces, I could see the seriousness of the situation reflected in their eyes. This was all so . . . stupid. I could almost hear a collective sigh of relief as I reached for the thick file in front of me and opened it. Slowly, I flipped through the pages, trying to figure out a way to get out of all this drama and please everyone, too. I had no intention of voluntarily going to rehab. There had to be some other way.
One particular thing in the file jumped out at me, causing me to do a double take—something that could actually save this horrific day. Staring at the smiling face of the beautiful girl in front of me, it seemed as if my heart was skipping beats.
She looked almost exactly the same—gorgeous, stunning, perfect. Even dressed in a pair of pale yellow scrubs with her hair in a ponytail, she was prettier than any starlet who’d tripped their way down the red carpet. I couldn’t force myself to look away. She seemed so . . . fresh, and so . . . real. I’d been surround by illusions and grandeur for so long that I almost forgot what it meant to feel real. Unbidden, memories and longing flooded me, causing excruciating pain—pain I frequently tried to bury.
Immediately, I wanted a drink. I was pretty sure no one here was going to bring me one.
But wait. Maybe this was a sign. Could I do this? For her? Did I dare? It would be a huge risk, but my life was going nowhere at the moment. It only took a second to make my decision.
“Fine,” I ground out, feeling completely emotionally depleted. “But here are my terms.” I pushed the filed toward the center of the table. “I’ll go to the facility where this girl is employed, and she is to be one of my nurses.”
Luke grumbled. “Are you kidding me? This isn’t a fucking dating service. It’s rehab. Pick another place.”
“If you want me to go to rehab, it has to be this facility, with this nurse, or no deal.” I stared hard at them, flashing my negotiator face, knowing they would take my threat seriously. I’d proven in the past just how stubborn I could be.
The three of them quickly conferred with each other in lowered voices, as if I weren’t sitting two feet away and could hear every word. I didn’t care. Staring at the face in the picture, my thoughts were hundreds of miles away, back on a farm in Montana. All the old hurt and feelings I constantly tried to repress flooded back to the surface, and instantly, my first reaction was to find a way to suppress it. When it came to Aubrey, my wounds ran deep—too deep for me to ever repair them, even though I wished it were possible with nearly every breath.
“Pack your bags then,” Penelope said with a slight air of triumph. “It looks like you’re going on a vacation to Sunnybrook Haven Center for Wellness.”
I’d heard of the posh recovery center before. Other celebrities had done rehab there, too. But I didn’t care about any of that.
No, what I wanted to know was why my old high school girlfriend, the one I’d left behind for fame and fortune, was suddenly living so near me in the same state. LA was a far cry from the small neighboring country farms we’d grown up on.
Aubrey Hart. All I had to do was hear her name and her teary face came right to the surface. I wondered if she believed everything I told her the night before I left. I hadn’t been lying when I said I intended to come back for her. But it soon became a lie as I moved up the ladder, convincing myself that Aubrey was better off left where she was—in my past.
Only that wasn’t the truth. If I died right now in this minute, I’d have but one real regret, and that regret was Aubrey. I’d give every penny I had, if I could somehow erase my mistakes concerning her. Now seemed like as good a time as any to fix the past. If it was time to get my life in order, might as well do it all at once.
How bad could it be, really?
It was terrible. I’d been eating a lot of my words in the past twenty-four hours. Penelope had been with me constantly, never leaving me alone. Even following me home and checking my house for contraband and flushing any of my stashes she found. I’d watched her with humor, shaking my head as I slowly continued packing some of my clothing. It was as if she thought I was going to sit here and take everything all at once in front of her. I wasn’t that stupid. If I were going to do something like that, I would’ve done it a long time ago and ended the pain I’d been in completely.
A few hours later, the truth of what I was actually doing began to settle in. I hadn’t had anything today, substance-wise. No prescription painkillers, no alcohol, nothing illegal—nothing—not even an over the counter headache medicine.
I felt damn jittery, truth be told, as if I were going to shed and crawl out of my own skin. All of this was happening after a video call with one of the studio representatives, followed by a visit to a police station and a hearing with the judge, to which I pled no contest. The judge was postponing sentencing, dependent on how my “voluntary” treatment went. As soon as that was finished, I was escorted to a waiting car and we left for my new temporary home.
Irritation crawled through me as the car turned up the long, palm tree lined driveway that led into Sunnybrook Haven. I’d never been here before, though I had several friends and associates that had been to rehab. I’d seen pictures of the sprawling, resort looking building that made up the main facility, with its Tuscan inspired design, and perfect landscaping complete with babbling brooks and miniature water falls. It seemed more like a place someone would go for a great weekend of golf and being pampered, not treatment for drug addiction, but I knew how deceiving looks could be.
“Are you okay?” Penelope asked, her gaze drifting to where my hands trembled in my lap.
“Fine. You don’t happen to have some Tylenol, do you? My head is splitting.” That was the truth, at least.
Penelope snorted. “Even if I did, I wouldn’t offer it to you.”
“Hey now. I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. There’s no reason for you to get snotty.” Rubbing my forehead, I wished for the pounding to go away. I simply wanted to sleep and forget everything.
Raising an eyebrow, she pinned me with a glassy stare. “If I sound snotty it’s because I’m annoyed.”
Now I was annoyed. I cast a casual glance out the window, sighing. “Sorry I annoy you.” I wasn’t really sorry. I simply wanted her to be quiet.
Apparently that was too much to hope for.
“I just don’t understand. You have everything a guy could want. Why would you risk throwing it all away? Don’t you realize how many people are waiting in line to knock you off the top? But it’s like you don’t even care anymore.”
Silence stretched between us for a few moments. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I haven’t for a long time.” It was the first time I’d ever admitted the truth out loud to her—or anyone.
“Well, you better find something you do car
e about and start focusing on it. Otherwise I see you ending up here over and over again. Not many hit this point and successfully walk away, you know.”
“I’ll be one of them.” If I put my mind to something, I knew I could do it. It was simply a matter of knowing what I wanted, which in this case, I wasn’t sure. But that was okay. I was good at bluffing. It was my job.
“I hope you’re right.” Shaking her head slightly, she suddenly became intent on straightening her blouse, which already looked perfect.
Her words stuck with me. I hoped I was right, too. Truly. I didn’t want to be broken, I just was.
There was no time to continue the conversation, as the car pulled up in front of the facility and several staff members appeared on the front step, seemingly ready to greet us.
“So what happens now?” I asked, feeling a bit nervous with having never done anything like this before. I was totally out of my element. This felt way different than playing a character.
Penelope retrieved her briefcase on the floor and moved it to her lap. “You’ll meet the staff and have an initial sit down for an evaluation, and they’ll make a plan from there. Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll be well taken care of, and I’ll call daily to check on your progress with your doctor. After you’ve completed the first ten days successfully, you’ll be allowed to have visitors once a week on Sundays. I’m sure Luke and Mike will want to come with me to see you on those days.”
“I’d like that. You three are the closest family I’ve got.” Even that statement irritated me. It was damn pitiful that my closest family was people I paid.
“We think of you as family, too, Z. We want what’s best for you. I hope you know that.” I knew without a doubt that she was sincere. We might not always get along or see eye to eye, but she was always there for me when I needed her.
A twinge of regret raced through me, and I leaned over and hugged her. “Thanks for caring.”
“I’ve always cared about you. This isn’t going to change anything.” She gripped me tightly to her. “You’re trembling. Let’s get you inside so they can get you squared away.”
Pulling back, I took a deep breath and nodded. It was time to face the music. Stepping from the vehicle, I was immediately greeted by a man in a suit.
“Welcome to Sunnybrook Haven. I’m Doctor Bentley. I’ll be your personal physician during your stay with us.” I was surprised that the doctor came to greet me personally on arrival. I had to admit, it was a nice touch—even if it was only happening because I was a big celebrity.
Extending his hand, he smiled warmly, and I shook it with what I hoped was a firm solid grip. I didn’t want everyone to notice how bad my tremors were. “Nice to meet you. I’m Zane McCartney.” I figured this was a good time to use my real name, not my celebrity persona. “This is my personal assistant, Penelope Dantes,” I introduced as she exited the vehicle behind me.
“Yes, of course. We spoke on the phone. Nice to meet you.”
As the two of them greeted each other, I briefly glanced around at some of the staff waiting on the steps, not seeing the face I was looking for.
Dr. Bentley noticed my interest and immediately moved to introduce the others. “These are some of the people who will personally be helping with your care. Of course, this is only the night shift. You’ll meet the day shift crew tomorrow.”
Aubrey must work days. Relief flooded through me. I was shaking so damn bad right now I’d be embarrassed for her to see me like this. “Sounds good,” I said, nodding.
“Come on. Let’s get you inside and see if we can’t help you get fixed up for tonight.” He gestured for me to follow and I did, not paying any attention to who was going to take care of my luggage. Someone would get it. Someone always did.
“Z McCartney Pleads “No Contest” to Indecent Exposure Charges!”
~The Inquisitor~
Chapter Three
Aubrey
“Ow! Dammit!” Tears welled in my eyes as I popped my thumb in my mouth, sucking on it briefly before removing and examining it. There was a nasty blood blister forming and the pressure under the nail was incredible.
Glancing at my watch, I realized I was going to be late for the morning staff meeting, but the pain was so bad I couldn’t help my tears.
“Aubrey? Are you okay?” Doctor Wilson’s voice interrupted my painful musings and I glanced over to where the older gentleman was crossing the employee parking lot, concern written on his features.
“I’ll be fine,” I managed to mutter through gritted teeth. “I smashed my thumb in the car door.” The throbbing was reaching excruciating levels now.
“Let me check it,” he said, coming and taking my hand without hesitation, and even that simple gesture made the pain increase. “Oh, that doesn’t look good at all. Why don’t you come to my office with me and we will see about removing the pressure for you.”
“I’ll be fine,” I lied, squaring my shoulders and attempting to suck it up. “I’m already running late. Traffic on the 405 was hell this morning, and I need to get to the morning staff meeting.” Shifting my bag higher onto my shoulder, I moved toward the sidewalk that led to the employee entrance at Sunnybrook Haven.
“I’ll vouch for you. I’m late because I was stuck on the 405 as well. Please let me help your finger. You’ll feel much better if we can relieve the pressure for you. I’m sure we can both get a quick briefing from someone who was at the meeting later.”
I wasn’t about to argue. Though I wasn’t fond of having a needle stuck through my nail to relieve said pressure, I was more than willing to have it done. The pain was now at an epic throbbing level.
“Thank you. I appreciate your help. It hurts a lot.”
“I’ll get you an over the counter pain reliever, too. Hopefully that will help ease it some for your shift.”
“Thank you,” I said, again, completely grateful. It wasn’t easy to take over the counter medication at this job.
Being an employee of an addiction recovery service, staff members were not allowed to bring outside medications into the facility, unless they were personal prescriptions. Even then, those medications had to be locked in a special cabinet while we were at work, and any opening of the cabinet had to be supervised. The managers of Sunnybrook Haven went to every precaution to make sure patients staying here were never compromised, or able to receive drugs, illegal or not, from any outside source. As a result, I’d gotten in the habit of never carrying pain relievers around with me. It was easier that way.
Dr. Wilson opened the door for me.
“Thanks,” I said softly, stepping inside and being immediately greeted by the security guard, Skip.
Smiling, he stepped forward, holding out his hand. “Good morning, Miss Aubrey,” he said as I gave him my belongings. “How are you today?”
Sighing, I patted my hair, making sure my ponytail was still straight, while I watched him empty the contents of my purse onto the long table in front of him and checked through them. “Honestly, I’ve had better mornings. It seems everything that could go wrong today, has.”
“Well, I hope you’ll have a better day, now that you’re here.” Taking his arm, he swiped my items to the side of the table. “You’re free to go through. Dr. Wilson,” he said, turning to greet the doctor with a smile as he took his briefcase.
“If you’re free for lunch later, maybe we can eat together again today,” I suggested, quickly scooping my personal items back into my bag without any order.
Glancing up at the handsome, slightly overweight man, I couldn’t help smiling. His amazing positive personality always cheered me up. Plus, I loved staring at his bright white smile that was dazzling against his very dark, mocha colored skin. The two of us had formed a fast friendship, bonding over similar interests, like gardening, and we enjoyed visiting with one another whenever the chance arose. His wife was wonderful, too, and they’d even had me over for dinner on a couple occasions.
“I’m down for that. Just let me know
when you go on break.”
“Okay, I’ll call you on the house line.”
“Great. See you later. Hope your day is better.”
“Thanks. I need it.” I was blinking back tears now; the throbbing in my thumb had increased drastically. What the hell was going on in there?
Patiently, I waited for Dr. Wilson to be cleared and then waved at Skip as he buzzed us through the door.
Working at Sunnybrook was a dream come true for me. I’d had the opportunity to do some of my clinical hours at this facility while I was getting my degree. I’d fallen in love with the people who worked here, and apparently they liked me as well, because as soon as I graduated, they offered me a job. I’d worked here ever since.
It was a fulfilling thing for me. In a way, it seemed as if I was giving back to the world and helping it to become a better place. Patient confidentiality was a number one priority, especially since we often had celebrities who didn’t want the general public to know they were here. As a result, I sometimes felt sad when my patients left, because I knew there was a good chance I’d never see them again. But I still felt the positives of the job way outweighed the negatives. Over the years I’d received several pay raises, so it was a very good income. I couldn’t imagine working anywhere else.
Opening the door to his office, Dr. Wilson rushed inside and placed his briefcase on his desk. “Have a seat and let me run and get some supplies real quick. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I slid into the chair in front of his desk, normally used by patients or family members who were there to see him, since he was one of the facility's therapists.
Barely two minutes passed before he returned. “All right. Let’s get this taken care of.”
“You sure you know what you’re doing?” I teased, feeling my nerves get the better of me. “Maybe you can talk the blood blister out.”